Jasper Weekly Courier, Volume 52, Number 8, Jasper, Dubois County, 26 November 1909 — Page 1

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EEhln VOL. 52. Jasiek, Indiana, Friday, November 26, 1909. No. 8. A STUDENT JOKE.

n the House of Too Ich Wie,

In the House of Too Much Trouble Lived a lonly little boy: He was eager for a playmate, He was hungry for a toy. Hut 'twas always to much bother, Too much dirt, and to-j much noise, For the House of Too Much Trouble Wasn't meant for lit'b boys And sometimes the little ft How Left a book upon the floor Or forgot and laughid too loully. Or he failed to close the door In the House of Too Muih IVji')Iö , Things must be precise and trim In the House of Too Much Trouble i There was a little room for him. ' He must never scatter playthings, lie must never romp and p'ay; Kv'ry room must be in order And kept quiet all the day. He had never had companions, He had never own:d a pet In the House of Too much Trouble It is trim and quiet yet. Every room is set in order-

Every bcoK is in lis piace, Ai.J the lonely little fellow Wears a smile upon his face In the House of Too Much Trouble He is silent and at rest In the House of Too Much Trouble, With a lily on his breast. Albert Bigelow Paine.

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YOUR

THANKSGIVING SHOPPING NOW

Conspiracy of Silonco That Put

Profassor In a F... io. Professor Elias Loom's for mnn' yours occupied the ch: of astrono my nt Vale and was the author of the well known series of mathematical text boukfi. ' Professor Loorais repeated each year to the junior class a course of lectures on physics. The lecturewere illustrated by experiment.

and in one on compress! air l.e jr"TKlkl -r Ijt CSv"i 7"i r explained the principle of the well; -U.l JL J3.a.XlJSl Vl-0.g known air gun. iTT JIXTEPIF must be bought at the last moment, The students of each succeed miri

iB n.Ä.. MAM,i t... but this is nt necessary in

Ionian nn liicv viitricii liii: iiiliiii iiii ,

this particular lecture found on the side of the room remote from the

! Til n i f rm ft cm11 i n trrnf X f f ar nv.

plaining the operation of the K,U1 1 I , C-W III W Professor Loomis was in the habit i I 2 B f a fi IIS M

of landing three of its projectile J with mathematical accuracy in tho Are all made HI ttlO IlObbieSb St yles center of the btmseye. " Tho profcror was nhvnys ap- . . x w j a-i-o plaudod for this feat, but his prim ! fl tl Ul CZ rxLsi-)M I-O --3 face, covered bv a tightly drawn j . , . . . i -i fkiuof parchment hue, never show-'Are HlOSü attraCTIVO 111 Style aild: cd the plight est sign of gratification ' . - or recognition of anv kind. To him T) 11 3 11 1 )

it wa apparently only a scientific i experiment to be exactly demon- S f i" , , . . , if lZ

who had learned of tho immemorial A A I fjf Z" 2 - CT f DQUC A7

incident from the then seniors, nt-1 v v x w " 3 '

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Enter.rg the United States Sonate an i hie-. a cf Lords. V r i elected in the

r ' - Lo tends his credcut - i U.mee They are protl . .. - i 'ür.ijjue, rend from t. . . ! ''.'. .1 n the secretary's - xuuu objection is r . t!iev are sent to the

:i privileges and elec-

i -; .iiniiiuiion. nen a sen-

i; year ho slops quiolly

k's di'sk, escorted bv

r k fr; Sf, , (! . E. Tl . re

Pr. tin tr if t.,t i h ir t!r

per-. kvfV

n . ,. f . -. c V, fa n , "1 ' A tr,r,r. cel. i" t' Co--.... ,i li-M.,

U'l to1

t u s

. takes an o.ith to sup

titutiou of the United then led to n desk on , which his collcnguo tor him, where ho renivratulations of his : introductions to the " are to make his nd;!t look? as wiso as i M..its for adjournment, - to the secretary's ofi autograph in a bii

v the use of the cashier

' milenge. ri. licli limiffn rkf Inrla ilin

I v l ul I u 11

Ha Would Get Over. "Tf he's as good as he looks," said

Lord Archie, "he'll do."

"Thrv him, yor honor, thry him, ;aid Delonev confidentlv. "I've a

grand field and plenty o' jumps."

The colt was saddled, and J-ord

xVrehie mounted. Jle. first ralloncd

around tho field, about twenty ncres

in extent, and then took him over a

couple of hurdles, a wide turf fence mid finally a stone wall quite five foot hiirh. Ivinsr Brian jumped like

a stag, he could go a good pace, and

his month was poricction.

"How about

lordship.

tpmnted a little experiment of

their own, tho subject bein mathematical and scientific human nature.

Threo puffs from the air gun, and,

in tne world

Are made over the ö wellest lasts.

water?" asked his

Wather. is it?" said Delaney,

with supreme disdain. "Sure, if ye put him at tho river Shannon lie

wouldn't ldk."

"Do you think he'd clear it?" "Well, no, yor honor," replied Dfclnnev thoughtfully. "I wouldn't

0 a far as that. But, bednd," he

added, with an nir ot conviction, "what he didn't jump he'd swim!" London Answers.

Nobbier than ever,

shades and shapes.

although the students saw that tho m TJ"P T-T ÄT bullseve was perforated as usual, ' i-JL JJ XJ-XjL J afi

there wa not a sound of applau.-f Professor Loomis looked a moment at the clas' in a startled way, then at the target, and then, with a degree of emotion ho had ncvor before shown, exclaimed: "Didn't it hit? Didn't it hit? Didn't it hit?" A roar cf laughter, followed b even moro than the usual applause, showed the professor that he had not lost his mathematical accuracy.

Bright as the Fire. Wlmn nrnu'o llnll was buminff tho

--. -- -.. - --------0

..'i peer enters that Ins- lato Lord Crewe, father of tho pres- ''' t in 11 robe of scarlet ent earl, displayed a humorous lined with ermine, at equanimity which St. dames' Bud10 fellow peers, who netject deems worthy of preservation in 1 1-1 V.- ll.-P 1 ,

' t ana escoricu uy ine;prmt. i 1 11 -1 ....

Causes of War. The horrors of the Indian mutiny will still be remembered, anl the cause which led to it is a matter of history. Cartridges greased with cow's fat were scrvod out to the sepoys, who refuted to usv them on "the ground that the cow was n sacred animal. Almost without any warning the terrible massacres followed, which were only avenged at an enormous expenditure of lives and money. Tho war which deluged Austria and Prussia with blood in 1SG6 emanated in tho former failing to answer a question asked by tho latter. In the spring of that year the Austrinns began to arm very speedily mid nowerfullv. and the Prussians

wanted to know the reason. To

1- 1

rw the sorffoant-nt-arm3

Q ami the garter king at 1 in a gorgeous tabard. :n marches around, v bows to tho empty to the presiding officer, lord high chancellor,

' rent pnrts of the gilded

t IWV.Ü IIIUW llWUUCllii.

When the historic mansion, with this they would gie no reply, and

its works of art, rare manuscripts, ' Prussia, thinking it was an unlarmor and other treasures, was i friendly and menacing action,

blazing away Lord Crewe ordered a , brought about the gory campaign. fnntmiin to nlace a table on the ! London Tit-Hits.

lawn and bring him an inkstand and

some telegraph forms. He then sat down and composedly wrote this iclceram to Street, the Koyal acad-

!v resnonds. When the enneian :

t. aohcs the throne ho "Dear Street Crowe is burning.

'if-ntlv and n aces unon Come and muid it up again.

v l I -

chair, where his majesty sitting, the patent of hn received from his Ho is then led to tho ! re tho lord chancellor 'N him the oath. His ' ''t lead him to the prop'lere he takes his scat 1 '.t. Then all three rise

1' i" times nt the vacant

' ' t iirie limes to the nrc

r. Tho lord high clinnivpp the woolsack and ' tu shake hands with tho r -mI welcome him to the l!c olhor nppra rnmo nlsn

t t in'ir congratulations.

To his sifter ho sent another mcs

agc by wire:

"You always used to snv this wa? . . X-.- 1.1. .1

a COlII HOU?0. 1 OU wouiun t suj an if you could see it now."

lb tun H -

Tho Unwitting Jester. omc ucm answers

11 !' -t in n recent history 'l,l,n nt a large private

a i, h.'i a t,fv

"it

' n do Montfort formed what " ns the mnd parliament '"iicthing the same as it is iruit day'

.hu raised a lamous uouy .J"''- rs known to history as 'the

Mortmain tried to stop dead ttMlca r-Lonaon Taller.

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Think of 110,000 sq. feet of floor space

filled with highly skilled journeyman tailors, aided by the most modern equipment, and you'll have some idea of the immensity of the model tailoring shops of

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Didn't Suit Washington. Until the early part of the last fOTitnrv lford. Conn., had a houo

'in which Washington was said to

have spent a night, it was in j py,

when Washington made a tour 01 Now England. Tradition says that certain thinirs ahout hi

stay at the Milford tavern whiqh he

did not enjoy. Tho supper sot uefore him consisted of boiled meat and potatoes. lie was not pleased with tho meal and asked for a howl oi bread and milk. Tho landlord brought the new order and a broken pewter spoon with which to cat it. "Have you no better spoons than this?" naked General Washington. "It's the best 1 lmve in the houso, ßjr," replied tho host. "Send mo tho servant," said his excellency. "Here's 2 shillings. Oo to tho minister's and borrow a silj

vcr Epuuu. .

Tradition does not add whether he got tho spoon or not. Exchange.

Chinoso Worship of Ancestors. The one spiritual force that dominates every class of society in Chi

na is ancestor worship. In the Chi-

nese religion there is no other mat can take its place for a moment. A man may or may not worship idols, lie may express his utter skepticism about them or profess belief in tlinm Tn one cares what he

thinks. Let him, however, neglect the worship of the dead and ho is looked upon and pointed to with the bitterest scorn both by his own relations and by his neighbors. Tim worst taunt that tho heathen can hurl against the Christian, and tho one that stings him most, is tho

sneering statement that he has no ancestors. Xew York Tribune.

Too Great a Loss. Whoever knows anything about tho small boy and his pride in his first pair of trousers will rccognizo the truth of a story tho Philadelphia Leilgcr prints. t Tommv was at Sunday school in his first '"real" clothes. A picturo of a lot of little angels was before tho class, and the teacher asked Tommy if ho would not like to bo one. "No, ma'am," replied Tommy after inspecting the picturo. "Not want to ho an angel, Tommy 1" reproached the teacher. "Why not?" "'Cause I'd have to give up my new pants' said Tommy sagely.

SQUARE DEAL All Advertisers Aro Treated Alike. rhn rniTiiiER has but one rate

to all advertisers and treats all advertisers in the same manner

and squarely. It lrcqucnuy

comes to us that we lose bi smeta because the other papers make concessions with respect to then-

rate?. We urge you noi w ut

misled by newspapers wnicn are granting you concession. In that kind of a newspaper you never know when you have reached tho bottom. ou may think you are favored, but your neighbor is probably nearer the

DOltom limn y i i The advertising department of any newspaper is only conducted rightly when the rate is the same to everybody under the same conditions. vVhcn a news paper offers you a cheap rate.

you can easuy duuk uu ii ww is a cheap newspaper and is conscious of its own weakness and probably has a smaller circula ion than it is generali. credited

W'ru rmtnircrt wants all tho ad

vertising that its circulation de-

..ni nvneets 10 cnarui; a

SUl VO C4IIV A i-

fair price for the same. present the CouiUEit krovvsthat

it ha3 mucn uie migvov .i.w. tion in Dubois County and knows .ut- nmmonfiurate with that

llllilvi tun"'-'"' , , , circulation its rate is the lowest.

If you want the most ior yum money, advertisein the Courier,

An advertisement does not sol Roods, but it helps the seller to sell hern.

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