Jasper Weekly Courier, Volume 60, Number 43, Jasper, Dubois County, 5 July 1918 — Page 6

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WEEKLY COURIER

BEN CD, DOAKE, Publisher JASPER - INDIANA The least wo can do Is to give as much as we cnn. Be a patriot in the hack yard as well as on the front steps. The trouble with the air program has Ijeen too much air. The American heart has been stirred as never, before. To be good luck the luck must be accompanied by good judgment. The saddest words of tongue or pen are often caused by a neighbor's hen. Sauerkraut under any other name will smell just the same to the neighbors. It matters not who he is, If he Is pro-German lie has ceased to be a good neighbor. Shoes may cost less. "May," mind you, not "will." Take good care of what you have. Most horrors of war eventually will disappear, but what about those over alls for women? "Get a little more" seems to be a more popular slogan in some quarters than "win the war." Does the hour-ahead rule also ap ply to light and gas meters? Some people are interested. There are times when a bureau of public information arouses more curi osity than it satisfies. "Keep chickens in your back yard," advises a government expert. Yes, but keep them in your own. "What are army worms?" asks a cor respondent. They are the kind you find in your wnr garden. Don't be a knocker, unless you are using your hammer to make something your country needs. One cannot see that even the handsomest baseball player looks any less lovely in an army uniform. This thing of giving until it hurts must have its fine points, for who ever heard of an unpatriotic mother? There is every prospect that exports will be under control by the time the experts are in the same position. Many a man knows the difference be tween a linen and a cotton handkerchief whenever his wife tells him. The training of the American soldler will uot be complete without a triumphant tour through Germany. They that go down to the sea in ships and man the merchant marine are also nobly serving the great cause. Reports that two sub crews have gone insane should please the kaiser, as imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Occasionally an enemy alien suspect turns out to be merely one of those people who talk too much without thinking. Sailors at Great Lakes need trig onometry textbooks. We knew there was a catch somewhere In that glorious free life. Not so much is heard now of the submarine. And it is now ancient history that the submarine was to win the war for Germany. A cable says Nick Romanoff tried to quit his job as czar back In 1005. Nick made n great mistake in not quitting then, when the quitting- was good. It is said that the kaiser has hallucinations. One of them and the worst Is that he can whip the world and make America pay the expenses of the job. A Swlss correspondent claims to have discovered that the kaiser is a victim of hallucinations. It's funny, what passes for news in some countries. Germany persists in considering polygamy to build up its population after the war. But the returned soldiers may hold they have suffered euough 1 The German press says the kaiser kept the peace for forty years. Va knew a man once who was a model husband for many years and then one day he decided to murder his wife and did. An Anzac has been cured of shcL blindness by an operation in the neck. Might try this on some of the slackers. Universal disarmament may be n long way off, but we note that some pacifist has Invented an elastic band to take the place of women's hatpins. An appreciation of real American tobacco In Europe which will render It available in the shops Is something foi the tourist to look forward to after tu war.

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PROBABLY SET HIM THINKING Reply of War Department Official to Slacker's Request Might Almost Be Called Caustic. The following letter, addressed to a certain branch of tlie war department, and dated from a town somewhere In the West, arrived in Washington a few days ago: , "Dear Sirs : I am a young man- who would like to get Into the fray against the kaiser and his hordes. I am twen ty-one years of age, of splendid phy sique, being five feet and ten inches in height. I weigh about ISO pounds, am quite an athlete and a graduate of the local high school. Together with these qualifications, I have ' had considerable experience in business, having managed for some time various automobile agencies. I am quite familiar with many kinds of automobiles. "I would Itke a position in some branch of the war department as a typewriter and stenographer." The officer to whom this letter came for a reply has seen considerable active service, not only in this war, but in others. He notified his stenographer that he would write a personal answer to the young man who desired war service. A portion of his letter was as follows : "Young man, your letter has been received in this office, and I am writing you a personal letter. It will be short and to the point. I have a son. He is just your age, height and weight. He has a splendid education and has been considered quite an athlete. You have the advantage of him in business; he has never had any business experience. "My son is in France where you should be." MAKES SACRIFICE FOR SONS Spirit of Self-Denial Shown by Little New York Jew as Beautiful as It Is Rare. Essex and Delancey streets are the heart of the great many-tongued city which lives over near East river the Ghetto. The streets are always crowded crowded with bearded men, old women with shawls (and sheitols, eager dark-eyed children; handsome girls, and young men clothed In the East side's version of what Fifth avenue wears. On the corner year in and year out is a little Galician .Tew. His small shrunken face is smeared dark by the stubble of a sparse beard ; his flat little derby is pushed down over his ears ; his clothes are a mere covering. For years he has been peddling the large salt pretzels which are strung on sticks and stand upright from his basket. ' He never tries to force a sale. He never solicits patronage. He lives in a little room over a small bakery. He speaks very little English and yet in a large Eastern college there are two of his sons being educated so that they will not have to live the life of drudg ery the father has led. And the world-weary little father is paying the bills by self-denial. War Strain Causes Nerve Shock. The term shell shock has misled many persons to believe that it is- due to the profound impression or shock produced on the nervous system by the detonations of high explosives. No doubt, there are cases si actual brain or nerve injury due to concus sion of the air accompanying shell explosions, but these mechanical causes are a great deal less frequently re sponsible for war neuroses than the mental effects of general war strain. It is remarkable that these war neu roses, common as they are among privates and officers alike, are seldom found in men Avho have been actually wounded. Perhaps this seeming anom aly is due to the actual wound shock offsetting the mental Impression af fecting the controlling nerve-center in such cases. Popular Science Monthly. Foch Keen Student of War. General Foch, like General Joffre, is a home lover .. ' avoids society. He is said to live it a small flat near Ids office, when not at the front, and to be devoted to his family. The con ventions of society bore him. Like the proverbial Englishman, he is fond of taking long walks, and never knows when he Is beaten. His saying that "the battle is never lost until Its loss is admitted" is famous and indicates not only his military wisdom, but his sane and courageous philosophy. Al ready a master of strategy before the war, he has not been slow to learn the new lessons of the present conflict; rather, Indeed, has he developed added Initiative, decision and military audac ity. Gas Well Finally "Tamed." Out In the sagebrush-covered wastes of eastern Washington there has just been tamed a big gas well, and devel opment work on the property Is now under way. The flow of gas was dis covered three years ago, when a mis guided settler drilled for water and had a four-Inch pipe blown out of the ground. A year later a passerby threw a lighted match into the gas and for IS mouths the well burned day and night, a beacon visible for miles around. A few months ago the old well was capped, the gas used to pro vide fuel for a modern drilling engine, and an lS-lnch pipe has just been sunk Into the gas reservoir. Mat Restorer. Rubber matting that has been In use for some time and Is beginning to look the worse for wear may be restored to respectability by painting it with lead-colored paint This gives a varnish surface that Is not ouly pllproof, but is easily cleaned with a cloth.

Now Comes the "Yeoette" to Dazzle Washington WASHINGTON. This wonderful old city is just brimful of dashing, flashing, fetching uniforms. Of course, the people who fill the uniforms catch most of the feminine eyes, but there is one uniform that rather causes the male glance to wander. Maybe it Isn't

But the yeoette has something more important to do to win the war thau to look handsome. She is a mighty Important cog in the machinery of Secretary Daniels' organization which is fighting the undersea boats of the kaiser. If the navy wins the war, and there are those in Washington who believe it will, all of the glory can't go to the brave men who were on board ship. Without the organization behind them they wouldn't have beeh able to accomplish much, and without the yeoette the strength of the navy wouldn't be as great today as it is.

Of course, it seems that the little yeoette is mighty unimportant, but She has filled a good many gaps in the navy department and she has released hundreds of men for service on sea. She is really nothing more than a firstclass stenographer and office secretary, but in these days any sort of a stenographer is a prize and the first-class stenographers and typists who become yeoettes are jeweled prizes.

Now, What Will Selfish Bachelors Be Doing Next? AMAN was buying darning cotton. The woman next had just transacted a little deal in pins. Counting by seasons, he was early summer and she was autumn nipped by frost. The classification is necessary to explain the impersonal chumminess of the two.

"Hello, Frank, boy. Looks as if you have been getting married." "Never trust to looks, Miss Ann. We ran out of thread and Joe tied a string around my finger see? He's the family mender." It sounded somewhat cryptic, so autumn asked for enlightenment, and this is what she got: "Two years ago four of us department fellows set up housekeeping, and have just renewed the lease. It's

a bully way to live, Miss Ann. Each of us has two rooms which we furnish to suit ourselves, and there is a man to cook and a Saturday cleaner to make the wheels go round. Bob attends to rent and wages, Joe markets and mends, Billy keeps tab on fuel and light bills, and I'm the official shopper. Say, Miss Ann, this housekeeping stunt is great. I don't blame you business women for not getting married unless you feel like it because I'm that way myself. I used to think I'd have to get me a wife just to have a home every man wants a home, but now that I've weathered the infatuations of calfhood you don't catch me ever giving up my home with the boys, except for solid love. What do you say to that, lady?" And lady said but never mind what she said. He didn't.

Believes He Struck a

MALCOLM KERLIN. assistant city postmaster, ought to know about this, anyway, so here jroes: Kirk Miller, that ancular fellow, wants tn know

when bargain days in parcel post went into effect. Kirk says he had a package to send to a friend in New Mexico

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of the parcel until later in the day, when the treasury could be replenished. At lunch time Kirk tried it again. There was another clerk at the window this time. "How much will this package take?" "forty-eight cents." "Gee!" said Kirk to himself, making some mental calculations. "I'll hold on to this until later in the day." That evening on his way home from work he stopped in again. "How much?" he asked. The clerk another one still weighed the parcel and said: "Forty-one cents." "Guess that's cheap enough," replied Miller. MYou can have it."

Just Why Jimmy and Leo Didn't Get That Raiss THIS Is the story of a case of mistaken identity. Jimmy and Leo were out in one of their employer's automobiles early the other morning so early, in fact, that the streets were pretty clear of people. "Gee," said Jimmle, "look at the pretty little dog. Why, it

looks like" "It belongs to the boss," finished Leo. "Let's catch it and take it back to the office, and maybe we'D get a raise." Jimmy and Leo descended from the car and, with soft tread, made for the dog. But that creature was wily and eluded their grasp in a graceful but effective manner. Into the automobile hopped the two boys, and after

a few preliminary bangs the car sped after the dog. Catching a dog in an automobile is not as easy as it sounds. The dog took it easy and kept to the sidewalk, making the downtown blocks without any trouble. Then he ran into a yard, up the front steps, and into the vestibule of a fine-looking house. "Now we've got him !" whooped Jimmle. Cornered in the vestibule, the dog had little chance, indeed, to escape the triumphant youths. They grabbed him up and made off with him. Indignant barks and ki-yls awoke the neighborhood. A window went up in the front of the house. "Let go my dog! Let go my dog! Oh, make them bring back my dog!" screamed a voice from the window. "The woman's crazy," said Jimmle. "It ain't her dog ; it's the boss'." "Let 'er go !" yelled Leo, and the car shot away, with the dog yelping in vain. "The boss will be there by the time we get back," said Leo. The boss was there, all right, and he was waiting for them. "Xessir, here's your dog," said Jinimie and Leo. "It Isn't my dog," said the boss. "It belongs to Mrs. , on Sixteenth Ftreet. -She just telephoned In here and said that two young thugs had stolen the dog out of her front yard and had carried it oft! In one of our wagons."

, Ttne uniform, but there is something PFACHiJ mighty attractive about the "yeoette"

even to a woman. With ducky little blue coats, double breasted and brass buttoned, and white duck skirts, and a chic little white sailor hat, the yeoette certainly makes a pretty picture as she mingles with the thousand and one other uniforms on the streets of Washington. LOOHSUKE TO LOOKS GW NC Parcel Post Bargain Day the other day, so he took it around to a branch post office early in the morning. "How much will this take?" he asked the man behind the window. The man weighed the parcel, looked through his book for the zone rate, and then answered: "Ninety cents." Having but 30 cents in his pocket, Kirk decided to postpone the mailing ,

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30TH MSN IN RIGHT PLACE

At Least, That Is Likely to Be Verdict of Those Who Tolled Over Income-Tax Schedules. The visitor was being conducted through a state institution for the insane and his guide was an affable young man from the harmless ward whose keen intelligence made the vis itor wonder why he was under re straint. Stopping in front of a padded cell. they looked at a stout, short .individ ual with a forelock draped over one eye and a pose characteristically Napoleonic. "Thinks he's the Little Corporal, ehr: the visitor asked of the guide. "Yes; he's had that hallucination for five years." Across the corridor in another cell was an old man poring over a number of blue prints. "What's the matter with him?" "Poor chap," laughed the guide ; "he thinks that he has invented a submarine-proof ship. The hull of the ship is honeycombed with holes; when the war-head of the torpedo strikes, it goes into one of the holes and is held fast by its sides." "But," objected the visitor, "suppose the torpedo strikes between the holes?" "In that case," said the guide as he shook with laughter, "it "wouldn't count and the submarine would be entitled to another try." In the last cell was a middle-aged man at a high desk. He looked up as the others approached and nodded smilingly. "What's the matter with him?" queried the visitor. "Him? He's hopeless; he believes that he is an authority on income-tax legislation." "Ah," said the visitor, "and he isn't?" "No, indeed!" replied the guide; "I am the only authority." Kant Slip. LITERARY FOLK KEEP BUSY English and American Men of Letters Faithfully "Doing Their Bit" to Help Win War. Here is some gossip about literary folk as condensed by a New York writer : "Rudyard Kipling is 'doing his bit' as director of propaganda in England. Phyllis Bottome, author of 'The Dark Tower' and other novels, is now Mrs. Forbes Dennis, wife of an officer in the British army. A one-story adobe shack in Austin, Tex., the home of 0. Henry's now famous journalistic venture 'The Rolling Stone,' was recently demolished to make way for modern progress in the shape of a telephone building. Five stories by John Galsworthy, who recently refused the honor of knighthood offered him by the British government, have been published under the title of 'Five Tales.' 'I would rather entrust the moral character of my boy to the camps than to any college or university I know,' says Joseph H. Odeil in 'The New Spirit of the New Army,' a recently published book describing the life at the camps and the effects of military training on our young men. 'The Hundred Best Gaps' is the felicitous title Sir James Barrie gave to his letter calling upon authors and book collectors to make one marked gap each in their shelves for the benefit of the British Bed Cross. Barrie himself gave the orlg inal manuscript of 'The Little Minis ter.' " Patriotic Mother Canny. When, a few months ago, one of our troop ships was torpedoed there were, of course, many worried mothers. One of' them received a cable message telling her of her son's rescue, and was naturally much relieved. But this cable was followed almost immediately by another asking for money by cable. The mother of this lad was rather puzzled by the message, as she could jiot tell if it was genuine or not. She did not wish to risk sending a comparatively large amount of money to an imposter, so she hit on the plan of sending a return message asking the sender of the first cable to cable the name of the family's two dogs; names which would only be known to a member of the family. The answer with the right names came at once, and the son received the money. He has been boasting of his mother's cleverness ever since. This Swindler Up to Date. Thought reading was the method claimed to have been employed by a man in Bengal, India, to win large sums of money on the race course. It turned out to be a very ingenious form of swindle. Finding a man who is interested In racing, the confidence man produces a roll of money, and states that he won this by his fore-knowledge of the winners on the track. He then suggests that his friend test his knowledge. He induces his victim to hand him sums of money to be placed on the horses, and then vanishes. Investigation has proved that this Bengali had swindled a number of people of large sums of money In this way. Macbeth' Death Place Given City. Belmont castle, the scene of the final struggle between Macbeth and Macduff when Macbeth was slain, has been given to the city of Dundee by its owner, Mrs. Marryat, who inherited a large fortune from her brother. Sir Janfes Caird. The castle, which is located 17 miles from Dundee, was once the home of the British premier, Sir Henry Campbell-Bannerman. The property Includes 900 acres of park Und and Is valued at 2,000,000.

EXPERT'S TRIBUTE 10 WESTERN CANADA SOIL

That there Is good reapn for tha wonderful crops of grain grown in Western Canada, which have made thousands of former residents of tht United States wealthy, Is not always given the thought that it deserves is quite apparent. But that there must be a reason is quite evident. Probably more than one but the one that requires emphasis is that the soil Is of the nature that will produce good crops. It was not long since that tht farmer selected his land in the most haphazard way. He need not do so today. He will select It on the soil analysis plan. Soil from Western Canada was submitted to Prof. Sievens, soil physicist of the State College of Washington, at Pullman, Wash. His report should no doubt further encourage settlement In Western Canada. It reads as follows: "We have analyzed this sample and find that it runs high in lime? very high in potash, phosphorus and in nitrogen; that it has a splendid supply of organic matter and is in the best of physical condition. There is nothing wrong with this soil from the standpoint of crop production, and I am satisfied that it will give splendid results wherever put under cultivation." It Is soil like this properly worked, and on scientific lines, as is the rule today, that gives the opportunity to quote the experiences of farmers who have increased their incomes from $500 to $30,000 in two seasons, and whose story would read as follows : "I have threshed altogether 7,000 bushels of No. 1 Northern wheat from 200 acres, which went from 24 to 58 per acre sod breaking 24, spring plowing 36, back setting 56 bushels the average being 35 bushels per acre." The newspaper giving an account of this man's experience says: "When he disposed of his 1,600 acres from north of Brooks, Alta, to four Oak Harbor men, he was worth $30,000. Two years ago he came here with $500 and a few horses." It Is the soil of Western Canada, and the knowledge of what It will do that brings to Canada the hundreds of settlers that are daily arriving at the border. A growing enthusiasm for tho fertile prairie lands of Western Canada is spreading all over the continent. This enthusiasm is the recognition of the fact that sufficient food could be produced on these prairie lands to feed the world. From the south, east and west, hundreds of men, too old for military service, are pouring Into Western Canada to take up land or to work on the farms. A great many of the Incoming settlers have arrived at such central points as Calgary, Edmonton, and Lethbridge, Alberta, and at Regina, Moose Jaw, and Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. Judging from the bulk of their household effects, the number x)f their horses and cattle, and the quantity of Implements they are bring ing with them, most of the new ar rivals also seem well blessed with the world's goods. Reports from North Portal, Sas katchewan; Coutts, Alberta, and Kingsgate, British Columbia the principal gateways into Western Canada from the United States Indicate that the present Influx of farmers Is In such volume as has not been witnessed for many years. From Vancouver, British Columbia, people are going to the prairies for summer farm work, many with the intention of taking up land themselves at the end of the summer. The influence of this tide of farmer settlers on greater food production will benmore readily appreciated when It Is considered that the average settler takes up at least twice as much land as he has hitherto been farming -and land which, acre for acre, produces better and larger c'-ops. Advertisement Just Giving Him a Prod. "I haven't anything new to sing to you tonight, George." "Well, give me something old, then." She broke into a refrain that was "a song of the day" 17 years before. "That's very old, Clara." he remarked at the close. "Yes, George I sang that to you the night before we became engaged." In the good time coming the bootblack will be able to esteem even the man who wears canvas shoes. NO ADVANCE IN PRICE CATARRH For bead or throat Catarrh try the Ä vapor treatment 25?-50?-$1.00 BK PATRIOTIC To r SoMltr Boj-'i aoto 04 MrrlMSMC tx7. IU0. Mxll ft &4 boy's Jotsr; Ford Owners Attention! A fOSmTE CURE FOR Od FUMPfltS Evmr-Tytm Fmrd SPECIAL PISTON rilNGS top all carbon deposits aad fouled spark plugi. Incraata comprataloa aid fpd woodirfully. FIT VOX TKHHITM IS MX Mt BT I1TUS IX filUUI Ai ML Qoara a ted to do taa work or your moaej baok. $1.00 PER SET OF 1 RINGS JItix-Tytm aai4 la all far l.ato, tr&etor a4 gaili eagitffr. JUk year attaint 4aalr or write TK ETDt-TMrr MIW MM CtfVAHT

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