Locomotive, Volume 8, Number 8, Indianapolis, Marion County, 21 April 1849 — Page 1

"brevity is the soul of wit," ' ' ' .. . t - - ; " ' ; - VOL VIII. CITY OF INDIANAPOLIS, SATURDAY, APHIL 21, 1849. No. 8.

T II EX OCO MOTIVE

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. The Pride of Virginia Blood. :We have heard a great many anecdotes of the glory which the Virginian takes in his origin, and of his manner of vaunting of it. Many of these stories are as ridiculous as the claim, but the drollest illustration of it 1 that we have met with is in a Hoosier story, which, treats of the courtship of an old and ugly Virginia widow, whose wealth rendered her very attractive to the fortune-hunters of Indiana. Among the rest a young lawyer waited on her one morning with

designs upon his palpitating heart. ,

Jest whilhe wur gittin' off into a reg'lar stump speech on the subject, says the yarn, in walked the two Mises Wilkenses the pootyest and sassyest gals

' in the settlement. After they d got seated, the vid

der turned round to Dick, jest as ef thar'd been no

one present, and sez she .

'Mr. Mason, what kind of blood do you spring

frum?' .

That staggered Dick, and tryin' to thank, he got wusser in a heap than the Doctor ; 'sides all the gals

eot a gigglm' at him. -

Why, I was born in Indianee,' said Dick, ' and I'm of opinion my old dad war as respectable a

planter as lived in his country, any wnar.

Indianee!' said the old widder, turnin' up her

nose I'm thinkin', Mr. Mason, you'll hev to use a good deal of sarsapariller to purify Indianee blood up to furst rate Virgini standard. Your mixtur might suit my sally' pintin' at her nigger servantbut it can't take car of misses.' : ' 1 guess I'll go try the sarsapariller ' said Dick, and, mad as a wild cat, he bolted out of the parlor. . Courtship and Marriage. The difference between Courtship and Marriage was never more forcibly explained than it is in the following: 'What made you'get married if you don't like it V . Why I was deluded into it fairly deluded. I had nothing to do evenings, so I went courting. Now courting is fun enough I havn't got a word to say agin it. It's about as good a way of killing an evening as 1 know of. Wash your face, put on a clean dickey, and go and talk as sweet as sugar and molasses candy for an hour or two, to say nothing of a few kisses behind the door, as your sweetheart goes to the step with you. When I was a single man, the world wagged well enough. It was just like an omnibus; I was a passenger, paid my levy, and hadn't nothin' more to do with it, but sit down,

and didn't care a button for anything. Sposin' the omnibus got upset, well, I walks off, and leaves the man to pick up the pieces. But then I must take a wife and be hanged to me. It's all very well for a while ; but afterwards it's plaguey like owning an upset omnibus.'

A mother admonishing her son, a lad about seven years of age, told him he should not defer till to morrow what he could do to-day.' The little urchin, replied. 4 Then mother, let's eat the remainder of the plum-pudding to-night.'

A Book for the Locomotive. BY UNCLE EDWARD. CHAPTER IV.

Letter to a Friend written on a tombstone. My Dear Friend. You are aware that Winter

is no more. Aye ! his snowy locks cluster now over

his cold brow in the grave. He is gone. But he

has not left us comfortless. See the beautiful

bright Spring which rises from his phoenix ashes.

A bright world bursts out and a sunny smile pass

es over the land. The forest begins to look green

The flowers smilingly peep out from their bursting

buds.- The tenderest leaflet ventures forth and

fringes with its delicacy the dark vernjal carpet of

nature. Shadows, . dark and heavy, fall on the

smoothly flowing stream. From out the forest

depths swells the wild song of birds, and all breathes

of the Divinity, whose artistic hand wrought beauty

mystery and sublimity for eternity. . All things

without speak of life, and joy, and happiness.

But I forgot. I write from the tombs. I pencil

this on the smoothe stone that marks death that speaks of decay. It is evening now, and the Sun is

just pressing his glowing cheek on the Moon's pale,

queenly brow, ere he sinks beneath the gray foldings of the shadowy eight. The stars are lighted up,

and their burning sparks begin to spangle the fading

sky. The cold pale moonbeam, begins to lay on

the colder, "paler marble. And here is death.

Here is a city of marble halls. Some higher, some lower, some older, and some lately erected.

Here is life's busy city in miniature, painted by

death. A landscape in which all may see the effect. Now, my friend, you may wonder why I have chosen this spot to write from, It seems to me this

is the spot where the soul may come nearest communion with the spirit world. Here it may expand

and almost breathe, sweet, spiritual inspirations, in

that eternity which is but beyond the dark doors of

these last dwelling places. I feel, while seated on this stone, all the reality of that slight distance there is between life and death. .' ,

Oh, my dear friend, how can 1 exhort you to think

of these things. Life the grave and then, eternity. . And what is life ? Religion only can soften

it. The world is bright, and beautiful, and smiling;

but then again it is dark, shadowy, and gloomy.

Listen to that voice which descends like a dove, and

while your eye sparkles with the little gladnesss of earth, niay it pierce far deeper into that Paradise above, where angels bathe their bright wings in the radiance of Divinity, and where the harps jpf love flow on forever in unceasing numbers. Ypur friend -.,

Mr. Editor. In looking over your last paper, I did not see a communication of any kind. Now, this will not do, for I see in one of your papers an invitation, or promise, from you to publish

anything that would be of any use to the public from correspondents. . Some few weeks since several young gentlemen took a turn at each other, and it seems they made what wa3 called a draw game of it, and quit. Now, it seems to me if I could only get time and a subject, I could write something that would interest somebody ; it would be curious if it did not. I have a great notion to trv it anvhow

W 0 y without a subject, and as for time I don't care so particular for that. I see by the daily occurrences, that the most lazy and political dependantsare most apt to get office.". Shaw ! I wish my old father had let me alone, when I used to lay down in the shade in the fence corner; I tell you what, if he had let me alone, I should have laid my schemes, so that, by this time, I could have had some good, office, living easy, making money fast, &c, ; so that, instead of work, work all the time, I could have stuck my foot against the chimney-piece, and bid the world

go on, while I pocketed the dimes. It is a fact, that

where a man orice gets into office it will never do to turn him out again, for the reason that that is

his business, and if you turn him out, you turn him

out to starve; and in this republican government that would not do ; if you turn him out of one office, you must always provide another for him, for poor fellow, as they say, he knows nothing about work. And there is just where my father honestly missed

it, and then here again arc a great many men even

in this place, who are fools enough to be found

sometimes splitting wood, cleaning stable, saddling

their own horse, spading in the garden, when they

can find nothing else to do. ' Poor fellows, they don't know they are just working against the sympathies

Of the people, and thereby when they want a man

o fill an office, "they conclude it is best to help the

man who cannot, will not do anything (unless he

has an office,) ; well, well, I suppose the workies must work on, and let these good men alone, who have barely been in office fifteen or twenty years. Mr.

Editor, this subject never entered my brain till I began to write, and my pen ranright off into it before I had time to think what I was about. Indeed, I expected just to rattle away at anything, and make a few suggestions for the b'hoys. Then again I

thought I would ask your advice on domestic matters, whether and so on ; whether all persons hav

ing poor cattle had not better exchange them for

fatter ones, for I see most of the cattle in Indianap

olis have to lean against one another to stand up, and a fair exchange might be made by every man who owns such, to either carry a little larger quantity of feed to the cow, or roll the cow to the feed,

as there is but few market wagons that come to town now with straw in them ; and if they did, the cowa

are mostly too poor now to rise up to the top of the wagons. Ah ! there is another thing, I wish to ask

you about. Some of our women folks want some help to talk about finery; bless you it is too much trouble to have to tell of all the beautiful, beautiful

goods, and the beautiful dress, or cap, or some other

Deautnui ming iuiss u., or Miss or Mrs: ti. had.