Locomotive, Volume 7, Number 10, Indianapolis, Marion County, 3 February 1849 — Page 1

BREVITY IS THE -SOUL" OF "WIT

VOL VII. c ITY OF INDIANAPOLIS, S A T U B D A , F E B 11 r A B Y 3, 1 8 4 9 No. lO.

'THE.IOCOMOTLVE,::;;';.. IS PRINTED AND PUBLISHED EVERY SATURDAY, AT THE BOOK AND JOB OFFICE OF DOUGLASS & ELDER, OPPOSITE BROWNlNGr'S, BY "1 DAVID It. ELDER & CO. ' . " f Terms For 3 months, 25 cents, Krin advanceJJ i ; . ' One Dollar a year. No paper will be continued to mail subscribers after the. time for which they have paid expires, unless the subscription is renewed." Advertising For the first insertion 5 cents per line; each subsequent insertion 4 cents per line. Religious and benevolent notices, Births, Marriages, and Deaths, gratis. . Communications and subscriptions must be addressed. Post

raid, to The Locomotive, Indianapolis, lnd, or handed in to the Publication office, opposite Brovvning's. v ' '

; " Special Providences." The following amusing story, from HowiWs Journal, is, perhaps, as conclusive in regard to " special Providences," as the arguments generally advanced in their favor : . , , ? Some Irish reapers bound for England passing us, I asked whether it were true that, on their' return from the expedition, the people of one city would entrust their collective gains for one man to bring over? " Oh no !" said he; "don't believe it. It

is hard trusting any one in this world. " A priest going along one Sunday on the road, saw a boy in a

very ragged dress, sitting dangling his feet in the

water of a brook that ran by it.

" Well, my boy," said the good father, "what makes you sit there to-day, and why don't you go

to the chapel . - . - - . . j ...

"It is because I'm not just fit to be seen there, because of the raggedness of my clothes," said the

boy. . : .. ' .. - - :

"And who may your "parents be, and what are they doing, that they don't see you better clad, and

going to the chapel on a Sunday i" "

"I can't exactly say," replied the boy, " what

they may be doing just, now, because they have

been dead some years, and I get along as well as I can without them."

. " But you should not neglect going to the chapel,"

cam me priest ; " ana it you are asnamed. ol your clothes, why, I would have you get up betimes in - the morning, and step into the chapel, when nobody is there, and say your prayers, and depend upon it, God will be dropping something in your way." . So the boy thanked his reverence for his advice, and promised to follow it. Some time after, as the priest was going the same way, he saw the same boy, but now very much altered in appearance, and . being very well dressed. ; . " Well, my. boy, did you follow my advice,'and do you now go to the chapel ?" "Ah! bless your reverence,"-replied the-lad,

"that I did indeed, and I wish I had seen you years before, for it was the best day of my life when . I did see you." ;' - . . "How was that?? asked the priest, v t. "Why, God bless your reverence, Igot up early in the morning, as you advised me, and went away to the chapel, and as I did not want to be seen, I slipped in quietly, and got behind the door, and began to say my.prayers, and, sure enough, it was

just as your reverence said it would be Providence was after dropping something in my way directly. When I first went in there was nobody there; but Presently there came a blind man, and he put' his head into the chapel, and said, Is any body here V and when nobody answered, for I kept quite still, for I would see what Providence would be after, the blind man entered, and made his way to a seat, and began saying his prayers. And presently another blind man put in his head, and said, Is any body here V And the first blind man answered and said: There is nobody but me, and I am blind.' And with that the second blind man entered, and

made his way to the first blind man, and sat down by his side, and they began to talk. And the one

blind man asked the other how long he had been

blind ? and he said, 'Eighteen years. " -

- " 'Eighteen years ! that is a very long time ; why, you must have saved a power of money in all that

time. . . .' ..' ' . . " ' Nay,' replied the first man, 'not so much as you would think bad has been my best luck. I have saved only 10, and I have it stitched into

my cap here, that nobody may steal it." . . "And with that, your reverence," said the boy, "I saw that all your reverence had said was the truth ; and that Providence had dropped something in my way immediately. - So I up and went softly up to the men, and took each his cap away out of his hand, and made for the door. But, oh ! the two blind men, but they were astonished, and they seized each other by the throat, and one said : ' Oh ! ye thief of the world! but ye have stolen my cap and my money from me V and the other said : ' Nay, ye thief of the world, but ye have stolen my cap and my money !' And to it they went like furies, and

when the people came into the chapel, they found

tnem roiling on the floor together, and screaming that the one had robbed the other, and the other had robbed the one' but no caps and money were there to, be seen and the men were - more astonished than ever. But I was by that time far across the fields, blessing your reverence for the true words ye had said to me, for, true enough Providence had dropped something in my way all' a.t once. . And now your reverence sees that I dress decently as any boy of them all, and go to tha chapel every Sunday ; and often I bless the day that I met your reverence as I did. " - - . : An Old Joke ina New'Dress. An old lawyer

of the city of New York, tells a good joke about

one of his'clients: - - .. - A fellow had been arraigned before the police for stealing a set of silver spoons. The stolen articles were found upon the culprit, and there was no use in attempting to deny the charge. Lawyer was applied to by the prisoner as counsel, and,

seeing no escape for his client, except on the plea of insanity or idiocy, he instructed the prisoner to put on as silly a look as possible, and, when any

question was put to him, to utter in a drawling mannet, with idiot expresssion, the word ' spoons.' If

successful the fee was to be twenty dollars. ; The

court proceeded to business ; the charge was read,

and the question put to the prisoner: Oruilty or

not guilty V " " " ' '

' 'Spoons ' ejaculated the culprit.'

' The court put several questions to him, but ' spoons,' ' spoons,' was all the answer it could elicit.' ' " The fellow is a fool,' said the judge ; ' let him go about his business.' The prisoner left the room, and the lawyer followed close in his wake, and when they had got into the nail the counsellor tapped his client on the shoulder saying : '

' Now, my good fellow, that twenty dollars.' ' The rogue, looking the lawyer full in the face, and, , putting on a grotesque and silly expression, and, winking with one eye, exclaimed : . ' Spoons ' and then made tracks.' 'A teacher had been explaining to his class the points of the compass, and all were drawn up front to the North. Now what is before you, John V The North, sir.' And what behind you, Tommy 1 My coat tail, sir,' said he, trying to get a glimpse of the same.

LADIES DEPARTMENT,

EDITED BY A LADY.

It Spoils A Man to Marry Him. t " It spoils a man to marry him ?" ; V : : Who' was it told you so ? ' It must have been some bachelor . ' .". Who's just commenced to grow. For some plants cannot wait for spring, ; ; ' They are so" very green, ; i - ; " That even thro', the winter snows - Their soft heads must be seen. It spoils a fop to marry him ' y' ' We cheerfully admit; - . v' As it spoils a flirt to marry her The biters both are bit, ' , ' But a man is never half a man ; " ' t . . Until he wins a bride, He always wants the better halfHe wants the buttered side. ' ' Oh see the crusty single man - That totters on alone, ... 1 ' : ' , Like crumbs ..laid by upon a shelf,.. . ' . ; Till they are mouldy grown ; What do they know of sympathy , - Of homes, and hearts, and hopes? One in a bar-room roasts his shins, ' One in a garret mopes. ' ' ' While the proud, happy married man -. Sits by his fireside bright, .-. And smiling sees his children play .. - . - Andhears their laughter light, . :-; , ., And meets his wife's eye, full of love, , ' As on their bridal day, -:-And. bends to kiss her, ruby. lip, , , And with her tresses play. . - ; , He lives not gloomy and alone, - . v . He need not restless roam, ; ; . ' . He has a jewel-house of joys, , A palace in his home. , .'- " It spoils a man to marry him ?" " Just try it, and you'll know ! : If you grow poor, and pale, and sad, It only this will show, ' That you are silly, cold and. vain, Unworthy of a wifet And only fit to gallant flirts A-shopping all your life, '. " Ned. . Heart to Let. To be let, at a very desirable rate, A snug little house, in a healthy estate ; 'Tis a bachelor's heart, and the agent is chance, AfTection, the rent, to be paid in advance ; -The owner, as yet, has lived in it alone, So the fixtures are not of much value, but soon 'Twill be furnished by Cupid himself, if a wife, Takes a lease for the terra of her natural life ;