Kankakee Valley Post, Volume 3, Number 5, DeMotte, Jasper County, 15 June 1933 — Finding the “Why” of Child’s Action [ARTICLE]

Finding the “Why” of Child’s Action

Possibly Condemnation Is Decided Upon Too Hurriedly.

By HILDA RICHMOND,

National Kindergarten Association, New York. “I didn’t, think you knew he brought it to school,” said the teacher over the telephone to the startled mother of a seven-year-old, “much less that he gave it to a littie schoolmate to wear.” “My pearl ring!” gasped the mother. “I hadn't missed it, but how glad I am you have it safe.” “The other child’s mother saw the Initials inside and returned it to me with an explanation," continued the teacher. “But, oh. I do hope you will not punish him. He’s only seven, you know, and had no idea of the seriousness of his act from an adult viewpoint. We always see those things as if the offender were grown up--when he isn’t.” “I don’t know what to do,” sighed the mother to herself, “but when I think--how are we going to help him keep his fingers out of mischief? I’ve emphasized that ever since he could toddle and what good has it done? To go to my jewel case like that!” Much thought--no solution. The child made honest confession with a bewildered look at his mother’s concerned face. “Just gave it to June to wear. It was pretty. I like June.” Prayers were said. Lights turned out. Still no thought. Then it came. Loving arms hugged a small boy close and then: “Do you think if daddy and I were to buy a nice shiny gold ring with your initial on it for you to wear all the time, you would like it?” Would he? The little chap was fascinated by jewelry! “And do you think if you wore that nice shiny ring all the time it would help you to keep those fingers out of places where they should not go without permission?” “Oh yes!” “Well, that is what we will do, dear." And that was what we did. And it did help the little lad in his struggle to keep his eager fingers out of places where they had no business. This illustrates the idea of walking not only the “one mile” but also “the twain" with a sturdy little traveler who needs understanding, not condemnation. We mothers and fathers need to see beyond the result of the thought and get at the thought which caused the child to do a certain thing. It takes patience and a lot of self-control. But it is so well worth it! And the adult gets many a surprise when he takes the trouble to find out the real reason why the child acted as he did. Not what the child did but why he did it is the thing to concentrate upon.