Jasper Weekly Courier, Volume 51, Number 17, Jasper, Dubois County, 8 January 1909 — Page 6
WEEKLY COURIER
DUN EI). DOANE, Publisher.
Winnie and ihe Widower
A. comb ny Jr" OJVE SCEJVE
JASrEK.
INDIANA.
The flying mnchlno will mnke tin
auto look up to It, anyhow!
To ascertain the latest In ladles
hoso, take a niouso to the ball.
When I was a boy, the only training
school in our town was tho wood-
shod.
Somotlmos a man's wife calls him up on tho 'phono Just to call him
down.
A woman of tact is one who nakos a bashful man think ho did the pro
posing.
A Ilalkan war cloud novor amount? to much when other things domand
the attention of the public.
"It 's the nrbt time." said Winnie.! letting her eyes droop, "It's the llrst
urao iiint wo nave ueen quae atone together since it happened." Tho Widower seemed struck by the circumstance. "Yes," he replied, consideringly, "I believe it Is I positively believe it Is." "I I hope," she said timidly, "I hope you've you've got over It by now." The Widower reflected. "I think I have," he answered con
scientiously. "I'm almost sure I have,
"Especially as thnt was tho case." "Don't be absurd!" oxclnlmod Winnie wrathfully. "All the same. I
should liko to know," she addod, with ' true fomlnlno portlnacity, "vv'hnt niado
you marry her? "Shall I toll you?" ho asked calmly. "Do, please," entreated Winnie. "She did," said the Widower. "She did, what do you mean?" "I mean that she made mo marry her," explained tho Widower patient
ly"Your wifo?" demanded Winnie,
You see, I hnvo been trying hard j opening wide eyes of amazement upon
traveling and all that sort of thing, im. you know. I finished un at Monte : "Yes. Sho was n woman of tho most
Carlo. The place cheored me wonder
fully. I lost quite n lot of money at the tables." "I think that was very wrong of ;
you," said Winnie sternly. "Gambling
is wicked." I
'Ah, but if you knew what a relief.
extraordinary determination. Sho was very rich, too." He s'ghed. "Money is such a power," he added. "Then," said Winnie, with an air of stern rebuke, "it was not a love match at all?"
"Well, porhaps not exactly what you
wasn't a vegetarian) it Just occurred to mo that I was most frightfully font!
of you
"Oh," said Winnie, rising. "Thoro'i
tho next danco beginning, and I"
"Sit down," said the Wldowor,
placing a detaining hand on hor arm
"Novor mind tho next danco. What do you think 1 canto hero for tonight I didn't come to dance. I came to see you. I havo been waiting to see you for for months; but they told me
you wero ongagod, and I kept away." "I I broke it off," bIjo murmured,
looking down.
"Was was ho a vegetarian?" asked
tho Widower anxiously.
Wlnnlo raised her oyes to his, and
her cheeks turned suddenly crimson
"No, but I, 1"
Tho Wldowor gavo a llttlo trlum
phnnt laugh.
"My darling." ho whispered in hor oar, "wo can mako it up to each other
nil the rest of our lives!" The
Sketch.
'WU'.i'i'it'i-'j!
DUC IS 6AY DOG
Theodora' Husband Haj Sotun
Many Wild Oats
ITEMS OF INTEREST.
As a rulo, vcgoUrhinH hav, iomp'exlons than peoplo v ti mal food. Tho first envelope over ina i. In existence, and may be . nritish Museum. Tho pawnshops in Berlin ,
irouou oy tho government.
,P, , , I'lumti are ucvoied entirely r , lhcodora Shontz, tho pretty Amerl- Prosperity and planofort. - can heiress, who married due de Chanl- gethor. declares a mannf i. - nes recently In New York, married ono hard times a piano 3 a luv of huropoa most noted snendthrlfts cood tlmr t. niu..i
SUNFLOWER PHILOSOPHY.
At tho age of SO President Diaz, of
Mexico, will probably run again. He
has nover heard of Dr. Olsor.
It was to be able to do something would describe as a love match," ho
Another list of deformed words has been put out by tho simplified spellers, but tue public Is taking precious little
Interest in it.
Mr. Rockefeller says that the Stand
ard Oil Company is "a hazardous un
dertaking." Most of us would bo will
ing to take a chance In it
A California man has obtained a di
vorce on tho ground that his wife
cle aned k. .'s with gaaollue. The kids.
however, lia; ptened to bo tholr child
ren.
A husk? r. nnsylvanian oC 07 years has just jitt rn off tho tobacco habit.
The averoge smoker will cheerfully
aecept that age as the nicotine deadline.
The general introduction of cobless
corn, recently discovered In Illinois,
weuld settle that long-dfacu&sed prob
lem in etiquette of the proper way to
eat the reacted oar.
If Kaiser Wilhelm can make it con-
nient to visit the United States he may be assured of a grand reception,
with full permission to do as much
talking as ho pleases.
A New York druggist has boen sent
t i the penitentiary for selling bogus mineral water. He probably would have accepted a lino as "something
Just as good."
A man enlisted In the army the otlwr dny Instead of "spending a life of idleness blowing in a fortune." He
became a soldier simply because he
didn't want to soldier.
Lhassa, tho mysterious capital of ThlbeL Is beginning to show longings
for the amenities of Western civillzn tlon. It has just placed a contract
with a Calcutta firm to supply a large
number of Europoan band instruments.
Araorica is not alone In her distress oter a decreasing supply of domostic labor. While gaining 3.000.000 households Germany has lost 37.000 In hor totil number of servants. Distaste for what old-fashioned New Engländers
cali "house work" grows steadily in classes from which such labor generally comes. We seem to soe a distant time, whon, in tho absence of ma-
rhinery mechanically relieving hor, the average housewife will have to be
he; eWh "girl."
The Amorican Seaman's Friend Society ojened In Now York the other day a five-story hotel for the use of sailors, in which, for less money than is chargod In tho choap boardinghouses, sailors may got good board and lodging, with all the conveniences affordod In a gentloman's club. It Is said to be the largost sailor's home In the world. Apparently it Is not alone tho parents of tho boy who goes to sea that are Interested in his welfare, but kindly dlsposod persons with money are seeing to It that he is protected from unscrupulous men and womon In the large cities where he lands.
Astronomers are beginning to interest thomselvos in the reappearance of Halloy's comet. This is the famous comot that blazed through the heavens in 14 5C, at about tho time the Turks became masters of Constantinople. In those times It was thought that comots portended disaster, and tho good peoplo of Christian Europe inserted a prayer in their liturgy that they might be saved from "tho devil, tho Turk and the comot," In 1CS0 Edmund Halley, an English astronomor, predicted tho reappearance of tho comet of 1456, and conjectured that it was the same as that which haiUbeen soon In 1531 and 1C07. Ills prediction was verified In 1682, and tho comet has since been known by his name. It Is next due some tlmo between 1910 and 1912, as It last vlaltoi tho solar system In 1835, and has a period of about seventy-six years. Of tho Bhort period comots, Halloy's takes the longost to complete Its orbit. Tho comot of 1S4 1 has so great an orbtt that it Is ostlmated that Its visits to our system occur at intervals of a hundred thousand years.
wicked again," sighed the Widower,
"you would overlook It. Do you know, I was gradually becoming almost too good to live. It gave me quite a shock when I realized It. My constitution would not have stood the strain much longer. I am certain." "The older men grow the worse they
get, declared Winnie with the air of
one delivering a profound epigram.
"That, of course, is the natural tend
ency." ho admitted. "It doesn't do to
check It beyond a certain point" He
sighed again at this sudden contemplation of man's Inuate depravity. "It's
like suppressing measles," he added a
little Inconsequent!'.
"What is?" she asked, regarding her
fan.
"Curbing man's natural tendency to
grow worse." he explained, "beyond a certain point. It often leads to more dangerous complications."
In your case I do trust," exclaimed
Winnie in a tone of extreme solicitude.
that the the complications have not
yot become as bad as all that."
Fortunately, no," he assured her.
"Monte Carlo just saved me. You have no idea what an excellent safety valve for suppressed tendencies Monte Carlo is. It's a most terriblv wicked nlace "
I should love to go there," she
sighed.
The Widower gazed at hor with cold
disapproval.
I am surprised to hear you express
an inclination of that sort." he said
sternly. "You have no tendencies that require artificial evaporation."
"Of course not." said Winnie hastily. How dare you suggest such a thing?" "The suggestion was yours." he
pointed out judicially. "You Implied that"
"I didn't," she Interrupted, blushing. I merely meant I should love to see
the scenery."
Oh," said the Wldowor. looking re
lieved, "the scenery, of course. The scenery. I may say, is beautiful. The sea Is a kind of greenish blue tint, and thore are. I believe, hills and thlncs.
and the Casino is quite a fine building especially inside. The the trees"
Oh. never mind the trees!" inter
rupted Winnie impatiently. "I wanted to talk to you about something else. I wanted to to condole with you."
Thanks." he murmured. "I shall
be very pleased, I'm sure."
Pleased?" She regarded him se
verely.
I mean pleased to bo condoled
with," he explained, "by you."
It must have been a great blow."
observed Winnie in a tone of detached
commiseration.
"It was she never expected it." he
sighed.
"I meant a blow to you." corrected
Winnie.
Oh to me! I suppose It was: yes.
no doubt It was though I managed somehow to bear up. Ne tu cede mails
you have road Virgil?"
No I haven't." she declared with
unnecessary vehemence
conceded; "although she pretended to
bo very devoted to me. I may add that she had a rather rcmarkablo way of showing; her devotion at times." "What sort of a remarkable way?" Inquired Winnie, becoming Interested. "Did she pot you too much?" "Hardly too much?" replied tho Widower reflectively. "You see, tho poor girl had a somewhnt fiery temper. She was terribly jealous entirely, oh, quite entirely without cause," he hastened to add. "Nevertheless, she would not allow mo on any consideration to speak to a woman under fortyfive." "That must have been a great hardship," murmured Winnie.
"I could have supported It with equanimity," he sighed. "But she latterly developed various uncomfortable eccentricities. Among other things she became a vegetarian, and compelled me to live on herbs like herself. She embraced the absurd theory that two meals a day were onough for human beings to subsist upon, and from that moment I nover knew what it was not to feel hungry. It was this practice, I believe, that eventually carried her ofT." "Sho she was not very' young?"
Hazarded Winnie.
"Poor girl no! She she had been. I believe. Hut she outgrew It She was In her sixty-fourth year when she expired." "Slxty-four!" exclaimed Winnie. "Sixty-three," he corrected. "O oh!" ejaculated Winnie in a long-drawn gasp. "And you you were only twenty-five when you married her!" "When sho married me," the Widower Interposed mildly. "Yes; I couldn't help that, you know. It was three years ago now, so I became considerably older as we went along." "She was old enough to have been your grandmother!" exclaimed Winnie Indignantly. "True; but sho would never have consented to act in that relation towards me though, of course, I should have preferred it, if It could have been arranged." "I feel," declared Winnie severely, "that we are treating the subject much too flippantly." "I feel that, too," he agreed. "Marriage," sho continued, Ignoring his interruption, "even with an elderly lady, Is a subject that should bo discussed in a spirit of proper reverence. Marriage is a beautiful and romantic idea" "Yes." he said. "Go on." "It Is," said Winnie, warming to her theme, "the most blissful state in
which human beings can exist" "Pardon me," interrupted the Widower, but do you think 'blissful' Is exactly the right word to to express your Idea?" "Certainly," said Winnie, with asperity. "Cases havo been known," he observed, in an impersonal tone, "where
there has been quite a resretaJile
I teB j-our pardon." satd tho WId itaii of this part cular St really havo sense. "'
ower
somehow
"With the help of travel and Monte
Carlo," suggested Winnie, a little ma
liciously.
Precisely." he agreed, quite un-
offended. "And. if you have done
condoling, we "
I've not done," she Interposed.
"ThouKh I don't believe you rennlro
to be condoned with a bit What's tho !
good of a man pretending to be sorry
wnen ne isn tv '
That's exactly what I say." re
marked the Widower, brlchtoninir.
What's the good?"
Winnie frowned; she felt that her
ethical sense was in some danger of outrage by this practical view of the matter.
Well, then don't pretend." she re
torted. "Cortainly not, If you wish It." he nssonted cheerfully. "Lot us talk about" "No." put In Winnie firmly, "not yot "It's It's hardly decent, I think, to dismiss a melancholy subject In such an off-hand way." "Well, perhaps not." agreed the Widower. In a resigned tone. "Only, if It's all tho same to you, I" "It Isn't." she cut him short. Tho Wldowor spreM out his hands deprecatlngly. "Of course." he admitted, with an amlablo smile. Winnie was silent for a moment Then she looked up suddenly, fixing her large, blue, childish eyes on the Widower's abstracted countenance. "I can't think," she protested, "what on earth ever made you marry her." The Widower withdrew his gaze slowly from vacancy and let It rest on her face with mild wonder.
iou dldn t know my wifo,"
rcmarKeu cryptically. "I don't soe that would havo helped to explain what made you marry hor," persisted Winnie. "It would have helped Immensely," ho corrected. "It would have nfforded a complete and satisfactory explanation, in fact." Wlnnlo shook her head. ( "I don't understand," she admitted. "It has puzzled mo ever since especially as . . . as"- Sho faltered and blushed. "Exactly," said tho Wldowor.
a vegetarian"
"Food has nothing to do with marriage," retorted Winnie. Tho Widower shook his head sadly. "You've not been married," ho sighed, "so you don't know." "That's true," conceded Winnie meditatively. "I don't know at least rot yet" "There's no reason why you should not," put In the Widower, with sudden oagorncss. "Oh. but I am not sure that I want to," she objected. "You would then enjoy the advantage of bolng in a position to provo your assertion," ho urged. "About food? she Inquired innocontly. "And the other things." ho added. "Tho romantic beauty and tho blissfulness, you know." "And supposing I found when It was too late that I was wrong?" sho demurred. "You wouldn't." said the Widower, with emphasis. "You would find thnt in your case theory and practice would entirely coincide. To begin
wim, you are not a vegetarian." "But." protested Winnie, "my husband might insist upon making me become one." "I can nnswor for him," said tho Widower decisively. "Do you know Winnie by tho way, you don't mind my calling you 'Wlnnlo,' do you? You see, I have known you cer slnco you
wero a imio oaoy. ' "You havo known me just six years," corrected Winnie sternly, "since I was sixteen." "Really, said tho Widower, "I imagined I was quito under the impression. In fact, that I had known
he; you much longer."
, you haven't," said Wlnnlo. "And "Quite," ho agreed "for tho purpose. And 'Wlnnlo has always struck me
as bolng tho very prettiest name a girl could have Winnie." "I didn't Bay you could," sho exclaimed. "I have a wonderful way of taidng things for grnnted," explained tho Widower airily. "IJut, do you know, It just occurred to me while you wore talking and while you woro showing mo what a beautiful thing marrlngo might bo with a sweet girl (who
What a lot of things people hide
from each other!
There is not a particle of senso back
of a great deal of hope.
We don't like people who are nlways
fussing about hard times.
There are only two ways to guess,
but a man oftener guesses wrong than
ngnt
Whoso fault was It? In tho opinion of the man you are wrangling with, it
was yours.
People are usually willing to do their
duty, but they do not liko to do too
much of it.
Peoplo expect so much that they
fear tho worst when they havo plenty.
I he only excuso for a man school
teacher Is that he whips harder than
a woman.
If you keep on nsking for good nd
vice, some day you will get it and
won t like It
Thore Is always material for a fierce political quarrel if you can find fools
to engage In It.
Tho newspaper a man takes Is very
much liko the town In which he lives
never satisfactory..
People will be all right as soon as they forget this year and begin to hope
for next year.
Consldoring the annoyances of life, a patient man or woman Is entitled to
a great deal of credit.
The smaller the woman the larger the hat she looks nt when she goes Into
a millinery store.
The woman who only powders feels mighty superior to the one who also
paints her cheeks.
A bald-headed man makes a good
deal better appearance than a man
with a whole lot of bushy hair.
Thero should be fewer warships built
in time of peace and more homes for
old peoplo neglected by their kin. Some men's systems of reform close
ly resemble a boy's method of driving
cattle to "holler" as loudly as pos slble.
To the real strict church observer there occur about forty seasons In a year when partlos must be given with the blinds down and the news kept out
or tne paper.
A woman hasn't thorouchly learned
the art of shopping If she can't make
the rounds down town without spend ing a cent
You nover hear a girl say she hope3
to marry a man who will love her truly
and sincerely; she always says she
wants to marry a rich man. Girls do
not believe in love as much as they
pre ienu to. You must have noticed that army of
ficers are very thrifty in their love
affairs; they never marry poor girls
wno ueiong to big families.
By the timo a spinster has reached forty years of age sho has a horror of hearing of a marriage in which the
bride is elderly because she knows that every one she meets will nay. archly: "There Is still hope for you." How many agreeable things do you hear during tho day, and how many
disagreeable tilings? We kept count
to-day, with this result: Agreeable, none; disagreeable, thirty-seven.
e once knew a man who seemed to
If ho hasn't sense,"
no ono has." He
tho biggest dunce
in town, and we are-discouraged. There should be more written contracts and fewer "understandings." Half the quarrels between men originate because they do not understand agreements alike. Written contracts would avoid all this.
When a young man starts In busi
ness without much capital It Is customary to praise his pluck, though the quality known as pluck is often an indifference to the possible creditors who will suffer by his failure. A rich man's daughter shows It In the daintiness of her apparel all her life, but a rich man's son Is as dirty and dusty and unkempt ns a poor man's son until ho Is grown. Atchison (Kan.) Globe. If the women are seeking a field of reform, let them find It In themselves Just before Christmas. This is the season when a woman works herself to death providing silly and worthless things to give to peoplo she cares nothing for. and all at an expense to her husband, whom she Is supposed to dearly love. This Is a field that needs workers worse than all others, and every woman In It hns only to work on herself to accomplish n ncoded reform. Atchison (Knn.) Globe.
and fortune seekerB, says a Paris cable.
uocauso or his frivolous habits and wild and reckless living, dissipating two fortunes ns Boon as his fingers touched them, he was branded "a gay young dog," and hla efforts to find a bride with a bank account sufficient to
maintain his mortgaue-nlastered es
tales has associated his name In more
than one escapado with Cupid that did
not resound to his credit.
lummanuoi Theodoric Bernard d" Albert de Luynes due de Chaulnes et
de I'icqulgney. which same Is his full
title without a single omission, is a
uesconciant or oan of the oldest and proudest families of France, Indeed, of tho continent. Unfortunately scandal has touched tho family of recent years, and tho duke's mother, the beautiful Princess Sophie Gnlltzin, a Russian Noblewoman, frivolous, brll-
nam nnu potted was tho center of an unpleasant affair with the Comtc do
Dion twenty-five years aco.
As for the due de Chaulnes. soclotv
has looked rather leniently upon his wildness. Brought un with his sister.
inerese, now Duchess d Uzes. in sur
roundlngs that were almost cloisteral
in the gloomy ancient palace, ho luher
neu tne run loving nature of his
mother and found his everv instinct
vigorously repressed. Family rcstric
tions once removed, however, he en
tered upon the lifo of the cav world
.... -
wun a zest that soon made him notor lous throughout Europe.
Iiandfomo and gracious in manner.
he quickly dissipated two small for
tunes, and his name betran to bo nssn-
elated with wealthy American girls ns
a lortuno hunter. His really flno es
täte In the Department of La Snrte
early began to feel tho burden of debt
and his town house in the Pare Mon-
ccau quarter of Paris to groan for ad
ditional funds with which to support Its state.
The eagerness of the Vounz duke to
repair these losses and his unfeigned desiro to fit himself out with a fresh
fortuno by selling his title and his family name for as IiIkIi a flirure as
possiblo brought him some notoriety a few years ago. Ono of his former flanccos was Miss Gebhart, niece of
i-rcuerlck Gcbhart and of Mrs. Fred-
crick NellEon of New York. The engagomont Is said to have been broken
oecnuso of tho duko's financial exac
tions.
A still more notorious Instance, how
ever, was thnt of his engagement to Princess Katherine Yurlewskn. the
youngest of tho natural children of
Emperor Alexander II of Russia, by Princess Dolgorouka, whom tho Em
peror married morganatlcally a few months before his assassination and a number of years after the birth of their three children.
Tho Princess Dolgorouka is. in snlto
of her great fortune, reputed to be extremely niggardly, and she was so shocked at the duke's pecuniary demands at the time of the enjracement
to her daughter that she lit all Europe know tho reasons which prompted her to reject him as a son-in-law. He then resumed his quest throughout Europe.
The immediate family history of tho
young duke Is piquant In the extreme and not without an element of real pathos. The rare beauty and charm
of his Russian mother, oven during
tne lifetime of her husband, was an
open offense to the bigoted old duchess of Chevreuse. Tho duke's father, com-
pletoly dominated by the old duch
ess, did little to lighten existence for
his duchess and at his death the rupture became complete.
The young duchess, careless. Infin
itely bored with her dull surroundincs.
and lacking In discretion, allowed tho Comte do Dion to become her cham
pion. While she never lost her nonu-
larity. this frank repudiation of tho
conventions, nbove all in a foreigner,
estranged ncr rrom the old duchess's friends and compromised her in tho cye3 of tho law. She finally was driven from the palace of tho duchess
of Chevreuse, who undertook to rear her two grandchildren.
A sensational but futile attemnt was
made later by the mother and the Comte do Dion to kidnap them served ngaln to draw attention to her after
society had forgotten her very exist-
enre.
Broken In spirit and deserted even
by the comte, the young duchess re
sorted to morphine and died some
two years later In an apartment that
was little better than a garret. In ono
of tho most unsavory portions of Paris. A maid, as poverty stricken as she was, was with her at the time of her death
and was the solo attendant.
necessity.
Only live of our President u dor fifty years old when lnau Pierce, Grant, Garfield, Ch, , Roosevelt. It Is asserted that a die bread makes youngsters k: longer-lived than If they f. ' on bread mado from wheat i, Tho custom-house nuthori" decided to classify edible ft,. Panada or other foreign cm "poultry" and mako them p.. such. A curious custom exists In I. servnnt is never permitted to
to guests. It is tho nriviliL.
daughter to make the boverai
tho guest who has last arru.
tho same.
The whistling tree of Sou !,
East Africa, is so called from i
like sounds made by the win 1
branches. The sound Is nus. ,i
bored by au insect in the siilu.
branches.
Co-operative arartment h ..
popular in Copenhagen, the . .
Denmark. Six, eight or tm
have their food prepared in
en by community cooks, aivl
tern Is not only cconomi- il
rule the cooking Is excellent genet a! satisfaction.
Spiders are often trrarhf-
panlons, and when a r-i. paired the wife often inake ..
her husband. Two spIder ameeting on a web will flfht :
if they are fairly well matt hf ono Is smaller It will rapM!-. tho noxt branch by a thn a l .t off. The large, fat spid. r most savage fighters. Hon do not fight so much.
SUNFLOWER PHILOSOPHY.
A wldowor uses his rhll!r.
excuso for marrying again, t
ns he docs for going to the fir
You might as well try to .
gun slow as to make som' :.
moderately.
Tho man who is the tru' f
tho people Is nover the ono w.v
the most time telling tin' in .i'
When a man tells his trow
listener's sympathies are ui tho other man. who is not f him.
The trouble with the worn-:
tolling them you like them m.
regard you as their pris-on r
When a man Is n failure
tailor ho talks a good deal i
gaging in tho business at wfi
If you want to succeed iti
munity, the hatred and tv.
some men Is as necessary a pect of others.
After a man passes 50 h f
If ho waits to do a task unt like it, he will never get it i
Somehow a man feels that
is not treating him right 41
comes back, after a long a' finds that it progressed wltlv
When you knsw a sucqt -f
you also know of somo little v
that keeps him from sue ct
great deal bettor. Atchison Globe.
Poor Lo's Epitaph.
Tho epltnh collector displayed on-
tnusiastlcally the photograph of a
severe and stately marble tomb.
"A new epitaph," ho said, "and one
of tho best In my collection. It Is tho
opltaph of a body of Indians slain In
battle near Cooperstown. It was com-
posed by a clergyman, W. W. Lord,
and i consider it most poetical."
The opltaph upon tho stately tomb
was i;s rouows:
wnue mnn, greeting! we, near
whoso bonos you stand, wero Iroquois. "Tho wide land which now is yours was ours. "Friendly hands havo given hack to us enough for a tomb "Philadelphia Bulletin.
A Busy Time. On n windy day It is quite trying for a woman to attempt to hold up her tfdrt, hold on her hat and hold her tongue all at once. Philadelphia Record.
Not Exorbitant. Tho summer resident looked sharn-
ly at Mr. Jnmeson's "guileless moon
face, and then at the mild and none-
too sprightly horse ho was offerlnc for
sale.
"Don't you think $150 rather a stiff
prlco to ask for a horse like that?"
asked tho summer resident. "How old Is he?"
"He's only Jest thutty." Bald Mr.
Jameson, calmly.
rhlrty years old, and you exnect
to get $150 for him!"
"I don't know ns I expect to net It"
said -Mr. Jameson, without rancor, "but It seems as If I'd ought to havo
full ns much as that It don't como
to but five dollars a year, and he's
cost mo a good deal moro'n that most yea r s.' ' You th's Companion.
Necessities of Modern Methods.
An unofficial estlmnto places at
about 8,000,000 tho number of tele
phones now In uso In tho world. This
aggregate hns been reached In n llttlo over .10 years. Modern business would
etnggor fqr a season of tho" "hello" In
strument wero to drop suddenly from availability. Yet such a disappearance would In visible effect scarcely, comparo with an unexpected lapse in tho electric light Invention a development practically of tho last 25 years.
The Gentle Rebuff. Robert W. Hebberd. N"(w
commissioner of charities. an address at a recent phi
dinner in this way: "Yes, immeasurable are that tho helpers of the poor -ers after charity for their brothers, undergo. "A friend of mine, a M '' ister in a small Western t'w the other day of his last r unkind one. "Entering the office of the ! ly, the minister said to the ( "I am soliciting aid for man of refinement and I" who is In dire need of a ; money, but who Is far too i r to make his sufferings know "'Why,' exclaimed the e lng up his eye-shade. 'I'm chap In the village who ar description. What's this t name?' "'I regret,' said the miI'm not nt liberty to disrlo "'Why, It must bo me.' -i tor. 'It Is me, sure. H'av you, parson, In your gool
Most Dangerous Anima "What Is the most dan?the wild animals that I hi tered? Tho rhinoceros." - . Bradley, one of the blg ga of tho world. "In equatorial Africa o tho rhinoceros almost ev. r the high land and In the tho open country and in You will find him when yc pect him, and most often w ing through his habitat, w conscious of his presence denly hear his 'chug, eh God help you If you are i ' with a rlflo of large caliber ' lng steel bullets. Your on'y to do a swift side-step, and ' you havo only three shots '
count the brain, tne hock shot. When h'c is charginK Is impo3slble for you to ra one." Locating the Trouble Customer (looking at bin' glass) The trousers arc m they ore wearing this sr th6y? They seem to be o i' Indignant Rendy-Mndr Merchant Mein frend, d vns all right, but your hg shtyle.
Easy Money. "Authors would do well
royal weddings." "Why so?" "nnrtiniiii nn (tmoo neMSlOnS "
easy to collect the royaltl1
more American.
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