Jasper Weekly Courier, Volume 59, Number 35, Jasper, Dubois County, 4 May 1917 — Page 2

i 1 51 5ft: Th j Double Plot ft: m SS; I By Alvah Jordan Garth (Copyright, 1917, by W. G. Chapman.) "You poor, dear simpleton!" chided, yet sympathized, Mrs. Roscoe Delevan. "But but I love him sol" Arline Bortelle ended her words in contrite sobs. "Don't cry, little Woman," pursued her senior by ten years. "You've made a muddle of it, but who wouldn't, under the circumstances? I have something to tell you that will cheer you up and mend up things famously." This had happened: Victor Martin nd Arline had been engaged. Someone hrid led Arline to believe that while she was away from Brookville on a visit, her fiance had been the life of several social occasions. The imputation was that Victor had flirted outrageously, whereas in truth and verity, the big-hearted young fellow had simply acted out his royally friendly nature of trying to make everybody around him happy. Nevertheless, when Arline had returned to Brookville she had met her lover with a gloomy and suspicious heart. There had been a spat, minus an explanation. Victor left her feeling abused. Arline nursed her unjust anger, sent him back the engagement ring, and the happiness of two tender souls was abruptly shattered. Only temporarily, however, for very soon Arline decided, that she could not llve without Victor. And he a friend gave hlra some advice which the tormented Victor proceeded to accept. "See here, Martin, it's sheer nonsense for you two to think of breaking away. Why, you were made for one another. It's tantrums, and you want to give Miss Spiteful a lesson." "Don't you malign the darling of my heart !" menaced Victor ardently. "Nothing of the sort, only I went all through your ordeal ten years ago, Stood Rooted to the Spot. and know what I'm talking about." "And you suggest?" voi.ced Victor hopelesslj "Arouse her jealousy." Now Victor had no suspicion that this element lay at the root of the whole misunderstanding. "Arline is above such petty sentiment," he declared. "Suppose so. Arouse it In her, feed the fire. Trust me let her hear you, or, better still, see you in the company of some other girl a few times. She'll send for you all broken up, believe me." "But I don't want to get entangled with another girl," voiced Victor feebly. "Don't need to. I've got it all thought out. I'm courting a .modest, demure young lassie who lives in Newton. She'll help us out. Look here, next week there's, the town carnival. Instead of moping, be gay. Hire an automobile, trim it up and get into the night parade with ray accomplice by your side. Miss Bortelle will be in evidence at the public square. I'll arrange everything and post you as to the details. Will you do it?" "Think it will work?" 'All right," acquiesced Victor, but in the lost tone of a despairing mortal. Meantime, a circumstance of which Victor wap totally ignorant, had provided new food for the flames of Arline's already aroused jealousy. It came about through Arline's learning that Victor was visiting someone in a neighboring village three times a week, and had been seen driven to and from the depot by Mrs. Delevan, whose husband was an Invalid. Arline was in torture. She was driven to visit this Mrs. Delevan. Unexpected Intelligence was the outcome. For the lady in question received her as she would an own daughter, quickly gteaneu from Arline precisely what was in her mind and told her she had never met Mr. Martin except incidentally, and had driven to the depot in the family automobile because their chaufeur was absent on a vacation.

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"My dear child," she said, "Mr. Martin is an architect, as you know, and my husband Is a contractor. He was taken 111 and needed someone to look after his outside affairs, and tills Mr. Martin has been doing It for him. And you have allowed causeless jealousy to separate you and rack your fond heart. Ah me ! we must mend that, little one." And it was after comforting Arline in the kindest, most motherly way In the world, that Mrs. Delevan proceeded to whisper in her ear some intelligence that lifted Arline to the clouds in ecstacy, for the information indubitably proved that Victor Martin was as true as steel and longed for a reconciliation. "I am going to tell you that Mr. Martin has made a confidant of my husband, just as you have made one of me," said Mrs. Delevan. "I overheard them talking about something that will Interest you, and you must act about it just as you feel inclined." Forthwith, the lady proceeded to outline the plot of Victor to arouse her jealousy. Victor had given names, dates, details of the plan his friend had suggested to him. Arline left the Delevan house with the happiest gleam in her eyes that had been there for many days. The night of the carnival arrived. Victor Martin drove hijs automobile to the depot to meet a certain Miss Dolly Brock, the fiancee of his friend, who was to parade herself with him to arouse the jealousy of Arline. He wTas to know her by the color of her dress. A tall graceful young lady alighted from the train. She was veiled, the hue of her apparel accorded with the directions given to Victor. He bowed courteously and she distantly. "You are doing me an unusual favor," was all that Victor said, as she got into the machine, and she only nodded. Victor joined in the parade. Then he several times lined the curb where the crowds were. He did not catch sight of Arline anywhere amidst the throng, but of course, she was there, he reasoned. He felt rather ashamed as he reflected over his paltry expedient. "I will take you to the train," he advised his silent companion as the parade was over and past. "We have an hour before the train leaves, however, and you may enjoy a spin around the lake." Ten minutes later, just after they had passed the beach hotel, the machine broke down. Victor went to the hotel to telephone the garage. Soon the relief auto arrived. "I will get you to the depot Miss Brock," he said. "I would prefer to walk. We might miss the train," came the low murmured response. It was clear moonlight and a brisk breeze was blowing. "Oh, dear!" suddenly uttered "Miss Dolly Block," and Victor Martin stood rooted to the spot, staring wildly. For the fluttering veil had blown free of the face of Arline Bortelle t She was smiling, but in a half dubious sort of way. Then, almost hysterically, she answered him as she asked him what it all meant. And she told him that "all the world loves a lover," and that Mrs. Delevan and Miss Dolly Brock had sympathizingly aided her in acting the young lacy from Newton. "I have acted like a silly child l" sobbed forth Arline. "And I like a heartless despot !" declared Victor, and then, reaching the kindly shadows of a giant oak, they kissed and made up for good.

SHE JUST WANTED TO KNOW Little Girl's Curiosity Was Only Natural, and Her Action Was to Be Expected. One Sunday morning in the Brooklyn Tabernacle, while Doctor Talmage was in the midst of an interesting sermon and the eyes of the great congregation were riveted upon him, and the stillness of death pervaded the huge edifice, an exceedingly comical incident occurred. Down in the center of the church, almost crowded out of sight by her older neighbors, sat a black-eyed miss of six years. Directly in front loomed' the bald head of an aged man. While the little girl was looking at the shining pate with curiosity, a comman housefly circled around and lighted on the head. It stood motionless for a second and then moved softly ! over the smooth and shiny surface. The aged gentleman was deeply engrossed in Doctor Talmage's sermon, and for a while evinced no uneasiness from the ticklish manners t the little insect. All the while the child's eyes followed the movements of the fly. She was deeply interested, and looked around to see if somebody else wasn't enjoying the scene. Suddenly the old gentleman's arm shot up, and came down with a resounding whack upon his cranium. The little one behind had been waiting for this, and, sliding out of her seat before her mother could check her, she placed her chubby little hands on the old gentleman's shoulders, and, peering over into his face, unmindful of the time and place, asked with much animation : "Did 'oo kill it?" Philadelphia Press. Had Six Fingers and Toes. The first person with six fingers and six toes ever seen at the local immigration station has been discovered In the person of Sabino Preciosi, an Italian, who arrived here the other day. Technically he is abnormal, in view of the government experts, but If he is found to be physically sound may be allowed to land in this country. Boaton Journal

THE SEVEN AGES OF A CONGRESSMAN

By, JOHN A. CORWIN, Member Gridiron Club, Washington, D. C.

The Gridiron club of Washington, D. C, Is composed of the Washington correspondents of the big American newspapers and nowspaper organizations. Twice each year they give elaborate dinners at which a very large number of the prominent men of the nation are the guests of members of the club. Included in these guests are the president and vice president, members of the cabinet and the Supreme court, diplomatic representatives of foreign governments, many senators and congressmen, prominent army and navy officers and others from all parts of the country who are prominent in financial, industrial, commercial and professional lines. These dinners are numbered among the "real" events of the winter season at the national capital, and invitation to one of them is highly prized. The members of the club provide an entertainment of jests and jokes and caricatures, many of which are at the expense of prominent guests, but all of which are taken in the spirit in which they are offnred, and are never Intended to be offensive. A rule of the club prevents the printing of anything any guest may say at one of these dinners, but it is permissible to print anything any member of the club may say or do as a part of the program provided by the club. One of the many appreciated features of the program of the last dinner was the following poem prepared and recited by Mr. John A. Corwin, entitled, "The Seven Ages of a Congressman." It will be appreciated by every reader of this paper, as it was by every guest at the dinner: ALL the world of pontic's a stage, And all the men therein are merely players: They have their exits and their entrances; And one man in his time plays many parts. His acts being seven ages. At first the infant, Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms, The chief contestant in the baby show At county fair. Then country school teacher. In winter term at fifteen plunks per month And boarding round; with Blackstone under arm, Dog-eared, well thumbed, and frowsy morning face. Creeping like snail unwillingly to school, "Whereat he flogs unmercifully the boys And kisses the more comely bigger girls To's heart's content. AND then, scant twenty-three, A licensed member of the county bar, Prosecuting attorney by the people's choice, A standing menace and a holy terror To horse and chicken thieves; the mortal foe Of those who sell Intoxicants or sack In violation of the law; his stipend being Two hundred bucks a year, and fees derived From fines imposed on the unfortunate: And many are the fines he doth contrive To have imposed, and swiftly doth collect On penalty of jail. BEHOLD him now At twenty-six part owner of tho sheet That issues weekly in his native toww. Hub-deep in politics, sudden in quarrel, Boosting the bubble reputation oi the burg In season and in out; teacher of Bible class. An officer of Epworth and Chautauqua Leagues, President of county fair, and orator At all old settlers' picnics; mayor of the town. No salary attached, but great emoluments In increased practice and his business grows And eke doth flourish like a green bay horse. AT thirty-five He's in the Senate of his native State And president pro tern thereof; chairman Of the Judiciary, with membership upon Committees such as Railroads, Agriculture, , Municipal corporations, License, Education, And of the little select committee of seven "Which meets in quiet every Tuesday night To try the rights of property; twenty-five-cent chips, With every pot a 3ack, rudels round for fours. And consolation purse of dollar ante To finish all. THE sixth age shifts Not into lean and slippered pantaloon But into Congress in a long-tailed coat Our hero finds himself the chairman now Of Ventilation and Acoustics, and his clerk, At $5 per day, is son of manager Who swings his district; his daughter, son. Perchance Iiis wife, his private secretary; With stationery and mileage well conserved. He lives within his means term after term; Fills in Chautauquas at $100 per. The morals of the District of Columbia regulates. And moves from stuffy flat to roomy house: And so he plays his part. LAST scene of all That ends this strange eventful history, Behold the Senator, with eye severe, In fair round belly with good canvasback And Cuvce Brut well lined Now getting his; Living upon a fashionable street Some Observations. Having the right of way is no excuse for fool' driving. When a man talks about being confined all day In a stuffy office and a woman tells of being cooped all day In a two-by-four house both are bluffing. It was fortunate for mother that guaranteed socks and moving picture theaters came in at the same time. Ma always suspects the motives of pa when he gets .into his dress suit willingly. Loyalty can't he bought but It won't exist forever on indifferent appreciation.

In gorgeous palace, with big limousine. While he retains back home a modest house For voting purposes; a few productive farms In native county, and a block of stock In National Bank, a traction line or two, A safe deposit box with bonds well stuffed; He holds the world by its constructive tail, His appetite both keen and amply satisfled; Full joyously he cometh to the Gridiron feast And stoweth away his share of terrapin Sans care, sans hate, sans grouch, sans everything.

ö o ö Q'ö"ö"ö"o"QmrQ"roc'Qo"ö6"ö"o"5' 0 g Eliminate. By GEORGE MATTHEW ADAMS.3 sLg P 9 Q Q Q Q QJLEJLEQQ Q Q 0 0 0 0 0 0 0.03 One of the greatest gifts of use in the bringing on of success is the abil ity to Eliminate. The ability to Eliminate every thought, habit, action that does not contribute and construct toward some useful purpose. Carry no Dead Wood. The soldier entering upon his long campaign straps to his back nothing but the lightest equipmentyet he carries everything necessary and every article figures 100 per cent Efficient. Garry no Dead Wood. Why fume and fret and fuss over little annoyances? They are not worth it. Eliminate them. OLen step ahead and t you will be surprised at your increased agility through lighter equipment. Carry no Dead Wood. Here are a few things to Eliminate today Time Wasting, Bitter Words, Worry over things that never happen, useless spending of Money, the memory of Unintentional Mistakes. Carry no Dead Wood. Hints for the Housekeeper. When eggs are high, chopped suet can be sprinkled on top of puddings containing milk, and they will be rich and creamy. To remove spots from the handles of Ivory knives dip a chamois skin in water and then in powdered pumice and rub the spots vigorously. If apples are cored before paring, tUey will keep their shape better. If a little cold water is added to yaffle batter and thoroughly beaten, the waffles will be lighter and will brown more easily. Delicious flavoring can be made by soaking the grated rind of an orange for a few hours in a few teaspoonfuls of orange juice. A foot-power can opener for restaurants cuts the entire top from a can as a pedal is pressed.

The Cat a Birdcatcher in Ancient Times

By E. H. The ancients recognized the cat as a destroyer of birds. If we may judge from pictorial representations on the buildings, tombs and monuments of the ancient Egyptians, the principal early use made of the animal was as a killer and retriever of birds. To the ancient Egyptians, birds (except the sacred ibis and the hawk) meant ust so much meat. Apparently these people were able to utilize the bird catchThe Cat as a Bird Killer. (From an ancient Egyptian painting at Thebes. ing propensities of the cat, and to train her even to enter the water and catch or retrieve waterfowl. In the Egyptian gallery of the British museum ther is a painting of a man in a boat engaged in throwing a crooked instrument like a boomerang at a flock of birds, and on the same tablet a cat much like our common striped tabby, (the word tabby does not refer to the sex of the cat but to Its markings,, which resemble those on watered silk) but with longer legs and

Mother's Cook Book

Let us question the thinkers and doers. And hear what they honestly say, And you'll find they believe, like bold v.ooers In "where there's a will, there's a way." The Delicious Pineapple. Delightful dishes of pineapple may be enjoyed the year around as the canned variety is always available and lends itself to many combinations. A pretty salad just now, when cress is at its best, is this: Make a nest of crisp green cress, lay on each a ring of pineapple and In the center place a small ball of seasoned cream cheese. Serve with French dressing. The combination of pineapple, orange, banana and mashmallows all cut In small pieces and served with a boiled dressing, using two tablespoonfuls of the dressing to half a cupful of slightly sweetened whipped cream, makes a most pleasing salad. Pineapple Bavarian Cream. . Scald a pint of milk, add three tigg yolks mixed with half a cupful of sugar, cook until it thickens, add a quarter of a box of gelatin soaked in one-quarter of a cupful of water. When dissolved strain and cool, then add half a can of shredded pinapple and a half pint of cream whipped. Turn into a mold and chill by placing the mold In a pan of crushed ice. When ready to serve turn out on a plate and garnish with pieces of preserved pineapple. As a filling for cake, finely chopped and mixed with either boiled frosting or with sweetened whipped cream, pineapple is a most enjoyable combination. Waffles served with a pineapple sirup thick with the fruit is a most delicious dish, worthy of any occasion. Pineapple Bomb Glace. Line an ice cream mold one-half inch thick with ice cream, fill the center with sweetened chopped pineapple to which has been added to juice of a lemon. Cover with ice cream, pack in Ice and salt after covering with oiled paper before putting on the lid. Harlequin Cup. Place shredded pineapple in sherbet cups, then a layer of chopped almonds that have been blanched, and a few quartered marshmallowTs. Place a spoonful of sweetened whipped cream and a maraschino cherry on top. A Delicious Dessert. A most delicious dessert is made by using angel food cut in squares, cover with a tablespoonful of pineapple juice and some of the shredded fruit as preserves, top all with whipped cream sweetened and flavored. Buying at Home. A surgeon in a Western town, engaged to perform an operation of minor character upon a somewhat unsophisticated patient, asked him if he were willing to have only a local anesthetic. "Sure," replied the other, "I believe in patronizing home industry whenever you can." FORBUSH. tail, is represented as seizing a duck by one wing, while she has a shorttailed bird like a quail and another apparently a songbird, under her feet. In such situations puss often appears on the monuments of the middle empire, but so far as I can learn she is not represented as catching mice or rats. Diodorus tells of a mountain In Numidia inhabited by a "commonwealth" of cats, so that no bird ever ventured to nest in its woods. No remains of cats were found in Pompeii or Herculaneum, but in the museum at Naples are some mosaics that came from Pompeii which show that cats' were known there, as they are represented as attacking or killing birds. A writer who lived from 527 to 565, in the reign of Justinian, has left two epigrams in which he scores a cat for tearing off the head of a tame partridge. A, celebrated ancient poem bewailing the cat's destructive proclivities is the "Anathema Maranatha," by John Skelton, in the "Boke of Phylyp Sparrowe," in which he calls down upon the whole race of cats the vengeance of the gods, mankind and the monsters of all creation in punishment for the killing of a pet bird. The poem begins: ' That vengeance I aske and crye By way of exclamacyon, On all the whole nacyon Of cattes, wild and tame. God send them sorrowe and shame That cat especyally That slew so cruelly My lytell pretty sparrowe That I, bought up at Carowe. He devotes this cruel "catte" to the tender mercies of the lions, leopards, "dragones," the formidable "mantycory of the mountaynes," and hopes that "the greedy gripes might tare out all thy trypes," and so on. The little bird's mistress also joins In the denunciation. She wails: Those vylanous false cattes Were made for myse and rattes. And not for byrdes smalle.

WOMAN SICK

TWO YEARS Could Do No Work. Now Strong as a Man. Chicago,. III. "For about two yeara I suffered from a female trouble o I was unable to walk or do any of my own work. 1 read about Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound in the newspapers and determined to try it. It brought almost immediate relief. My weakness has entirely disappeared and I never nad better health. I weigh 165 pounds and am as strong as a man. I think money is well spent which purchases Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound. ' 'Mrs. Jos. O'Bryan, 1755 Newport Ave., Chicago, 111. The success of Lydia E. Pinkham'i Vegetable Compouna, made from rootsand herbs, is unparalleled. It may be used with perfect confidence by women, who suffer from displacements, inflammation, ulceration, irregularities, periodic pains, backache, bearing down feeling, flatulency, indigestion, dizziness, and nervous prostration. Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound is the standard remedy for female ills. Sailors Need More Air. The broad ocean is supposed to beabout the likeliest place on earth to find fresh air, yet Dr. R. C. Uolcomb, a naval surgeon who has been investigating conditions on shipboard, says that because more men per cubic foot of habitable air, space are to be found in the navy than in almost any other occupation, there Is Insufllclcnt airspace in the sleeping quarters, exposure to extremes of temperature, and irregular sleeping hours, which condition, with the possibility of accidents during storms, may lead to an undue prevalence of injuries, diseases of the respiratory organs and other maladies. FRUIT LAXATIVE FORJi CHILD "California Syrup of Figs" can't; harm tender stomach, liver and bowels. Every mother realizes, after giving her children "California Syrup of Figs" that this is their ideal laxative, because they love its pleasant taste and it thoroughly cleanses the tender little stomach, liver and bowels without griping. m When cross, irritable, feverish, or breath is bad, stomach sour, look at the tongue, mother! If coated, give a teaspoonful of this harmless "fruit laxative," and in a few hours all the foul, constipated waste, sour bile and undigested food passes out of the bowels, and you have a well, playful child again. When its little system is full of cold, throat sore, has stomach-ache, diarrhoea, indigestion, colic remember, a good "inside cleaning" should always be the first treatment given. Millions of mothers keep "California Syrup of Figs" handy; they know a teaspoonful today saves a sick child tomorrow. Ask at the store for a 50cent bottle of "California Syrup of Figs," which has directions for babies, children of aK ages and grown-up printed on the bottle. Adv. Process of Elimination. The portly man with the appetite to match, surveyed with astonishment the tray of dishes the waiter had brought. "George," he said, "how could you remember all these things I ordered?" "Dat was easy, sah. I done tole de chef dere wuz a man outside wanted everythin' on de bill 'cep de olives." RED FACES AND RED HANDS Soothed and Healed by Cuticura Sample Each Free by Mail. Treatment for the face: On rising and retiring smear affected parts with Cuticura Ointment. Then wash off with Cuticura Soap and hot water. For the hands: Soak them in a hot lather of Cuticura Soap. Dry, and rub in Cuticura Ointment. Free sample each by mall with Book. Address postcard, Cuticura, Dept. LT Boston. Sold everywhere. Adv. Caution. "You are not making as many speeches as usual." "I'm not feeling oratorical at present,"' replied Senator Sorghum. "The folks out home are differing on several questions so violently that I don't know which side to agree with." To Drive Out Milarii And Build Up The System Take the Old Standard GROVE'S' TASTELESS chill TONIC. You know what you are taking, as the formula is printed on every label, showing it is Quinine and Iron in a tastelesc form. The Quinine drives out malaria, the Iroa builds up the system. 50 cents. When a woman marries for spite Rhe gets it. When Vour Eyes Need Care Try Murine Eye Remedy No Smarting Jost ye Comfort. W eeats I DrogclsM or mal. Write tor Fr 7 Heek. MUKINK EYK KJMfJCDY CO., CHICAGO