Jasper Weekly Courier, Volume 54, Number 5, Jasper, Dubois County, 10 November 1911 — Page 1

Vol. 54.

Jasveu, Indiana, Friday, NOVEMBER 10, 1911.

No. 6

Sarcastic. There is a certain Wilmington busiccs3 man, of a rather waggish disposition, who contends fliat his wife has no imagination. At dinner one night he chanced to mention a tragic circumstance ho had read in the evening paper on his way home. A?pas:-enger on a transatlantic steamer had fallen overboard in midoccan, and he had never heen Feen again. "Was lie drownoil?" asked hi wiTe. "Of course not," answered the irropres.il!e hubby, imt he sprained hi ankle, I belicvc.,, Argonaut. : Just Her Habit. A widower wa-; being married for the fourth time rejentiv. During the ceremony one of the guests is surprised to hear violent sobs proceeding from a woman in a corner .of the church. 'Who is that lady who is crying fo bitterly?" Ife asks of the bystanders. "Oh, it's only Martha, our cook' answers one of the bridegroom's children. "She alwavs blubbers when papa gets married!" London Mail. Ought to De Thankful. "'Doctor," growled the patient, "it seems to me that ?500 is a big charge for that operation of mine. It didn't take von over half a minute." "My dear sir," replied the famous . specialist, "in learning to perform that operation in half a minute I have spoiled over eleven pecks of

BHch eyes as yours buecess Mag tzine.

DUttacttou "UKuont a Differ

LOWERING THE DEATH RATE

Figures Show That Fight Against Tu bcrcufoals It Being Waged Successfully.

1 :

Sensitive Golfer (who haa foozledDid you laugh at me, boy? CaddL--No, Fir; I wia laughln at anltherVrrti. Sensitive Golfer And what's funny about him? . Caddie He plays trowf aufu you, elr. Punch.

A Circus Morse in Battle. Colonel Charles Marshal jvho jwas aid-de-camp to General Rc&ert E. Lee ar.d who went through the

Dailies or tne war wr.n ins cmei tbld the following amusing story of his experience with a new horse: His old hore had been shot from under him in the fight of the previous day, and lie had taken possession of an animal that seemed to suit the work. In the battle a few hours later he was riding across a field in which there were numerous ßtumh. Suddenly the performance openfed. The guns roared, and the air vrtLS fdled with smoke and noise. Before Colonel Marshall knew S?hat was happening the horse had Ilia four feet on one of the stumps fitod was cyly dancing in a circle In the meantime the firing was in-

win t i

tiling but comfortable. But the horse kept on as if ho were enjoy-

XDg It.

"It Tvn- not until afterward." said Colonel Marshall, "that I found the horse h;.! belonged to a circus and had been ir.iir.cd to do this net amid the firing of cannon.' Rivr.t AcrC'nvh--hrierds. 'A ne.v bo," 1. : .:5ovcd into the neighborhood. He ws sitting on the line, fence that separated his particular beck yard from the yard pertaining to the next door neighbor and was proceeding to cultivate the acquaintance of tho next door neighbor's boy. I vc gone through grammar cchoch" he 5aid. "I can do every -eum in the mental arithmetic, find I always got a hundred mark in. my History and geography." "Well Responded 'the other boy, thrusting out his lower jaw, iCL can

i - nil u my ears, ana you t:an t. pfcutb-'CnrnionX) t .

U " rr

V"e have the as3uranco of Dr.

Woods Hutchinson, writing in the.

World's Work, that the death rato from tubercu!o3is has declined 10 per cent, in the decade which means a saving of 15,000 to 20,000 lives a year in the United States. The infant mortality rato is falling with equal rapidity, which means annually a saving of 20,000 babies from thoso Ilerods of the twentieth centurythe little fevers of childhood, dirty milk and overcrowding. The death rate in all of our great cities is being' steadily beaten down to a lower and lower level every year. Tho advance cengus reports show a lower national death rate than ever before by nearly 10 per cent. The fitfht against tuberculosis is stead ilv becoming more and more a fight for better housing, more playgrounds, better food and more of it, shorter hours of work, decent and civilized shops, workrooms and factories, higher wago3, better education in the laws of health. We have laid the bugbear of its transmission by meat and milk, and are concentrating our fire upon the place where tho bacillus breeds the infected hcra&o or tenement room. The place where wo look for new cases of tubculosi8 .is in tho same house with tho cjd .ones, o mt break this link in the chain if V we are to wipe out censmnptio pK11 30 to 50 per cent, of the ;lcilH(rel in the tenements living in s;une household with a case of 'iu;.;osis are found to be already infected with the disease.

SOMETfWNG NEW

Yearning For Light. rWI;e:i it comes to consuming ga3 in l.rp: quantities blind people can beat their seeing brethren all hollow Faid an inspector of the gas com pan). "1 know two families where both husband and wife are blind. Kvcrv ict is turned on full tilt in their homes at night and is kept going at that rate clear up to 12 o'clock. Light and darkness are all the Fame to the afllicted ones, hut they insist upon illumination brilliant enough for a reception. And that partiality for light is not a whim peculiar to those two couples. Most blind people feel that way. They demand tne light, and in all private homes and institutions where the blind are cared for the gas bills vouch for the strange fjDev." Exchange. Exasperating. Prom the dark kitchen there emanated a series of thumps and angry exclamation-. Jones was looking for the cat. 'Ta!" called the son from the stairway. "Go to bed and let me alone 1" blurted Jones. "I've just barked mv shins." "Pa!" insisted Tommy after a moment's si 1 once. "Well, what is it ? Didn't I tell you to keep quiet?' "I I didn't hear j'our shins bark." And the ne.t moment Tommy was being pursued by an angry sir with biard hairbrush. Chicago News. tne court raimers. "A movement was on foot for the alliancr of King Charles ,of Württemberg and tho Grand Duchess Olga of Russia," said an artist. "An emissary of tho Russian court came to the young king, laid certain proposals before him and submitted a portrait in oils of the royal lady. King Charles, after a close scrutiny, said:

ffThis portifj t flatters ' over-j

much, ihe ey estate too large and brilliant, the hair too abundant, tho complexion too flowerlike and the neck and arms too beautiful altogether.' " 'But, your majesty, said the astonished Russian, 4you do not know the grand duchess.' "'No, raid the kir.g, 'but I know

court painters.

WflSTEKPlEUE, ANYWAY

Mr.s. Aristocrat Did von hear what Mrs. Xouveau Riehe said to me at the concert this evening? Mrs. Wellborn No, my dear; do tell me all about it, Mrs. Aristocrat Well, &he informed mo that she had decided to have a nom-de-plume in her hat UNIQUE COLLECTION.

Robert Young, ironmonger, Edinburgh, who passed away recently, was known far and wide as a collector of horseshoes. Row upon row, on the walls of his shop, hung shoes dating from the time of the Roman occupation (those having been found in Monmouthshire) down to the present day. Among the latter were

included shoes worn on tho dnv of

Spoke Well of Her. A preacher in the reign of Charles IT. was to receive 10 if in his sermon at the funeral of Mme. Creswell he said nothing but wrell of her. She was rather a bad character and herself had dictated the clause in her will. So, after a general address on mortality, he thus concluded: "Pv the will of a de

ceased sister it is expectedthat I j should mention her and say noth-1 ing but what was well of her. Ali that I shall say of her, therefore, is j this: She was born well, she lived; well, and she died well, for she wa3 ' born with the na'me Creswell, she ' lived in Clerkcnwcll, and she died in'; Bridewell." Minncaoolis Journal. !

Coluiz Him One Detter

"Maud's hair is what you would call Titian; isn't it?' 'Well, Titian or imi-Titian." Didn't Suit Washington. Until tjho early part of the last century Jlilford, Conn., had a house in which Washington was said to have spent a night. It was in 1789, when Washington made a tour of New England. Tradition Eays that there were certain niings about his 6tay at the Milf ord tavern which ho did not enjoy. Tho supper set before him consisted of boiled meat and potatoes. He was not pleased with tho meal and asked' for a bowl of bread and milk. Tho landlord brought the new order and a broken pewter spoon with which to eat it. "Have you no better spoons than this?" asked General Washington. "It's the best I hivo in the houw, eir," replied the host. "Send me the servant," said hia excellency. "Here's 2 shillings. Go to the minister's and borrow a silver spoon ; Tradition doe3 not add whether he got tho spoon or not. Exchange. He Would Get 'Over. 'Ti hes as good as he looks,? gaid IJord Arclne; "he'll do." ' "Thry him, yer honor, thry him," said Delaney confidently. "I've a grand field and plenty o jumps." The colt was saddled, aaa Lord Archie mounted. He first galloped around the field, about twenty acres in extent, and then took him over a couple of hurdles, a wide turf fence and finally a stone wall quite five feet high. King Brian jumped like a stag, he" could go a good pact; and his mouth was perfection. "How about water?" asked hia lordship. "Wather, is it?" said Delaney, with supreme disdain. "Sure, if ye put him at the river Shannon ho wouldn't balk' "Do you think he'd clear it?" "Weil, no, yer honor," replied Delaney thoughtfully. "I wouldn't go as far as that. But, bedad," ho added, with an air of conviction, "what ho didn't jump he'd swim!" London Answers.

A STUDENT JOXE Conspiracy of '3 Hone That Put th: Professfer.ln a Panic Professor Elias Loomi3 for man'. years occupied' the-chair of astrono my at Yale and was tho author of the well known- series of mathematical text books.

Professor Lbomis repeated each year to the junior class a coujse of lectures on physics. The lectures wero illustrated by experiments, and in one on compressed air he explained the principle of the well known air gun. The students of each succeeding class as they entered tho room for this particular lecturo found on the side of the room remote from the platform a small target Alter explaining the -Operation of the -gun Professor Loomis was in tl habit of landing threo' of its projectiles with mathematical accuracy in the center of the bullseye, . The professor was always applauded for this feat, but hi3 grim face, covered by a tightly drawn skin of parchment hue, never showed tho slightest sign of gratification or recognition of any kind. To him it was apparently only a scientific experiment to be exactly demonßtrated. One clas of juniors, however, who had learned of the immemorial incident f rum the then seniors, attempted a lit'tle. experiment of their own,fchc subject being mathematical and scientific kuman nature. Three prufTs from tho air gun, and, although the students sav that tho builseyo was perforated as usual, there was not a sound of applause. Professor Loomis dooked a moment at the class in a startled way, then at -the target,' aä then, with a- degree of emotion he had never before shown, exclaimed: "Didn't it hit? Didn't it hit? Didn't it hit ?" , t,,. A roar of laughter, followed by even more thairtjib usual applause, showed the profesäor that he had not lost his mathematical accuracy. 1 1 Causes of War. The horrorlf the Indian muti

ny will still be remembered, and the cause which led to it is a matter of history. Cartridges greased with cow's fat were served out to the sepoys, who refused to usa them on the ground that tho co?r was a sacred animal. Almost without any warning the terrible massacres followed, whir' v re K avenged al an enoi -v. tufc of live and mo:. " The war which d ' . . . . ; and Prus.-Li with b4 - ' .-:nanated in the Turn. swer a question rs'

In the spring

Sitnplc Remedy. A lady journalist who conducted

la page devoted to feminine interests

was ill, and a male member of tho editorial stalT did duty "as her deputv. lie coon distinguished himself. A correspondent inquired how grcas n:i; ht bo-t bo removed from Foup. lie re;:d it hurriedly, noticing only that it vras an inquiry for the removal of grea-c. This was his answer: "Soak a soft cloth in gasoline and rub gently till the grease ia cradicatcdi"

ettfng Whafs Comin3 to Him.

Oh?-

4 fi

- " r m

Innkeeper That chronic kic!:cr Hölzer Is sitting over there. Walter Yes, sir. Innkeeper See that he gets a bad dinner. He shan't always grumble for nothing. Meiendorf or Blatter.

Pi'ofe.iIonal In night.

i r

the rnro bv such famous dcriv winnor.- as Lord Hosebery's Ladas and Sir James Füllers Kock Sand. Every country in the world, from China to Peru, had been laid under tribute.

LEGISLATORS' PERQUISITES. Spanish deputies, some of whom arc agitating for a salary, already enjoy certain privileges. 'They are entitled to frank their letters and to travel on all tlu? railways in Spain free of charge. Unlike the French deputies, however, they have to pay for refreshments consumed in the chamber, the only article supplied gratuitously being barley sugar. Of this there is an unlimited "upply, and lady visitors to the chamber are always presented with a packet of this delicacy, which Eervea to sweeten thoebates:

X,Y

frS'? xJ! r 'szh V' xmhlryX

7' 1

trians beir.ni

and powerfully. . wanted to kno'w '. this they would gi. . Prussia, thinking it friendly and menacing

brought about the gory campaign. London TH-Bits.

tion,

Tho on. inates eve na is ance nese relig' can take ; man mr. He mav ism täo : them. N

thinks.

the worshi

--ship cf Ancestors. ual force that dom- ' 1 ' of society in - hip. In the Chi- . . : ;') nthfr that v-t- iV-r .". iTKUTient. A v.::y not worship idols. : :s hi- utter skeptie-:-i or f'Tofeij belief in . rc- cares' what he !i::n. however, neglect

') 1hL di;:d and he is

Ths Retcmblance. A promising young merchant recently presented his better half vith a nandsomo piano lamp as a birthday gift. He was much flattered when she told him to give it his narao until he asked lier reasons for so peculiar a proceeding. "Well," eaid she, "you know, dear, it has a good deal of brass about it, it is handsome to look at, requires a good deal of attention, ia remarkablv brilliant, is sometimes unsteady, on its legs, liable to explode wlfen only half full, flares up -occasional!?, is alwavs out at bed-

m0 ' w Itime and is bound to smoke. ,1mdon Tit-Bits. ! Why Ho Bolted. ! At one of the London clubs one 'evening Mr. Montau Williams met Lord . who had just lost his father. The young lord was naturally melancholy, and the lawyer proposed visiting a theater opposite, which proposition was accepted. There was a slight fire in the thea

ter, whereupon the young lord was among the first to bolt, ''like a rabbit' out of the building. Returnirr : ; olv J ,'-!b, Mr. Wil- - ; oung friend Y;iu:i r-. von bolt

i frightened . - iicult mat.xuut oi iaiow that

u: - , ;i occasion if everybody p -i :: i. 1 rushed out a panic would ens . .a very likely fatal conseqac ' Why on earth couldn't viA: . rill, as I did? There wa3 not::'., serious the matter." Upon this, wiili the most patronizing air, the yo.;ng gentleman replied, "Oh, yes, tl:.:t.3 very weil !' yow. but you've not jus succ(-cd? d to a peerage and ;?oooo a year."

th-,-O'J4

7ant CxxU

Dr. tV:,,'VV Vr.v patient stand an

I fj:v'Ä nor from thelooks I'leture. Ilarpcr'

ler:: i V

Dr f V.

Vi.4

Chatty Old Gentleman (as tliey pass Zu asylum We p.'t an excellent view if thf :i?ylmu from th? railway. r Escaped Lunatic Ah. but yo ought o soo ths nilwa from the trrhmV-i

Er.tsrprisc.

. i , , . , . - -

r I

"Sell ye a nice air cushion cheap.Orownlnc's Magazine.

Rcpulccd. The effort to pr-x pastors and church meiner.- to greater effusivei ness in v.elcoming strangers to public services may lead to overdoing hospitality in various ways. One of the ways was revealed to a warm hearted western pastor. Coming ' down from the pulpit after the evening sermon, ho found a stranger in the person of a fair haired Swede and, greeting her with a cordial handclasp, said: 'I am very glad to see you. I want you to feel at home here. Fd like to become acquaint- , ed with yon. If you'll give your ad-

aress, I'll call and see you. "Thank you," she replied, "but I have a'fel iowl" Cqniegpnalist.

relations n:d ti neighbors. Tho " worst iv: ' !.-.it 1 1 : 3 heathen can

hurl ag' one thr t Bneering ancestors.

v::.; . MAI

Christian, and the . ; hiUD lllit, is tllO v!;'.: nt that he has no T.:York Trib-jije.

. !).-. ! I -.':! nsvcry

t V:u oxiL

He .w:;u!.-ed Trouble.

'lud-K-atiOn," Faid the man whe

prom-.

Whoever kuow anything about

the small

firs

the

phi a

nis lirst re .:t r otue. - A p

ofi lot

th6 cla

Tomrav

Ar , i;v1 have against mo?'' Still, he conjo, ma am, replied lommv , , . , after ikspeetin- ihe picture ' M ater ome "fiument that tho "Xot want to be an angel,' Tom- rf TOte a won ' mv!" reproached' the teÄ. "Why ,me ,vantgos over th, nia.vl jjjj doot-n t -nto becauia can L "''Cause I'd hava to, giTO.mp-nm (''h,Va? 103t - ... ;. - .

C3vT panta" caidjmin" .'ud

ana ni pnue in nis . , , , t i ,

. k . o;ki Muu:: mui iu uruucii ui

, i, r , 1 Til 1 - 4'-'.-.

oerp..ii?. ... hoA nnf hrpn nnd rn'Kfniipnt.

ommv rr;--; Sv.r.mw school in , , , . . a 1 . . . . lv -ouId nut reason from the ?nmei

icxuro -

of ltEilV angeU .was before ..,.":.,,,. . ,1. .

55. :;r,l the.-tcacher asked ' " , "r, , . '

if l:c would not like to be f ueicnaam, wnai ev.dence do voa sunnose thev would