Jasper Weekly Courier, Volume 53, Number 12, Jasper, Dubois County, 23 December 1910 — Page 2
Jlohn Henryk Burglar By GEORGE V. HOBART
The country place I had promised Clam J. and which I had borrowed for r day from Bunch, hadn't been so easy to glvo back. Clara J. liked ghosts, and I hadn't been able to stall her with tho baunted-housu yarn. Sho still thought It whs mine. When finally I located Dunch and told him tho bitter truth he actod like a zee-zee boy In a wheel house. Laugh! Say. he Just threw out hla chest and cackled a solo that fairly bit Its way through my anatomy. Every once In a while he'd give me the red-faced glare and snicker, "Oh, you mark! You Clncherlne! You to the seltzer bottle flzz-flzz! Tho only and original wheeze puller, not. You're all right backwards!" Then he'd throw his ears back and let a chortle out of his thlrsKcnser that made the neighborhood Jump sideways and rubbor for a cop. "What are you going to do?" ho asked me presently when hla face grew too tired to hold any more wrinkles. "Give me tho count," 1 sighed; "I'm down and out." "Have you no plan at all?" lnqulrod Bunch. "Plan, nothing," I said; "every time I try to think of a plan rny brain gets bashful and hides. There's nothing In my noddle now but a headnche." "Well," said Bunch. "I'll throw a wire nt my sister and tell her not to move out to Jlgcorsvlllo until day after tomorrow, fn the meantime we'll have to get a crowbar and pry your family circle loose from my premises. Nothing doing In the ghost business, eh?"
t-Mnlnp, Over the Yawning Cllar Trap-Door, I Yelled, "Who's Down Thr?M
"Nothing." I answered, mournfully; "I couldn't coax a shiver." "We-o-o-u-w!" yolled Bunch. "I hare It burglars!" "Burglars!" 1 repeated, mechanically. "Sure! It's a pipe!" Bunch went on with enthusiasm. "You will play Spike Hennessy and I'll be Gumshoe Charlie. We'll dlsguiso ourselves with whiskers and break Into the houso about two o'clock In tho morning. Wo'll arouse tho sleeping inmates, shoot our bulletholders In tho celling once or twice and hand them enough excitement to make them gallop back to town on tho first train. Do you follow me, eh, what?" I sighed and looked as helpless as a nut under the hammer. Bunch laughed again. "Oh, very well," he Bald. "I see I'm tho only life-saver on duty, so I'll do a single specialty and pull you out of tho pickle bottle." I grasped my rescuer's hand and ahook It warmly In silence. "Leave a front window open," Hunch directed, "and somewhere around two o'clock I'll squeeze through. I'll give you an Imitation of the best little amateur cracksman that ever swung a Jimmy. I'll take a late train out and hang around till It's time to ring the curtain up. By the way, are there any revolvers on tho premises?" "Not a gun," I answered, "not even an Ice-pick. Tnclo Peter won't show fight. All he'll show will bo a blonde night-gown rutting across lots to beat the breeze. Aunt Martha will climb to the attic. Clara J will be bimy doing a scream solo, and Tacks will crawl under the bed ani pull the bed after him. There'll bo no Interference, Bunch; It's easy money!" With this complete understanding we parted and I hustled back to Jiggersvllle. About six o'clock Uncle Peter waded Into the Hitting room, flushed and happy as a school boy. "I'vo Just left the garden," he chuckled. "No, you haven't." I Haid, glnnclng at his shoes; "you've brought most of it In here with you." I never touched him. "John," he said, "this country lifo 1 reaL Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man's stomach digust
mince pies how's that 7 Notice the
air out here? How pure and fresh and bracing! You ought to go out and run a mile, John!" "I'd like to run ten miles," I an swered truthfully. "Exercise, that's the essence of life. ray boy!" he continued. "I firmly believe I could run five miles today without straining a muscle. I found a sword hanging on tho wall In the hall today and 1'vo been practising n few swings." A vision of Uncle Peter running a rusty sword into the Interior depart ment of the dligulsed and disgusted Bunch rose before me, but 1 bUw It away with a laugh. "Ho laughs best who laughs In his sleeve," chuckled the old party. "Now that we're out In the country all of us should learn to handle n sword or a pistol. It gives us self-reliance. It's very different from living in the city. I tell you. A tramp In the lockup Is worth two In tho kitchen. 1 shot at a mark for an hour today." "What with?" I gapped. "With n bow and arrow I bought for Tacks yesterday directly I learned we were coming to tho country. I hit the bull's eyo five out of six times. An ounce of prevention Is worth two hundred pounds of policemen, you know. Tacks practised, too, and drove an arrow through a strange man's overalls and was chased half a mile , for his skill In marksmanship; but. as 1 said before, the exercise will do him good." "Where do you keep this bow and arrow?" I Inquired, with a studied assumption of carelessness. Tonight I'll koep It under my pillow. Honl solt qui oncle Pierre, which means evil be to him who monkeyB with Uncle Peter," ho said, solemnly. "Tomorrow I'm going to town to buy a bulldog revolvor, maybe a bulldog and a revolver, for a dog In tho manger Is the noblest Roman of them all." I could seo poor Bunch scooting across tho lawn with a bunch of arrows In his ramparts and Uncle Peter behind, prodding his citadel with a carving knife. I began to get a hunch that our plan of campaign was threatened with an attack of busy Undo Peter, and 1 had Just about decided to remove his door key and lock the old man up in I hla room when Clara J. come In to announce dinner. Aunt Martha and Clara J. had collaborated on tho dinner and It waa a success. I was so nervous I couldn't eat a bite, but I pleaded a toothache, so they all gave me tho sympathetic stare and passed me up. About midnight a dog in tho neighborhood began to hurl forth a scries of the most distressing bow-bows l ever heard. I arose, put up the window and looked out. I saw a tall man with a bunch of whlskors on his face flying across tho lot pursued by a black-and-tan pup, which snapped eagerly at the man's heels and seemed determined to cat him up If over the runner stopped long enough. I felt In my bones that tho one In the load was Hunch, and I sighed deeply and went back to beJ. I must have dropped Into an uneasy sleep for Clara J. was tapping me on the arm when I started up and asked the answer. "There's somebody In the house," i.he whispered, not a bit frightened, to my surprise and dismay. "Maybo it's only the ghost you told us about what a lark!" "Somebody In the house," I muttered, going on the ritago blindly to play my part; "and there Isn't a gun lu the castle." "Yea there Is," she answered Joy fully, I fancied; "mother brought father's revolver over yesterday and made me put It In ray satchel. She said w would feel safer at night with
it In the house. Do let me shoot hin) can aim straight, Indeed i can! Why, John, what makes you tremble o?" "I'm not trembling, )ou goosts!" ( oiarlcd; "I can't find my shoes, that's ill. Doggone If I'm going to live In i Joint llko this with ghosts and burglnrs all over tho place." Just then an iilarming yell ascended from the regions below, followed by n crash and n series of tho most picturesque, sulphur-lined oaths that mortal man ever gnvo vent to. It was Ilunch. His trademark was on every word. I could recognize his brlmstono vocabulary with my eyes shut. But what dire fato had befallen him? Surely, not even an amateur cracksman would glvo himself and tho whole snap away unless the provocation was great. Lights began to appear all over the house. Aunt Martha In a weird makeup come out of her room screaming, "What Is It? What is It?" followed by Uncle Peter and his trusty bow and arrow, Just as I was ready to rush down to Investigate. Tacks came boun.llng up the stairs, two steps at a time, clad only In his nightie. Up the stairs, mind you! The nerve of that kid! "Gi'me tho prize, sister!" he yelled. "I caught the ghost! I caught him!" "What do you mean?" I said, shaking him. Tacks grinned from ear to ear. "You know they's a trap door In tho hall so's to get down to thö co!lar and It ain't finished yet. so this evenlnc
I took the doer tin and lnlil h pnvv nn. per on It no's if the ghost walked on it he'd go through, and he did. und I get the prize, don't I, sister?" I rushed down to the scene of the explosion, followed by mr excited household. Leaning over the yawning cellar trap door I yelled, "Who'r down there ?" "Oh! you go to blazes!" carao bac!; the VOlce Of the rilsrusiPi! Ilnnrh whereupon Aunt Martha almost faint ed, while Uncle Peter loaded his bow and arrow and prepared to sell his life dearly. Grent Scott! what a situation! Tho man who owned the house nursing! Ms bruises In the muddy cellar while the bunch of Interlopers above him ! clamored for his life. While I puzzled mr dizzy thfnk fac l tory for a way out of the dilemma there came a terntic knocn ai u..- uuur and Tacks promptly opened it. j Have you got him? Have you cot him?" Inquired the clonjrated and ! cadaverous specimen of humanity who I ourst Into tho hall and stared at us. "I seen him early this evenlns: a I hanging around these here premises and 1 ups and chases him twlcet. but the skunk outrun me," tho newcomer gurgled, as he excitedly swunn a uoliceman's billy th size of a fenco ran. "Then I seen the lights here- and ?ays 1. 'they has him!" Perduce thai maleyfnctor till I trot him to the lock up," and with this the minion of tho i law rolled up his sleeves and nro 1 pared for action. "I presume you are the chief of no- ! ucer inquired unci Peter, with aa affable smile. "I'm nil the police they Is and mr name Is Harmony DIggs. and they's no buggular llvln can get out'n my clutche oncet I gits these boys on him," the visitor shouted, wavlnc nr antiquated pair of handcuffs excitedlyla the air. "I caught him!" Tacks cried: hr er. ultant toneo when the villace coDncr looked his way; "he's down there." "Down there, eh?" snorted the coun try Sherlock, getting on his knees anl j peering Into the depths, but Just then Bunch handed him a handful of hard mud which located temporarily over Harmony's left eyo and nut hl3 orjtla on the Mink. With the other eye, however. Mr. DIggs caught a cllmnse of a sten-larf. der, which he Immediately lowered through the trap, and drawing a raur dermis looking revolver truni his pocket commanded Bunch to come up or bo shot. Hunch decided to come tin. I didn't hold the watch on him. hut I fiirure It took him about seven sixteenths ot a second to make the decision. As tho criminal slowly cmenred from the cellar the spectators stood back, spellbound and breathless; Aunt Martha with a long tin dipper raised In nn attitude of defense, and Undo Peter with the bow and arrow ready for instant use. Bunch looked at me reproachfully. but never opened his head. Say! If ever there was a dead game sport. Bunch Jefferson Is the answer. He didn't even whimper when tho village Hawkshaw snapped the braceets on his wrist nnd said: "Come on. Mr. Buggular! This here's a flno night's work for everybody In this neighborhood because you've been a iource of pesterment around here for six months. If you don't get ten years, Mr. Buggular. then I ain't no guessmaker. Como along; good-nlcht to you. one and all; thnt there boy that catched this buggular ought to get re warded nice!" "He will be!" I said mentally, as Mr. DIggs led the suffering Bunch away to the bastlle. "I've got to sec that villain landed In a cell," I said to Clara J. ns the door closed on the victor and van quished. "Do, John!" she answered: "but don't be too hard on the poor fellow. You can t tell what temptations may have led him astray. I certnlnly am disappointed, for 1 was sure It wns the gho3t. Anyway, the burglar had whisk? llko tho ghost's, didn't he?" I dldnt uop to reply, but grabbln my coat, rushed away to formulatt some plan to get Bunch out of hook. (Copyright, by O. W. Dllllngh&a CoJ
THRESHING RETURNS FROM WESTERN CANADA.
They Reveal Larger Averages Wheat and Oats Than Anticipated. of The returns from tho grain fields of Westorn Canada as rovoaled by tho work of tho Threshers, show much larger yields than woro expected as tho crop wna ripening. It is n llttlo early yet to give an estimate of the crop as a whole, but lndlvldunl yields Boiccieu irom various points throughout Manitoba. Saskatchewan and Alberta show that tho fanner there as a rulo havo had reason to be thankful over tho results. Excellent yields are reported from many portions of .Manitoba nnd a lnrge district of Saskatchewan hns turned out well, while the cuiurni portion of Alberta Is splendid. There will be shown nt tho land ex position nt SL Louis a sample of tho Marquos wheat a now variety ami one that nppenrs to he well adapted to the soli nnd climate of Western Canada thut yielded 53 bushels to the ncre. The exhibit and statement will be supported by aflldavlts from tho growers. This wheat weighs well and being a hard variety will lliul a ready market at the highest prices obtainable for a first-class article. It la interesting to point out that a Held of one hundred acres of this wheat would give its producers G.300 bushels. Sold at S5 cents a bushel would give him $15 an ncro. Counting all the cost of Interest on land at $20 an acre, getting tho lnnd ready for crop. Seed sowing, harvesting nnd marketing, the entire cost of production would not exceed ?S nn ncre, leaving the handsome net prollt of $37 an acre. Is there any crop that would yield a better return than this, with the same Inbor and Initial expense? Cotton fields will not do It, apple orchards with their great expense of cultivation and the risk to run from tho various enemies of the fruit cannot begin to do iL While what is considered an exceptional case Just now la presented, there is no doubt that this man's experience may be duplicated by others who care to follow his ex ample. As has been said the growing of this wheat Is but in Its Infancy, nnd wheat growing is still largely confined to other older varieties that do not yield as abundantly. Even with these we have records before ua of farmers who bavo grown 40 bushels to the acre., others as. some 30, and others again 25 bushels. Taking even 20 bushels, and some farmers report thnt amount, it is found that the re- , turns from snch a yield would be $17 an acre. This wheat will cost to get ! to market. Including all expenses, about $S an acre, and the farmers I will still have a net profit of about V an acre. Certainly the provinces of Alberta, Saskatchewan and Manitoba are progressing, settlement is Increasing and there Is a general contentment all over the country. Tho social conditions are splendid, the ell- ' mate Is excellent, and there is every condition, to make the settler satisfied. At tiie farming congress, held at Spokane In October, wheat shown by tho Alberta Government, took the silver ! cup, awarded by the Governor of i the State. It completely outclassed all other speclmeaa- oa exhibition, nnd rt was bat as ordinary selection, kundreda of fields la Alberta and Saskatchewan, being able to duplicate it. There are stiTl available thousands of homesteads, as well as large areas of flrst-class land that Is being offered for sate at low prices. The agent of the Canadian Government from whom the above facts have been learned expects that the rnsh to Canada will next year largely exceed the numbers who have gone this voar. Sense of Taste. From a series of experiments ie centlv made at the University of Kan Fas it is evident that the average per- I eon can taste tho hitter nf milnlnn I when one part Is dissolved In 52.000 rarta of water. Salt was detected in water when one part to CIO of the liquid was used. Sugar could be tasted in 228 parts of water and common rotln in IS. In nearly all cases women could detect a smaller quantity than men. Russia's Growing Population. This year's census of the Russian empire adds nnother (Ivo millions tr the population as enumerated In 1008. The czar's subjects now number 1C0,000.0UO and Increase every jeur by 2,500,000 despite wars, epidemics and internal disturbances. Aa thero is no inck of cultivated soll In Russin there seems no reason why thin big annual lncrcnse should not continue. Fulfillment. "Two Rrent desires of my life havo been gratified. One was to go up in on airship.' "And tho other?" "To got safely back to earth." Dr. Pierre' Teilet-, small, ujnr-contcd. eny to tnke nn candy, regulate nnd inviorste atoinnch, liver and imwels and eure constination. Many a woman Ib single from cholro tho choice mndo by a man whu choso another. No matter how lortR your neck may Im how norn vour throat. Hrtmlin Wizard or Oil will euro it urely nnd ouickly. U drive out nil sorencas and inflammation. Tho Irl In tho silk stockings never Bets her sklrta muddy. Freah nupply Mm. Austin Famous Tancake Hour. Now at your Kroccri, Pcoplo avoid him because they art afraid of hli tongue.
I MS)
ALCOMOL-3 PER CENT Vegetable Preparation for Assimilating Ihe Food and Regulating me Stomachs and Bowels of Ul VI :: Promotes Dicslion.ChccrfuIncss and Rest Contains neither ! Opium.Morphine nor Mineral Not Narcotic Wjw fOU DrSAMVSimVXE 6r Sr-nm - A"n SfJ Jii Cerium USttln Wuhrjfim Vrtrer t. 51 A perfect Remedy forConslifxv t i on , S o u r 5 to mach , Di a rrhoca, LOSS OF SLEEP L.VC, Facsimile Signature of lv. Tire Cental'k Company. NEW YORK ! iv Guaranteed under f he FoodarK, Exact Copy of Wrapper. MaCkn tw mm ftncfjr MEDICAL COh
MICA
TOO BAD. Mr. Knockerr llaiT llttlo faith frt tho curative properties, a your medicine. The Agenb But It cured jxnrT Mr. Knocker Yes. of even the Uttle faith I had in, iL Docs Your Cat Cough? Poor pussy! As If tho luimemariar charges against her of keeping us nwako o' nights and of eating canarybirds whenever nue Rets the chance ?ere not enosb, the doctors have uvrf niuai ior yearn ne ua been responsible for the spread of , dlphthetrla. Dr. G. J. Awburn of j Manchester. Rnplnnd, havlnp traced , an epidemic of this disease In a suburb of that city to a pot cat belonRinß ' to one of bis patients, has found, after j much cler Investition, that nil cats are peculiarly susceptible to diphtheritic affections of the throat. He has therefore recently been warning nil families who own cats to watch them carefully, nnd, If they de- f velop coughs, to forbid their being 1 htigBed and petted. Dr. Awburn furthcr recommends thnt If tho cough persists nnd the cat begins to grow thin to hnvo tho anlmnl destroyed at onre. The only really safe way, he Bays. Is to let tho first wheeze bo pussy's death warrant. row Which Is the Star? "We are thinking of putting an electric sign over tho church." "It might be a good Idea." "Hut there are factlona. We can't decide whether to fcaturo the minister or the soprano of the choir. Asking Too Much. "The count has promised that he will never heat or kick me If I will marry him," Rnld tho beautiful heiress. "Hut has he promised to work for you?" her father asked. "Oh, papa, don't bo unreasonable." Mr. AVlnatowa Montlilnp Hjmp. forehitu.rii l"-ti..tiu, hrt, n i n iiiiis, nuucrtln twauiaUoujillATixin.ouiuiuUcv)lia. Xxm üuiuj. It's a pity that more sermons arc not ns deep as they are long. Frwh supply Mrs. Autina Uuckwhcnt 1-lotir at all toecra. Famous HoumntiiH luib G,üuu,Ut)i) inhabitants, of whom 30,000 arc blind.
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For Infants and Children. The Kind You Havo Always Bought Thirty Years Tmi ecNTAun pr, ntw voaa orrr.
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KaiiiunnxH umwrrrr. imm eec known rormarr o 'iL .On LotUa c-nanotml toeureoorcan. (Oo an" II a I t M.-3 ttOdoaa of drngfc-tjt aul karuww doffra. or rx-n t ririrw l- vr 7) manafaetarvrs. Cut ibowa now to poultlr throat, u r HI BnokltirtTaTorrtMnr. lnlMnUulL brintHi ai hor nmvif In eiUUmcw twlra Tira.
hctarUfahti, Goshen, Ind., U.S.A. AXLE GREASE Keeps the spindle bright and free from Rrit. Try a box. Sold by dealers everywhere. STANDARD GIL CO. Uacui-;uratHl RAW FURS THE 9UES7 FUR HOUSE IN AMERICA. josephDllmann, 18-20-22 West 20th Street, Kcw York Urioeii rttbllbmvni nrl.-r HA ML v MF at liEll'.IC, LONDON. lAltlH, (J-trciaax tJiSlaixl t Ott) Burins aal intrc nrpfwnW"' i i" mtxrtnt r"ur Markrtn of tt World. .! -'af fcU axtlctir wlier Nt rmult -t s alii ua to pay hiclat luarLrt irt H f r raw fan at an tlnm. Our Saw Pnr Quotation. BWprlns Tajri. rte . will nt fo any alJr- o imiu-" rufrrrnrrs: Jkuj JtVrrantUr Ajrrni y or Hank. mist woman this papcr when answering. Bad BLOOD "Before I began asing Cascarets I had bad coraplexicn, pimples on my face, ml my food was not digested as it should have been. Now I am entirely well, and the pimples have all disappeared from my face. I can truthfully say that CascareU are jnst as advertised; I have taken only two boxrs of tli cm." Clareuce R- Griffin, Sheridan, Ind. FTefiRWJt. Palatable. Potttit. Taste pood. Do Gcot. Sew SIckcnAVeaken or Grip. 10s. 2Sc 50c. Nevrr ol! In bulk. The emuln tabtft stamps! C C C. Guaranteed I to cure or your money back. Rich and Costly Furs COSTLY FTTRS come from YOOIt part of tbe COUNTRY. Ship ti.rm to th- EE' T FÜR UAKKET and BIGHT FUR Ht l 'K By thlpplnir DIRECT to ui you rrcelvefar better PRICES than you Lave obtalnrirlie where, betauic we tll dlrrrt to manufai tut of HIGH GRADE FURS. A trial ahlpmenl will CONVINCE ycu A ape tally arrancfd pries Hit f" Territory will be mailed upon tequeit. We pay all exprriuce, chatte no commlitlotu, and remit promptly. LEOPOLD GASSNER FUR CO. SI Ral 180 St. Capital- t?cn fWWl 00 New York City IteJ ! Z50,0WJ.UO i , VA7nn.MIQQICQIDDI UA I ! FY t IHLUU ITIIÜÜIÜOII I I IMUUUi rtDIlO nr-thTlclirtlniulHinrnrtli r " rAnlYltS KU buHlM-ln of wrnor 1 bnl stnplc Cotton ter nrrc It-i ' M to JT ru r". Hell for 2H up per nrr Improved for iphn Wrltr fur pru- lint mi'I bi k let mi YAZOO MISSISSIPPI VAI.I.KY TURMAGE & ARCHER Moorhoail, Sunflower County, Miss. (AUFORNIA, DoKt Exist. rilBV'RE WORKINQ IN SUNSHINE. Srnd ulrfrrMon poatal and receWe dcMrnptlte l,r!: tureFre. Sf ml $1.00 and we write a tm'i lettrranawerlnir yotirqueatfonaaUuit wrrV aril, rmflta. etc. California Information Duroau, Ltd., t!5 B Delta, UUlg., UxAntrlca, CaliMni. Tho Now, IVHrat. Faaclnntlnir Fn-neh Prrforn w nari m A plntln and lattltiit "' ' kI!I'II.1i Heml tue ana jo r 1m; HAT Mr"0. COM Wfl Fulton Street, Jlrookljn, rat "raTSi'u1"-1'1'- i 1 Ml lall I Um relereuuui. rwouu. I AHrf ro vcrrtv How to crt rich. l'fV11 LUULi '' Uilal.iKiiefrr. FA IHK sd I" 1'I.V COMI'A.N V, llox 3, u so, .V 1.
hi ' aa me nemo QJL0 to remember ml rvhen you need a remedy Z00for COUCH und COLDt
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