Jasper Weekly Courier, Volume 51, Number 28, Jasper, Dubois County, 9 April 1909 — Page 2

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Farm and

The Happiest Heart. Who drives the horses of tho sun Shnll lord it but n day; Bettor the lawly deed wero done, And kept the humble way. The rust will find the sward of fame, The dust will hide tho crown; Ay. noue shall nail so high his name Time will not toar It down. The happiest heart thnt over bent Was in somo quiet breast That found the common daylight sweot. And loft to henon tho rest. John Vance Choney. HORTICULTURAL COUNCIL GIVES PLANTING ADVICE. Pointers for Gardeners, Both Amateur and Professional, Provided. 1 Tho National Council of Horticulture has issued its first installment of spring suggestions for 1900 which gardeners, amateur and professional, as well as suburban householders near large cities, will find of value. Tho hints begin with "Planting in March," from which this is an excerpt . "if the seeds for the (lower and vegetable gardens are nut already in the hotbed, or in boxes or 'Hts placed near a sunny window, then the amateur! gardener who wants to keep abreast of his neighbors when wann weather' conies, would better prepare his hot-1 bed or boxes at once. j '"The simpler method of raising ; plants to be set out after all danger of frost is over, is to sow seed in boxes or pots to be Kejit indoors. The boxes should have holes fur drainage in the bottom, but .should not be so open as to let the soil dry. Ordinary garden soil may be used in the bottom, but on top there should be a lighter soil. Small eed should be sown on the surface: then fine soil spread over them and pressed down, but not so hard as to cause the soil to bake. "Coarse seed can best bo planted in little drills, or each seed pressed down into the soil, and the whole covered with a thin layer of earth. The soil should bo gently sprinkled with water immediately after the planting. Only the quantity of water which the soil wdl readily absorb without becoming soggy should be given. The box should be watered subsequently whenever the soli becomes dry a little below the surface. ' Set the box In sunlight by the window, hut shield it from the direct ras of the sun. Keep the soil well stirred to prevent it baking." For indoor planting the National Council says: 'in March, either In the hot bed, or in boxes by the sunny window, seed of the following liowers should receive their start, in order that good sized plants inav 1 ready when all danger of frost has pne. and the beds may be made outside. Aceratum, snapdragon, asters, begonias, marguerites, cocks-comb, heliotrope, annual hollyhock, lobelia, pansy, petunia salvia, verbena. sto -ks. wallflower. .Most of these will b- ready to plant outside by May 1 to 13. "For the -vegetable garden early peas may b planted outside in this month, and will produce a crop by June 15. In the hot bed or indoor box the following vegetable seed should be planted: Globe artichoke, earlv cah'-ae, early cauliflower, eel cry. pg.l.-tuT. kohlrabi, lettuce, parsley, pepi t and tomato. "An in' ApnMve hotbed which will prove a ti.Kj-t profitable investment for the an ir who haa a little space outside ,i hi- disposal may be made In this ninnner: Mnke an excavation thf deMr, i !neth and breadth. Is Inches ! p ('hoosc a place where there . :i !..- no seepage, pill on foot with fin. I - i h Press this down well and pa k ti-Mly on top four inches of ow manure Cover this with rich. Ban ly soil t;!a8 sash or boards may be lined to keep out the frost. Keep the bed moltit with warm water for a few days until it begins to heat, and plant your seed when the temperature has settled at about Ho degrees." The subject of lawns is an engrossing one at this time of year, and the council throws out these suggestions: "In th early spring is the beat time to make a new lawn and to repair an old one. Fertilizer should be applied to prase plots which have been established a few years, ,nd thin portions should be reseeded. If seed has been sown In the fall for n new lawn, watch carefully this spring, and reneed those places where tho first seeding falls to como up. "In making a new lawn. crent care should be taken. Prepare tho ground as Kfon as it can bo worked. Grade It. smoothing over rough surfaces, ranking proper level spaces and gentle slopes. If possible the lawn should slope away from tho house. Tho grading should be done to distribute evenly all surface water, avoiding the formation of little runs which might produce washouts. "Enrich the soil with a liberal supply of well rotted manure. This Is essential whore the soil Is lacking In humus, otherwise hone meal or other good fertilizer Is useful. The ground should he plowed or spaded not less thnn eight Inches deep, all stones nnd similar material removed, lumps broken up, and the surface smoothed. Then It Is ready for seeding. ' Tse a good lawn mixture. Four parts Kentucky blue gross, with one part white clover, sown not less than five bushels to the ncro. Is good. Red top instead of the blue grass, or equal parts of red top nnd blue grass produce good results. I'so plenty of seed nnd nothing but puro seed." Planting and Cultural Rules. Thoroughly compact tho soil about the seeds nnd so hasten germination. Ilomomber that row which run north and south allow the sun's tas to roach both sides of the plant- a distinct advantage. Plant seeds of string beans every fortnight, so that there will ahvaya be n supply of U-ndvr pods. Forgot that potatoes were ever planted In bills, level culture is much

Garden

better. Plant the tubers in deep furrows. When planting large. Hat seeds sot them in the ground edgewise. Germination is more certain. Make sowings once a week of such quick-growing vegetables as lottuco and radishes, to insure, a continuous succession. Sow radish seeds In tho same row with slow-germlnatlng seeds. Thoy will come up In a few days and mark the rows for cultivation. To get tho earliest cucumbers, melons and summer squashes, sow tho seeds early on Inverted sods or In small pots in the house or coldfrnmo. Do not follow your grandfather's custom of planting beets, lettuce, onions, and such vegetables. In raised beds. They dry out too quickly, as well ns being ditllcult to cultivate. Do not expect peas to mature well in the hottest weather. You will bo dlsapotnted. But sow the seeds of an early variety In August ami you will get a good crop In the fall. Spray with n potassium sulphide solution to keep down mildew. Rotate the crops in the garden. Land that grew anv of the cabbngo tribe last year should be planted to beans or some other class of plants hts year. Many troubles like clubfoot will thus be avoided. As a rule, follow root crops with those which grow above ground. Suburban Life. Don't Use the Ax. A complaint we often hear Is. "Egg eating." This also enn be stopped. Some say "use the ax." No. don't! It is better to lose ten minims time thnn a dollar. Take an egg shell, fill it with pepper, butter and a few of those things which Mrs. Hen hates, and put in the nest. When the hen tastes of its contents she wonders wnether or not she is eating an egg, or perhaps she has a funny taste In her mouth. She may take another swallow, but tq her disappointment, finds that she has been stung sharper than before. She feels rather faint and quickly runs for the drinking fountain. Immediately she makes up her mind never more to eat eggs. Another way to put an end to " egg eating" is by collecting the eggs as soon ns possible after they have been laid and putting nest eggs in their place. There are other ways of curing this action which you may know, but think you will find my ways helpful. Try them, and see. From Farmers' Home. Memorandum Book. When writing to the various fertilizer and Implement concerns ask them for a free memorandum book, and use these handy little volumes for jotting down the odd jobs whenever you think of them. Then rearrange the jobs so they can be taken up when there la a chance and put through to the best advantage. Pay specinl attention to items that can be done on stormy days: put them by themselves, and see that the materials and tools are ready In advance. Work that can be done on stormy days nnd In the evening hours seems like clear gain to the ambitious farmer. American Cultivator. Value of the Dust Bath. Many people do not realize the value of a dust bath for fowls. By this they scour off the scurf and scales of the skin nnd rid themselves of vermin. It is the hen's natural method of bathing. The finer, lighter nnd drier the dust the more effective It Is as a cleanser and vermin destroyer. The dust bath should be in the open air and In a place where the sunlight can strike it. The scratching shed Is n good place for it. Here the dust settled quickly and does not affect their breathing. How to Cure Pork. Here is the government recipe for salt pork: "Rub each piece with fine common salt nnd pack closely. Let it stand overnight. The next day weigh out ten pounds of salt and two ounces of saltpeter to each 10o pounds of meat nnd dissolve In four gallons of boiling water. Pour this brine over the meat when cold, cover and weight to keep it under the brine. Meat will park best If cut into pieces about six inches square. The pork should be kept in the brine until used." Turkeys Profitable. Turkeys have long since demonstrated the fact to the Intelligent fnrmer that they are great farm money makers and seldom If over damage any one to the amount of five cents, but on the other hand are great destroyer of weed seed, as well as insects of every description, honce a great advantage to any land owner. Farmers' Home Journal. AROUND THE FARM. A good rond Is a good Investment for nnv section. Kind treatmont Is one of tho ingredients of the ration of every cow. No danger of overflowing along thnt lino. The good brood sow ought to prove profitable up to seven or eight years of age. Look over tho flock and if any of the ewes seem weak, sopnrate them from tho Hock, and give them extra care and feed until they grow strong. Know when your stock is ready for market nnd know when and where you can find the best market for your stock. Grow somo hickory trees for ax and hammer handles, if you raise moro than you need you can easily sell, for hickory brings a good price. Plenty of light always for the stork. If your barn larks windows put them In at once, a window with every stA.ll. It has Been well said that anybody can keep stock, but it is quite another thing to manage so that stock will keep you. Are you doing It? If It Is possible to avoid It don't fake oiir seed potato h from a baseincut where there is a furnace. Their vitality is apt to have been impaired. Spiders' Thread. Four miles of an ordinary spider's thread would weigh one grain.

STRONG FLIGHTS OF ORATORY Examples of Mixed Metaphors Calculated to Cause a Smile. An nmatour historian is responsible for this: "All along tho ever llowlng stream of history you can discern tho sllont footprints of tho crowned hoads of Europo!" Tho village reportor on tho donth of tho village poot: "That dauntless pen shall write no more, for Its oyos are closed forever!" From tho speech of a rising young politician: "The ilorce light of public opinion shall dog their footstops until It strangles them. Then shall thoy swallow the hitter pill and drink its very dregs." Advice and warning from a successful man of business to a gathering of young people: "Every rung In the ladder of success is paved with slippery stones, on which only tho clear head and the steady hand can retain their footing!" Tho fearless suffragette was addressing n meeting of mere men. She had graphically related to them (ho fascinating story of the strenuous struggle the Indies had made for that most priceless of possessions, i vote how every obstacle had been conquered nnd victory wasat last In sight. "We have now." she shrieked, "almost crossed the trackless desert and the harbor lights are stretching out their arms to greet us!" The temperance ndvocate was giving a striking but a true picture of the vast amount of evil wrought by the demon of drink. "What Is the greatest devastating agent of our timo?" he asked. "It is tho bottle, which smiles genially before your face while at the snmo time It is stabbing you in the back!"

FOR FIG LEAF COSTUME. Army Officer Says Fair Sex Possess Modesty In Inverse Ratio to Clothes. "If American women wore less clothes they would be more modest. The women of Africa wear very littlo raiment and thoy are the most moral women In the world!" This is tho contention of Arthur George Pomeroy Collen, son of the retired English ofiicer, Lieut. Gen. Sir Edwin Collen, for forty years a resident of British East Africa, For seven years Mr. Collen was one of the assistant district officers of the East Africa protectorates, and during that time made a special study of tho women of Africa. ' Clothes mnke the savage woman shy and coquettish," Mr. Collen said. "I have noticed In their native garb, which consists of a strip of bark or bit of woolen blanket, they are ns unconscious of their charms as children. "A white shirt waist and a skirt to which the missionary Introduces them seems to sow the first seeds of vanity. They become vain, flirtatious and conceited. I hesitate to imagine what would be the result If a dlreetolre gown were let loose In their midst. The mortality of morals would be prodigious. "Of cours the climate in England and America would hardly permit of less garments thnn are worn, yet there are a lot of unnecessary trimmings and furbelows with which women bedeck themselves. "I think an ornamental purity brigade, with an African woman as missionary, would help Occidental morals and manners." Chicago Inter-Ocean. Squeezed the Squeezers. It Is said that when Mr. Yerkes began to make money some of the banks from which he had borrowed thought to "squeeze" him by demanding Instant repayment or a large consideration for further time. He was Invited to call on one of these "bankers" nnd there met the others. Their demand was made, and tnelr victim seemed at their mercy. They did not, however, know the resourcefulness of Mr. Yerkes. who retaliated by remarking: "Well, I owe a lot to all the banks here, and I'll just publish a statement to-morrow In the papers, giving the full amounts and stating my Inability to pay. This will make such a run on the banks that they will soon be as broke as I should, and therefore I shall not be the only sufferer." The "squeezers" recogniied the truth of this and so withdrew their demand. Mr. Yerkes. however, refused to withdraw his threat unless they lent him another $50,000. They did so. Horseback Riding. Horseback exercise possesses, according to some physicians, the faculty of both increasing and reducing weight. If meals are taken immediately after riding additional flesh Is gained: otherwise a decrease of flesh results. One on Uncle Hiram. City Niece Well, Uncle Hiram, how did you enjoy the tea with the slices of lemon in It? Uncle Hiram Ten! Gosh, gsi I thought that was puro out nnd out circus lemonade. Chicago News. Just Shoot Twice. "I thought you said this gtm would shoot a thousand yards?" "It will." "It won't. It only shoots 500 yards." "Well, It's a double-bo rreled gun, ain't It?" Cleveland Lender. A Fair Exchange. "When Ulnks was courting his wife he opened hiß hoart to her." "Well ?" "She exchnnged with him. After they were married she opened his eyes." Haltlmore American. Compensation. Friend If your washer woman charge by the piece, it must be rather expensive. Young Houwok-,-,pei Oh. no' She loses so nititiy things that her bills are never high! A Good Witness. "Old the big capitalist mako a good witness? "A good witness? I !,h.iuM soy ho did Ho actually swore to his own name and address."

W oman's

Light. Tho night has n thousand eyes, And the day but one; Yet tho light of tho bright world dlos With the dying sun. The mind has a thousand oyos, And the heart but one; Yot the light of n whole life dlos When love is done. F. V. Bourdllllon. SHALL WOMEN WORK AFTER MARRIAGE? Three Incidental Remarks on MuchDiscussed Question. "Shnll women work after marriage? That Is so largo a question that it will bo merely suggested and then laid ou tho table for future discussion," says William Hard In Everybody's. Only three incidental remarks will be hero made about It. "First It is a question that may settle itself without much help. Many students think so. among them tho president of Byrn Mawr Collego, who said not long ago that 'everything seems to indicato that women will not only mako their way into all oxcept a few trades and professions, hut that they will be compelled by economic causes to stay In them after marriage.' "Second Work after marriage, aside from Its economic aspects, has seemed to many persons who have given it much thought to have possibly an intellectual and moral value. In his authoritative book on 'Sex and Society,' Prof. W. I. Thomas seems to adopt this view. 'The remedy,' he says, 'for the Irregularity, pettiness, ill health, and unserviccnbleness of modern women seems to lie, therefore, along educational lines; not in a general and cultural education alone, but In a special and occupational interest and practice for women, married and unmarried. This should be profernbly gainful, though not onerous nor incessant. "Third Virtually every mother who can afford It has a nursemaid who relieves her of the children, and the childron of her. for part of each day and night. This is thought proper. Also, it Is thought proper for a family to live at Sherry's and have Its meals sent up to It from the enfe. In this way the family avoids having a food factory In its suite of living rooms. Now if at some time in the remote future, when society is somewhat better adapted to social needs there should be co-operative kitchens which would leave women fre for four hours a day to do work which, as Prof. Thomas discriminatingly says, should be gainful but not onerous nor incessant, would society then be any more shattered at its foundations than it now is at Its top." New Color Terms. The coming season has been heralded as a season of color. There are some new shades, and many newnames for them. In fact, tho names seem to multiply day by day. There is sand brown, very near tho old camel color. It comes in a range of shades, from light to dark. There is another color, not widely differenL known as gravel. It has even a wider range of tones. The most popular of the taupes and smoke grays and those which are the most becoming have tho slightest variation of taupe, with more warmth than Is usually found In taupe. The color known as lichen Is grny with green In It. It Is one of the cleverest of the faint, subtle colorings of nature. Then there is wood rose and Niagara, nnd framboise, which Is like the flame-colored azaleas, red. with yellow and a flame sugestion. Very' many of the browns have a hint of gold In their makeup. Somehow tho colorings are vivid, many of them without being garish. Necklace of Seashells. A girl had sent to her from the Pacific coast one of the long strings of tiny sea shells, each one a cone about an Inch long, beautiful In opalescent tints of pinkish purple shading to green. The shells are strung so that the cones point alternately In opposite directions. These necklaces are in a long string that can bo slipped over the head several times, but the girl had them made Into a four-stranded collar, with a 3mnll plated gold clasp. The work was dono for about 50 cents and tho dog collar effect was much prettier and newer than the old way. This Is a good way to treat all long strings of beads. It can be done at home by buying a clasp. The heads need not be restrung. but the ends are caught up and the two cords on each side fastened to the clasp ring by two smaller rings. "While long bead chains are not In first style, the collars are still popular. They nro, moreover, less apt to break than strings that must be put over the head. Homespun Gowns. "For spring dresses and suits of the general wear style, soft, pliant homespun Is the favorite material," says Harper's Bazar. "It comes In all the new olive and bottle green shades, In the new plum and blue, and In the castor and gray shades. Wlde-walcd serges aparently are to be much worn In navy blue and In white. The vogue for white serge has been on tho Increase for a season or two, but this year It Is to bo especially marked. Two-thirds of the early summer sorgo dresses are in white, gray, or castor color. Tho proper white Is that called aystor. which sugests a gray Just off the white. Serge suits of this sort are often most elaborately trimmed." Quick Bath Best Tonic. Some women say that they have not the vitality to withstand a dally hath, Thnt la usually the case whon tho Imth Is considered a bother and too much strength Is oxpondod In tho icrubhlng and rubbing. The most banedotal bath Is the quick one that Is

Sphere.

over within throe minutes. Such a bath Is a tunic. It is not necessary to got Into tho tub. Merely go over the body speedily, bathing away the dust and secretions of the skin, rinsing quickly and rubbing briskly until tho skin fairly tingles. If ono Is nervo tlrod, n hot hath Just before going to bed will act ns n soothing, restful comforter. Sailor's Knot. If you are skilled In tho art of tying twine or string your hnnds nro needed for tho new Directolro sash. The ends of It nro now twisted Into tho sailor's Turk's bond knot. This Is a now touch and It is quite effective. The folds of silk are laced and interlaced in exnet sailor fashion into the largo soft balls which end the streamers. Fancy Broadcloths. Chiffon broadcloth appears In all the now colorings and of a lightness and softness evon surpassing that achieved by tho manufacturers last season. Fancy broadcloths in ono tone colorings and woven satin or chevron stripes are numerous. Punctured Cloth. Thoro Is a broadcloth trimming now in use which la coverod with a design in holes. These are made with a stiletto. It Is called punctured cloth, nnd Is used for rovers, waistcoats and panels on skirts and coats. Separate Coat Necessary. The separate coat is a necessary garment in these days of all-alike gowns tho&e of the ulster stylo for service and the fashionable longsklrtod Directoire for dress. Bowknots for Hatpins. Bowknots made of cut jut, brilliants or cut glass stone are now used for hatpins. FOL-DE-ROL. Plain and chased gold bracelets are popular. No end of braid Is used on fashionable gowns. The one-oyelot pump will be worn in the house. The appreciation of soutache Is greater than ever. Plum and prune color Is favorlto In elaborate street suits. Paris will mnke use of skunk as a trimming and in small furs. Peacock tints, beautifully blended, are the success of the hour. Most buttons now have a protecting rim of motal, bone or horn. The passementerie button Is pretty, but elegance points more to the plain button. One of the recent Innovations In the use of taupe is a single touch In a costume. Wide black velvet ribbon bows are very smart with linen collars and lingerie blouses. Nowadays nearly all women wear jabots, and among the prettiest Is the grandfather's frill. Embroidered dots of various sizes are used In dainty ties. The dots may be white or a color. Royal blue, golden brown, mulberry and maize are fashionable colors in high class costumes. Nowadays nearly all women wear jabots, nnd among the prettiest is the grandfather frill. Many of tho prettiest hats are almost smothered in downy marabou; its soft effect Is becoming to almost every woman. A narrow band of gold or silver ribbon, with a rose at each end, makes a becoming hair ornament on the Grecian order. Shoes present one aspect coming and another aspect going hacks match tho dress, while fronts are of conventional patent leather. With elaborate afternoon and evening gowns sleeves that are straped with the material of the gown over lace are a good doal used. Slip a bit of gold lace under your net chemisette. This glint of gold through the transparency is one of the Important touches. Cord bolts nro tho latest wrinkle In girdles. These come in almost any standard shade and nro fastened in front with a huge colored stone In barbaric design. Most of the coats are a straight knee-length. Many of them are fastened with jet buttons, and a black ribbon thrends through tho collar and ties In a bow In front. Many women hnve the mistaken idea that the present fashionable dress, which seemed extreme at first. Is trying to the figure; but, truth to tell, it is exactly the reverse. One of the best of the new shirtwaist styles Is a perfectly plain tailormade, of Scotch madras In stripes or big blocks of color on a white ground, the color mntchlng the suit. A Strong Hint of It. Manager Hut. my dear sir, your play has absolutely no human touch. Aspiring Plnywrlght What! no human touch! Whon my hero borrows money from all hl3 friends? Baltimore American. Effective. "How did you cure your wife of cnattorlng si much? ' "1 told her that when her llpj were closed they formed n perfect Cupid's bow." Cleveland Plain Donlor. An Effort to Answer. "Father." said littlo Hollo, "whnt Is tho glass of fashion?" "I don't know exactly, my son, but Englishmen I've met seem to think It's the monocle." Washington Stni. The Untempered Wind. Knicker The wind Is tempered to the shorn lntnb. Hocker Funny It doesn't act thnt way whon n man takes off his flannels. New York Sun. To follow only tho light of your own desires Is to find yourself In tho darkness of self-disgust.

Plain gored skirts prevail. One the now models, plainly gored has a front panel trimmed at each Bide n..ar the bottom with throe of theao but jet buttons, one over the other Taupe which has an untleriuns of dull green Is extremely fashionable but women of pale complexion shoui.j avoid It unless It Is brightened m with a touch of somo color whi-h thoy know is particularly becoming them. To woar with hugo toques In after-' noon attire, in lieu of tho scarf .,( fur. many women nro adopting hu satin senrfs. throequnrters of a yanj In width, hemmod with fur. and which nro wound round tho throat and fall ovor tho shouldors In tho latest approved stylo.

CLASS THAT HUBBY WAS IN. Possibly Wife Did Not Mean It Just That Way, But There It Was. A husband nnd wife ran a freak show in a certain provincial tow, but unfortunntely thoy quarreled, an I tho exhlbts were equally divided b. tweon them. Tho wife decided to ct,tlnue business as an exhibitor at ti.. old nddress, but the husband w.nt on tour. After somo years' wandering th.. prodigal returned, and a reconciLiHon took place, ns the result of whu h they became business partner on., more. A few mornings afterward th" people of the neighborhood were x-nt into fits of laughter on reading 'he following notice In tho papers: "By tho return of my husband, my stock of freaks has been permanentr. increased " C.ilna's Four Religions. China has four state established religions, and In each the emperor ex" clses sacerdotal functions. Twice ,i yonr tho emperor as "son of heav n worships before the tablet of Shamr TI or supreme heaven In accordantwith the ancient Imperial monothei.-n. Twice a yonr, he burns incense befi. the tablets of his ancestors in arcoi : ance with Confucianism. Twice a . .,; he sacrifices to tho gods of Taoism and twice a year to the image of ,u dim. The ancient and primitive r. -Hgion of China is monothelstir. t uthis direct worship was regarded ,ttoo sublime for the people, so th.' r became reserved for the emperor ;.! !. as the "sou of heaven" and as i r. -of tho nation. The people on the:, part worshiped their ancestors, an.! was this ancestral religion which Confucius identified himself with and r formed. The old superstitions ; jected by Confucius were absorbed ! Taoism, which is polytheistic and threligion of the jiopulace. Then Bu ! dhlsm came into China about ",:, a. I and, like, tho other three religions, be came state supported and state er. do wed. In Hot Water. "Typographical errors." said a writer, ' "aro continually cropping up I called for a magazine editor thr other day to take him out to luncheon As he was getting gratefully into hicoat a man entered. "'Do you read your magazine?' thman asked. "'I do,' replied the editor. " 'Have you read the new number, the one that came out yesterday?' " i have.' '"Have you read my poem, "To Ga brielle." on page 117?' " 'N-no." " No! Weil. In that poem I wrotr the line. "I love you better than I lov my life.'" " 'A neat line neat and well turned.' said tho eiditor soothinglv " 'And one of tho professional humorists of your composing room set It up to rend. "I love you batter than I love my wife.' " " 'How or' "'Than my wife precisely tha' And my wife knows nothing of con. posing room comedy, and she thinkthe Hue was printed exactly as I wrot It.' " In Different Sets. It is but seldom, one Imagines, tha a good joke is made about an oyster. Edmund Yates, however, in his "Kec! lections and Experiences." relates on. "I was walking with Thackeray onevening from tho club." writes Yat "nnd. passing a fish shop In N street, he noticed two different tü1 . of oysters, one marked '1 shilling dozen' and tho other 'is. 3d. a doze:. "'How they must hato each other said Thackeray' After the Failure. Mrs. Scraggs My husband hasn a dollar In tho world, and I think l am entitled to a divorce. Mrs. Brnggs On what grounds Mrs. Scraggs On the ground that I married him for money. Puck. Jonah's Dilemma. Whale Whnt are you going to tell your wife when you get home? Jonah I don't know. I don't sup pose she would believe me If I should loll her that I had been to a fish dinner. Bohemian Magazine. Alfred Knew. "Can you tell us what auto-suggestion Is. Alfred?" "Yessum. It's whon mamma keep hlntin' to papa that a lot of our friends nro buyln motor cars. Kansas City Times. Up To Date. Little Teddy I can lick my weight in wildcats, C. Q. D." "Littlo Willie Oh, that's nothing; I can eat my weight In possums,. ID. Q." Judge. The Law of Gravity. "Silence In tho court!" thundered the judge, and the laughter died aw.o "Mr. Ballliff." continued the Instructions from the bench, "eject th next man who defies the inw of gravity Philadelphia Ledger . A Bitter Pill. Mllly An.l how does your brother take married life? Tilly He ink' it according to directions. His moth or In law lives with him. Illustrated Hits. A friend Is a second solf.Latln.