Locomotive, Volume 7, Number 12, Indianapolis, Marion County, 17 February 1849 — Page 1

"brevity is the s o u l q f "w I T . ' ' VOL. VII. CITY OF INDIANAPOLIS, SATUHDAY, FEBlllJAIlY 11, 1849. No. 12.

THE LOCOMOTIVE IS PRINTED AND PUBLISHED EVERY SATURDAY, AT THE BOOK AND JOB OFFICE OF DOUGLASS & ELDER, OPPOSITE BROWNING'S, BY DAVID R. ELDER & CO. . Terms For 3 months, 25 cents, 53in advnnceC5 " - - One Dollar a year.. No paper will be continued to mail subscribers after the time for which they have paid expires, unless the subscription is renewed. - Advertising For the first insertion 5 cents per line ; each subsequent insertion 4 cents per line. Religious and benevolent notices, Births, Marriages, and Deaths, gratis. , , . Communications and subscriptions must be addressed, Post

raid, to ' I he Locomotive, Indianapolis, 7?id," or handed in

u me ruoncauon ornce, opposite Drowning s.

Kissing the Bride. , A Story of Truth and Humor. '

Sir : I herewith send a bit of wedding cake. I

am in a very bad humor, I assure you ; which you know ought not to be the very day one is married.

It is not at my husband, though, dear good man he

is. . (Jh ! 1 was vexed beyond endurence last even

mg. That vile practice ! Would you believe it? ;

A hundred and fifty kisses ! of all sorts and sizes,

tair and ioul, from old and young, from male and female ! Faugh ! could any bride endure all that

and preserve her temper s Such cargoes of snuff! such showers of tobacco spittle ! such fumes of tobacco smoke ! No poor man covered with vermin was ever more drenched. , If this fashion of the whole company kissing the bride must be followed, in the narr.e of all that's decent, let old granddaddies burn put their pipes before they offer to poke them under your very nose. And those whose throats are at best so many sepulchres, I would advise before they go" to a wedding to fill their pockets with cloves, cinnamon or coriander seed, and commence chewing at least an ounce before the marriage ceremony begins. ; ' Only think of a poor creature standing up an hour and a half after the blessed knot was tied, only to be nozzled and slobbered over "by all the masculine gender of the neighborhood ! Only think of a delicate, modest female, standing like a target, the object of all the lipshots of a large corps of militia, and then, I thought I should have dropped down with fatigue; I verily believe I used an ounce of hartshorn to keep me from fainting. But vexed as I was, Mr. Editor, I could not, to gain the world, help from laughing sometimes at the queer specta

cle we all made. . And you would have laughed too, if you had been there. Only imagine,-if you please, the chief person of the group, me, Dorothy Daffodil, at the right hand of my dear spouse; and a crowd of men, like a swarm of flies round a cup of molasses, all pressing forward and making up their lips ready for a smack ; and then, one after another, poking their snouts into my very face, and me wiping my face every whipstich, to appear a little decent. But the most ludicrous part of the exhibition was to see a bashful fellow go through the manoeuvres. Like a shy trout venturing up to the bait advancing a little and then darting back among the reeds you might behold the poor man with heart beating audibly, coming forward with a cautious step, stooping sometimes through fear, or slipPlng behind the friendly corporation of some broadhacked fellow a little ahead. Having advanced within a yard or so, you might see him as if afraid his courage would fail by delay, dart forward from behind his shelter, snatch a kiss, and be off in the twinkling of an eye. But alas! ludicrous as it may aPpear, my poor cheek had to suffer inconsequence of it, and even now bears the mark inflicted on it by Simon Snaggletooth. Some of the old fellows must needs buss me, they id, on both sides of my face and some of them

said my breath was as a rose in October, and others that it was as fragrant as a load of new made hay. Some of the old fellows with one foot in the grave, and the other on the brink, said they kissed my grandmother and my mother, and now I suppose that they think they have capped the climax of gallant exploits by nozzling over me as though I was a mere baby. .. . I pitied my poor husband, poor man, to be obliged to stand and look on me as silly as a fool, and see his new married wife gummed over. I believe in my soul he would have knocked down half a dozen, of his own unadulterated feelings, instead of being restrained by the rules of etiquette. But, Mr. Editor, after all my sufferings and vexations, here 1 am alive, and I pray heaven I never may be married again, till the custom of kissing the bride by the wholesale is done away. Yours, sincerely. D. D.

Gents. I looked iif the other day at Mc's Da-, guerrean room a place at present much frequented by the ladies, whether to"' have their pretty faces taken off, or to have a chat with ' the old Covey,' I am unable to determine very likely the latter. I saw many excellent pictures - " Which the wild stroke of nature Had taken off at once in the beginning; , Full of expression, right or wrong, that strike, And pleasing or unpleasing still how like." I care not how pretty, or how ugly a person is, in

sitting for their miniatures they are very apt to try to put on their best looks. The ladies must have

every ribbon exact; the folds of their shawls fas

tidiously nice; their persons dotted here and there with the little articles of bijouterie. The gentlemen must have their hair brushed up, to show their frontal developements ; their features must assume

the very nicest or wisest aspect, but all this is par

donable, for no one loves to be called ugly.

But here is a picture of Joe ; the inimitable Joe ;

his countenance as lugubriously stolid, as when

about to burst forth in all the tragic furor of Richard the 3d. His old seedy hat,' well worn and weather beaten, hangs lovingly over his uncombed locks, while his not immaculate linen peeps out from the rents lime has made in his old coat. A hard fate is that of poor Joe ; .unlike his prototype, if he cannot be a lover, being so unfashionably made, he scorns to be a villain, and if the dogs do bark at him as . he halts by them, they have done the same to meaner men but what careth Joe? The butt of every one's ill humor, the target for their jokes, Joe retains the serenity of his temper, and sometimes his retorts strike home. In juxtaposition we see one of the b'hoys, whose devil-may-care expression of countenance contrasts forcibly with the ruefulness of Joe's evidently well pleased with himself, all must, as a matter of courtesy, be pleased with him. But we pass by these "par nobile fratrum" to look at others. "Dressed in their Sunday best,' We have the Honorablcs, 1, 2, 3, 4, as grave in appearance as if deliberating over a petition to lo

cate a road, or pass a law to improve the breed of cattle. Passably good looking countenances, all of them not remarkable for their intellectual appear

ance they will never cut a figure in a much higher sphere. ' ' Look at this one I If she had let herself alone she might have been thought handsome, but the stiff constrained and almost awkward position, combined with the extraordinary display of jewelery, has made her look strikingly ridiculous. Why will the ladies always forget that "beauty unadorned is adorned the most." : We pass over many other pretty faces, and true to the life. Here we have . two a young lawyer and his soldier friend. The one remarkable for nothing but his infernal bitterness and ungratified political aspirations the other, a stranger in our parts, and as his name indicates, very much a favorite with the fair; neither good looking, but they appear as if they did not care much.

Here we have a group of girls three as pretty girls, too, as one would wish to see ; beautiful as Houris, lovely as the Graces, air have " Combined : The unnumbered looks and arts that form , The glory of young womankind." Beautiful, but how unlike in their beauty. Look at this one with the haughty curl of the lip and selfsatisfied air, the pride of conscious beauty sits enthroned upon her face; did we not know her, we would point her out among a thousand as the Belle who has but to smile to conquer but to look, to wiu. Who, then, would not be proud ?-See this one no less beautiful; her eyes half veiled in maiden modesty .'neath their silken fringes ; conscious of a slight infirmity, a shade of seeming sadness is thrown over her countenance. Providance, for some wise purpose, has visited her thus; for if the light of those two little eyes were not partially dimmed, what sad havoc might they not commit, how . many flames might they not light up, among the tinder hearts of our susceptible young men. Now look upon this sweet little face, the last of the group, but the one we linger longest in looking upon; so guileless, so full of innocence and truth ; a scarcely perceptible smile hovers around her features, rendering their naivett expression, if possible, more witchingly lovely. If the face is a true index of the heart, what stores of tenderness, and love, and sweet thoughts, and bright hopes must it not contain. . . Max.

Mr. Editor. In looking over your paper of January 6th, I see an article, headed " The draw game," on which I wish to make a few remarks or correct; a few false statements. 1st. That article said " a concert was advertised to come off in beast valley Johnson Co. near Greenwood by a company of Nigger melodists." (as they justly styled themselves.) Now such a valley is not known to any man living near said school-house, except it be that strip of woodland into which those fellows fled when pursued by one man We think there never was a company of greater beasts of men passed through said woods since the red man hunted the deer and buffalo. Again, that article said " there was a large