Jasper Weekly Courier, Volume 59, Number 47, Jasper, Dubois County, 27 July 1917 — Page 2

The

I Conspirators j I Si gi By HI AKERS (Copyright. 191?. by W. Q. Chapman.) Miss Melissa kept the millinery "emporium" of the village. To be sure Ithere was another shop where hats were sold, but the "elite" never thought of going there because the prices were less, and the hats lacked the "Frenchy" itouch of Miss Melissa's headgear. Besides, Miss Melissa was personally popular. No one knew Miss Melissa's age. It was guessed all the way from thirtyJfive to fifty, but she certainly did not jlook over the first figure, and declared she never meant to get old. With her natural attractiveness, and her growing bank account it was not strange that she should have two very enterprising suitors among the few untattached gentlemen of the place. These Itwo were Ferdy Watkins, the drug gist, and .Tared Barker, "loans, real estate and insurance" agent. Barker was considered one of the solid men of the town. He was a widower of about fifty-five, and had lately been elected igheriff. Ferdy Watkins certainly was younger than Miss Melissa, but the disparity in years apparently made no idifference to the young man. About this time there appeared in jthe village a stranger of unmistakably foreign appearance, in fact with quite Ithe ear-marks of the Teuton. To be jan unknown German in an American village about two weeks after the declaration of war by the United States was not only to arouse curiosity, but jto incite a suspicious watch upon one's jevery movement. When the stranger "Be Careful!" was seen going into Miss Melissa's home, he was included in the susjpicion, and when it was discovered that he was stopping there it was darkly rumored that Miss Melissa was limpltcated in, a German plot. It must be confessed that the startling of this story was due to Ferdy Watkins, who thought he saw in the stranger another rival, no doubt the most favored of the three. He dropped Into the other millinery store, kept by "Mrs. Knowles. a widow, and imparted his suspicions to her, well knowing that they would haw a much wider circulation than if printed in the village journal. In one day Miss Mel'ssa's customers dropped off so that scarcely anyone entered the place. But Miss Melissa did not seem to notice this, having departed early, leaving an attendant in charge of ihe shop while she went off on a long motor ride with the suspicious stranger. Mrs. Knowles was not slow in imparting her impressions of these strange proceedings to Mr. Jared Barker when he came into her shop on an errand for the church committee. She had known Mr. Barker in church affairs, and had a burning desire to know him better. This was the first time he had ever entered her shop, and she meant to make the most of the visit. "As an officer of the law, Mr. Barker, I feel it my duty to tell you things I might not otherwise have mentioned," she said with an appealing smile. Barker thanked her most cordially, and went away thinking seriously on the matter. Since he had become sheriff he had not made one arrest. He had actually done nothing to deserve the- election. If he could run down a German spy he would be adding quite a good-sized feather to his cap. Yes, he must certainly take the matter in hand. Ferdy Watkins went out of his way to work up the matter with Barker. Ie had believed Barker his successful rival till the German appeared, and now he was not sure which was the one. But: at any rate he meant if possible to set the two at loggerheads. It would be the means of finding out which was the man who had won, and the fight would afford him considerable amusement while it lasted. When the next day two wooden boxes, one two feet, and the other about a yard long, which the express man handled with great care, were 1

taken in at Miss Melissas' the horrible

explosives was bruited about, and the j dark suspicions of a German plot beFerdy Watkins agreed to assist the sheriff by doing voluntary patrol duty around the suspected premises of Miss lelissa, "But," he protested to Barker, "I don't suppose you'd do anything against Melissa, Dart if I found them manufacturing bombs!" "Oh wouldn't I?" snorted the sheriff. "Try me!" "But I thought you were going to marry the lady," ventured Ferdy. "You've got another guess coming." At the young man's surprised stare he added: "Never!" with such emphasis that Ferdy had the pleasing conviction that they were both in the same boat, and that he had an ally who could be depended upon. At first he had simply thought of damaging his rival's prospects by "queering" him in the eyes of Miss Melissa ; but here was the more exciting game of running to earth the really successful suitor. A week had passed by when the sher iff one evening having gotten comfortably into his slippers with pipe and newspaper, was interrupted by a small, breathless boy with a note from Ferdy demanding his instant appearance at a certain corner overlooking Miss Melissa's place. Ferdv met Barker, and drew him Into the shadow. "Be careful!" he whispered. "We mustn't be seen. "Something is going on! Two people have gone in there with masks over their faces, a man and a woman. Look ! there comes another one !" Sure enough, a man in a long coat, with a slouch hat pulled down over his eyes, wearing a black mask, walked quickly up the path, rang Miss Melissa's bell, and was admitted. "Well," gasped the sheriff. "If that isn't pretty bold! I'll have to go and get two or three men before I start in to arrest that bunch. Don't stir till I get back!" and he started off on a run. In about fifteen minutes he was back with three of the villagers, el derly men, who looked either incred ulous or highly excited, and feeling their heroism at thus taking their lives in their hands for the safety of their country. Ferdy announced that three more had come; and the sheriff con cluded they had better enter at once before any more conspirators arrived to make the matter harder to handleIt was arranged that two men were to remain outside to stop any fleeing criminal, and Barker and two men entered, while Ferdy and another mounted guard. Barker and the men pushed past the surprised maid, and entered the parlor. There was no talking. Everything was strangely quiet. As they came into the room they saw eight or ten people, all in long black or white robes, wearing masks, and sitting or standing in groups. Barker wondered if this was the organizing of a secret society, something like the Ku Klux in the South. He demanded of the maid the instant attendance of her mistress. Miss Melissa in pwn and mask appeared. She removed her mask, and asked why he had come without one. Barker replied that he had come on serious business, and regretted having to perform such a painful duty, but he must insist that she answer his questions truthfully, or he should be obliged to place her under arrest. The guests in the room made a movement to go, but Miss Melissa asked them to remain. "Yes," said the sheriff, "I wish you to remain. Now, Miss Dart, will you give me the full name of the German you are harboring under your roof?" "German?" echoed Miss Melissa in a dazed way. "There is no German here !" "Oh, yes there is. Let me see this man who has been stopping here." "Oh, do you mean Mr. Lindquist? He is an American. But his grandfather was a Swede. He is my brother-in-law. Marcia, tell Mr. Lindquist I want him." "Those two boxes that came here." "Oh yes," she broke in cheerfully. "I hope you're a judge of old china. Those pieces have been in the family for years, and my sister has just sent them to me. There's a fine Japanese vase, too. a present from John. They're not quite all unpacked yet, I've been so busy." At this juncture Mr. Lindquist appeared, and was properly introduced, and much pleased to see Mr. Barker, of whom he had heard his sister, Miss Dart, speak. The sheriff, though, beginning to feel a bit ridiculous, still reasoned that all this might be a blind, and proceeded to ask the gentleman some questions. He answered that he was of the firm of Lindquist and Brand, wholesale importers of Philadelphia, and was quite willing to answer anything further if he might know why he was asked. Barker replied that he would explain later on, and demanded the instant removal of every mask in the room. "Now look here, Mr. Barker!" protested Miss Melissa. "This Is carrying things a little too far I My guests are not to unmask till eleven, most of them are late In comlug, and the music is not here yet. Til not allow you to spoil my little masquerade party!" "In the name of the law, I demand these masks be taken off, or I shall put every person in this room under arrest!" roared Barker. Every mask came off, and Jared Barker beheld the faces of his fellow vtownsmen, and friends. With one accord, they broke into peals and guffaws of laughter. The discomfited sheriff withdrew, and Ferdy Watkins found it expedient to remain several blocks in advance of that officer of the law,

WASTE OF HEALTH IS A PERIL TO THE NATION

BY REV. GEORGE LUTHER

4 The emphasis which has been put on health programs, athletics and open-air agitation has been entirely in the interest of happiness, economy and industrial efficiency. All of which is good and necessary but how often have we thought of it as a patriotic program and that preparedness in health was vastly more essential than preparedness in arms ? It is "the man behind the gun" who makes or unmakes the value of the gun but if the man be narrow chested, anemic, weak of limb, defective of eye, the gun might almost as well never have been made. All the armaments in the world, the best that Krupps or Bethlehem Steel can turn out will never prevent one foe from landing on our soil if the man behind the gun is a degenerate. Not less so is it on the farms than at arms. In the industrial or agricultural crisis as well as the military we demand a manhood who will come forward and lay on the altar of their country their very best. When one realizes that the requirements for our army are that a man shall be five feet four inches in height, wejgh 125 pounds, have a chest mobility of only two inches, and be otherwise fairly sound, one is surprised to find how large a proportion of our young men of today are rejected. One is reminded that we are threatened with a deterioration which may imperil our very existence. May we not well say to the men of today : "The waste of your health may imperil not only your living but your liberty ?" And have we as a nation realized that our greatest asset was not our banks, or our factories, of our mines, or our farms, but our manhood ? Have we been too busy making money so that we had no time for making men? May we not well now turn our attention to building up our walls at this point?

SAYS SCHUPP IS GREATEST PITCHER OF RECENT YEARS Veteran Athletic Hurler Praises the Remarkable Control of the Giant Southpaw. Andy Coakley, the old Athletic pitcher, likes to sit in the press stand of the Polo grounds in New York, right back of the catcher. Coakley occupied his favorite point of observation at a Giant-Cub clash. He was particularly interested in the hooks and curves of Ferdinand Schupp, the Giant pitching pride. It mattered not that Schupp was hit a little harder than usual, although he Ferdinand Schupp, beat the Cubs. Coakley was only interested in what Schupp was putting on the ball. "That fellow." said Andy, "is some pitcher! I don't see how anyone bats against him effectively. He has the best curve ball I've ever looked at and Fye looked at a few in my time. "The most remarkable thing about it is his control of it. He sweeps it over the cuter edge high or low, or on the inside, with as great ease as Matty used to. I never saw a southpaw pitch that way. The more stuff they have, the wilder they usually are. "Schupp has wonderful poise. He never lets the batter work him. He keeps the upper hand all the time. Unless you sit here and waich every ball he throws you cannot appreciate the wonder of his work. "He sat around on the bench a long time, but it didn't do him any harm. This is really his first year as a regular, but he knows all the tricks of a veteran of half a dozen years of twirling. "I don't want to seem extravagant in my praise, but if there has ever been Schupp's equal in recent years he has escaped my notice. I wouldn't, give him for any pitcher in baseball today if he were my property." Gooseberry Flummery. Wash a half-pound of rice and put it into a saucepan with four cupfuls of milk, let it cook slowly until it is soft, then add a quarter of a cupful of sugar, a teaspoonful of lemon juice and stir well. Let it get cold, then butter a mold, cover the inside with a layer of the cooked rice and, when firm, fill with stewed sweetened gooseberries. Serve unmolded with a custard sauce.

CADY OF LANSING, MICH.

4 Flashlights. .V Nobody ever made a real success of the other fellow's business. It's human nature to go to some swell cafe to study human nature, where everything except what is real human nature can be found. A virtue that is boasted of is usually a very new possession. A man can live down a vicious past, but a fellow is a fool to handicap himself to that extent. No man is strong enough to carry a grudge and do justice to himself, too. Being a good fellow downtown is all right enough in its way, but save a little of your good nature for use when you get home. A woman never understands why a lot of other women's husbands can make fortunes out of stocks and mines and real estate and her husband can't even get a raise in salary. I V. X v. .V .V .V !? Jv V. :: I ft: :: : .v .V When He Volunteers. The Minister Trust in God and make your powder fly. His Doting Mother I wonder how long before he'll be a general? His Militant Father Bully for him ! His Pacifist Uncle Dear me! Dear, dear me ! His Proud Aunt He gets his brave spirit from our side of the family. His Little Brother Gee! I wish I fOUld go. His Little Sister I wish I had a dress like that uniform. His Chum I hope he pays me that five bucks before he goes. His Best Girl Isn't he grand! His Girl's Chum Oh, you must give me a militarj button for my collection. Their Next Door Neighbor I suppose they'll be more stuck up than ever now. Drill Sergeant Oh, Gawd ! James Gabelle, in Life. JOKJ How She Felt. Mrs. Higgins And so you have secured your divorce, I hear? Mrs. Wiggins Yes, I'm glad to say that I have. Mrs. Higgins How did you feel when you heard the judge's decision? Mrs. Wiggins Well, I felt sort of unmanned, as it were. His Decision. "I have been in your train a long time now." "I can't marry you," said the girl. "All right. Here's where I change cars, then." A Failure Confessed. "You said I would never want for anything if I married you," she pouted. "Quite true, my dear. My idea was to cure vou of wanting things, but I haven't succeeded." Best He Could Do. "My hair is coming out," said a man to his doctor. "Please give me something to keep it in." "Well," said the doctor, "here3 an old pillbox. Will that do?"

Jill

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a. Longing. V V Sometimes I wish that I could go Along the' paths I used to know, Could go back there and find some kid And go along the roads I did When I had not a single care, And all life's skies were bright and fair. And birds sung in the wayside tree. And all the world seemed made for me. That's what I think I'd love to do! Go find a little tad I knew Away back there, and we would go Where water lilies used' to grow, And bend a pin and fix a line, Me and this old-time chum of mine, And sit until the light grew dim Where little sunflsh used to swim. Those were the days when bullheads bit, And sunflsh why, life seemed to fit Us like a garment, and we slid. Myself and that remembered kid, From one joy to another. So. Sometimes, I wish that I might go And look about and find that tad And be with him once more, and glad. Judd Mortimer Lewis, in the Houston Post. Jack Rabbits Which Live on Deserts of Southwest Are Never Known to Drink. A very curious feature of animal life in the deserts of the Southwest is that rabbits, quail, squirrels, deer, antelope, the mountain sheep and many kinds of reptiles and insects live at great distances from visible water. The jack Tabbit is especially notable in this respect; and, moreover, it flourishes in regions without a particle of green food in sight for miles and miles. Westerners assert that the jack rabbit may be found, happy and fat, spending the day under a scrap of bush that makes little more shade than a fishnet. His skin i:, as porous as a piece of buckskin, and the heat is sufficient to evaporate every drop of blood in his body, yet he seems to get on very nicely. Californiaus aver that no one has even seen a jack rabbit drink. Those who have camped for days in the deserts in vicinities where the only water for miles around was to be found, and with rabbits everywhere, declare that never does one of the little fellows come to the springs to drink. Men have even gone so far as to examine the margins of waterholes in those districts, with never a track of the rabbit disclosed beyond where the grass grew. Some Observations. Little things trouble us and little things console us. Only a fool will pay twice for the same experience. 1 When a man becomes thoroughly contented he has outlived his usefulness. It is easier for the borrowed umbrella to keep lent than it is for the average man. The hardest thing in this world fof a dead game sport to do is not to tell you about it. Many a fool, after putting his foot in it, isn't satisfied until he gets there with both feet. Marriageable couples are fond of star gazing because they are properly equipped for it. When a candidate places himself in the hands of his friends they massage his pocketbook freely. Now and then you will find that the shyest girl gets tangled up in the boldest love affair. If women were unable to see the fine clothes other women wear they would have fewer wrinkles. When you pick up a pretty girl's handkerchief it is permissible to wonder how she came to drop it. When a married man walks into a public place looking mad enough to bite a nail in two. and growls to those who speak to him, old maids who happen to be present shake hands with themselves. They have nothing like that coming home noon and evenings. Why, Indeed? Doctor Do you suffer from headaches? Patient Certainly I suffer. If I enjoyed them I wouldn't have consulted you. Unpoetic. Tom Do you know I envy the birds? Bess Yes; they're so gay and free fly here and " v Tom Yes, and have only one bill the year round. How Could He Tell? Head of FirmHow long do you want to be away on your wedding trip? Hawkins (timidly) Well, sir er what would you say? Head of Firm How do I know? I haven't seen the bride. Easily Detected. "Smith could uever misrepresent his goods, for such a trick could be easily seen through." "What kinds of goods does he sell?" "Window glass."

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MRS. KIESO SICK SEVEN MONTHS Restored to Health by Lydia & Pinkham's Vegetable Compound. Aurora.. 111. 'Tor seven long month I suffered from a female trouble, -with

severe pinna in my back and sides until I became so weak I could hardly walk from chair to chair, and got to nervoui I would jump at the slightest noUe. I was entirely unfit to do my housework, I was giving up hope of ever being well, when my sister asked me to try Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound. I took six bottles and today I am a healthy woman able to do my own housework. I wish every suffering woman would try Lydia E. Pinkham a Vegetable Compound, and find out for themselves how good it is." Mrs. Cam A. Ejeso, 596 North Ave., Aurora, III. The great number of unsolicited testimonials on file at the Pinkham Laboratory, many of which are from time to time published by permission, are Eroof of the value of Lydia E. Pink am'a Vegetable Compound, in the treatment of female ills. Every ailing woman in the United States is cordially invited to write to the Lydia E. Pinkham Medicine Co. (confidential), Lynn, Mass., for special advice. It is free, will bring you health and may save your life. Not Necessarily. "They must have led a hollow life, they must." , j "Who must?" "Those cavemen." CUTICURA COMPLEXIONS Are Usually Remarkably Soft and Clear Trial Free. Make Cuticura Soap your every-day toilet Soap, and assist it now and then as needed by touches of Cuticura Ointment to soften, soothe and heal. Nothing better to make the complexion clear, scalp free from dandruff and hands soft and white. Free sample each by mail with Book. Address postcard, Cuticura, Dept. Lg Boston, Sqld everywhere. Adv. , 1 i Pershing's Paymaster. In o those out-of-the-way army posts where the outside world seems all too remote, Word that General Pershing was to lead an 'expedition to France set the post buzzing with gossip and speculation, says th New York Evening Post. "Now that's something like," said one officer. "I'd give anything to go with Pershing." "Why not write and tell him so?" suggested a young lieutenant. "What! Me?" came the reply. "Why, I'm only a paymaster." "And a mighty good paymaster," insisted the other. And so a letter was duly forwarded to General Pershing by the paymaster who wanted to serve under htm in France. Two days later a telegram arrived at the post for the paymaster. It read: "You're it. Pershing." It's not all red tape in the army. Congratulations. "I'm afraid my speech was not much of a success." "Why," exclaimed Senator Sorghum, "I have called to congratulate you." "People either went to sleep or walked out of the hall." "Yes. But nobody threw anything at you." Aggravating the Fault. "When I say a thing I mean it!" exclaimed the emphatic man. "But sometimes," replied Miss Cayenne, "that only makes it worse!" Instant Postum A table drink that has taken the place of coffee in thousands of American homes. There's a Reason" Delightful flavor Rich aroma Healthful Economical Sold by grocers everywhere.

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