Kankakee Valley Post, Volume 1, Number 10, DeMotte, Jasper County, 29 September 1932 — Some Random Shots [ARTICLE]

Some Random Shots

Phunny Phoolishness Philosophically Published.

One of the democratic candidates attended a women’s meeting last week, and met a demure Miss ,who remarked to him, “Oh, I’ve heard an awful lot about you.” “Maybe so”, replied the democratic aspirant for office, “but they cannot prove it.” By the time a man outgrows Santa Claus, he begins to believe in political platforms. One good way to end the divorce evil would be to make all married couples satisfied with what they deserve A lot of folks have learned that “repossess” sometimes means just the same as foreclosure. One difference between a depression and war is that during a depression a chap can talk back to the boss without having to peel potatoes for it. Here is an old colored man’s definition of a depression. “Whaffo I’le tell you de depression ain’t nuffin but jes like a folg game. All hit takes to obercum it is tree puts. Fust, you puts your faith in God. den you puts yo Ford in de garage, and last put not de least, you puts yo woman in the wash tub.” Three girls were talking the other night, about men of course. No. 1 said she preferred a man with a past: No. 2 said she wanted a man with a future; but wise No. 3 said she preferred above all a man with a present, and the bigger and more expensive it was the more she preferred him. James: “What is college bred, father?” Dad: “College bred, son is made from the flower of youth and the dough of old age." Comedian: “Say, manager, when I get my salary?” Manager: “How in thunder do I know? When the country lad Goes to the city He gets laughed at By his city cousins Because he gawks At the tall buildings And otherwise shows surprise Over things that are new And ways that are strange. But the same country lad Gets HIS laugh When the clever boys On the city newspapers Get all hot and bothered, As they did this week, Over a news dispatch Telling how some girl Is going to pay her way Through college By sellng eggs that are produced By a flocks of hens Working under electric lights Turned on by an alarm clock--Just as if that practice Had not been quite common Here in Lake county And other country places Since long before Some of those city scriveners Were babes in arms. Selah!