Jasper Weekly Courier, Volume 59, Number 3, Jasper, Dubois County, 22 September 1916 — Page 3

Domestic Diplomacy

Mrs. John Brown, n friend of Henrietta's, says that when she married, John allowed her to select everything for the new home with the exception of the kitchen stove. "A man knows better how to select that than a woman," said he. Manlike, he bought the biggest range and the highest priced one on the market The wife was very proud of the stove, but did have spells of wishing that the kitchen was larger or the stove smaller, so that each would not be so conscious of the other's presence. The first few years they moved about considerably, as is the way with newly weds, and the bugbear of moving yvfis always the stove. Finally, wife coaxed round a bit and suggested that they sell it and get a smaller one, and hubby acquiesced. In a week or two, wife had found a purchaser in a woman who lived In the second-story apartment next door. "When the wagon came to take the stove away, they had an awful time to get It out of the kitchen, and the wife breathed a big sigh of relief when she saw it well out of the yard and on its way up the stairs of the next-door apartment. A few minutes later she looked out, and to her horror A FEW SMILES Alas, Too True. brisk business is 'being done selling Imitation diplomas for .$3 each to persons who don't have time to go to college." , "Even if that is true, the possessors of imitation diplomas are vastly outnumbered by persons who have genuine diplomas and bogus educations." A Real Hardship. "I went to a summer hotel which advertised all modern conveniences." "Well?" "The first day I was there I wanted to write to ray wife to keep a promise, you know." "And there was no stationery?" "Plenty of it, but I had to go outside the hotel and look around for half an hour before I found a plaoe where souvenir postcards were sold." In No Hurry. "See thati ia gin w Ith a WT i s t watch?" "Certainly." "I guess she carries it around just to show her contempt for time." "Why so?" "She's been dawdling for an hour over a sandwich and a glass of milk. Mistake Corrected. "I boar your newly married daughter and her husband are going to live with you." "That's a mistake." "A mistake? I heard it from good authority." "A mistake, all the same. They are not going to live with me they are going to live on me." Easily Explained. "Was there ever a case of the office seeking the man" "I ' knew of one." "Give me the particulars." There was no salary attached." A Kindly Deed. "Henry, a poor tramp came to the house this morning with his toes sticking out of his tattered shoes, si I gave him " '"The only extra pair vt shoes I had to my name, and they were as good as new. Woman " "Softly, softly, Henry. Don't lose youröinpor. '"Lot me finish what I was going to say. I gave him a little box of foot powder and he said he would never forgot ray kindness." iMany Slang Terms of Today Taken From the Vocabulary Of Old-Time Seafaring Men A great many people use slanp terms and expressions without knowing their " real meaning or their origin. Ninety-nine people out of every hun"dred, when their health is good, say they are "first rate." Why? "First rate" is a seafaring term and was originally used in the classification of;the old woöden'Ihie of batftleships. "Sailing under false colors" a .term applied to a person who "retonds to be other than he !s is a survival of the same period. This latter expression, like "to throw overboard"- to get rid of something Is obviously nautical; but few people know that "skyscraper" was originally sailors' slang. "Gldse quarters" Is another very

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Mm. Brown Never Did Like That Big Stove, but It Required Some Skill to Get Rid of It.

they were bringing it back down the stairs. "What's the matter?" she called. "We can't get it in, thedoor," said the man, "it will Tiave to be taken up through the window." Wife decided not to show herself again until the stove was well inside the apartment. The next time she peeped out, theyv were operating a pulley device, by which the horse went round and8 the stove went up ; it was already five feet in the air. "Good' thought Mrs. Brown. In a minute or two she again peeped out, and they were still operating the pulley device, but the horse Was going up and the stove down. "Me for action," said Mrs. Brown to herself, and hastily throwing a "few clothes Into a suitcase, she made for the home of her mother, where she and John remained for several days. What the woman in the next apartment said to Mrs. Brown when she got back home would make another Interesting story, but Mrs. Brown only wii)ed the tears away with her apron, and said that it was just nearly breaking her heart to do without that stove ; that' there never was an oven that could bake such good pie, cake, etc. Cleveland Plain Dealer. Japan Sent Us Fragrant Honeysuckle; Now a New Variety Comes From China Years ago Japan senfto this country a vigorous green vine which won favor through its lavish display of fragrant white flowers in late spring. For a time the vine and flowers were kept with the bounds of gardens, lawns and parks. Then it ran away. Today you'll find it roaming along the roadside, climbing stumps, and hedges. It needs no gardener, for it can take care of itself. It's the honeysuckle. The Japanese variety which ran away joined some of its American cousins, who are just as pretty and just as fragrant. There's the coral honeysuckle, for example, a famous porch climber in the southern states, with trumpet-shaped flowers, red outside and scarlet within. In England they have the woodbine, a cream-colored fragrant relative of the honeysuckle. Recently there came a new variety from China, where it was found on the tops of mountains 6,000 feet above the sea. Its foliage is almost evergreen, and the flowers are a reddish bronze. Another variety has red flowers, with yellow and buff markings. There's no need to hunt for the honeysuckle. Its fragrance will announce itself before you're near enough to see it.

Warmest Eulogy Worth Nothing to the Ears Hushed In Death By REV. ADAM J. LOEPPERT of Chicago Many people keep the "alabaster boxes of thciu love and tenderness sealed up until their friends are dead. We must not wait until then, but fill the lives of our friends with sweetness. The kind things you mean to say when they are göHe, say .before they go. The flowers you mean to send to decorate coffins, send to brighten and sweeten their homes before they leave them. If my friends have alabaster ))oxes stored away, full of fragrance, perfumes of sympathy and affection, which they intend to break over my dead body, T would rather they would bring them out in my weary and troubled hours, when life's struggle is on. I would much rather have a plain coffin without a flower, a funeral

! without a eulogy, than a life without the sweetness of love and sympathy. 'The rope must be flung out now while the swimmer can grasp it in Iiis ; despair. The eulogy's blandest breath is worth nothing if we whispered it in ears that are hushed in death.

common expression. This, like "first rate" and its accompanying expressions, "second rate," "third rate" and so on, conies from the days of wooden fighting ships. The "quarters" were protections erected along the bulwarks, behind which sailors could lie low and which were used to help to repel boardr ers. "To sail against, the wind" 'to he very much in the minority and' "to lower your sail" to confess yourself conquered are both terms borrowed from the sea, and the same may be said oC "high and dry" and "laid up" and "spliced," the slang terra for getting' married. When we talk of a person being "knocked Into a cocked hat" we mean that he was limp enough to be doubled up and carried under the arm like the cocked hat of a naval oflicer. And we say that so and so will be "on the rocks" if he does ndt "steer clear" of ihe money lenders. Milwaukee Free Press. One-Third of Indians Left. Detailed studies 'by James Mooney of the bureau of American ethnology lead to the conclusion that the Indian population of America, north of Mexico, at the period of the earliest white settlement, was about 1,140,000, of whom about SGO.000 were within the present limits of the United States. Mr. Mooney estimates that this number has been reduced by about twothirds through disease, famine and war, consequent on the advent of the white man.

STAR OF MOVIES

Edith Storey. Leading woman for E. H. Sothern in his film presentation of "An Enemy to the King." Mother's Cook Book The older I grow the more confident I am tr it thoughts go out like arrows; that mental states permeate the very atmosphere; that men and women are often criminally 'guilty for the mental touch that goes out from them in electric fire to some other. Autobiography of a Happy Woman. Appetizing Apple Dishes. A delicious dish that the cliildren like, and one that the older ones will like to eat in milk, is apple corn bread. Make a johnny cake as usual and stir in a piut of chopped sweet apple. Bake as ordinary corn bread. Apple Puffs. Make the ordinary apple sauce of tart apples, not adding as much sugar as usual. To a quart of the sauce stir in three tablespoonfuls of strawberry jem and with a strong egg-beater beat until stiff, then fill cream puffs with the mixture, place each on a plate and pour around it a soft custard sauce, flavored with almond extract. Apple Cream Pie. Stew a quart of apples till transparent, rub, through a colander, sweeten to taste, add one cupful of cream, flavored with a teaspoon ful of extract of lemon. Line a jie plate with good pie crust, fill with the apple and bake until the pie crust is done. Have reatfy a meringue of whites of two oggs, a pi,nch of salt and three tablespoonfuls of sugar, flayor with a few drops of lemon and spread over the pie. Bake until a light brown. Apple in Caramel. Put a cupful of light brown sugar into a skillet, let the sugar melt, then add a half cupful of boiling water and drop in five cooking apples peeled and halved. Let these stew in the sirup until they are tender, then put them it. a glass dish. In another saucepan have one tablespoonful of butter, melted, add a teaspoonful of flour, mir well and pour over a half cupful of cream. When hot, add to the boiling sirup, stirring briskly for five minutes, then pour over It the apples. Serve either hot or cold. Apple Whip. Grate a large apple, mix with a cupful oi sugar, then beat into an egg white, beating until it stands alone. Serve as dessert with sponge cake. . The Grape Cure. Grapes are advised for the nervous, thin, anemic people whose digestion needs attention. One grape a miivite should be eaten for one hour at a time and repeat the dose several times a day until a cure is effected. Sleep at least eight hours out of everv 24.

Buying $100,000 Worth of Herring in Whispers NBW YORK. The New York herring exchange hasn't any fixed home. One week it may meet on pier 56, North river, and the next week it may foregather under a shed at the foot of West Twenty-fourth street. It all depends upon the herring. Wherever the -ship

ment is landed, there is the exchange. The exchange always follows the herring. The herring exchange makes the quotations for herring in the same way that the stock exchange fixes the quotations for railroad shares and industrials. The herring exchange and a barrel of herring are opened at the same time, and immediately following this double opening, the exchange members

roll up one sleeve, thrust a hand into the open barrel, bring forth a herring and closing the teeth on the dorsal fin pull it off. Then they bite into the fleshy part of the back, and with much smacking of lips gauge its flavor. When a member has tried the flavor of the fish and noted its size and plumpness he .makes a whispered bid very close to the ear of the importers' agent, and the importers' agent makes a whispered reply very close to the ear of the member and a quotation is established. At a recent session 8,000 packages of Scotch herring were on the pier roughly about $300,000 worth. This importation wras of what are known in the trade as niatjes, or soft-cured herring. One package of each lot was opened and sampled.

Policemen of Minneapolis' Provided With Parasols MINNEAPOLIS. Here in Minneapolis the sun has been shining hot, hotter, hottest, during the last days not to speak of other places where it has been hot. And, because of those boasted wide streets of the Mill City, the buildings do not throw so much shade

ru 6E COOKED I

public demonstrations, eleven-tenths of them want to vote. Still, they do not wait for the vote in order to serve their city. They also serve while they stand and wait for the vote. One of these very capable Minneapolis women, Mrs. Horace Lowry, noticed the policemen standing in the sun of the prairie crossings. Straightway, being a woman and being accustomed to the feminine resources whereby life is made happier in such weather as this, Mrs. Lowry remembered parasols. A parasol for the policemen ! Precisely so ! But it's a long way through the Tipperary routine of a meeting of the council and the devising of specifications and the advertising for bids and the manufacturing process. By that time it would be January and there would be no need of parasols. So this benefactress of the guardian race provided parasols herself. To each policeman his parasol.

Many Gotham Nicks in Row Over Nickeled Nick NEW YORK. If Nicholas Xenodociousosis had refrained from giving a nickeled peanut roaster to his nephew, Nicholas Arhagasenas, St. Nicholas avenue would not have resounded with one of the loudest cases ever heard there. Fortunately for Arhagasenas

he was able to prove, through the interpreter, Nicholas Demolaviocolusiones, that the nickel-plated peanut roaster given him by his uncle had no nick in it, while that lost by Nicholas Zacharakes had one. Nicholas Zacharakes one night lost a nickel-plated peanut roaster with a nick in it. Zacharakes, after wringing his hands and the cat's neck, decided to have a day of relaxation far from the

scene of his loss. He stopped for a moment at the peanut stand of Nicholas Cocores. While the contemporary peanut merchants were exchanging a few foreign words Zacharakes gave a scream, pointed to the official peanut roaster af the Cocores store and declared that it was his. Cocores declared he had bought the peanut roaster from Nicholas Basiolocous. Basiolocoüs proved that he had bought the roaster from Nicholas Kashaeneses, who in turn swore that he had bought it from Nicholas Arhagasenas. Arhagasenas told them frankly about the generosity Of his uncle, Nicholas Xenodociousosis, but the other Nicholas laughed a trifle hoarsely. Arhagasenas proved that his uncle did give him a nickel peanut roaster with no nick in it and was straightway discharged. His uncle appeared to corroborate him in the nick of time.

Only Toy of the Eugenic D ENTER. A child is being reared rules have been evolved by those in Never use "baby talk."

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erick only would have stared blankly. He has never heard "baby talk." His mother doesn't permit it. "We use the same words in speaking to Frederick as we would in conversing with educated grown-ups," Mrs. Fish said. Mr. and Mrs. Fish are both eugenists and euthenlsts. A eugenist emphasizes the inheritance; a euthenist the environment. Frederick's environment is carefully studied for him in advance, Mrs. Fish being a leader of the Denver eugenists. The eugenist principle hasn't anything particularly to do with the fact that a cow is Frederick's chief playmate. It happens the cow is Frederick's staff of life and has contributed the milk that has given Frederick rosy cheeks, a "lovely" disposition, fat legs and bright blue eyes. The cow will gently rub its head against the baby's face. When it Is lying down, lazily chewing a cud, Frederick rolls over it and otherwise enjoys himself at the cow's expense. Cherry, the cow, is intensely jealous of the little fellow, manifesting displeasure when anyone pets the child In its presence or attempts to, join in the play.

on the street crossings as is graciously provided in other cities. Policemen who must stand at their posts, at these wide, prairielike crossings, have been compelled, during the hot spell, to stand embroiled in the sun, and take their turn no matter what the thermometer. But the women of Minneapolis are noted for their attention to the public weal. They may not have the vote, but judging from parades and other Baby of Denver Is a Cow. in Denver under eugenic ideas. These charge: Give him no toys. Don't teach him to believe in Santa Claus. Give him a cow to play with. Diet him on cereal, with milk and a tiny bit of sugar and cow's milk. Teach him perfect table manners. Frederick Fish, eighteen months old, Denver's eugenic baby, received a newspaper interviewer. Baby Fish wore becoming pink rompers. If the interviewen had said to Frederick "Is oo a dood boy?" Fred

ask for and Get Skinners THE HIGHEST QUALITY MACARONI 36 Ptg Rtdpt Book Frtt SKINNER MFG. CO.. OMAHA, ULiA, iARGEST MACAXONI FACTOtY IN AMCJUCX

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k use j 'There's Jiiii nr Season