Jasper Weekly Courier, Volume 57, Number 44, Jasper, Dubois County, 6 August 1915 — Page 2

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loel I Randall's "GifT By George Elmer Cobb V J V 1 ' v !::;: (Copyright. 1915. by W. Q. Ciutpman.) "Be coott'Dt. Joel Who could bo happier than ourselves?'" "Hut budding genius.' "marvelous cope of voice, grand delivt ry, orator leal effect Tell you. Nancy, that show fellow said I was a mixture of Caruso and Patrick Henry." "Well, even no, Joel." admitted his wife, with a barely suppressed Mai "Isn't leading the choir, being grand master nf your lodge and calling home the eowa till the welkin ring enough exercise for your rare gifts'"" "Cows!" spurted h I disdainfully "Say. Nancy, you degrade me All right' Wait and fee. I'm an orator, and I'm going to develop my gift'' "He , he itched with his own vanity." soliloquized Mrs Randall r. pvfl fully, and surely Joel acted out the part. Various m ihbors toid of discovering him in the midst of aome thicket snouting away like a mud actor. Others reported coming a r him behind this and that haystack, practicing the gestures tint are supposed to emphasize the effectivcm .-s of inborn eloquence "Ho"s got the bug.' said old Mr Morae. his father-in-law, philosophi cally. "and it'll have to work out of his system.'' "Well, Nancy." announced Jo one morning a few day later. Tu going away for a day or ij ' Nancy was sorrowful, but silent, awaiting her husbands further words, suspecting tliHt it had something tu do with his newest bim. "You see. ever since that day that the crier at the circus got a cold and I relieved him at the megaphone. I've remembered his words He said ho never heard such a grand vocality, 1 think he called it. Me said I'd b wonder on the stage or rostrum I've been practicing since at odi times That circua fellow gave me the adSpouted Away Like a Mad Actor. dress of a theatrical agent in Plymouth. I'm going tU" bs see them." "Alone. Joel?'" ventured gentle and politic Nancy "No, Ned Wallace is going with me to sort of keep me compauy." Nancy's eyes brightened. The allusion to Ned gave her a hop Tu I idea While Joel was down town arranging for hia trip she sent for Ned. "Young man." she ;aid with mock severity, do you kuow that I bold your fate in my bands'' "If you re referring to my liking for your pretty sister. Winnie. I guess you're right." admitted Ned meekly "I am. Now then, you are going to the city with Joel. If you Dnug him back cured of his folly, I shall welcome you as a brother in law. If you don t " "Yea. Mrs Rand .lP" l shall put off the engagement for two years." I ll I II try hl 1 N-d humbly, "but Joel has got it had " From that moment Ned sot his wits at work to accomplish the design In view. Ot. their Journey to the city Im did not try to discourage Joel. He knew that it would be of no use. Joel's mind whs mightily set upon his mission. The morning after their arrival In Plymouth Joel and Ned started out to call upon the theatrical agent, whose csrd the oircua man had given t Joel They located litm In an office, the w.Ms of which were covered with portraits cf stage celebrities, from lending tragedians down to vaudeville song and dance favorites. Joel stated hi mission 4Ah. I see." bowed the agent, with a twitching smile at the corner of his lips "All tight ten dollars, please "For- r hesitated Joel. My advice usual fo- Take ten minutes I'm a busy man." "All right." said Joel I'll give you The Roman Gladiator, tragic, and ing The Mlnrr,' deep baas." Firs away," directed the agent.

throwing aiuiselt into a chair, look lug bored Now, Ned had never before witnessed one of the specialties of the gifted loel lit had heard him aing iu the t uolr and spout election times, but this was a star rendition. Joel had some voice in fsct. too much of it. The Gladiator" be represented mailt .Ned smile, he must have been hem with a cold The funny part of it. however, was the motu excruciatingly fuuny tpectacls Ned had ever erne across Even the agent was stimulated He sat up. his face aglow with amusement Ned hid behind a screen and held his sides to keep from yelling outright It was the gestures of Joel that were appallingly ridiculous. In the far east a glow " and be flung his hand to the south. Up among those holy stars " and li:s ringer pointed through to China. 1 am rock rooted " and he stood limp and awkward. My tender, gentle love " and be scowled and struck the attitude of a prue fighter His arms continually swung about like wmdmills, he glided where he should have lingered, hs winced, he grimaced, he went bouncing about like a jumping jack.

There'" be shouted, breathlessly triumphant at the last, what do you think of that "My friend,' said the agent, arising, suppressing a smile, "your forte is pantomime. You are a wonder as a facial contortionist. Show in the next client," he ordered to his office boy. "Good day, sir." Joel Handall was scandalized. He fumed, he raved to his companion. "Why, the arrogant nonentity!' he stormed Does he take me tor a H amply Ounipty clown He's jealous of my voice Ned you're a friend?" Io you doubt it. Joel?" Nk and 1 hope you will do something for me." "And hat's that. Ned?" 1 w int you to lind me an unprejudiced audience. All strangers, and unprojodiesd Let me come upon them unexpectedly. Their verdict shall decide and establish or doom my forensic ability." "Ah, my chance"' chuckled Ned Wallace jubilantly to himself. "Dear Winnie. I m going to win her. sure," j and two days later Ned advised his triend. I "Joel, I've arranged it all. At 8:30 this evening you are to go with me ta deliver your two special voice features before an audience of 100 people." "Where are they""' questioned Joel. "No. no. Joel." chlded Ned playfully. You wanted a strange audience, you said. Keep It strange to yourself as well. I'll guarantee a most strange and attentive audience " And that evening the two friend entered a large building and were shown behind th stage. A few minus's later loel faced a good sized audience He was encouraged as he noted the eager and attentive expression In tho bright, cheerful faces before him He sang bis favorite song first There was some applause, not much. It waa when he began his oration about The Gladiator" that many of the audience began to writhe. They uttered no words. They simply smiled, smiled, smiled. Then they writhed. Two of them fell over in their acats. Did you see!" cried Joel, as he came back to Ned behind the scenes. You could have heard a pin drop. They were actually hypnotized into attention and appreciation." Ned nodded and smiled. Then, as they reached their hotel, he let th j cat out of the hag Joel," be ssid, ' that was the only audience I could arrange for They ' are inmates of an asylum " ' What kind of an asylum?" ques tioned !el Deaf and dumb." replied Ned. Those who couldn't hear, were so amused with your pantomime that they uearly had fits Those who could , hear, weren't much impressed with the big voice, so" Joel flushed Then he got mad. Then he said something about an unappreclaf ive world," and vowed ho would let It go to pot' Aa to Ned. he took his friend borne, cured, of bis "rare gift." and won a rarer one Winnie' Keep a 8rid!s on the Tongue. Talking too much seems to be a disease With one It takes the form of reminiscence. This harmless old soul takes great pleasure in telling about tho "ole swimmln' hole," the last "loggin' bee," and other events in which he featured. Another tabes It out on the neighbors. He tells you a tine of conduct nod then tries to get you to declare that it Is shameful. It's all the neighbors, of course Or It's some Invention tbe fellow has. It's going to revolutionize things some day. He's never tired detailing its merits Tho only thing wrong with it Is that it's not possible of anything good outside the inventors mind Perhaps it's politics. The great national problems are settled dally by wise ones all over the land. Sometimes It's love talk. The fellow gets enamored easily, and makes love to every maiden iha' will 1 -!hu t,, him. The result Is he says too much and gets into trouble Take counsel and beware of your line of talk. Whats Blue Blood? "She never tires of telling how her ancestors came over in tbe Mayflower." "Still, that sort of story doesn't make much impression on her rieb neighbors, who know that the present generation of the family can't afford to go back to Europe as first cabin passengers aboard an oceaa liner."

THI '' ' ' hi'"'"1' Ul-r- W'-

Why the Wives of Consuls Are Important Now WASHINGTON Nowadays, before sending anybody out In the diplomatic and conlar service, the state department takes especial care to inquire into the antecedents of the wife of the appointee, if he has one. It does not

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thought of the man's wife, for to all appearances she seemed as good an American as he. The English government, however, was not so careless and no sooner had the consul and his wife appeared on Knglish soil than the American government was informed that they were persona non grata on account of the German extraction of the consul's wife. There was nothing else to do but to recall them. They were on British soil Just one week. As the compensation for traveling In the consular service is only Ave cents a mile, the Journey of this couple has proved quite expensive, to say nothing of the humiliation the incident imposed. Meantime th state department has provided a place for the consul in the service in Washington until an opening shall occur at a post not involved in the war. And these are not now many.

Crows Fight Fiercely in White House Grounds A VICIOUS fight between two crows In the White House grounds attracted auch a large crowd ihat Policeman Ous Schnieder had to interpose and aimost club the two birds before he could induce them to break away. One had the other by the neck and was

trying to pull his head off when Schraeder stood over the two and flourished his arms and club tn such a threatening way that the grip was rel- ased and the two flew off to trees close by, making a terrible clatter about the affair. Several families of crows have for years flourished in the White House grounds, but they seem to have formed a combination to keep

other birds out of the good things they enjoy there. According to Schraeder. who is not stuck on crows, either, a btg male crow from some other reservation ventured into the White House grounds and was promptly tackled. He was game, too. and the fight started. Persons passing along began to stop to watch the battle, and the crowd grew to large proportions. Teamsters and automobile drivers stopped their vehicles and joined the throng Schraeder was some distance away and did not notice what was going on until the crowd grew into large proportions. Thon he hustled down to the scene and went for the birds, which paid no attention to him until lie actually stood over them and flourished his arms m a menacing manner. Oldest employees of the White House grounds, whore birds of all kinds make their home, never saw or heard of such a bloody scrap among feathered fighters. Crows are generally credited with being the most cowardly and cautious of all birds, and are easily whipped by a small bee marten, from which they will flee for miles if pursued. Schraeder has been much perturbed over the affair, fearing that it is a bad omen of some kind.

Moon Myths Shattered by Houston's Department THE department of agriculture has smashed another tradition by declaring that from a scientific standpoint the moon has no more to do with th. growing of crops than It has upon the temperature, the amount of rain, the wind, or any other element of wath-

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The moon gives no virility to soil, neither does it affect the composition of atmosphere, hence the only remaining way by which It could Influence plant growth is by Its light Experiments have shown that full daylight is about 600,000 times brighter than full moonlight, yet when a plant gets one-one-hundredth part of normal daylight It thrives little better than In total darkness. If one-one-hundredth part of normal daylight is too little to stimulate a plant, the department says that it is certain that one-six-hundredth part would Impart no benefit at all It Is added that it is a waste of time to think about the moon In this connection with the planting of crops, since it has no more to do with this than it has with the building of fences, the time for killing hogs, or any other of the Innumerable things over which it was once supposed to have strong influence.

Music in Canoes Charms Potomac River Fishes MUSIC hath charms for fish, according to an expert of the bureau of fisheries, snd if that Is true fishing ahould be good In the Upper Potomac this summer. However, the bureau of fisheries has not Installed brass bands or player pianos at points along the

shore for the benefit of Washington's anglers. If the fish bite better during the summer the fishermen should thank the sentimental young folk, who have discovered a summer substitute for the tango dance hall. They have placed grapbophones In their canoes, and one strolling along the hanks of the river above the Aqueduct bridge these evenings hears soft strains rising here and there on the black surface.

The first news of Pan Cupid's latest Innovation on the water alarmed the hundreds of worm diggers, who have passed the sentimental age and care not for the needs of the "spooners ' They began to say one to another: These pesky talking machines will frighten the fish to other waters and our fishing days w ill be over."' But the official of the bureau of fisheries disagreed with them when he heard of their pitiful wall, and reassured them, saying: "We have found that soft strains of music on the water do not frighten the fish, but on the contrary, may charm and draw them nearer " He would not promise that the fishermen s nets would be filled to the breaking point, as told In the Bible, but he at least dispelled their fears.

do for an American in the sen-ice. even if his own blood be American bevond Question, to have a wife who

l III 1 lllll - i Li bill UT.I . . will not tolerate such. The stale department was recently taught the lesson through the selection of an American who had passed a splendid examination and w ho was assigned to an English post in the consular service. The selection seemed impeccable, but no one er. This will be a severe blow to those who have believed that potatoes in order to be a successful crop, should be planted during certain phases of the moon, or that garden truck flourishes more readily under moon influence when planted right. Thn department points out that growth of plants depends upon the amount of food in the soil and in the air that Is available for them, and upon temperature, light and moisture

FLOURISH ONLY IN WOODS "

Wild Flowers That Refuse to Be Con tenteo in Gardens That Arm the Handiwork of Man. Among the truly wlki ' flowers, two I that ask oi man only to be let alone , In their native fastnesses are the mayflow er. or trailing arbutus, and the ; twinberry, or partridge berry, the la.st ' named a member of the madder fam ' II y. and a distant relative of the coffee tree. The may flow er in wildest and j shyest of all. No more Is the eagle at home in the farmyard or the cardinal in the cage than tho may flow er In the garden. As the imprisoned j cardinal pines away and dies when the gilded bars of a birdcage separate it from its liberty, so the maytlower sickens and withers away in the gar di: The moth mullein for many a year has been a rural mothball. It is a member of the lirwort family. Among its relatives are the great mullein, the blue toad flax, the small snapdragon, the turtle bead, the beard-tongue, the monkey flower, the louse wort and the cow-wheat. The country dwelling housewife uses its leaves in packing away garments of winter to keep out the tiny cloth moths of summer. It Is also believed to bo a bane to cockroaches. The showy lady's slipper, a shy member of the orchid family, flowering from lune to September never seeks the haunts of man. but tries to remove itself as far from their comings and goings as it can, and it succeeds so well that only the flower lover who is willing to take pains can approach its dwelling place. Moreover, it i- so ; raLstent in its efforts to be let alone that it lias come to have tiny glandular hairs which contain an oil that is somewhat poisonous to the human skin, and it is said that a number of cases of dermatitis have followed the efforts of f ower lovers to carry it in triumph cut of the woods. LEAVE NOTHING FOR ENEMY Soldiers Are Schooled to Become Expert in the Matter of Destroying Weapons of War. Military men are taught how to destroy surplus stores which may be useful to the enemy and which ar In danger of capture. It may be necessary to destroy guns to prevnt them falling into the hands of the enemy, or to make captured guns useless. If a mall amount of dynamite or other explosive Is available of course this can be done very effectively If not. th breech of the gnn is closed and the hinge-joints smashed as much as possible with a handspike or pick. If there is time a few rifle shots fired at the vital points of the gun tsfo lively jam the mechanism so as to make it useless. With rifles, the butts are broken off and the barrels destroyed as much as possible. To do this the rifles are well heated over a fire and ! .. w : i heavy hammers. The army hand books lay down that a party of five soldiers should be able to destroy T,0 rifles an hMsT Ammunition is destroyed by placing it in a deep pit and setting it on fire. Telegraph wires are cut up Into small pieces and the poles cut down and broken up. Winning Philosophy. While Francis Ouimet's golf wasn't quite ho good, or nearly so good as it generally Is. In the recent open championship his rare philosophy was still better than par. "I played badly." he said, "but I could have played worse. Put that part of it didn't matter. I had a corking good time, which is what I play golf for. I don't ever want to win another championship if winning one Is going to sp .il my week. For sometimes you can win. and sometimes you can't, but in the end you generally get what is coming." "When you are at the top of your game," added Ouimct, "the game plays itself. And when you are not at the top of your game you are not going to win. and it is worse than foolish to fret or bother about it. since there Is nothing to be done except to take what you get." Hobo Among Flowers. The great bindweed, a first-cousin to the morning glory. Is a hobo among flowers It traveled up and down the lanes of world trade for centuries, until it has come to claim most of tbe northern hemisphere for its abiding place. It loves wayside hedges and thickets, where it climbs over everything In Its fight for the survival of the fittest; but It knows no joy greater than getting into a cornfield, where it can use the stalks as a naturebuilt trellis for its wanderings. It flowers from June until September. It keeps solid hours, getting up with the rising sun snd going to bed when thn sun goes down, except on moonlight nights, when it keeps open house for tho benefit of certain moths that are its especial friends. Danger in Wrist Watches. Many soldiers in the European war wear watches on their left wrists which are frequently hit by the enemy's bullets. When a high iower projectile strikes a watch fairly It shatters It Into countless fragments which, when embedded In the Lone, as they usually are. make it impossible to restore the industrial use of the arm It Is expected that the abandonment of wrist watches in the armies will be ordered od this account. Pathfinder

'EYE OE SUBMAREN

Periscope Believed Brought Point of Perfection. Latest Instrument Enables Com r to Be Practically Sure T Deadly Torpedo Will Reacr Ship He WoJd Destroy. Everybody knows the simpi j clple of the periscope, but aware of the minute refin. i the construction of the p. rf strument, its delicacy and imp own In the conning tower semidarkness, with the thn, machinery and the hushed :iUm the twilight water alippiug ; lookout scuttles, tho commj the submarine has beeu , studying the course of his pn making calculations as to n carefully layiug his own cour-. :, cordance. Now the tim. ami to take & chance, for soon th cope splash will bo obs. r.. suit in a fusillade of proj i a twisting, dodging OMfcM at of the cruiser, and. the subni vould be baffled. The officer takes his final tion, lays hia course, pri .--. , ton, and the circular-frunjed p: before him is extinguished. Hia viously calculated period of Mh ning expires. If his calculation., ., been correct, and the crui.-. changed its course or sp. ei !.. he withia torpedo range, w tubes pointing toward the target he? The periscope i pointed car in the direction which should the ship, pointed as carefully and curateiy as a gun would be petal Everything la in readiness, the c: is standing by the torpedo tub. tho second they receive their the great cigar shaped missile wili on its way. The Commander pros a button. The hydraulic power is leased- As quickly as a rattlesni strikes and withdraws, the perisci shoots up and down. For a fract of an instant an overwhelmingly la vision of the enemy ship flashes His calculations have been Mit and with tho speed of though? reaches for the signal button will send tho ' messenger of dea on its way. Too late the lookout and the offlc on the bridge of the cruiser the furrow which marks the approa of the torpedo through the water 1 helm is thrown hard, but without . Before the ship answers the fur has ended tn a resounding It against the hull, the explosion folio and the work is done. With the old-style periscope this tion would have been imposs: granting a sharp lookout had b kept on the cruiser, for the only 1 the captain of the submarine co have taken his observations wo have been to bring his craft suff.r : ly near the surface to push tbe rl periscope out of the water, and 1 draw It again by diving, a mu er process, and one which would I given time for the splash to be -in which case quick maneuvering Anatomy of Modern Peri. the cruiser might have saved it. an broadside directed towsrd the spH ' destroyed" the submarine. The periscope is the invention o Hollander Telar van Elven. who 1859 built a semisubmersible Amsterdam. As his craft was inte ed to run low In the water, in condition known as "awash." and I difficulty of observation, duo to i washing across the low connin.: some other method than the look scuttles was necessary. Van rigged up a contrivance of mirrors at each end of a long simplest form of periscope. His cf w as not successful, but the instnimof observation was. and pwi forerunner of the complicated l4 ! cafe instrument In use today Diverse Emotions. Tve bought an automobile." "Have you?" "Yes. Why don't yon congTta1, me." Tn waiting to hear wha n Is. so I'll know whether to laugh sympathiie " A Contradiction. "Here"s a scientist says that i eolor of hair can t turn gray in a gle nlgbt." ' Ile a never seen Mayme's c sbe'a forgoltan to have her bottle filled'