Kankakee Valley Post, Volume 2, Number 25, DeMotte, Jasper County, 12 January 1933 — Good Taste Today [ARTICLE]

Good Taste Today

By Emily Post

Author of “Etiquette, the Blue Book of Social Usage,” “The Personality of a House,” Etc. MAKING HIS FAMILY YOUR FAMILY A girl, newly engaged, recently asked my advice. She said: “I am going to take a trip with my fiance and his mother and father out West to visit my fiance’s grandparents whom I have never met. Should I take a present for each? Or will a joint gift be better? Also, what should I say when I meet them the first time, and again when I leave? And just exactly how should I word my thanks to my future mother and father-in-law for taking me with them?” I told her she might take his grandmother a box of candy or conserved fruits or w r ait and send her something afterwards that you think she would like for herself. And send the grandfather something, too, if you like. Or, it is not really necessary to give them or send them a bought present at all. The most perfect gift possible is the gift of your responsive appreciation, your inclination to take them to your heart. There is no rule as to what to say. It is the evidence of interest and readiness to respond that counts. Remember that many people show their feelings with difficulty. They think kind and affectionate and approving thoughts, but they don’t know how to say them or show them. Don’t wait for his family to come all the way to meet you. Go half way—even three-quarters of the way by yourself. Especially in the case of old people and children. Look and listen with interest to what they show you or tell you. Try to discover their pet likes or dislikes and act, or refrain from acting, accordingly. In other words, don’t keep those waiting who like to be prompt. Don’t try to assume the role of prima donna —even though they seem willing to give it to you. Don't flaunt your opinions. Don’t contradict, no matter what you think. If asked your opinion, give it truthfully but don’t emphasize it. And of course the secret of happiness for you, as well as for them, is. to learn to love them; learn to like what they like, and then just be yourself. ©. 1932, by Emily Post.—WNU Service.