Locomotive, Volume 7, Number 13, Indianapolis, Marion County, 24 February 1849 — Page 4

' A jest's prosperity lies in the ear " . . Of him that hears it never in the tongue Of him that makes it." Love's Labor Lost.

A Game of ' Poker' in Califobnia. A friend just up from New Orleans, where he met several persons who had recently returned from California, related to us yesterday a very amusing anecdote, which occurred at a card table in the "gold regions" of that country. It appears that four persons had seated themselves in the mines to play a game of poker the ante, as a substitute for money, being a handful of gold dust. They continued playingsome time without either side winning much. At lenth one of the party, who had a good hand, went a handful " better." 1 see that, and go a pint better," cried out another, who also had a "strong" hand. " I see that," responded the first, " and go a quart better." " Well. I see that, and go you a GALLON better," responded the other, This rather disconcerted his adversary for a moment, as it "oversized his pile." 'But, confident in the superior strength of his hand, he collected, together all the gold dust he had left, and. putting it aside, coolly remarked to one of his companions : " Here, Jim, watch my pile until I go out and dig enough to call him!" " Splitting the Difference. A nice young gentleman, not a thouand miles from this, after a long and assiduous courtship, found himself, one bright evening, the betrothed. of a pretty girl,, the Very pink of modesty. One night, he was about to take

his departure, and after lingering about the door for somo time, in a fidget of anxiety, declared and protested to Miss Nancy, that he could not and wouldn't leave'until she had kissed him. Of course Miss Nancy blushed beautifully red, and - protested in turn, that she could not and would not do that. She never had done such a thing, and never would until she was married so now he had it. The altercation and debate became deep and exciting, until .the betrothed buffed outright, and deelarod if he couldn't kiss her he couldn't have her and was marching off. She watched him to the gate, and "saw the fat was in the fire,' unless something was done- v ' ; . 'Come back, then !' saidshe,'coaxingly, ' I'll split the difference with you you may squeeze my hand ' . . Most Excellent Advice. A handsome young widow of our acquaintance applied to a physician to relieve her of three distressing complaints with which she was afflicted. ' x : "r In the first place,' said she, ' I have little or no appetite. What shall I take for that Doctor 1 For that, madam, you shall take air and exercise.' . - . - 'And, Doctor, Tarn quite, fidgetty at night, and afraid to lie alone. What shall I take for that ?' - 'For that, madam, I can only recommend that you take-a-husband !' ,' Fie ! Doctor. But I have the'blues, terribly. What shall I take for that V v - v For that, madam, you have, besides taking air, exercise and a husband, to take- The Locomotive. Etiquette. A lady entered a dry goods store the other dav: inauirinc for a varietv of nrtinlns . sho

' l C3 t requested the clerk to show her some cambric of i i .

nay coior. - ' - The clerk inquired, with somo surprise, what she meant bv that mini-. ' '

' Why,' replied the lady, ' cambric the color of

yuur drawers. 'You are mistaken, madam,' said the clerk, I don't wear anvS

It was some time before the lady could make him

understand that she alluded to some store fixtures

How to Write a Love-letter. Rosseau tells

us, that to write a good love-letter, you ought to be

gin without knowing what you mean to say, and to

nnisn wnnoui Knowing wjiat you have said.

Emphasis. Emphasis is known to be of great consequence in a public speaker. Gesture is sometimes equally impressive. An anecdote is related of an English clergyman who was tormented by a termagant wife. By and by, she paid the " debt of nature." ' Her husband' personally officiated at the funeral. His speech was devoted in part to the " thousand ills which flesh is heir to," and was concluded by a scriptural quotation. Extending his right hand toward the grave, he said, " There the wicked cease from troubling" and then placing the same hand on his heart, he added " and the Weary are at rest." ... :.,- . , r. '.'..-- A Good Answer. A young gentleman, who does not live a thousand miles from this city, was in the act of popping the question to a young lady the other evening, when just at the "witching time" her father came into the room and inquired what they were about? "Q!" promptly replied the fair one, " Mr. ; was just explaining the question of annexation to me, and he is for immediate annexation." " Well,"said papa, "if you can agree on the treaty, I'll ratify it." ' . ; . . . .. :

An Outpouring. A love sick, swain, in order

more fully to ascertain the mind of his ladye.love,' closes a letter with the following verse. If you was a dog, and I was a hog, .! A rootin' away in the yard : '

If the old man should say, 'drive that hog away,'

. .Would you worry or bite very hard ! - '

A sentiment so sublime, deserves an answer and we venture to suppose that the lady said in. reply When T am a dog, and you are a hog, . ' A wandering out from the sty, ' , I'll not breathe a bark, but merely remark, . 'Go it, Porkie root hog or die ' I " - A Lfap Year Anecdote. The editor of the Nan

tucket Telegraph overheard the following dialogue on New Year's nieht :

' Will you take my arm? said a gallant to a young lady, after the dance broke up. - " La, yes : and you too, seeing it is leap year,'

was tne quicK reply. : , ; . .. - ; ;,

The Schoolmaster Abroad. A box of goods

was recently seen upon a sidewalk at Boston, marked for Nove, Skoshe. The editor of the Mail

thinks the place must be somewhere 'down-east,'

and that the schoolmaster was out of town when

the box was marked.

-Cool. -"May. be smoking is offensive to some of

you i" " Yes, yes, immediately responded a cloZ' en voices. , ' Well,'', said the inquirer, again plac

ing his cigar between his lips, and puffing away as

if lor dear lite, " 'tis to some jolks " Rewards of Merit-- 'Sam,' said one little ur

chin to another, yesterday ' Sam, does your school

master ever give you any rewards of merit s

' I s'pose he does,' was the rejoinder ; he gives me a lickin' regularly every day, and says I merits

two!'

An Orator, holding forth in. favor of woman,

dear woman,' dear divine woman, concluded thus: 'Oh, my hearers depend upon it, nothing beats woman 1' 'I beg your pardon, replied one of his auditors, ' a bad husband docs.' A very funny, letter writer, speaking of a very fat vocalist, says, on the stage she is quite small potatoes but she would be tremendous in an omnibus r Dress. The plainer the dress, with greater lustre does beauty appear. Virtue is the greatest ornament, and good sense the best equipage. In extra-polite circles the nightnidre is now termed " the nocturnal horse of the feminine gender."

A lover should be treated with the same gentle

ness as a new glove. The young lady should pull him on with the utmost tenderness, at first only mak

ing the smallest advance at a time, till she gradually gain upon him, and twists him ultimately round

her little linger, whereas the young lady who is hasty, and in too great a hurry, will never get a lovet to take her hand, but be left with nothing but her

wits at her hnger s ends. Albany Knickerbocker.

Unnatural Curiosities. Two of the straws that show which way the wind

blows. ... - ' :.'' :'-.,, ' .....

A drop of the milk of human kindness, and also,

another drop from the Milky Way.

.., Ihe sung with which David slew Goliah, and the heel-tap of a gin sling. . . . The tear that was wiped from Sorrow's eye, also,

one of the many bitter tears that have been. shed;

also, one of Niobe s tears ; and, also, a crocodile tear. ' . ; . , . V; y One of the fig leaves used for a certain purpose in the garden of Eden. . . . " Y

..-SEWING . SOCIETIES .. - The Robert's Chapel Sewing Circle meets on Wednesday,

-- ' -.: ' Bom. ' " . -

" A babe in a house is a well-spring of pleasure, a messenger of peac

and love : Yet it is a talent of trust, a loan to be rendered back with interest." On the 12th a Daughter to Samuel T. Woolen.' - . ' -, On the 15th a Uaugther to John Freeman. ' On the -16th a Daughter to James Kennedy. ' - ;. On the 17th Twin Boys to Uriah Hildebrnnd. , On the 18th a Daughter to Banner Law-head; . : On the 19th a Daughter to Thomas Whitehead. . .w .-'-.' 'On the 21st a Son to Butler Smith, .... ,- , : On the 21st a Son to James Spencer. ' On the 22d a Daughter to Mr. JefTers. . . " .. ttavrinflcs. . r , . : ; " O happy lot. and hallowed, even as the joy of angels, ' ' Where the goldenchain of godliness is entwined witl,t-tie roses of love." On the 15th by Rev. J. F. Isesle, Mrs. SOPHIA VENATER to Mr. KONUAD KALB. - - - " On the 18th, by the same, Miss LAY1NA MORGAN to Mr. PAUL KELLER. ' ' - On the 18th, by Thomas Morrow Esq.; Miss CHARLOTTE SPROUT to Mr. WM. JONES. ....... ., , . On the 19th, by Rev. Mr,' Beswick.' Miss C. ANN FOOT to Mr. FREDERICK BAGGS. " - '- - 4 : : 7 ' Blessed are they that remember the printer in their happiness. On the 22dL, at Ray's' Hotel', bv William Sullivan Esq, Miss ANNA TORRY to Mr. MARTIN CROSON. :., When the above couple were married, (they ore a gentleman and lady of color) it was proposed that the Squire should kiss the bride!' We can't say which biushed the most, the squire or the bride, but we believe that part of the ceremony was omitted.. ... , . LICENSES ISSUED TQ Charles W. Murry and Mary June Ballard. ' '' " ' ' . Christian Mesing and Soptiia Bnl?. J . .'; - , ; James Andei son and Minerva Blair. States. ' O Death, what art thou 7 strange andsolemn alchymist, Elaborating life's elixirfrom these clayey crucibles." . In this City, on Sunday evening last, ALANSON J. STEVENS, oged 30 years and 6 months. . . The deceased has been lingering for many months, under ihai insidious disease, consumption -r and w hile, conscious of his precarious condition, was still flattered, from day to day, by what appeared to be favorable symptoms, w hich encouraged hun to hope for ultimate recovery., For a tew days prior to his decease he had felt so well that he ventured out for exeicise ; but a fua-' den hemorrhage of the lungs, puta period to his days, perhap sooner than any one had anticipated. - The deceased had many frienoXand deservedly so, or he Voi' sessed a generous and high minded disposition and a character generally without reproach. His faults probably owed their ongin as much to the querulousness superinduced by disease, ss any defect of menial constitution ; and should and will be tlie more easily excused and palliated. While we linger with melancholy pleasure over his virtues, let us forget those faults incident to us all, and look forward to tha t glorious re-union wlucn all hope for in the spirit world, where we shall be freed fror.i tne

inn a anil sorrow s wnicn ainici u. noon tano. .-("

JOHN DOUGLASS.

JOHN K. ELDEB

DOUGLASS & ELDEBt BOOK AND JOB PRINTERS.

,FFICE in Blake's Building, on Wash-

ington street, opposite Drowum

ALSO, the Publication Office of the I.occnxotiv.