Jasper Weekly Courier, Volume 57, Number 43, Jasper, Dubois County, 30 July 1915 — Page 2

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I K :; V K K K M K K K M Joel Randall's "Gift" By George Elmer Cobb V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V" o (Copyright. 1915, by W. G. Chapman.) "Be content, Joel. Who could be happier than ourselves?" "But 'budding genius 'marvelous scope of voice,' 'grand delivery, oratorical effect Tell you, Nancy, that show fellow said I was & mixture of Caruso and Patrick Henry." "Well, even so, Joel' admitted his wife, with a barely suppressed smile, "isn't leading the choir, being grand master of your lodge and calling home the cows till tho welkin rings enough exercise for your rare gifts?" "Cows!" spurted Joel disdainfully. "Say, Nancy, you degrade me. All right! Wait and see. I'm an orator, and I'm going to develop my gift!" "He's bewitched with his own vanity' soliloquized Mrs. Randall regretfully, and surely Joel acted out the part. Various neighbors told of discovering him in the midst of some thicket spouting away like a mad actor. Others reported coming across him behind this and that haystack, practicing the gestures that are supposed to emphasize the effectiveness of inborn eloquence. "He's got the bug," said old Mr. Morse, his father-in-law, philosophically, "and it'll have to work out of his system' "Well, Nancy," announced Joel one morning a few clays later, "I'm going away for a day or two." Nancy was sorrowful, but silent, awaiting her husband's further words, suspecting that it had something to do with his newest whim. "You see, ever since that day that the crier at the circus got a cold and I relieved him at the megaphone, I've remembered his words. He said he never heard such a grand vocality, I think he called it He said I'd be a wonder on the stage or rostrum. I've been practicing since at odd times. That circus fellow gave me the adSpouted Away Like a Mad Actor. dress of a theatrical agent in Plymouth. I'm going there to see them. ' "Alone, Joel?" ventured gentle and Doliti Nancv "No, Ned Wallace is going with me to sort of keep e company." Nancy's eyes brightened. The allusion to Ned gave her a hopeful idea. i tt , ... , i. . . . ... ..... for his trip -she sent for Ne "Young man." she said wi 1jl mock severity, "do you know that I hold your fate in my hands ?" "If you're referring to my liking for your pretty sister. Winnie. I guess you're right," admitted Ned meekly "I am. Now then, you are going to tho city with Joel. If you Dring him hack cured of his folly, i shall wel come you as a brother-in-law. If you don't" "Yes, Mrs. Randall?" "I shall put off the engagement for two years." "I'll I'll try," said Ned humbly, "but Joel has got it bad." : From that moment Ned set his wits at work .to accomplish the design in On their journey to the city .view. he c'id not try to discourage Joel. He 'knew that it would be of no use. Joel's minfl was mightily set upon his mission. Tho morning after their arrival in Plymouth Joel and Ned started out to caii upon the theatrical agent, whose card the circus man had given to Jool. They located him in an office, the walls of which were covered with portraits cE stage celebrities, from leading tragedians down to vaudeville song and dance favorites. Joel stated his mission. Ah, I see," bowed the agent, with a twitching smilo at the corner of his lips. "All ilght ten dollars, please." "For?" hesitated Joel. "My advice usual fee. Take ten minutes. I'm a busy man." "All right," said Joel. "I'll give you 'The Roman Gladiator, tragic, and aing 'The Miner deep bass." "Firs away," directed the agent,

throwing himself into & chair, looking bored. Now, Ned had never before witnessed one of the specialties of the gifted JoeU He had heard him sing in the choir and spout election times, but this was a star rendition. Joel had some voice in fact, too much of it. ' The Gladiator" he represented made Ned smile. He must have been born with a cold. Tho funny part of it, however, was the most excruciatingly funny spectacle Ned had ever come across Even the agent was stimulated. He sat up, his face aglow with amusement. Ned hid behind a screen and held his sides to keep from yelling outright. It was the gestures of Joel that were appallingly ridiculous. "In the far east a glow " and he flung his hand to the south. "Up among those holy stars " and his finger pointed through to China. "I am rock-rooted " and he stood limp and awkward. "My tender, gentle love " and he scowled and struck the attitude of a prize fighter. His arms continually swung about like windmills, he glided

where he shoi. 1 have lingered, he i winced, he grimaced, he went bouncing about like a jumping jack. "There!" he shouted, breathlessly triumphant at the last, "what do you think of that?" "My friend," said ie agent, arising, suppressing a smile, "your forte is pantomime. You are a wonder as a facial contortionist. Show in the next client' he ordered to his oflice boy. "Good day, sir." Joel Randall was scandalized. He fumed, he raved to his companion. "Why, the arrogant nonentity!" he stormed. "Does he take me for a Plumpty Dumpty clown? He's jealous of my voice. Ned, you're a friend?" "Do you doubt it, Joel?" "No. and I hope you will do some thing for me." "And what's that, Ned?" "I want you to find me an unpreju diced audience. All strangers, and unprejudiced. Let me come upon them unexpectedly. Their verdict shall decide and establish or doom my forensic ability." "Ah, my chance!" chuckled Ned Wallace jubilantly to himself. "Dear Winnie, I'm going to win her, sure," and two days later Ned advised his friend. "Joel, I've arranged it all. At 8:30 this evening you are to go with me to deliver your two special voice features before an audience of 100 people." "Where are they?" questioned Joel. "No, no, Joel," chided Ned playfully. "You wanted a strange audience, you said. Keep it strange to yourself as wTell. I'll guarantee a most strange and attentive audience." And that evening the two friends entered a large building and were shown behind the stage. A few minutes later Joel faced a good sized audience. He was encouraged as he noted the eager arid attentive expression in the br.ight, cheerful faces before him. He sang his favorite song first There was some applause, not much. It was when he began his oration about "The Gladiator" that many of the audience began to writhe. They uttered no words. They simply smiled, smiled, smiled. Then they writhed. Two of them fell over in their seats. "Did you see!" cried Joel, as he came back to Ned behind the scenes. "You could have heard a pin drop. They were actually hypnotized into attention and appreciation." Ned nodded and smiled. Then, as they reached their hotel, he let the cat out of the bag. "Joel," he said, "that was the only audience I could arrange for. They are inmates of an asylum." "What kind of an asylum?" quesüod J oeL ... Deaf an dumbreplied Ned "Those who couldn t hear, were so amused with yur pantomime that the' near'y 'Jad Dts- Those wh cou hear weren't much unpressed with tU(J blS voice, so Joe! flushed. Then he got mad. Then he said something: about an unappreciative" world," and vowed he yould let it go to pott As to Ned he took his friend home, cured, of his "rare gift," and won a rarer one Winnie 1 Keep a Bridle on the Tongue. Talking too much seems to be a disease. With one it takes the form of reminiscence. This harmless old soul takes great pleasure in telling about tQe "ole swimmin' hole," the last "loggin' bee," and other events in which he featured. Another takes it out on the neighbors. He tells you a line of conduct and then tries to get you to declare that it is shameful. It's all the neighbors, of course. Or it's some invention the fellow has. It's going to revolutionize things some day. He's nevr. tired detailing its merits. The only thing wrong with it is that it's not possible of anything good outside. the inventor's mind. Perhaps it's politics. The great national problems are settled daily by wise ones all over the land. Sometimes it's love talk. The fellow gets enamored easily, and makes love to every maiden that will listen to : him. The result is he says too much and gets into trouble. Take counsel and beware of your line of- talk. What'-s Blue Blood? . it 'She never tires of telling how her ancestors came over in the Mayflower." "Still, that sort of story doesn't make - much impression on her rich neighbors, who know that the present generation of the family can't afford to go back to Europe as firstcabin passengers aboard an ocean liner."

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Why the Wives of Consuls Are Important Now WASHINGTON. Nowadays, before sending anybody out in the diplomatic and consular service, the state department takes especial care to inquire into the antecedents of the wife of the appointee, if he has one. It does not do for an American in the service,

thought of the man's wife, for to all appearances she seemed as good an American as he. The English government, however, was not so careless and no sooner had the consul and his wife appeared on English soil than the American government was informed that they were persona non grata on account of the German extraction of the consul's wife. There was nothing else to do but to recall them. They were on British soil just one week. As the compensation for traveling in the consular service is only five cents a mile, the journey of this couple has proved quite expensive, to say nothing of the humiliation the incident imposed. Meantime the state department has provided a place for the consul in the service in Washington until an opening shall occur at a post not involved in the war. And these are not now many.

Crows Fight Fiercely in A VICIOUS fight between two crows in such a large crowd that Policeman

almost club the two birds before he could induce them to break away. One had the other by the neck and was

trying to pull his head off when Schraeder stood over the two and flourished his arms and club in such a threatening way that the grip was released and the two flew off to trees close by, making a terrible clatter about the affair. Several families of crows have for years flourished in the White House grounds, but they seem to have formed a combination to keep

other birds out of the good things they enjoy there. According to Schraeder, who is not stuck on crows,

either, a big male crow from some other

House grounds and was promptly tackled. He was game, too, and the fight

started. Persons passing along began to grew to large proportions. Teamsters

vehicles and joined the throng. Schraeder was some distance away and did not notice what' was going on until the crowd grew into large proportions. Then he hustled down to the scene and went for the birds, which paid no

attention to him until he actually stood in a menacing manner.

Oldest employees of the White ?ouse grounds, where birds of all kinds

make their home, never saw or heard ered fighters. Crows are generally and cautious of all birds, and are easily

which they will flee for miles if pursued. Schraeder has been much per

turbed over the affair, fearing that it Moon Myths Shattered

THE department of agriculture has smashed another tradition by declaring that from a scientific standpoint the moon has no more to do with the crowing of crops than it has upon the temperature, the amount of rain, the

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The moon gives no virility to soil, neither does it affect the composition of atmosphere, hence the only remaining way by which it could influence plant

growth is by its light. Experiments

600,000 times brighter than full moonlight, yet when a plant gets one-one-

hundredth part of normal daylight it ness. If one-one-hundredth part of a plant, the department says that it would impart no benefit at all. It is added that it is a wTaste of connection with the planting of crops, than it has with the building of fences, of the innumerable things over wiiich influence.

Music in Canoes Charms Potomac River Fishes MUSIC hath charms for fish, according to an expert of the bureau of fisheries, and if that is true fishing should be good in the Upper Potomac this summer. However, the bureau of fisheries has not installed brass bands or player pianos at points along the

shore for the. benefit of Washington's anglers. If the fish bite better during the summer the fishermen should thank the sentimental young folk, who have discovered a summer substitute for the tango dance hall. They have placed graphophones in their canoes, and one strolling along the banks of the river above the Aque'duct bridge these evenings hears soft strains rising

here and there on the black surface. The first news of Dan Cupid's latest innovation on the water alarmed the hundreds of worm diggers, who have passed the sentimental age and care not for the needs of the "spooners." They began to say qne to another: "These pesky talking machines will frighten the fish to other waters and our fishing days will be over." But the official of the bureau of fisheries disagreed with them when he heard of their pitiful wail, and reassured them, saying: "We have found that soft strains of music on the water do not frighten the fish, but on the contrary, may charm and draw them nearer." He would not promise that the fishermen's nets would be filled to the breaking point, as told in the Bible, but he at least dispelled their fean. v

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even if his own blood be American beyond question, to have a wife who is of foreign extraction or once or twice removed. The European war will not tolerate such. The state department was recently taught the lesson through the selection of an American who had passed a splendid examination and who was assigned to an English post in the consular service. The selection seemed impeccable, but no one 1 White House Grounds the White House grounds attracted Gus Schraeder had to interpose and reservation ventured into the White stop to watch the battle, and the crowd and automobile drivers stopped their over them and flourished his arms of such a bloody scrap among feath credited with being the most cowardly whipped by a small bee marten, from is a bad omen of some kind. by Houston's Department wind, or any other element of weather. This? will be a severe blow to those who have believed that pota toes in order to be a successful crop, should be planted during certain phases of the moon, or that garden truck flourishes more readily under moon influence when planted right. The department points out that growth of plants depends upon the amount of food in the soil and in the air that is available for them, and upon temperature, light and moisture. have shown that full daylight is about thrives little better than in total dark normal daylight is too little to stimulate is certain that one-six-hundredth part time to think about the moon in this since it has no more to do with this the time for killing hogs, or any other it was once supposed to have strong

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FLOURISH ONLY IN WOODS

Wild Flowers That Refuse to Be Con tented in Gardens That Are the Handiwork of Man. Among the truly "wild" flowers, two that ask of man only to be let alone in their native fastnesses are the mayflower, or trailing arbutus, and the twinberry, or partridge berry, the lastnamed a member of the madder family, and a distant relative of the coffee tree. The mayflower is wildest and shyest of all. No more is the eagle at home in the farmyard or the cardinal in the cage than the mayflower in the garden. As the imprisoned cardinal pines away and dies when the gilded bars of a birdcage separate it from its liberty, so the mayflower sickens and withers away in the garden. The moth mullein for many a year has been a rural mothball. It is a member of the figwort family. Among its relatives are tho great mullein, the blue toad-flax, the small snapdragon, the turtle-head, tho beard-tongue, the monkey-flower, the lousewort and the cow-wheat. The country-dwelling housewife uses its leaves in packing away garments of winter to keep out the tiny cloth moths of summer. It is also believed to be a bane to cockroaches. The showy lady's slipper, a shy member of the orchid family, flowering from June to September, never seeks the haunts of man, but tries to remove itself as far from their com ings and goings as it can, and it suc ceeds so well that only the flower lover who is willing to take pains can approach its dwelling place. More over, it is so persistent in its efforts to be let alone that it has come to have tiny glandular hairs which contain an oil that is somewhat poisonous to the human skin, and it is said that a number of cases of dermatitis have followed the efforts of flower lovers to carry it in triumph out of the woods. LEAVE NOTHING FOR ENEMY Soldiers Are Schooled to Become Ex pert in the Matter of Destroying Weapons of War. Military men are taught how to destroy surplus stores which may be useful to the enemy and wrhich are in danger of capture. It may be necessary to destroy guns to prevent them falling into the hands of the enemy, or to make cap tured guns useless. If a small amount of dynamite or other explosive is available of course this can be done very effectively. If not, the breech of the gun is closed and the hinge-joints smashed as much as possible with a handspike or pick. If there is time a few rifle shots fired at the vital points of the gun effectively jam the mechanism so as to make it useless. With rifles, the butts are broken off and the barrels destroyed as much as possible. To do this the rifles - i . . i J are wen neatea over a ure auu smashed up with heavy hammers. The army hand books lay down that a party of five soldiers should be able to destroy 50 rifles an hour. Ammunition is destroyed by plac ing it in a deep pit and setting it on fire. Telegraph wires are cut up into small pieces and the poles cut down and broken up. Winning Philosophy. While Francis Ouimet's golf wasn't quite so good, or nearly so good as it generally is, in the recent open championship his rare philosophy was still better than par. "I played badly," he said, "but I could have played worse. But that part of it didn't matter. I had a corking good time, which is what I play golf for. I don't ever want to win another championship if winning one is going to spoil my week. For sometimes you can win, and sometimes you can't, but in the end you generally get what is coming." "When you are at the top of your game," added Ouimet, "the game plays itself. And when you are not at t:e top of your game you are not go: -g to win, and it is worse than foolish to fret or bother about it, since there is nothing to be done except to take what you get." Hobo Among Flowers. The great bindweed, a first-cousin to the morning glory, is a hobo among flowers. It traveled up and down the lanes of world trade for centuries, until it has come to claim most of the northern hemisphere for its abiding place. It loves wayside hedges and thickets, where it climbs over everything in its fight for the survival of the fittest; but it knows no joy greater than getting into a cornfield, where it can use the stalks as a naturebuilt trellis for its wanderings. It flowers from June until September. It keeps solid hours, getting up with the rising sun and going to bed when the sun goes down, except on moonlight nights, when it keeps open house for the benefit of certain moths that are its especial friends. Danger in Wrist Watches. Many soldiers in the European war wear watches on their left wrists which are frequently hit by the enemy's bullets. When a high-power projectile strikes a watch fairly it shatters it into countless fragments which, when embedded in the bone, as they usually are, make it impossible to restore the industrial use of the arm. It is expected that the abandonment of wrist watches in the armies will be ordered on this account. Pathfinder.

"EYE OF SDHIinr

Periscope Believed Brought to Point of Perfection. Latest Instrument Enables Commandtr to Bm Practically Sur That Deadly Torpedo Will Reach Ship He Would Destroy. Everybody knows th simplt principle of the periscope, but few ara aware of the minute refinements of the construction of the perfected instrument, its delicacy and importance. Down in the conning tower, in tha semidarkness, with the throbbing of machinery and the hushed hum of the twilight water slipping past th lookout scuttles, the commander of the submarine has been carefully studying the course of his prey and making calculations as to its speed, carefully laying his own course in accordance. Now the time has com to take a chance, for soon the periscope splash will be observed, to result in a fusillade of projectiles, and a twisting, dodging course on the part of the cruiser, and the submarine would be baffled. The officer takes his final observation, lays his course, presses a button, and the circular-framed picture before him is extinguished. His previously calculated period of blind running expires. If his calculations have been correct, and the cruiser has not changed its course or speed he should be within torpedo range, with the tubes pointing toward the target. Is he? The periscope is pointed carefully in the direction which should reveal the ship, pointed as carefully and accurately as a gun would be pointed. Everything is in readiness, the crew is standing by the torpedo tubes, and the second they receive their signal the great cigar-shaped missile will b on its way. The commander presses a button. The hydraulic power is released. As quickly as a rattlesnake strikes and withdraws, the periscope shoots up and down. For a fraction of an instant an overwhelmingly large vision of the enemy ship flashes up. His calculations have been correct, and with the speed of thought he reaches for the signal button which will send the "messenger of death" on its wray. Too late the lookout and the officers on the bridge of the cruiser observe the furrow which marks the approach of the torpedo through the water. The helm is thrown hard, but without avail. Before the ship answers the furrow has ended in a resounding thump against the hull, the explosion follows, and the work is done. With the old-stj'le periscope this action would have been impossible, granting a sharp lookout had been kept on the cruiser, for the only way the captain of the submarine could have taken his observations would have been to bring his craft sufficiently near the surface to push the rigid periscope out of the water, and withdraw it again by diving, a much slow er process, and one which would have given time for the splash to be seen, in which case quick maneuvering by Anatomy of Modern Periscope. the cruiser might have saved it, and broadside directed toward the splash "destroyed" the submarine. The periscope is the invention of a Hollander, Telar van Elven, who in 1859 built a semisubmersible boat at Amsterdam. As his craft was intended to run low in the water, in the condition known as "awash," and th difficulty of observation, due to waves washing across the low conning tower some other method than the lookout scuttles was necessary. Van Elven rigged up a contrivance of inclined mirrors at each end of a long tube, th simplest form of periscope. His craft was not successful, but the instrument of observation was, and proved th forerunner of the complicated and delicate instrument in use today. Diverse Emotions. "I've bought an automobile." "Have you?" "Yes. Why don't you congratulate me n "I'm waiting to hear what make it is, so- I'll know whether 'to- laugh or sympathize-" i A Contradiction, "Here's a scientist says that color of hair can't turn aray in a th slngl night." "He's never seen Marine's wbaa she's forgotten to, have hr bottl niled."

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