Jasper Weekly Courier, Volume 53, Number 11, Jasper, Dubois County, 16 December 1910 — Page 6

iTohn HenrJ J Burglar By GEORGE V. riuBART

The country place I had promised Clam J. and which I had borrowed (or a day from Bunch, hadn't been so etsy to give back. Clara J. liked ghosts, and I hadn't been able to stall her with the haunted-house yarn. She tili thought It was mine. When finally I located Bunch and told him the bitter truth he acted like a zee-zee hoy In a wheel bouse. La ugh f Say. he Just threw out his chest and cackled a solo that fairly bit Its war through my anatomy. Erery once in a while he'd give me the red-faced slare and snicker. "Oh, you mark! You Cincaerlne! You to the seiner bottle fiii-flxz! The only and original wheeze puller, not You're all right backwards!" Then he'd throw bis ears back and let a chortle out of bis thirst -teaser that made the neighborhood jMiap sideways and rubber far a cop. "What are you going to do?" he asked roe presently when his face pew too tired to bold any more wrinkles. "Give sue the count." I slgaed ; "I'm down and out." "Have you no plan at all?" Inquired Bunch. "Plan. nothing. I said: "erery time I try to think of a plan ray brain gets bashful and hides. There's nothing in my noddle now but a headache." "Well." said Bunch. "I'll throw a wire at my slater and tell ber not to more out to Jlggersvllle until day after tomorrow. In the meantime we'll have to get a crowbar and pry your family circle loose from my premises. Nothing doing In the ghost business, ehr

Leaning Over the Yawning Cellar Trap-Door, I Yelled, "Who's Down There!"

"Nothing," I answered, mournfully; "I couldn't coax a shiver." "We-o-o-u-w!" yelled Bunch. "I have It burglars! "Burglars! I repeated, mechanically. "Sure! It's a pipe!" Bunch went oa with enthusiasm. "You will play Spike Hennessy and I'll be Gumshoe Charlie. We'll disguise ourselves with whiskers and break into the bouse about two o'clock in the morning. We'll arouse the sleeping Inmates, shoot our bulletholders In the celling once or twice and hand them enough excitement to make them gallop back to town on the first train. Do you follow me. eh, what?" I sighed and looked as helpless as a nut under the hammer. Bunch laughed again. "Oh. very well. he said. "1 see I'm the only life-saver on duty, so I'll do a single specialty and pull you out of the pickle bottle" I grasped my rescuer's hand and shook It warmly in silence. "Leave a front window open." Bunch directed, "and somewhere around two o'clock 111 squeeze through. I'll give you an Imitation of the best little amateur cracksman that ever swung a Jimmy. I'll take a late train out and hang around till It's time to ring the curtain up. By the way. are there any revolvers on the premises?" "Not a gun." I answered, "not even an Ice-pkk- Uncle Peter oat show fight. All he'll show will be a blonde night-gown cutting across lots to beat the breeze Aunt Martha will climb to the attic. Clara J will be busy doing a scream solo, and Tacks will crawl under the bed an-1 pull the bed after him. There'll be no Interference, Bunch: It s easy money! With this complete understanding we parted and I hustled back to JlggersTllle. About six o'clock Uncle Peter waded Into the sitting room, flushed and happy as a school boy. Tre Just loft the garden." he chuckled. "No. you haven't," I said, glancing at his shoes; "you've brought moat f It In here with you." I never touched him. "John," he said, "this country life I great. Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man's stomach dlguat

mince pies how's that? Notice the air out here? How pure and fresh and bracing? You ought to go out and run a mile, John!" "I'd like to run ten miles." I an swered truthfully. "Exercise, that's the essence of life, ray boy!" he continued. "I firmly beHere I could run five miles today without straining a muscle. I found a sword hanging on the wall in the hall today and I've been practising a few swings." A vision of Uncle Peter running a rusty sword into the Interior department of the disguised and disgusted Dunch rose before me. but I bliw It away with a laugh. "He laughs best who laughs in his sleeve." chuckled the old party. "Now that we're out In the country all of us should learn to handle a sword or a pistol. It gives us self-reliance. It's very different from living in the city. I tell you. A tramp in the lockup is worth two In the kitchen. I shot at a mark for an hour today." "What with?" I gasped. "With a bow and arrow I bought for Tacks yesterday directly I learned wo were coming to the country. I hit the bull's eye five out of six times An ounce of prevention Is worth two hundred pounds of policemen, you know. Tacks practised, too. and drove an arrow through a strange man's overalls and was chased half a mile for his skill In marksmanship; but. as I said before, the exercise will do him good." "Where do you keep this bow and arrow?" I Inquired, with a studied assumption of carelessness.

"Tonight I'll keep It under my pillow. Honl soil qui oncle Pierre, which means evil be to him who monkeys with Uncle Peter," he said, solemnly. "Tomorrow I'm going to town to buy a bulldog revolver, maybe a bulldog and a revolver, for a dog In the manger is the noblest Roman of them all." I could see poor Bunch scooting across the lawn with a bunch of arrows In his ramparts and Uncle Peter behind, prodding his citadel with a carving knife. I began to get a hunch that our plan of campaign was threatened with an attack of busy Uncle Peter, and 1 had just about decided to remove his door key and lock the old man up In his room when Clara J. come in to announce dinner. Aunt Martha and Clara J. had collaborated on the dinner and It was a success. I was so nerrous I couldn't eat a bite, but I pleaded a toothache, so they all gave me the sympathetic stare and passed me up. About midnight a dog In the neigh borhood began to hurl forth a scries of the most distressing bow-bows I ever heard. I arose, put up the window and looked out. I saw a tall man with a bunch of whiskers on his face flying across the lot pursued by a black and tan pup, which snapped eagerly at the man's heels and seemed determined to cat him up If ever the runner stopped long enough. I felt In my bones that the one in the lead was Bunch, and I B'ghed deep ly and went back to bed. 1 must have dropped Into an uneasy steep for Clara J. was tapping me on the arm when I started up and asked the answer. "There's somebody In the house. she whispered, not a bit frightened, to my surprise and dismay. "Maybe It's only the ghost you told us about what a lark!" "Somebody In the house" I miit tered. going on the stage blindly to play my part: "and there Isn't a gun in tne castle. "Yes there Is." she answered inv fully, I farcied; "mother brought father's revolr-r over yesterday and made me put it la ray satchel. She said we would feel safer at night with

it In tho house. Do let me shoot him can aim straight, indeed i can! Why, John, what makes you tremble so?" I'm not trembling, you goose!" I narted. "1 can't find my shoes, that's ill Doggone if I'm going to live in i Joint like this with ghosts acd burglars all over the place." Just then an alarming yell ascended from the regions below, followed by a crash and a series of the roost picturesque, sulphur-lined oaths that mortal man ever gave vent to. It was Dunch. His trademark was on every word. I could recognize his brimstone vocabulary with my eyes shut. But what dire fate had befallen him? Surely, not even an amateur

cracksman would gve himself and the whole snap away unless the provoca tlon was great. ! Lights began to appear all over the 1 house. Aunt Martha In a weird makeup come out of her room screaming, , 'What Is it? What is it?" followed by Uncle Peter and his trusty bow and arrow, j Just as I was ready to rush down to investigate. Tacks came bounllng up the stairs, two steps at a time, clad 1 only In his nightie. j Up the stairs, mind you! Tho nerve ' of that kid! ! "Gt'me the prize, sister!" he yelled. "I caught the ghost! I caught him!" i "What do you mean?" I said, sha-i king him. j Tacks grinned from oar to ear. I "You know they's a trap door In the j hall so's to get down to the co'.lar and . It ain't finished yet, so this evening I took the door up and laid heavy paper on it so's if the ghost walked on it he'd go through, and he did. and I get the prize, don't I. sister?" j I rushed down to the scene of the ' explosion, followed by my excited household. t Leaning over the yawning cellar trap door I yelled, "Who's down i there?" j "Oh! you go to blazes!" camo bac!: ; the voice of the disgusted Bunch, i whereupon Aunt Martha almost faint- j ed. while Uncle Peter loaded his bow 1 and arrow and prepared to sell his life dearly. Great Scott! what a situation Tho man who owned the house nursing his bruises in the muddy cellar while the bunch of Interlopers above him clamored for hfs life. While 1 puzzled my dizzy thlnk-fac-tory for a way out of the dilemma there came a temnc kuoc at mt uour t and Tacks promptly opened it. j "Have you got him? Have you got hlmT' inquired the elongated and j cadaverous specimen of humanity who burst into the hall and stared at us. "I seen him early this evening a banging around these here premises , and I ups and chases hint twjeet. but j the skunk outrun me." the newcomer gurgled, as he excitedly swung a policeman's billy the size of a fence rail. "Then I seen the lights here and i fays I. 'they has him! Perduce tho maleyfactor till I trot hlra to the lock i up."' and with this the minion of the ! law rolled up his sleeves and propared for action. "I presume you are the chief of po-1 lice?" Inquired Uncle Peter, with aa affable smile. "I'm all the police they is and my name Is Harmony Diggs. and they's no buggular llvln" can get out'n my clutches encet 1 gits these boys on ' him." the visitor shouted, waving an antiquated pair of handcuffs excitedly In the air. "I caught him!" Tacks cried In ex- i nltant tones when the village copper ! looked his way; "he's down there." "Down there, eh?" snorted the conn- , try Sherlock, getting on his knees an J j peering Into the depths, but Just then ' Bnncb handed him a handful of bard ' mud which located temporarily over i Harmony's left eye and put his optic ' on the blink. With the other eye. however. Mr. 1 Diggs caught a glimpse of a step-lad-1 der. which he immediately lowered ; through the trap, and drawing a mur derous looking revolver from his pocket commanded Bunch to come up , or be shot. Bunch decided to come up. I didn't j hold the wntch on him, but 1 figure it took him about seven-sixteenths of a second to make the decision. As the criminal slowly emerged from the cellar the spectators stood back, spellbound and breathless; Aunt Martha with a long tin dipper raised In an attitude of defense, and Uncle Peter with the bow and arrow ready for Instant use. Bunch looked at me reproachfully, but never opened his head. Say! If ever there was a dead game sport. Bunch Jefferson is the answer. He didn't even whimper when tho village Hawkshaw snapped the bracelets on his wrist and said: "Come on, Mr. Buggulfr! This here's a flno night's work for everybody In this neighborhood because you've been a source of pesterment around here for six months. If you don't get ten years, Mr. Buggular. then 1 ain't no guessmaker. Come along; good-night to you. one and all; that there boy that CAtched this buggular ought to get rewarded nice!" "He will be!" I said mentally, as Mr. Diggs led the suffering Bunch away to the bastile. "I've got to see that villain landed Is a cell," 1 said to Clara J. as the door closed on the victor and vanquished. "Do. John!" she answered; "but don't be too hard on the poor fellow. You can't tell what temptations may have led him astray. I certainly am disappointed, for I was sure It was th ghost. Anyway, the burglar had whiskers like the ghost's, didn't her I didn't lop to reply, but grabbing my coat, rushed away to formulate some plan to get Bunch out of hock. (Coprricht, by O. W. DUUnshaa CosJ

THRESHING RETURNS' FROM WESTERN .

CANADA. They Reveal Larger Averages of Wheat and Oats Than Anticipated. The returns from the grain fields of Western Canada ns revealed by the work of the Threshers, show much larger yields than wore oxnected as the crop was ripening, it is a little early yet to give an estimate of the crop as a whole, but individual yields solected from various points throughout Mnnltobn. Saskatchewan and Alberta show that the fanner there ns a rule have had reason to be thankful over the results. Excellent yields are reported from many portions of Manitoba and a largo district of Saskatchewan has turned out well, while the central portion of Alberta is splendid. There will be shown at the land exposition at St. Louis a sample of the Marque's wheat a new variety and one that appears to be well adapted to the soil and climate of Western Canada that yielded 53 bushels to the acre. The exhibit and statement will be supported by affidavits from the growers. This wheat weighs well, and being a hard variety will find n ready market ut the highest prices obtainable for a first-class article. It Is Interesting to point out that a field of one hundred acres of this wheat would give its producers 5.300 bushels. Sold at S5 cents a bushel would give him $45 an acre. Counting ail the cost of interest on land at $20 an acre, getting the land ready for crop. Seed sowing, harvesting and marke ting, the entire cost of production would not exceed $S an acre, leaving the handsome net profit of $37 an acre. Is there any crop that would yield a better return than this, with the same labor and initial expense? Cotton fields will not do It, apple orchards with their great expense of cultivation and the risk to run from the various enemies of the fruit cannot begin to do iL While what Is considered an exceptional case just now is presented, there Is no doubt that this man's experience may be duplicated by others who care to follow his example. As has been said the growing of this wheat Is but In Its Infancy, and wheat growing is still largely con fined to other older varieties that do not yield as abundantly. Even with these we have records before us of farmers who have grown 40 bushels to the acre., others 35, some 30. and others again 25 bushels. Taking even 20 bushels, and some farmers report that amount, it Is found that the returns from such a yield would be 517 an acre. This wheat will cost to get to market, including all expenses, about 5S an acre, and the farmers will still have a net profit of about $9 an acre. Certainly the provinces of Alberta, Saskatchewan and Manitoba are progressing, settlement Is Increasing and there Is a general contentment all over the country Tho social conditions are splendid, the climate is excellent, and there Is every condition to make the settler satisfied. At the farming congress, held at Spokane in October, wheat shown by the Alberta Government, took the silver cup, awarded by the Governor of the State. It completely outclassed all other specimens on exhibition, and It was but an ordinary selection, hundreds of fields in Alberta and Saskatchewan being able to duplicate ItThere are still available thousands of homesteads, as well as large areas of first-class land that Is being offered for sale at low prices. The agent of the Canadian Government from whom the above facts have been learned expects that the rush to Canada will next year largely exceed the numbers who have gone this vear. Sense of Taste. From a series of experiments ie- I cently made at the University of Kan- ! eas It Is evident that the average per- j son can taste the bitter of quinine when one part Is dissolved In 52.000 ' parte of water. Salt was detected in water when one part to 640 of the liquid was used. Sugar could be tasted in 22S parts of water and common toda in 48. In nearly all cases women could detect a smaller quantity than men. Russia's Growing Population. This year's census of the Russian empire adds another Ave millions tr the population as enumerated in 190S. The czar's subjects now number 160,000.000 and increase every jear by 2,500.000 despite wars, epidemics and Internal disturbances. As thcro is no lack of cultivated soil in Russia there seems no reason why this big annual Increase should not continue. Fulfillment. "Two great desires of my life hare been gratified. One was to go up In en airship ' "And the other?" "To get safely back to earth." Dr. Pierce' Pellet, small, iiif-ar-cmted. eay to take enntly, reculatc and in vie orate tomach, liver and bowels and cure conitiDation. Many a woman Is Bingle from choice the choice made by a man who chose another. No matter how lonr; your neck may be or how imre your throat, Himlins Wizard Oil will cure it nurely and quickly. It drives out all soreneas anil inflammation. Tho girl In tho silk stockings never gets her skirts muddy. Frcxh r-upply Mrs. Austin's Famoui Tancake flour. Now at jour Rrocera. People avoid him because they ar Irald of bis tongue.

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TOO BAD. Mr. Knocker I had llttlo faith In the curative properties- of your medicine. The Agent But It cured you?" j Mr. Knocker Yea, of oven the little J faith I had In It. Docs Your Cat Cough? Poor pussy! As If the Immemorial charges apalnat her of keeping us awake o" night and of eating canarybirds whenever she gets tbe chance were not enough, the doctors have Just dlscoveredthat for years she has been responsible for the spread of diphthetrla. Dr. G. J. Awbnrn of Manchester, England, having traced an epidemic of this disease In a suburb of that city to a pet cat belonging to one of his patients, has found, after much clever Investigation, that all cats are peculiarly susceptible to diphtheritic affections of the throat He has therefore recently been warning all families who own cats to watch them carefully, and, if they develop coughs, to forbid their being hugged and petted. Dr. Awburn further recommends that If the cough persists and the cat bf-glns to grow thin to havo tho animal destroyed at once. Tho only really safe way, he says. Is to let the first wheeze be pussy's death warrant. Which Is the Star? "Wp are thinking of putting an elec trie sign over the church." "It might be n good Idea." "Hut there are factions. We can't decide whether to fcaturo the minister or the soprano of the choir. Asking Too Much. "The count has promised that he will never beat or kick me If I will marry him." said tho beautiful heiress. "Hut hns he promised to work for you?" her father asked "Oh, papa, don't be unreasonable." Mm. Winimim fnntttlntr Sjrno. Korehlia.n i- -t n m mui. muuerilneouii&UoujLlurt iwiii.uurw KinU culio. ajoau(UA It's a l.ity that more sermons are not aa deep as they aro long. Frrnh fupnly Mrs. Autirn Famous Hiirku.lii.nt Hnnr tit all armer. I Roumai.iu bust 6.00U.UU0 Inhabitants, of whom 30,000 aro blind.

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f tlsdoaaa of druegt't and baruaaa dealara. or aant aiareaa paid iiy sMButactartn. Cut taowa bow to poalUr thivata. Our Im I tlookltt BlTrTthtn. Local aecota wautaat. Largaat tU!mf . buraa rvtned7 U axlataaoa twalrajcara.

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AXLE GREASE Keeps the spindle bright and free from grit. Try a box. Sold by dealers everywhere. STANDARD OIL CO. (IucorjHiraXoU RAW FURS THE OLDEST FUR HOUSE IN AMERICA. JOSEPHÜLLMANN, 18-20-22 West 20th Street, New Vorh Ilraix-h EütcbltabmrntH nml. - -Mit MVE at LKII'.K;, LONDON. FA KM, Cfrmany l-iijlana i ix ttnrlnff and (wlUn? rvprrwn' ' '-a-porta nt Kur Markrt of the i I 1 " ' c rii-b artlole whert lnt muH - ' 4. We o to py tilf tirat market :r raw ton at all I line. Onr Raw Kur Qnotallons. Shlpplne Ta?s. He will b ant to any idrirrM on tin.c Tlrterrnces: An Mi'ivanMI .(pi r t Baak. PHASE KOmOM THIS PAPER WHfJI AMSWURKt Bad BLOOD "Before I began using. Cascarets 1 rvii a bad complexion, pimples on nty face, and my food was notdtRtatedasitshould have been. Now I am- entirely well, and the pimples have all disappeared from my face. I can truthfully say that CascarcU are jut aa advertised; I have taken only two boxes of them."" Clarence R. Griffin, Sfttridaa, Ind. rteasant. Palatabla. Potent. Taste Good Do Good. Never SlcUtuWeaeacr Gripe. 10c. 25c, 50c. Never oldln britlc Thesrn-in-j tablet stamp-l C C C. Guaranteed ' cure or your money back. - Rich and Costly Furs COSTIY FT-HS ecr.e frem YOCTt r- cf theCn; MRY. Ship them to tie BE r rOR MARKET aoi RIGHT FtR 1' t By ihlFPlne DIRECT to you tette lf bettet FR ICES Ihia you baTe obtained e'e where, beouie we irll (Urert to irirmiii tutersof HIGH G31ADE. TVRS. A trial ihirment will CONVINCE yoa A pe Ully amoced pries IUI fot y I Territory wta 6 laUcd ps tetjortt Vt pay all exzrrrmfrr. ckarse bo caarou hods, and rtsilt promptly. LEOPOLD GASSNER FUR CO. S 1 Et 1 ftb nu Orll- r-irn fvyn 00 New York Qty it 5230, WW W YAZOO-MISSISSIPPI VALLEY ri DUO retherleheatlnndaonr r I An Mil 10J linahel of crn or 1 ' I nillliu HtKple Cotton twr acre M to fi jerav-re. Hell for S up )" ; Improve fori". rite for price 'If let on YAZOO-MISSLSSIITI VALLr TURNAQE & ARCHER Moorhaad, Bunflowar Counlr, M9 California Live, Dorit Exist. THaTY'RE WORKINQ IN SUNSHINE. Bilrireoon poatal and rereWe deKript" f 0j tare Pre. Send $1.00 and we write a . letter antweri in your qtieatlona ahoi't '', proflU. etc. California Information Ltd., 13 8 Delta BUI?.. Ixi Angeles Ca ' Tb New, Illeate, FaJtcInatlnff Krenrh ti"' RABINCIA W": arrtIJäVlr for rup' f HAT 51 11J. CO., 24 Knitun Street, Hrwk.jti a LOOK TO eretv How to (ret rUh . rmu tVitabw lre J aw . ;

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