Hammond Times, Volume 3, Number 142, Hammond, Lake County, 3 December 1908 — Page 4

THE TIMES.

Thursday, December 3, 1903.

The Lake County Times INCLUDING THE CART EVENING TIMES EDITION, THE LAKE COUNTY TUBES FOUR O'CLOCK EDITION, AND THE UKE COUNTY TIMES EDITION. ALL DAILY NEWSPAPERS PUBLISHED BY THE LAKE COUNTY PRINTING AND PUBLISHING COMPANY. "Entered aa second class matter June JS. 10, at the postofflce at Hammond. Indlna. under the Act of Congress, March 3, 179. MAIN OFFICE HAMMOND, IND., TELEPHONES, 111112. BRANCHES GARY, EAST CHICAGO, INDIANA HARHOR, WHITING, CROWN POINT, TOLLESTON AND LOWELL. YEARLY . 300 HALF YEARLY .'. 160 SINGLE COPIES . . ONE CENT LARGER PAID UP CIRCULATION THAN ANY OTHER NEWSPAPER IN THE CALUMET REGION.

cmcrxATiox books open

TO THE PUBLIC ALL TtMES.

FOR INSPECTION AT

TO SUBSCRIBERS Readers of THE TIMES are requested to favor the mangcnteat by reporting- ay Irregularities la delivering:. Communicate vrlth the Circulation Department. COMMUNICATIONS. iriurt iu ..t- all MmmmileatloM on subject ot general Interest

.., i. ,w .n-h communications are signed by the writer, bnt will

reject all tomalnctUou no signed, no matter what their merit. This precaution Is taken to avoid misrepresentation. , THE TIMES la pnbliahed In the best Interest ot the people, and Its utterance always Intended to promote the general welfare of the public at laig.

eart to Meart

Talks. By EDWIN A. NYE. Copyright, 1908, by Edwin A. Nye.

LIBERAL TOO LIBERAL. J JAMES WATSON IN CASE.

The application to appoint a receiver! The second day's hearing: of the John

lor the Shelbyville Liberal Is being S. Tribbey whlteeaonlne: case at Rush.

THE BEST THING FOR GARY TO DO.

The question of relieving the congestion in the Lake county courts is a delicate one. It Is a difficult matter to hit upon a solution of the question -which will not incur the oposition of the bar of one or another of the cities of the

county. That the courts should be located in the center of population was accepted as a fact when the state legislature established a precedent by creating a superior court at the other centers of population which do not happen to be county seats. Crown Point got its court for the reason that it is a county seat. Hammond got its courthouse because at the time it was the industrial center of the county and even with unanimous support of the Lake County Bar it took ten years to put through the legislation establishing the superior court. It is certain, that Gary cannot hope for the establishment of a court without the co-operation of the entire bar of Lake county. .

- It would seem, then, that it would be far better for the Gary bar to accept the promised future assistance of the rest of the Lake county bar at its face value and do what it can to aid in the relieving of the congestion in Hammond and Crown Point than to oppose such a program now in the hope of forcing the immediate recognition of Gary's claims. The bar of Gary is to be commended for its enterprise in making an effort to secure an independent court for the new steel city. The effort

was productive of good in that Gary is promised the co-operation of the jng the min(i you may also ovlGt THE

rest of the county in time to come when it will need a court. MORAL STRENGTH of the child.

In view of the facts it is apparent that the time has come when it Melancholy instances of these ef-

wnnld eeem an act of wisdom on the part of the bar of Gary to gracefully fects are not lacking.

acquiesce to the present program. There can be no question that in the After good health educatn consists . i r,imot twr,. In making A GOOD WORKING

near iurare ia ereau umuauia xo w BRAIN. And a 'good brain, like

snip win mase an mueyenueui. un. ai,. """" good body, must be slowly matured

the whole bar of Lake county will oe reaay ior a long pun, a sarong puu MUSHROOMS may be quickly grown

and a pull all together for Gary. BRAINS cannot be. Hothouse meth-

Of course Gary will go to the legislature and fight for a superior court, ods will not develop gray brain tissue.

This she can doindependent of any other part of Lake county. . If she can Education, the word itself, comes .v" W nooHa n court rnnro than ' other narts of the countv from the word "educare" to draw out

PnctaH wscbpv will nrnhahlv aid Representative Kliver in nushine To draw out of a chlia Its natural

the bill. This is one fact that we should all look squarely in the face. The "Ltif

Times refuses to slop over use some or us contemporaries are aoing. Therefore

w w Do not force your child's mind.

"LEAN-FACED ENVY IN HER LOATHSOME CAVE."

FORCING THE CHILD'S MIND. Once in awhile a. real educator tells us something about real education. President G. Stanley Hall says, "Today children need retarding in their development more than they need pushing forward." Rather startling. Many parents grlevee because their children do not get on rapidly In school. In most cases of this kind they are wrong. The old idea of pushing children in their studies is giving way. President Hall says: "Precocity is the great danger now. Our children rush ahead and become adult3 before they should. The best

way to broaden 13 to retard, to delay, to allow children to linger in their par

adise and get the full benefit of the

rich and manifold benefits of hered

ity." Read that over two or three times. There's a lot of sense in it.

It must be remembered, first of all,

that EDUCATION IS A GROWTH.

Growth requires time for perfection.

Education is DEVELOPMENT. De

velopment comes by slow processes. Besides

It is little less than a crime to cheat

a child out of Its childhood. You can

do that, you can push a child out of

Its natural paradise, by cramming It3

mind with stuff it cannot mentally di

gest, by trying to force a culture that

should require years

The very first thing in education is to MAKE THE CHILD A STRONG

ANIMAL.

You cannot get mental force unless physical power Is behind it. Build

up a strong "body for the child. The

strain of the years will test that body

to the utmost.

And, remember-

There is danger in forcing the child's

brain beyond its normal processes.

You may not only stunt the body; you may also blunt the faculties of the

mind.

Between stunting the body and blunt

UP AND DOWN M II

! D I A : A

American Princess Who Asks Divorce

heard. Seven of the stockholders of

the Liberal Publishing: company are asking for a receiver and they are being examined individually by the attorneys.

LAST SALOON ai'ITS. The present week is the last for the

saloons In Henry county, and when next Sunday morning dawns Newcastle and Henry county will be dry as a desert. The lone saloon in this city.

operated by James McVeigh, as soon as he closes his saloon, will move to a farm which he has purchased southeast of the city.

ASSAULTED BV NEGRO. Mrs. Harry Dannetell, wife of a

farmer residing two miles south of Seymour, was brutally assaulted by an unknown colored man while walking

In the road near her home about noon

yesterday. Her assailant met her in

villa brought out some remarkable de

velopments. Tribbey was on the stand throughout the day, and this afternoon

was subjected to a grilling cross-exam

ination by James E. Watson for the

defense. OPERATE ON SMALL BABY.

An unusual operation was performed

by physicians at the Deaconess hospl-

iai in inaianapona, a lew days ago when a grain of corn, lodged in the lung of a 18-months-old baby, was removed. The child, the son of Mr. and Mrs. Fred Hltzeman of Cumberland, after being in a precarious condition

for many hours, has gradually revived and yesterday was reported out of

danger. END PUBLIC DANCES.

Saturday night public dances will not be permitted in South Bend this winter. Chief of Police McWeeny has

O '.. "Y-yV,

the road, and, after asking her a ques- ordered all public dance halls closed.

tion, caught her by the throat and The attempts to run the places in con-

choked her. Mrs. Dannetell was rend

ered unconscious.

NIGHT RIDERS BURN BARN. Night riders early yesterday morn

ing destroyed the barn of W. H. Gos-

sar In Warrick county, near Evansville.

nection with saloons is said to be re

sponsible for the order. ELEVEN HURT IN WRECK.

Eleven persons were injured this morning in a disastrous wreck on the

Dayton-Indiana Union Traction line

The barn was filled with tobacco, and between Union City and Arcanum, O.

the loss is estimated at $3,000, with in- One person is no wdying and ten more surance of $1,000. Mr. Gossar .recently are lying at their homes In Greenville moved to Warrick county from Ken- and Arcanum seriously but not fatally

tucky and It is said while a resident injured.

of that state ho had refused" to his tobacco.

ANDERSON WANTS A PARK,

pool

EMPLOYES HONOR MIRDOCK.

For fifteen minutes this morning not a wheel moved on the Lafayette street

'V, ,

Ssrl S M fir

'.Jim.1 :

1 r-

i ''J

The Anderson city council at a meet- ' railway. The cars were stopped from

ing last night began negotiations for 10:30 to 10:45 in tribute to the mem-

the purchase of Riverside park. A por- ory of James Murdock, whose funeral

tion of this tract adjoins the municipal was conducted at St Mary's church at

water works plant and may be used 10:30. as a dumping ground for refuse. The , CHARGES SEDUCTION.

tract is the property or mei mcltii- , At tne adjournment of the Delaware

circuit court this evening at Muncle,

Mrs. Carrie Abbott of Indianapolis

lodged a complaint against Amos Whit-

-4

r ' . "

sss . .'., ; .

lough and is appraised at $2,900. .

WATER WORKS CLOSED. At 6 o'clock this evening the Bloom-

ington water works plant was closed, and no more water will be sent through the mains until there is rain

ley Sr. of Muncie, charging him with

the seduction of her 13 year old daugh

ter, Beatrice Tuttle, and demanding

J-

- - A i.

N - - j. .:-:o-.'---v. i i (

enough to fill the two big reservoirs. $50,000 damages.

alfa and grain, and are growing like weeds. Irrigon (Ore.) Irrigator.

Matrimony Is a poor reformer. A wife can make a man sober down, bat she has hard sleddins; to s;et him to sober up.

Don't forget, of course, that you may crab the coal bill by doing too much Christmas shopping.

Well, write her a poem. It will show her that yon are ready to be declined all over again.

THIS IS MY 70TH BIRTHDAY. Cleveland Abbe. Cleveland Abbe, a distinguished me

teorologist, was born in New York City. Dec. 3, 1838. His education was

Several leading stingy citizens have already got their Christmas shopping done. That is, they won't do any.

Have you ever noticed it ? " Nov. 13, 1850

n-i n, t.i.rtni rtrha nnrs o mara otrm flvirnr fhrrm oh 1 1 904 Armored cruiser Tennessee

. .. . . , i .t. ,M i u j launched at Philadelphia.

an innnituae 01 space iook aruuuu meui ctumui, ian tu mulc mo uc-

plorable number of human ciphers hi every day life.

Some of these insignificant ciphers, destined as sure as fate itself to become ultimate failures In life's plan, waste their precious spare moments

and consume their vitality in spitefully and viciously hating some person

wnom tney imagine nas given tnem onense. received at the College of the City of

Never does it appeal to them for a moment to consider how much or 1 New Yorkf the University of Michigan

how far thev have offended the person they so bitterly detest. Nothing in- anf Harvard university. In 1860 he

dicates a more conspicuous mental narrowness and a contemptible meanness forthe next ftur years UsTnof disposition than this. gaged in computing longitudes, star The nitlable thines who can never see anything good in the person who catalogues, etc. In 1864 he went to

has unintentionally displeased their little warped souls and given them Russia and for two years was an as l.., ..,i .ji, sistant at the Imperial Central Astro

nn upyun.uun.j- iu uoo cucii uuluui3 mU ,CUUUJU " nomlcal observatory at Poulkova, near

the bitter aloes or impotent euccessiessness. st Petersburg. In 1867 he returned to

There is the jealous cipher who writhes with torture because others America and became an assistant at the have a little more than he has or because they can wrest mastery from the United states naval observatory. From . . . . . , . , . tt ii i-i . 1868 to 1873 he was director of the Cinheights where his efforts spell miscarriage. Heaven pity such natures ! clnnaU observatory where he estabNatures possessed by the spirit of the jibe and the sneer! What a waste nShed a syste mof daily weather maps

of energy in malice! Minds caked in mental mud, loaded with the spirit of the United states, with a forecast

t ,.,anIra ioalrtna aa a Tlarv!jrw nifraoTi anrl with a rr.fi In tIoVIq all tTio time Of the Weather for Cincinnati and VI-

In this short puny span of life, where we are all hurrying helter-skelter to the grassy mound, what use hatching carking care, and whose turn next to

be called no one knows. Oh, the folly of hate and malice! . They do not know that Eumenides is no longer.

The married man Who is always ready to admit To bis wife that he is In the wrong, May seem to be only fair to His wife, bat perhaps It is Just diplomacy.

cinty. This led finally to the adoption of the general weather service for the United States. With this service Dr.

Abbe has been connected for nearly

forty years, first in the United States

signal service and later In the weather

bureau of the department of agricul

ture.

RANDOM THINGS AN ft FLINGS

THE QUESTION OF THE VAGRANT.

The Times recently printed a story of Martin Thompson, a vagrant, which has been taken up by Orlando F. Lewis, the secretary of the National Committee on Vagrancy. In commenting on the story, "Charities," a New

York publication, says in part :

"Day after day appear reports of the arraignment of tramps before

magistrates m many oi our American cities. ive mousana trespassers are Manager Green has our thanks for killed every year on our American railroads, of whom a considerable portion the extra cars. Now if some of the

are tramp3. As many more trespassers are found seriously injured. Tramps pe0pie will use them will only bathe.

crippled by railroad accidents turn beggars and exploit the community, what's that about the millenuim?

These are but few of the results of "the road." What can we do ? Several

things are simple and effective. We can refuse food at the door. We can make work a requirement for a subsequent meal. We can urge that vagrants

receive reasonably long sentences when arraigned before magistrates, if they are evidently habitual vagrants. So far as possible co-operation ought to be maintained between railroad police and city police. Unless "tramp

trespassers upon the railroads are convicted when arraigned in court, the railways have little power to reduce railway trespass. City police should

not tolerate evident vagrants upon the streets of the city. We should endeavor to obtain when possible more adequate vagrancy legislation. If railway trespass is at present not covered by our laws, it should be. So long as towns or cities must stand the expenses of vagrants committed to jail or to the workhouse, just so long will towns or cities be loath to commit

The maintenance of committed vagrants should be a state charge. Most im

portant of all, among measures that can be at once adopted, is the necessity

for accompanying a vagrancy sentence with hard labor."

The New Subscriber.

A man who has been borrowing the

Times from his neighbor weekly for

several years has promised to reform

and ere long Join our legitimate army

of readers. He says his neighbor does

not hesitate to loan him the paper, but

he feels that he Is looked upon a a

sponger, consequently he win advance

the necessary amount for a year and

have his name placed on the big list.

and thus demonstrate his good judg

ment. Metz (Mo.) Times.

DARK-HAIRED BEAUTIES ARE

ALL THE RAGE. RATHER HARD ON

THE PEROXIDES, BECAUSE WAL

NUT JUICE IS POOR STUFF AT

BEST.

Woman doctor in Philadelphia says that she believes the time will come when kissing will be confined to the

lower classes. Bet she has thin red

hair and a couple of moles on her upper lip.

THE CREAM OF THE Morning News

Princess SsielleDe 3rogIi& The Princess de Broglle, who was Miss Estelle Alexander of Fan Francisco

and later the wife of S. B. Veit of Chicago, has begun divorce proceedings against her husband in Paris on the ground; of desertion. A cablegram that brought the news last night stated that the princess is in straitened circumstances and is supporting herself and her children by singing in boulevard

cafes, the round of which she makes every night.

This action adds another episode to the story of matrimonial adventures

in which Prince Robert de Broglle and his American wife have figured. Ths

prince deserted his wife last September. He charged the princess with unfaithfulness. The princess denied this and incidentally stated sho had sup-

Illlnois supreme court erants munici

pal bench the powers originally Intend- Ported her husband! in splendid Idleness by her singing.

ed for it, so the jails will be cleared

and speedy trials assured in future.

Elevated road officials, when grilled

by city board on account of bad ser

vice, put blame an "lazy passengers.

.Illinois today celebrates the ninetieth

anniversary of admission.

Special commission investigating con

dltions at Dunning makes preliminary

report declaring conditons are not Ideal,

but blames no one

Mayor Busse tells Arthur Burrage

(UOQKIHG ON THE SUNNY SIDE OF LIFEj)

Holiday Season.

The air Is fretting chuck full of zing,

Your walk is getting chuck full or

swing. - You take deep breaths as you stride

along An fool that nothlnsr can be so wrong:

Farwell he will grant permit for first There's a word of cheer In your whistle

clear

An ra.n't" elves way to "can,"

Judge Landis in decision Indirectly I And It's because of the time of year,

ward ball and protests will be In vain.

opens market to oleo and may cause

price of butter to fall.

lJeople interested in Kuaovltz case

plan national organization to prevent

extradition of political refugees to Rus

sia and other lands.

Major G. O. Squier declares that bal

e-id man.

Of tho time of vear.

Kansas city limes. It Did Not Work. Hubert Henry Davies, the play

wright, who has spent mucn time in London, tells of an amusing interview between the owner of a publication in

looning, while adding to the terrors of the British capital, whereof George

Bernard Shaw naa Deen aramaiiu emit,

and Max Beerbohm, on the occasion of

the latter's assumption of - the duties

laid down by G. B. S.

The owner advised Max of the sal

arv that naa Deen paia wurge c-

ou, Mr. Beerbohm, cannot, or course.

expect so much."

Oh, yes, I shall!" hastily Interposed

Max. "Indeed, I shall expect more.

Shaw knows the drama so thoroughly that it is an easy matter for him to

write of It, whereas I, knowing nothing whatever, shtll find it dreadfully hard work!" Success Magazine.

war, will make war less likely. Lieu

tenant F. P. Lahm urges balloons as

safer and cheaper than automobiles.

Widow and servant of slain Dr.

Frederick Rustln are the chief wit

nesses In the trial at Omaha, Neb., of

Charles E. Davis, accused of murder.

German liberal parties offer five plans

in the relrhstae1 for a chane-e In tho

svstem of annointina- ministers, but an- D. C, devoted to union Interests, has

pear to be unable to agree upon any been taken out of the receiver's hand

nard. observing at the time time:

"Being comparatively inexperienced.

The trouble is, if yon Kire one of the old Christmas present thin year, somebody mlitht happen along who will recognize it and give you away.

By the time a woman gets her ' figure in shape to accommodate it to one style, along comes another style to set her eray. What do they expect Captain Norton

to do? Sweep up all the loose sand in Gary and feed all the sand fleas?

. THIS DATE IN HISTORY. December S. " i632 De Yrles, on his second voyage, arrived at the Delaware river. 1787 Delaware adopted the federal constitution, being the first state to do so. 1815 John Carroll of Baltimore, first Catholic bishop in the United States, died. . 1818 Illinois admitted to the Union as

Women Are generally Progressive except when Some man with a set of very Tender corns asks Them to move up In a Street car.

Anxious Inquirer. Tour query is very pertinent. Come on down and count the papers as they come from our press and then go around to the

other presses. You're welcome. Ring off.

If some people could only play their chin music on a flute.

one.

In trial to retain possession of her

children counsel for Princess da Sagan

denounces Count Boni de Castellane as

seeking vengeance and more money

and recounts and explains many esca

pades in court in Taris.

Nord Alexis, president of Haytl, Is deposed and saved from the vengeance

of the mob by the tri-color of France,

General Legitime being proclaimed.

Relations between Illinois Manufacturers' association and Chicago Associa

tion of Commerce strained by disagree

ment over rate question.

national assembly or all rorces in

terested in the reduction of waste from from fire is proposed by the Ohio State

Fire Prevention association.

Cold wave on unprotected wheat

fields and sensational showing of acre

age and condition helps to advance wheat; corn and provisions lower; oats

firmer.

Sharp breaks In prices of stocks in Wall street is not well explained, but

a battle in steel is feaerd.

Pitcher Overall refuses to sign Cub

contract for 1909 on account of difference with President Murphy over sal

ary.

And Mr. Wickey is going right ahead seeing how he can get harbors for Lake county.

MAY ABANDON BESSEMER PROCESS IN RALLMAKING

LABOR NEWS vllT v w r nfied the union i" ' . . ,1 u'fliro r

the twenty-first state.

1S39 Pope Gregory XVI. issued a bull

for abolishing the slave trade.

J8b3 Ueneral Longstreet raised the

siege of Knoxvllle.

ews of the Young Turks. The Irrigator man got a setting, or sitting, as you prefer, of eggs last

18S4 The presidential electors met In I spring and now has eleven fine birds,

the several states and cast the vote Uvoio-hW seven or eleht nounds M-h,

1S94 Robert Louis Stevenson, Ameri-I 4W ' .

whloh elected Cleveland and Heni- a i "'

ricks. will weight twenty pounds each by

can novelist, died In Samoa. Born 1 Thanksgiving. They are fed on alf-

Stecl Company Will Try ew Experi

ment in Secret Tomorrow. With the close secrecy that marks the usual conduct of Its business, the

Illinois Steel company will undertake

tomorrow night an experiment in the manufacture of steel rails, which, if successful, Will mean an enarmous paving, the abandonment of the Bessemer process and the discharge of nearly y,000 workmen In its South Chicago steel mills. The plan Is to manufacture an open-hearth rail, the work to begin and end' In the open-hearth department and ends in the steelmlll department.

Cloth hat and cap makers at St.

Louis recently organized.

Holland now has an estimated union

labor membership of 75,000

Teamsters at Emporia, Kan., have

formed a union. ' The dye workers in Minneapolis, Minn., have recently organized.

The Operative Plasterers' International union has joined the A. F. of L. The retail clerks at McAlester, Okla., have obtained a reduction in working hours. The labor unions of Albany, N. Y., have erected and opened a tuberculosis pavilion. The various central bodies of Orange county. New York, have joined a county labor union. The annual convention of the Seamen's union will be held at New Orleans, beginning next Monday. The Trades Unionist of Washington,

Engine drivers In Germany, who

have run their locomotives ior ten ... . . j -

venrs wltnout acciaeni are rewai um

by the government.

The Iron Molders' Union of North

America is planning to ceieDrate its fiftieth anniversary next year in an

appropriate manner.

A free course of instruction in steam

engineering for members has been ar

ransred by Boston (Mass.) Stationary

Firemen's union.

On Sept 1 there were 182 subordi

nate unions affiliated with the Bakers

and Confectioners International, ana

the numerical increase during the last

term was 2,898.

A bill to nrovide for a state tax to

be used for the aid of injured miners

nnri fnmilies of men killed in the

mines will be presented to the Penn sylvania state legislature.

Local unions of printers have been

started in Trinidad, Barbadoes and British Guiana, and the movement is

spreading al lover the Caribbean sea

and the West Indies.

The next convention of the Building

Laborers' International Protective

union will be held In Boston, Mass., the

date to be decided upon by the Inter

national executive board.

president of the Fall

extile council, has no

representatives tha

under the wage agreement between the

manufacturers' Association and th

council there will be a further reduc tion in wages in the cotton mills nex

month of about 8 per cent. The Fall

River mills employ 30,000 operatives

The most recent return for the Prus

flan-Hessian railways shows that i

he locomotive seriMce or o,,lo5 men

16 07 per cent are on an eight hou

schedule. 31.46 per cent on an eight to

ten hour schedule, 28.86 per cent on a ten to twelve hour schedule. 19.41 per cent on twelve to fourteen hours, and 4.2 per cent on fourteen to fifteen hours. Public baths for miners and lockers for their working and street clothes, so that they may cleanse themselves after their day's toll in the grime of the pit, "dress up" and return to their homes looking like office employes, if they are so minded, is an ideal to be established at the new works of the Buffalo-Pittsburg company, at Marianna, near Monongahela City, Pa.

The Slumbers of the Brook. The poetical young man with soul

ful eyes was walking with his matter-

of-fact brother by the brookslde.

"How the stream tosses in its slum

ber!" he exclaimed.

"Yes," answered the brother, "and

you would, too, if your bed was full ef stones." Youth's Companion.

Best Wishes. "What do you think!" exclaimed the

theatrical star, proudly. "They are going to name a new cigar after me."

"Well," rejoined the manager, "here's

hoping it will draw better than you do." Chicago News.

Non-CommittaL Jack Lend me a dollar, will you? Tom Till when? Jack Till you get it back again.

Boston Transcript.

Wise Red Men. William Hanley, a well-known Du-

luth cruiser and timber man, tells a

good story of Indians and the Importance of personal publicity to a red

skin. Hanley was In charge of a big

drive on the St. Croix river, and In the

vicinity of Taylor's falls a big jam occurred. Among the drivers were half a dozen Indians. They were good men on the river and held up their end with

the white men. One day, while Inspecting the jam, Hanley passed the six Indians. In a spirit of good nature he

hailed the Indians and said: "Break that jam, boys, and I'll put your names In the paper." "Ugh!" responded one, after a pause. "Six Indians dead in paper, but we no

see it." Duluth rsews-Trlbune.

A Little Too Thin. Mick Faith and I see ye're back from the front, Pat. Pat (just invalidated out of the service) Begorra, I knew I was thin, but I didn't know I was as thin as all that. Harvard Lampoon.

Different Minds. "Yes," said the old peer, "my son is willing to stand for parliament." "Unfortunately," lie added, after & slight pause, "partllament does not reciprocate." Youth's Companion.

Left Him in the Dark. Harold What did she say when you turned out the gas and kissed her? Rupert Said she felt as if she never wanted to see my face again. Tit-Bit".

A Dry Plant. Scene: Crystal Palace Yankee visitor (addressing policeman on duty) I calculate, stranger, that If they keep you much longer under this glass roof you'll be in a fair way of sprouting. Bothy (despondently) No fear of that, guv'nor; they don't keep me moist enough. Tit-Bits.

Getting the Cow in Line. Bystander What rrakes that cow persist in coming over this way? Artist (annoyed) Don't you see I'm drawing her? Harvard Lampoon.