Hammond Times, Volume 15, Number 179, Hammond, Lake County, 20 January 1922 — Page 9

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Daring The CX1 Shortage. Ha breakfasts in hia overcoat that's If be eats at all; Ha dons his hat and muffler if tie has to cross the hall. Ha hues the radiator, not because of. heat that's there, Bat for the lorlnr memo -j of warmth It use to bear. Ahem I "SfngTiUr. Isn't It?" "What s singular. Brother Biuea?" "Row few men boast of the iie of their incomes these days."

THE TIMES W

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"I see," eald Mrs. Rumble, "that King George has conferred some rery high honors upon Englishmen who hare distinguished themselrea In eerrice In France. "Quite proper," declared Mr. Rumble, as he dug into his oatmeal. "Brave men are too often neglected in the matter of honors," continued Mrs. Rumble. 'Eren so," assented Mr. Rumble. "The Rumbles have been neglected. Still, our family has had its share. In the early history of this land we had particular distinction conferred, upon us. "Two hundred and fifty years before the Revolutionary War a Rumble was the recipient from William of Orange of special decorations for deeds of valor in this far off country. The West was a wilderness. The West was all the land beyond the Alleghanies.' Those sturdy souls who penetrated the mountain fastnesses and reached the land beyond, and succeeded in returning to civilisation were given marks of distinction that raised them above the level of I the common people. A Rumble was among those so honored." "Did William of Orange live two hundred and fifty years before the Revolution?" asked Mrs. Rumble. "Yes." replied Mr. Rumble, with the air of an authority; his eoneort was Mary. They were known as William and Mary. They founded the William and Mary College in Virginia, one of the most ancient institutions of learning In the world. "The Rumble who crossed the mountains lived under the banner of the governor of Virginia Spottswood was his name. It was npon the recommendation of Governor Spottawood that Ramble was decorated. Tou wTI find that history give a prominent place to S pottswood. Draw out the encyclopedia. JAS. B. ORTT NEWLY ARRIVED OXFORDS of rich brown calf, trim, shapely last, with noticeable refinement, smart low heels. Can be had in soft black kid also. Wonderful values, at $4.95 GOLOSHES? SURE! $4.50

my dear, and find the reference to King William. There's nothing like getting these facts straight. nd I

would like to hare you able to Intelligently discuss our family hisMrs. Ramble Turned Over The Ijevee. tory with our friends when they call." Mrs. Rumble drew a book from the case and turned over the leaves. "This hook says that William of Orange was born In 1650," said Mrs. Rumble. "He died in 1702. He became king In 1689. That was not quite 250 years before the Revolutionary War." "A misprint, I guess," said Mr. Rumble gruffly. "The dates are accurately fixed in my mind. Look under the letter S for Spottawood.' Mrs. Rumble looked. "Here it is,': said she. "He was born in 1565." "Ah! That' something like," declared Mr. Rumble triumphantly. "When did he become governor of Virginia?"

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"He didn't become governor." answered Mrs. Rumble. "He was archbishop of SS. Andrews and Chancellor of Scotland." "Is lie the only Spottswood in the book?" asked Mr. Rumble angrily. "Are yon trying to lead me Into a

trap?" "No indeed, my dear," replied hia wife, "nere's another Spottswood William." "I expect that Is the man," said Mr. Rumble. "When was he born?" "In 182 5." replied Mrs. Rumble. Ramble stopped eating, and glared at her. "Any more Spottswoods?" he growled. "No," said Mrs. Rumble; "bnt here is Spottsylvania Court House, where a desperate battle was fought In the Civil War." "You think you are smart," cried Mr. Rumble. "You are jealous of me and my family record. You are trying to belittle my ancestors, and to cast aspersions upon their deeds of valor and honorable record." "My dear, you are mistaken," said Mrs. Rumble with the purpose of smoothing the ruffled feelings of her husband. "I am simply trying to help you establish these dates. I fear you are slightly wrong In fixing the period you refer to as 2 50 years before the Revolution." "Of course, I'm wrong," said Rumble. "I was never right To keep peace I'll admit it was not 250 ysars. I'll concede it was only 100 years before the war that my noble ancestor crossed the Alleghanies and won the cross of honor from King William. I'll go farther. 111 grant that it was 75 years." "I do not want you to grant anything simply to please me," said Mrs. Ramble. "I want to be able to help you find the right dates so I may Intelligently discuss the matter with 9x12

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our friends when th-sy call." "I'll make !t 50 years," declared Rumble. "We will not make it anything.''' said his wife. "We will fix the date accurately by history." "Make It 25 years." insisted Mr. Rumble. "Now dear, be calm," urged his wife. "Ten years, five years, the year after," fairly hissed Rumble. "We will drop the matter," said Mra. Rumble. "No we won't," declared Rumble "It was the year the Mexican War started. It was the year Bryan was elected." "You should not go on like this," said Mrs. Rumble calmly. "No, I shouldn't so on like this," cried her husband. "I should let the matter drop. I stiould allow the memory of my valorous pregenitors

Mr. Rumble Seiz-ed His Coat And Made For The Street. to be besmirched with mud. I should permit thc-ir nam as to be dragged in the mire of contempt and slander. I should turn their sacred bodies over in their graves and give them a hearty kick. I should do all this and more. I, to whom alone they can look now for defense against the TED

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slings and arrows of outrageous time. "And you, my wife, is thefr deSier. You, to whom I have given their precious name. You, who should be my staunch supporter, and their ardent defender. You rise in your temper and bawl them out to an unappreciatlve generation. Whre would I be, madam, and where would you be if my ancestors had not crossed the Alleghanies and won a distinctive place in the early history of our devotod land? What would our social standing be? Nil! I say absolutely nIL "I'm off. I'm ing to my office, and plunge myself info rr.y work, and endeavor to forget the slurs you have sought to'cast upon my family and its unbesmirched name. No man has ever yet ascended to heights of fame that there was not some one who attempted to pall him down. That's my case. And to think that the blow has come from within my own home! It's hard to believe and too hard to bear." And Rumble seized his cost and made for the street.

Didn't Have A Chance An Inexperienced speaker wa.s prefacing his address with apologies to his audience for the crudftEess of his prospective remarks. "To be a good speaker," said he; "a man should be in constant practice. He should appear before audiences frequently. He should learn to talk with perfect freedom. I don't have a chance to do this. I spend my evenings at hon?e." Everybody in the audience looked around at his wife, who, unfortunately for him, had corae to hear the address. NOTHING WARM BUT THE COFFEE. "How was your house warming? A sue ess?" "Xot exactly. Tho steam Jieat wouldn't work." 1 7 T TkM One Week Onlj

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