Jasper Weekly Courier, Volume 57, Number 50, Jasper, Dubois County, 17 September 1915 — Page 2

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ff Joel I Randall's I "Gift" By George Elmer Cobb iCopyrujht. l!i. by O I'hupnian.) "He content. Joe! Who could be happier than ourselves?" "Hut budding senlus." "marvelous cop of voice.' "grand delivery, orator leal effect.' Tell you. Nlcv, that show fellow said I was a mixture of Caruso and Patrick Henry." Well even ao. Joel." admitted his wife, with a barely suppressed sun'.e "ifn I leading the choir, being grand master ot your lodge and calling home the cow till the welkin rings enough exercise for your rare gifts ? Cows'" spurted Joel disdainfully "Say, Nancy. you degrade me All right' Wait atid see. I'm ao orator cd I'm going to develop my gift?' "lies bewitched with his own van My." soliloquized Mr Itandall H fully, and surely Joel acted out the part. Various neighbor told of dis covering bim in the. midst of sinie thicket spouting away like a mad at tor. Others reported cnoilug across him behind this ami tl.u ! practicing the gestures that are supposed to emphasize th.- effectively of inborn eloquence "He's got the bug. said old M -Morse, his father-in law, phtlosopl caMy and it'll have to IMa out of his system." "Well. Nancy. ' announced Joel (MM morning a few day i ' i. I m going away for a day or two" Nancy was sorrowful, but nlent. aw.iiticg her husband's further tMMOjBl suspecting that It oai u do with bis newest whim "You see. ever sm that day that the crier at the cm us got a cold and I relieved him at tlx megaphone. I've remembered his words. He said u never heard such a grand vocality. I think he called it. He said I'd be a wonder on the stage or rostrum. I ve been practicing since at od times That circus fellow gave me the ad Spouted Away Like MaJ Actor. dress of a theatrical agent to Plymouth I'm gum. 4 ' ii "Alone. Joel' vntired gentle and politic Nancy. No, Ned Wallace, is going with me to sort of keep mc tympany Nancy's eyes brightened The allusion to Ned give h r a hopvful idea. While Joel was down towu arranging for his trip she sent for Ned "Young man." she raid with n.ock verity, do you know that 1 bold .your fate in my hands'" "If you re ref ri ing to my liking for your pretty sUt-r. Winnie. I guess you're right," admitted Ned meekly "I am. Now then, you are umng the city with Je I If you onus bim ;bsrk cured of his filly. I shall welcome you as a brother inlaw If you don t " "Yes. Mrs Rand vir "I shall put off the engagement for two years." I ll-I ll try." said Ned humbly, b it Joel has got it bad " Prom that moment Ned set his wits at work to accomplish th d-slgn in 'View. On their Journey to the city he did not try to diMonrair Joel Hknew that it would b. of no use Joel s mind was mightily set upon his m i s m 1 1 1 : The- morning aft.r their arrivi! in Plymouth Joel and Ned started out to call upon the theatrical agent, whoa card the circus man hsj given to Joel They located him In an office the walls of which were covered with irtrai's r.f Ma" i t i ' nties, from leading tragedian down to v iw i-v i 1 1 souk and dance favorites Joel stated hi n.i "Ah, I see." bowed the ag"0t, with a twitching mllo al the corner of Lis IIa. "All tight tea dollars, please " For" hesitated Joel. My advue usual fee. Take ten minutes I'm a busy roan All right." said Joel " I'll give you The Koman (Uadiator. tragic, and ing The Miner. deep bass." "Firs away." directed the agent.

throwing nmeJf into a chair, look ing bored Now. Ned had never before witnessed one of tr. -i..i...- t t!,c

i gifted Joel He had heard bim sing ' in the choir and spout election umea, j but this u a star rendition. Joel had some voice in fact, loo I much of It The t'.ladiator be rep-restt.t-,: nail. Nt-d smilt He m.-t have been born with a cold The funny pan of It. however, aas the most excruciatingly funny spectacle Ned had ever come across liven the agent was stimulated He sat up. bis (are aglow with amusement Ned bid behind a screen and held his sides to keep from yelling outright It was the gestures of Joel that were appallingly ridiculous. "In the far east a glow' and he flung his hand to the south Pp acung those holy stars " and bis finger pointed through to China "I am rock-rooted' and be stood limp and awkward. "My tender, gentle love " and he scowled and struck the attitude ot a prize tighter His arms continually swung about like windmills, be glided where he should have lingered, ne w met d. be grimaced, he went bouncing about like a jumping Jack. " There' " be shouted, breathlessly triumphant at the last, what do you think of that "My friend." said the agent, arising, suppressing a smile, ' your forte Is pantomime. You are a w onder as a facial contortu ri st Show in the next client. he ordered to his office boy. "Good day. sir." Joel Randall was scandalized. He fumed, be raved to his companion. Why, the arrogant nonentity V he stormed Does he take me for a Huu.pty Dumpty clown lies jealous of my voice Ned. you re a friend?" "Do you doubt it. Joel? No and 1 hope jou will do some 'h'.ne for me." "And what's that. Ned?" T want you to find me an unprejadiced audience. All strangers, and unprejudiced Let me come upon them unexpectedly. Their verdict shall decide and establish or doom my forensic ability Ah. my chance' " chuckled Ned WalUce jubilantly to himself. Dear Winnie. I ra going to win her. sure." and two days later Ned advised his irlend Joel. Ive arranged it all. At 8:30 this evening you are to go with me to deliver your two special voice features before an audience of lOu people." "Where are they'" questioned JoeL " No no. Joel." chidd Ned playfully "You wanted a strafe audience, you said. Keep it strange to yourself as well I'll guarantee a mrst strange and attentive audience." And that evening the two friends entered a large building and were shown behind the staee. A few minutes later Joel faced a good sized audience He was encouraged as be noted the eager and attentive expresn lo the bright, cheerful faces before him He sang his favorite song first. There was some applause, not much. It was when he began his oration about Th- Gladiator " that many of the audience began to writhe. They uttered no words. They simply smiled, smiled, suii'.ed Theo they writhed. Two of therr. fell over in their seats "Did you see " cried Joe!, as he came back to Ned behind the scenes. "You could haw heard a pin drop Thy were actually hypnotized into attention and appreciation." Ned nodded ami smiled Tben. as they reached their hotel, he let the cat out of the bag "Joel, ' be said, that was the only audience I could arrange for They are inmate of an asy lum " ' What kind ot an asylum' questioned Joel Deaf and dumb." replied Ned. Tt.nse who couldn't hear were so amused with your pantomime that they nearly had fits Those who coud bear, weren t much impressed w un !he big voice, ao Joel flushed. Then be got mad. Then be said something about "an unappreciattve w orld " and vowed ha WO'lld let it go to pot' As to Ned. be took bis friend borne, cured, of his "rare gift," and won a rarer one Winnie' Keep Bnj t or H0 Tongue. Talking too much seems to be a disease With one it takes the form of remini-DOOM M This harmless old soul takes great pleasure in telling about the ole sw-immin hole." the last loggin' bee. " and other events in which ho featured. Another takes It out on the neighbors. He tells you a line of conduct and then tries to get you to declare that it Is shameful. It's all the neighbors, of course Or It's some Invention the fellow has. It's going to revolutionixe things some day He's never tired detailing Its merits Tho only thing wrong with it is that Its not possible of any thine food outside the inventor mind Perhsps it politics The gn-at national problems are i daily by wise ones all over the land. Sometimes it's lov talk. The fellow gets enamored easily, and makes love to every maiden that will listen to him. The result is he says too much and gets into trouble Take counsel and beware of your line of talk What's B ' .s Blood? " She never tires of telling how her ancestors came over in the Mayflower.'" "8till. that sort of story doesn't make much Impression on her rich neighbors, who know that the present generation of the family can't afford to go back to Europe as firstcabin passengers aboard an oceaa liner

Why the Wives of Consuls Are Important Now WASHINGTON Nowadays, before sending anybody out in the diplomatic and consular service, the state department takes especial care to inquire into the antecedents of the wife of the appointee, if he has one. It does not do for an American In the service.

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thought of the man's wife, for to all ar;"arances she seemed as good an American as he. The English government, however, was not so careless and oo sooner had the consul and his vife appeared on English soil than the American government was informed that they were persona non grata on account of the German extraction of the consuls wife There was nothing else to do but to recall them. They were on British soil Just one week. As the compensation for traveling in the consular service is only Ave cents a mile, the journey of this couple has proved quite expensive, to say nothine of the humiliation the incident imposed Meantime the state department has provided a place for the consul in the service :n Washington until an opening shall occur at a post not involved in the war And these are not du many.

Crows Fight Fiercely in White House Grounds A VICIOVS fight between two crows !n the White House grounds attracted such a large crowd that Policeman Gas Schnieder had to interpose and almost club the two birds before he could induce them to break away. One Lad the other by the r.-ck and was

trying to pull his head off when Schraeder stood over the two and flourished his arms and club in such a threatening way that the grip wns released and the two flew off to trees close by. making a terrible clatter about the affair Several families of crows have for years flourished in the White House grounds, but they seem to have formed a combination to keep

other birds out of the good things they enjoy there. According to Schraedr. who is not stuck on rrowa. either, a big male crow from some other reservation ventured rnto the White House grounds and was promptly tackled. He was game. too. and the fight s'arted. Persons passing along b?ran to stop to watch the batt'e. and the crowd grew to large proportions. Teamsters and automobile drivers stopped their vehicle? and joined the throng. Schnieder was some distance away and did not notice what was going cn until the crowd grew rnto large proportions. Then be hustled down to the scene and went for the birds whirb paid no attention to him until he actually stood over them and flourished bis arms In a menacing manner. Oldest employees of the White House grounds, where birds of all kinds make their borne, never saw or heard of such a bloody scrap among feathered fighters Crows are generally credited with being the most cowardly and cautious of all birds, and are easily whipped by a small bee marten, from which they will flee fcr miles if pursued Schnieder has ben much per

turbed over the affair, fearing that it

Moon Myths Shattered by Houston's Department THE department of agriculture has smashed another tradition by declaring that from a scientific standpoint the moon has no more to do with the growing of crops than it has upon the temperature, the amount of rain, the wind, or any other element of weath-

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Tho moon gives no virility to soil, neither does it affect he composition of atmosphere, hence the only remaining way by which it could Influence plant growth is by Its light Experiments have shown that full daylight is about 6Ö0.O09 times blighter than full moonlight, yet when a plant gets oneonehundredth part of normal daylight it thrives little better than In total darkness If one-one hundredth part of normal daylight Is too little to stimulate a plant, the department says that It is certain that one-six-hundredth part would Impart no benefit at all It Is added that It Is a waste of time to think about the men In this connection with the planting of crops, since it has no more to do with this than it has with the building of fences, the time for killing hogs, or any other of the Innumerable things over which it was once supposed to have strong influence.

Music in Canoes Charms M

rSIC hath charms for fish, according to an expert of the bureau of fisheries, and if that is true fishing should be good In the Upper Potomac

this summer. However, the bureau of or player pianos at points along the shore for the benefit of Washington's anglers. If the fish bite better during the summer the fishermen should thank the sentimental young folk, who have discovered a summer substitute for the tango dance hall. They have placed grsphophones In thir canoes, and one strolling along the banks of the river above the Aqueduct bridge these evenings hears soft strains rising here and there on the black surface.

The first news of Pan Cupid's latest Innovation on the water alarmed the hundreds of worm diggers, who have passed the sentimental age and care not for the needs of the "spooners " They began to say one to another: The pesky talking machines will frighten the fish to other waters and our (Vsblne days will be over " But the official of the bureau of fisheries dlsacreed with them when he heard of their pitiful wall, and reassured them, saying "We have found

that soft strains of music on the water do not frighten the flsh. but on the contrary may charm and draw them Bearer" He would not promise that the fishermen s nets would be filled to the breaking point, as told in the bible, but be at least dispelled their fears.

even if his own blood he American

beyond question, to have a wife who oi fnrvin extraction or one or twice removed in- r. iropeau war '.H not tolerate such i ne state aepanmrm was recently taught the lesson through the selection of an American who had passed a splendid examination and who was assigned to an English poet in the consular service. The selection seemed impeccable, but no one is a bad omen of some r. This will be a severe blow to those who have believed that potatoes in order to be a successful crop, should be planted during certain phases cf the moon, or that garden truck flourishes more readily ander moon influence when planted right. The department points out that growth of plants depends upon the amount of food in the soil and in the air that is available for them, and upon temperature. light and moisture Potomac River Fishes fisheries has not Installed brass bands

FLOURISH ONLY IN WOODS H

Untc i in Gardens That Are tns Handiwork of Man. Among the truly wild' lowers, two that ak of mau only to be let alone in their uative fastnesses, are the may Sower, or 'ratMng arbutus, and the twinherry. or partridge berry, the last nan.eil a iu uibt-r of ibe ma Ider fam ily, and a distant relative of the coffee tree. The may Sow er ia wildest and j shyest of all. No more Is the eagle at home in the farmyard or the card I nal in the cage than the may flow er in the garden. the i.nprlMiru'd cardinal pines away and die when the glided bar of a birdcage separate it fjvm its librty. so the may flower ! slekeue and withers away In the gar den The moth mullein for many a year has been a rural mothball. It la a member of the fig wort family. Among Its relatives are the great mullein, the ' blue toad flax, the small snapdragon. 1 1 the turtle-head, the beard-tongue, the monkey -flower, the louaewort and the ' .ow wheat. The country-dwelling' ! housewife uses its leaves in packing . aw ay garments of winter to keep out i the tiny cloth moths of summer. It is : also believed to be a bane to cockroaches. The showy lady's slipper, a shy member of th orchid family, flowering from June to September, never seeks the haunts of man. hut tffea to remove itself as far from their comings and goings as it can. and It sue--Is so well that only the flower lover who is willing to take pains can ajproach its dwelling place. Moreover, tt la so persistent in its efforts to : be let alone that it has come to have tiny gl.tr.d il.-.r hair which contain an oil that is some u hat poisonous to tho human skin, and it is said that a ; number of cases of dermatitis have followed the efforts of flower lovers to I carry It in triumph out of the woods. LEAVE NOTHING FOR ENEMY Soldiers Are Schooled to Become Empert in te Matter of Destroying Weapons of War. Mnitary men are taught how to destroy surplus stores which may bo ; useful to the enemy and which are in danger of capture. It may be necessary to destroy guns to prevent them falling into the hands of the enemy, or to make captured guns useless. If a small , amount of dynamite or other explosive available of course this can be done very effectively If not. the breech of the gun is -'--. d ar.d the hinge-Joints smashed as much as possible with a handspike ; , or pick If there Is time a few ritV .it -."al pe-.r.ts t.f the gun effectively jam the mechanism so as to make It useless V. ith rifles, the hurts are broken off and th barrels destroyed as much M p 1 ' To do this t he titm are well heated over a fire and . smash d np with heavy hammers The army hand hooks lay down that a party of five soldiers should be able to destroy M rlffes an hour. Ammunition is destroyed by ptaemr it in a deep pit and setting it on fire. Telerraph wlrs arw cot up into small pieces and the pedes cut down and broken up Winning Philosophy. White Francis Ouimet s golf wasnt quite so good, or nearly so good as it penerally Is. in the ncnt opvn r-.a-r pntr.ship his rare philosophy was still better than par "I played badly he said, "but I could hav-e played worse Rut that part of it didn't matter 1 had a corking got! time, which is what I play golf for I don't eer want to win another champions!.. p if winning one ia roinir to spcrfl my week. For sometimes you can w in. and sometimes yon can't, but in the end you generally feet what is coming." "When you are at the top of your game, ' added Ouimet. "the game plays itself. And when you are not at the top of your game you are not going to win. and It Is worse than foolish to fret or bother about It. since there Is nothing to be done except to tako what you get" Hobo Among Flowers. The great bindweed, a firstconsln to the morning glory. Is a hobo among flowers It traveled up and down the lanes of world trade for centuries, until it has come to claim most of the northern hemisphere for its sbiding I place. It lores wayside hedges and thickets, where It climbs over everything In its flght for the survival of the fittest; but It knows no Joy great er than getting into a cornfield, where

; it can use the stalks as a nature built trellis for its wanaWings It I flowers from June until September

It keeps solid hours, getting up with the rising sun and going to bed when the sun goes down, except on moon light nights, when it keeps open house j for the benefit of certain moths that are its especial friends. Danger m Wrist Watches Many soldiers In the European ar wear watche on Iber Ml wrists which are frequently hit by the enemy's bullets When a high ower projectile strikes a wstch fairly It shatters it into countless fragments which, when embedded In the bone, as tbejr usually are. urake it Impossible to restore the industrial use of the arm It is expected that the abandonment of wrist watches In the armies will be ordered on this account Pathfinder.

EYE OE SMI

Periscope Believed Brougt, Point of Perfection. Latest Instrument Enables Comr er to Be Practically Sure 1 ntiiu t- m lAjii. . 7 iwireuu mil nejt Stp Ms Would Destro. Everybody knows the simply ctple of the periscope, but Ii aware of the minute r t : tLe ct. list nn Iii. a of the i strument. its delicacy and lag Down in the cunning tower senndarkness. with the thro:, mat hinery and the hush. . the twilight water slipping ,,u. lookout scuttles, tho com:...,: the submarine has been u studying the course of his pre; making calculatlono as to carefully laying his own n.ur-. cordance. Now the time lias to take a chance, for soon the scope splash will be Oboomd, suit in a fusillade of pnjt a twisting, dodging course on to of the cruiser, and the. vould be baffled. The o Ulcer takes bis final o tlon. lays his course, j, -ton. and the circular -frami ; before him is extinguished. Hi viously calculated period ot ning expires If his calculations been correct, and the crui.ser hi cbanM d its coarse or sp-.d h be within torpedo range, w tubes pointing toward the tar... he? The periscope is pointed car in the direction which thouM i the ship, pointed as carefull;. u curately as a gun would be p Ever; thing is in readine.s. :. .-!.:..: :.. uy ine turnip., tubts the second they receive the great cigar-shaped lastte on its way. The commar..Jr pr a button. The hydraulic ; leased. As quickly as a rnttk strikes and withdraws. Ike pari shoots up and down. For a fn of an instant an overw helnungn vision of the enemy ship riash Ilia calculations have been and with the speed of tbougl reaches for the signal button will send the messenger of t on its way. Too bate the lookout and the 9 on the bridge of tho cruiser oh trie rarrow w r. : h marks tne a: of the torpedo through the watei helm is thrown hard, but without Refore the ship answers the I has ended In a resounding against the hull, the explosion I and the work is done. With the dd-style periscope tt tlon would have been irapn granting a sharp lookout bad i . i j . . i i Kepi on ine cr'ii'er. lor ma ouij the captain of the submarine have taken bis observations a . a . a ii ii ca r- m ru in i i i ii a a - c ly near the surface to push the periscope out of the water, and draw it again by diving, a much er process, and one whtrh would given time for the splash to be in which case quick maneuver. --urn 1 ill a M I rr - ill Anatomy of Modern Periscopd the cruiser might have saved it. broadside directed toward the destroyed" the submarine The periscope is the Invention Hollander. Telar van Klv n ' 1859 built a semlsubmerslble N y Amsterdam As his craft was in ed to run low In tho water. condition known as "awash.'' and difficulty of observation, due to washinu across the low conim i- HiAtkml than the On ume .i ::! u u"u -- - scuttles was necessary. Van risked un a contrivance of int mirrors at each end of a long t"H simplest form of periscope, mis tint oiirresafnl hilt tlie of observation was. and pr.v! . , ., .-nUrated a2tl iu i e i u 1 1 il e i ui iiicwi"!'" cate instrument In use today Diverse Emotions. "I've bought an automobile Have you?" Yes Why don't you concr e BBttinsr to hear what ma Is. so I II know whether to lat sympathize " A Contradiction. Here s a srl nt!-t -a color of hair can t turn gray gle night " she s forgotten to have her bottl tiled

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