Jasper Weekly Courier, Volume 51, Number 16, Jasper, Dubois County, 1 January 1909 — Page 6
WEEKLY COUHIO
BI3X 131). DOANK, PublUhor.
Win nte ana the Widobver
USPEK,
INDIANA.
A COMEDO Iff OJVZ SCEiB
The flying machine will make th( auto look up to It. anyhow!
To aaeortaln the latest In ladles'
hoso, take a mouse to the ball.
It s the first tlnie" said Winnie. "Especially as that was the case." letting her eyes droop. "It's the first; "Don't be absurd!" exclninuul Wintime that we have boon quite alone nlo wrathfully. "All the namo, I together since It happened." : should like to know." sho added, with The WidOWar eemt! Klrnrfc llV the trim f(n In In narlltinnliip ",..1,.,. ..... .1 .
- - - -.---.... jiuiuuuvti;t .1 1 i.i k uiiiiiu circumstance, ; you ntarrv her?"
When I was a boy. the only training
school in our town was tho wood-shod.
Sometimes a man's wife calls him
up on the 'phono Just to call him down. A woman of tact is one who makes a bashful man think ho did the pro
posing. A Balkan war cloud never amount? to much whon other things demand the attention of the public.
"Shall 1 tell YOU?" ho asked cnlnilv
"Do, please." entreated Winnio.
"iiie did." said the Wldowor. "Sho did. what do you moan?"
"I mean that sho made mo marry
ner, explained the widower patlent-
At tho age of SO President Diaz, of Mexico, will probably run again. Ho
has never heard of Dr. 01ser.
"Yes." he renlled. ronsl.lprlnelv "I
bellove it Is I positively bolieve It is." "I I bono." she said timidly, "I hope you've you've got over it by now." ThO WldowAr rflfWte.1
"I think I have." hi nnawcroil rnn. 1 Iv
sclontlously. "I'm almost sure 1 have. ' "Your wife?" demanded Winnie, You see, I have been trying hard,' oponing wide eyes of aniazemont upon traveling and all that sort of thing, i him. you know. I finished up at Monte ' "Yes. Sho was a woman of the most Carlo. The place cheered me wonder- extraordinary determination. She was fully. I lost quite a lot of money at very rich, too." He s'ghod. "Money is the tables." I such a power." ho added. "I think that was very wrong of "Then." said Winnie, with an air of you." said Winnie sternly. "Gambling stern rebuke, "it was not a love match is wicked." ! at all?"
"Ah. but if you knew that a relief "Well, perhaps not exactly what you it was to be able to do something ! would describe as a lovo match." ho wicked again." sighed the Widower, ' conceded; "although she pretended to
wasn't n vogotnrtan) it Just occurred to mo that I was most frightfully fonf of you" "Ob," said Winnie, rising. "Thero'i tho noxt danco beginning, and 1" "Sit down," said tho Wldowor placing n detaining hand on her arm. "Nover mind tho next dance. Whal do you think I came hero for tonight) I didn't come to danco. I camo to see you. 1 have been waiting to see
you ror ror months; but thoy told me you wore ongagod, and I kept away." "I I broko It off," sho murmured, looking down. "Was was be a vegetarian?" asked
mo wldowor anxiously. Winnio raised hor eyes to his, and her cheoks turned suddenly crimson. "No, but I, I" Tho Wldowor gave a littlo triumphant laugh. "My darling," ho whispered In her
ear, "we can make It up to each other all tho rest of our lives!" The Sketch.
DUC IS GAY DOG
Theodora' Hutband Has JTotun Many Wild OaU
SUNFLOWER PHILOSOPHY.
Anothor list of deformed words has
be.n put out by the simplified spellers.
but the public is taking precious little
interest in It.
'you Would Overlook if. Tin vnii knmr
I was gradually becoming almost too good to live. It gave me quite a shock
when I realised it. My constitution
be very devoted to me. I may add
mat sne nad a rathor remarkable way of showing her devotion at times."
wnai sort or a remarkable way?'
Mr Rockefollor says taut th Standard Oil Company Is "a hazardous undertaking." Most of us would bo willlag to take a chance In it.
..v.. . i .....--u ii. .uj uuusiiiuiiu.i j v ui a i urn... kuuiu way; would not have stood the strain much! inquired Winnie, becoming Interested 1j-.aa,.n.. , ' i a a ) ini.l ..... . . . ...
i am cenain. i ue pui you loo mucil 7 "The older men grow the worse thev ! "Hardly too much?" replied the geL" declared Winnie with the air of j Widower reflectively. "You see. the one delivering a profound epigram. Pr girl bad a somewhat fiery temper. "That, of course, is the natural tend-! Sae was terribly Jealous entirely, oh.
culj. mb aiiiiiiiHu. "it uoesn t do to u,lc unureiy wunout cjsc. no
t . ... IVmj-AHn.,X ai 1 1 . . .
A California man has obtained a divorce on tho ground that his wif cleaned kids with gasoline. The kids,
however, happened to be their children.
A husky Pennsylvania of 97 years hns just sworn off the tobacco habit.
Tho average smoker will cheerfully accept that age as the nicotine deadline. The general introduction of coblecs corn, recently discovered in Illinois.
would settle that long-discussed nrob-
K m in etiquette of the proper way to
eat the roasted oar.
check it beyond a certain point." He
bigneu again at this sudden contemplation of man's innate depravity. "It's like suppressing measles." he added a
I wie inconsequenuy.
w bat is?" she asked, regarding her
tan. "Cwrbing man's natural tendency to
grow worse," ne explained, "beyond a
cortain point, it often leads to more
aangerous complications." "In your case I do trust." exclaimed Winnio in a tone of extreme solicitude, "that the the complications have not yet become as bad as all that." "Fortunately, no," he assured her. "Monte Carlo just saved me. You have no idea what an excellent safety valve for suppressed tendencies Monto Carlo is. It's a most terribly wicked place." "I Should lova ta en thorp" ht
"
If Kaiser Wilhelm can make It conx nlont to visit tho United States he may bo assured of a grand reception, with full pormlsslon to do as much talking as he pleases. A New York druggist has been sont to the penitentiary for soiling bogus mineral water. He probably would have accepted a fine as "something Just as good."
A man enlisted in tho army the oh- r .lay instead of "spending" a life of idleness blowing in a fortune." He bt rame a soldier simply because he didn't want to soldier.
Lhaaea. the mysterious capital of TMcpt, Is beginning to show longings
for the amonltlos of Western civlllza tf-.n. It has just placed a contract With o Calcutta firm to supply a large rumber of European band Instruriints.
America Is not alono In her distress c ur a decreasing supply of domesUc
alior While gaining J.0OO.00O house-
1 ids Germany has lost 37.000 in her
total number of servants. Distaste for
vJut old fashioned Now Engländers cal. house work" grows steadily in
c.as-f-s from which such labor gener
al comes. Wo seam to see a distant
time when, in the absonco of ma-
ch;,.ry mechanically relieving har.
u- average housewife will have to be
Lf. i'wn "girl."
disapproval.
"I am surnrised tn h Mr Vnti Arnroca
an Inclination of that sort." he said sternly. "You have no tendencies that
require artificial evaporation." "Of course not." said Winnie hastily. 'How dare von surrest such ihlnrn
"The suggestion was yours," he
poimea out judicially. "You implied that" "I didn't," she interrupted, blushing. "I merely meant I should love to see the scenery." "Oh." said the Widower, looking; relieved, "the scenery, of course. The scenery. I may say. is beautiful. The sea Is a kind of greenish blue tint, and there are, I believe, hills and things, ana the Casino Is quite a fine building
especially jnsiue. The the trees " "Oh. never mind the trees!" Interrupted Winnie impatiently. "I wanted to talk to you about something else. I wanted to to condole with you." "Thanks," he murmured. "I shall be very pleased. I'm sure."
"Pleased?" She regarded him severely. "I mean pleased to be condoled with." he explained, "by you." "It must have been a great blow," observed Winnie in a tone of detached commiseration. "It was she never expected It." he sighed: "I meant a blow to you," corrected Winnie. "Oh to me! I eunnns t was- vna
no doubt It was though I managed
hastened to add. ".Nevertheless, she
would not allow me on any consideration to speak to a woman under fortyfive." "That must have been a great hardship," murmured Winnie.
"I could have supported it with equanimity," ho sighed. "But she latterly developed various uncomfortable eccentricities. Among other things sho became a vegetarian, and compelled mo to live on horbs like herself. Sho omhrnrxl ihn nl.cur.l
theory that two meals a day were enough for human boings to subsist upon, and from that moment I never knew what It was not to feel hungry. It was this practice. I bellove. that eventually carried her off." "She She Was not vrv vnitnn-""
hazarded Winnio.
Poor girl no! She she had boen
The Widower gazed at her with cold 1 believe. Rut she outgrew It. She
was in her sixty-fourth year jvhon she
"Sixty-four!" exclaimed Winnie. "Sixty-three," he corrected. "O oh!" ejaculated Winnie In a long-drawn gasp. "And you you were only twenty-five when you married her!" "When sho married me," the Wido wer Interposed mildly. "Yes; I couldn't help that, you know. It was three years ago now, so I became considerably older as we went along."
one was old enouirJi to have hrMn
your grandmother!" exclaimed Winnie
inuignnntiy. "True: but she would nnvur Imvn
consented to act in that relation towards me thouch. of
navo prorerred it. If It could have been arranged." "I feel," declared Winnie severely, "that we are treating the subject much too flippantly."
l ieei tnat, too," he agreed. "Marriage." she continued, ignoring his Interruption, "even with an elderly lady. Is a subtoet th.it ohmtlrl tin
discussed In a spirit of proper reverence. Marriage is a beautiful and romantic idea" "Yes." he said. "Go on." "It is." said Winnie, warming to her theme, "the most blissful state in which human beings can exist" "Pardon me," Interrupted the Widower, but do you think 'blissful' Is exactly the right word to to express your idea?"
Certainly," said Winnie, with as-
Ttie American Seomau's Friend So Ciftj cined in New York the other da a flrostory hotel for the use of sailor, in which, for lees money than is charged In tho cheap boarding-housr-s. sailors may get good board and lodging, with all the conveniences aflVTdpd in a gentleman's club. It Is tail to be the largest sailor's home in
the world. Apparently it Is not alone he jaronu of the boy who goes to sa that aro Interested In his welfare, lit kindly dteposod persons with ni .ney are seeing to it that he Is protected from unscrupulous mon and women In the largo cities where ho
land3. Astronomers are beginning to interest themselves In the reappearance of Halky's comot This Is the famous comet that blazed through the heavons In 145C, at about the time the Turks became masters of Constantinople. In those times It -was thought that comots portended disaster, and the good people of Christian Europe Insorted a prayer in their liturgy that they might bo savod from "the devil, the Turk and the comet." In 1CS0 Edmund Halloy, an English astronomor, predicted the reappearance of the comet of 145G, and conjectured that it was the same as that which had been seen In 1531 and 1C07. His
prediction was verified in 1C82, and the comet has since been known by his name. It is n-ext due some time botween 1910 and 1912, aa It last vlsltetf tho solar system in 1S35, and has a period of about seventy-six years. Of the short period comets, Bailor's takos tho longest to complete Its orblL The comot of 1SH has so groat an orbit that it is ostlmatod that Its visits to our systom occur at Intervals of a hundred thousand years.
somehow to bear up. Ne tu cede mnlis nerltv
NorLvTn't" 2! m. "Casos havo bcea known" he ob' unnSemenct W"h stln a 'persona, tone, "where "I bee your nanlon nM h tvi t ' thorc has been uIte a regretnble ower humbly K i 5 It LJl ' ?bsenco of tnls Particular ingredient, somehow-' ' P 6d throush! I believe. For instance, if your wife Is I a vegetarian"
hu ine neip or travel and Monte! Food w nothing to ,i
...... 0 w uvr niui ill .1 a
a. -wa 1' a .IttS.a.t Carlo." suecested U'tnnto itttia
liciously. "Precisely." he agreed, quite unoffended. "And, lf you have done condoling, we " "I've not done," she interposed. Though I don't believe you require to be condoned with a bit. What's the good of a man pretending to be sorry when he Isn't?" "That's cxactlr -what T civ " rn
marked the Widower, brightening. "What's the good?" Winnie frowned; she felt that her ethical sense -waä in some dangor of outrage by this practical view of the matter. "Well, then don't protend," she retorted. "Certainly not. If you wish It." he assented cheerfully. "Let us talk about "
"No." put In Winnie firmly, "not yoL "It's-lfs hardly decent, I think, to dismiss a melancholy subject In such an oH-hand way." "Well, perhaps not," agreed the Widower. In a resigned tone. "Only, if It's all the same to you, I " "It isn't." she cut him short. The Widower spread out his hands deprecatingly. "Of course." he admitted, with an amiable smile. Winnie was Kllnnt tnr a mmnt
Then she looked up suddenly, fixing her large, blue, childish eyes on the Widower's abstracted countenance. "I can't think." she protested, "what on earth ever made you marry her " The Widower withdrew his gaze slowly from vacancy and let it rest on her face with mild wonder. "You didn't know my wife," he remarked cryptically. "I don't see that would have helped
ij jaj,j.ii.i wuai maue you marry hor" persisted Winnie. "It would have helped Immensely," ho corrected. "It would have nfforded a complete and satisfactory explanation, in fact." 4 Winnio shook her head. "I don't understand," she admitted, it has puzzlod me cvor since especially as . . as" She faltered and blushed. "Exactly," said the Widower.
riage." retortod Winnie.
The Widower Bhook his head sadly. "You've not been married," he sighed, "so you don't know." "That's true." conceded Winnie meditatively. "I don't know at least rot yet" "Thore's no reason why you should not." put In the Widower, with sudden eagerness. "Oh. but I am not sure that I want to," she objected. "You would then enjoy the advantage of being in a position to prove your nssertlon," he urged. "About food? she Inquired Innocentir. "And the other thlnars " im nfii,i
"The romantic beauty and the blissfulness. you know." "And supposing I found when it was too late that I was wrong?" sho
uemurreci. "You wouldn't," said the Widower, with emphasis. "You would find that In your case theory and practice would entirely coincide. To begin with, you are not a vegetarian." "But." protested Winnio "mv
band might Insist upon making he come one."
1 can answer for lilm," sala tno
wiuower decisively. "Do you know Winnie by the way, you don't mind my calling you 'Winnie,' do you? You see, I have known you cvor since you
were u imie unuy. 11
ion nave Known mo Just six
years, corrected Winnie sternly,
"tu vu aixieen. "Koally. said tho VU
Imagined I was quite under tho Im
pression, in ract, that I had known
you mucn longer." ", you haven't," said Winnie. "And "Quite," ho agreed "for the purpose And 'Winnie' has always struck me as being tho very prettiest namo a girl could have Winnie." "I didn't say you could," sho o.xclaimed. "I have a wonderful way of taking things for granted," explained the W Idower airily. "Hut, do you know. It just occurred to mo while you wero talking and while you wore showlntr m? JI"hsit a ,boail"flil thing marriage might bo with a sweot girl (who
What a lot of things people hide from each other! There is not a particle of sense back of a great deal of hope. We don't like people who aro nlwnys
I uissing auout nard times. ! There are only two ways to guess, but a man offener guesses wrong than right. Whose fault, was It? In ihn m.lnlrm
of tho man you are wrangling with, it was yours. People are usually willing to do their duty, but they do not like to do too much of it. People expect so much that thoy fear the worst whon they havo plenty. Tho only excuso for a man school teacher Is that he whips hardor than a woman. If you keep on asking for good ndvice. some day you will get it and won't like it. There is always material for n flnrrn
political quarrel if you can find fnnls.
to engage In It. Tho newspaper a man takes Is very much like the town in which ho lives never satisfactory. People will be all right as soon as they forget this year and begin to hope for next year. Considering the annoyances of life, a patient man or woman is entitled to a great deal of credit. Tho smaller the woman tho larger the hat she looks at when she goes Into a millinery store. The woman who onlv nowilnrs fia
mighty superior to the one who also
pa mis ner cneous. A bald-headed man makes a good deal better appearanco than a man with a wholo lot of bushy hair. There should be fewer warships built In time of peace and more homes for old people neglected by their kin. Some men's systems of reform closely resemble a boy's raothod of driving cattle to "holler" as loudly as possible. To the real strict church observer
mere occur about forty seasons in a year when parties must be given with the blinds down and the news kept out of the paper. A woman hasn't thoroughly learned the nrt of shopping if she can't make the rounds down town without spending a cent. You never hear a girl say ?ho hopes
10 marry a man who will love her truly and sincerely; she always says she wants to marry a rich man. Girls do not believe In love as much as they pretend to.
You must have noticed that army officers are very thrifty in their love affairs; they never marry poor girls who belong to big families. By the time n spinster has reached forty years of age she has a horror of hearing of a marringe In which the bride Is elderly because she knows that every one she meets will ay. archly: "There is still hope for you." How many agreeable things do you hear during the day, and how many disagreeable things? We kept count to-day, with this result: Agreeable, none; disagreeable, thirty-seven. We once knew a man who seemed to really have sense. "If he hasn't sense." we used to think, "no ono has." He has turned out to he tho biggest dunce in town, and we are discouraged. There should be more written contracts and fewer "understandings."
nan me quarrels between men originate because they do not understand
agreements alike. Written contracts would avoid all this. When a young man starts in business without much capital It is customary to praise his pluck, though tho quality known as pluck Is often an Indifference to the possible creditors who will suffer by his failure. A rich man's daughter shows It In the daintiness of her apparel all her life, but a rich man's son is as dirty and dusty and unkempt as n poor man's son until ho Is grown. Atchison (Kan.) Globe. If the women are seeking a Held of reform, let them find It in themselves just before Christmas. Thl.s Is the season when n woman works herself to death providing silly and worthless things to give to people she cares nothing for, and all nt an expense to her
miHoanti, wnom siio is supposed to dearly love. This Is a field that needs workers worse than all others, and every woman In It hns only to work on herself to accomplish a neoded reform. Atchison (Kan.) Globe.
Theodora Shontz, tho pretty American heiress, who married due do Clmulups recently in Now York, married one of Luropo'a moat noted spendthrifts and fortuno seekers, snys a Paris cnblo IJecause .of his frivolous habits and wild and reckless living, dissipating two fortunes ns soon as his fingers touched them, he was branded "a gay young dog," and his efforts to find a bride with a bank account sulllclent to
iiiiiiuiaii ins mortgage-plastered estates hns associated his name In more thnn one escapade with Cupid that did not resound to his credit. Emmanuel Theodoric Poniard d' Albert do Luynes. due do Chaulnes et de Plcqulgney, which same is his full title without a single omission, is a descendant of one of the oldest and proudest families of Franco, Indeed, of the continent. Unfortunately scandal lias touched tho fnmliv nt
years, and the duke's mother, tho beautiful Princess Sophlo Galltzln, n llussian Noblewoman, frivolous, brilliant and petted was tho center of an unpleasant affair with the Comte do Dion twenty-flvo years ago. As for the due do Chaulnes, society lias looked rather leniently upon his
....u.oo. uiuugni up with his sister, Therese, now Duchess d'Uzes, in surroundings that were almost clolsteral n tho gloomy ancient palace, he inherited tho fun loving nature of ha mother and found his every Instinct vigorously repressed. Family restrlclions once removed, however, ho entered upon the life of tho gay world with a zest that soon made him notorious throughout Europe. Handsome anil prnnlmm In
a , , , O- - 'a It, .tlUIIIIUi, he quickly dissipated two small fortunes, and his namo began to bo associated with wealthy American girls as a fortpno hunter. His really fine estate in the Department of La Sarto oarly began to feel the burden of debt and his town house in tho Pare Monceau quarter of Paris to groan for additional funds with which to support
The eagerness of the young duko to repair these losses nnd his unfoignod desire to fit himself out with a fresh fortuno by selling bis title and his family name for as high a figure as possible brought him some notoriety a few years ago. Ono of his former fiancees was .Miss Gebhart, niece 0f TTCderick Gebhart and of Mrs. Frederick Nnllson of New York. The engagement is said to have been broken because of the duke's financial exactions.
A still more notorious instance, however, was that of his engagement to Princess Kntherino Yuriewska, the youngest of the natural children of Emperor Alexander II of Russia, by Princess Dolgoroukn. wlmm tlio irm.
peror married morganntlcally a few months beforo his assassination and a number of years after the birth of their three children. The Princess Dolgorouka Is, In splto of her great fortune, reputed to bo extremely niggardly, nnd sho was so shocked at the duke's pecuniary demands at the time of the engagement to her daughter that she let all Europe know the reasons which prompted her to reject him as a son-in-law. He then resumed his quest throughout Europe. The Immediate family hlstorv of the young duke is piquant in the extreme and not without an element of real pathos. Tho raro beauty and charm of his llussian mother, ovon .i..rin
the lifetime of her husband, was an open offense to the bigoted old duchess of Chevreuse. The duke's father, completely domlnnted by tho old duchess, did little to lighten existence for his duchess nnd at his death the rupture became complete. The young duchess, careless, infin
itely oorcu witn ner dull surroundings, nnd lacking In discretion, allowed the Comte do Dion to become her champion. While she never lost her popularity, this frank repudiation of the conventions, above all In a foreigner, estranged her from the old duchess's friends nnd compromised her in the eyes of the law. She flnnlly was driven from the palace of the duchess of Chevreuse, who undertook to rear her two grandchildren. A sensational but futile attempt was made later by tho mother and the Comte de Dion to kidnap them served again to draw attention to her after society had forgotten her very existence. Broken In spirit and deserted even
i me comte, tue young duchess resorted to morphine nnd died somo two years later In nu npartment that was little better thnn a garret, In one of the most unsavory portions of Paris. A maid, as poverty stricken ns sho was was with her at the time of her death and was the sole nttendant.
ITEMS OF INTEREST As a rule, vegetarians haw JompluxloiiH than people vl mal food. The first envelope ever nm ' u existence, and may he m, British Museum. Tho pawn shops n Berlin trolled by tho government. profits aro devoted entirely 1 . Prosperity and nlnnntw..
sether, declares a nmnufa. t . hard times a piano Is a l..x food times a necessity. Only five of our Presidents der fifty years old when lnai Pierco. Grant, Garlleld, CIcv u Itoosevelt. 4 It Is asserted that a diet . bread mnkes youngsters at.., longer-lived than if they f. ) . on bread mado from wheat" The custom-houso authorlM decided to elasslfv n.iit.ia
Canada or other foreign com, poultry" and mnko them pa such. A curious custom exists In Ja servant is never permitted to v. to guests. It Is the privilege t daughter to make the bevera- v tho guest who has la3t arrive t k the same. The whistling tree of South East Africa, Is so called from llko sounds mnde by the win i branches. The sound Is caused t bored by an Insect In -the splm branches. Co-oncratlvo nrnrtmn.it 1.,
P6pular in Copenhagen, the ra Denmark. Six, olght or ten f have their food prepared in c en by community cooks, nnd -tern is not only economical I rule the cooking Is excellent gcneinl sat isf art Ion. Spiders are often trencher 1 panlons, and when n con? ' paired the wife often make a her husband. Two spiders af meeting on n web will fieht ill if they are fairly well matru 1 ono is smaller it will rapMb the next branch by a thread u off. Tho large, fat spiders in most savage fighters. Hou do not light so much. SUNFLOWER PHILOSOPHY
A widower uses his chl!dr excuso for marrying ugain, t!. as he docs for going to the cir. n You might as well try to shoe gun slow ns to mnko some nv moderately., Tho man who Is the true fr tho people Is nevor tho one who the most time telling them ahWhen a man tells his trouM. listener's sympathies nre usual tho other man. who Is not bo him.
The troublo with the women telling thorn you like them maki regard you- as their prisoner. When a man is a failure a tailor he talks a good deal a' gaging in the business at whok If you want to succeed in a munlty, tho hatred and contfsome men is ns necessary as tl. poet of others. After a man passes SO ho fin ! if he waits to do a task until he f like It, he will never get it don Somehow a man feels that hi is not treating him right win comes back, after a long absener finds that it progressed wlthou When you" know a successfrv you also know of some little vi v that keeps him from succeeltr great deal better. Atchison ik Globe.
y
v it s
Poor Lo's Epitaph. Tho epltah collector displayed onthuslastlcally the photograph of a sovoro and stately marble tomb. "A new epitaph," ho said, "and ono of the best in my collection. It Is tho epitaph of n body of Indians slain in battlo near Cooperstown. It was composed by n clergyman, W. W. Lord, and I consider It most nnntlnni
The epltnph upon tho stately tomb was as follows: "Whito man, greeting! We, near whose bones you stand, woro Iroquois "Tho wide land which now Is yours wnß ours. "Friendly hands hnvn
us enough for a tomb "Philadelphia Bulletin.
A Dusy Time. On a windy dav it is miiin fr-i.- -
a woman to attempt to hold up her i'clrt. hold on hei- hat nml imi.i 1....
tonguo nil at onco. Philadelphia Hoc-ord.
Not Exorbitant. The summer resident looked sharply at Älr. Jameson's guileless moon face, and then nt tho mild and nonetoo sprightly horso ho was offering for sale. "Don't you think $150 rathor n stiff price to ask for a horse llko that?" asked tho summer resident. "How
oiu is nor "He's onlv lest flmttv" on I.I -t f -
Jameson, calmly. "Thirty years old, and you expect to get $11.0 for him!" 1 "I don't know ns I expect to get It " said Mr. Jameson, without rancor, "but it seems ns lf I'd ought to have full ns much as thnt It don't como
10 nut iivo dollars n year, and he's cost me a good deal moro'n that most
years, youth's Companion. Necessities of Modern Methods. An unofficial cstlmnto places at nbout 8.000.000 tho number nf tni.
phones now In use In tho world. This aggregate hns been ronched In n littlo over .'50 year.s. Modern business would stagger for a season of tho "hello" Instrument wero to drop suddenly from nvnllablllty. Yet such .a dfsnppearanco would In visible effect scarcely compare with an unexpected Inpso in tho electric light Invention a development practically of tho last 25 years.
The Gentle Rebuff. Robert W. Hebbcrd. New Y commissioner of charities, con an address at a recent philann dinner In this way:
"Yes, immeasurable nre the rr that the helpers of the poor, tin era after charity for their suTbrothers, undergo. "A friend of mine, a Method. Istor In a small Western town, the othsr day of his last rebuff a unkind one. "Entering the office of the loea ly, the minister cald to the edlto' "'I am soliciting aid for n 1 man of refinement and Inteli' who is In dire need of a littk r money, but who Is far too proud a to make his sufferings known "'Why,' exclaimed the editor , ing up his eye-shade, 'I'm tl t chap In tho village who answfri tlcscrintlon. What's this I'ntlc 1
name?' '"I regret,' Faid the minister 1 I'm not nt liberty to disclose it " 'Why, It must be mo,' said e tor. It is me, sure. Heaven 1 r you, parson. In your good work Most Dangerous Animal.
j "What Is the most dangerou- 1 tho wild animals that 1 have n tored? The rhinoceros." said .1 ' I Bradley, one of the big-game 1 nf tho world.
"In equatorial Africa you wi' the rhinoceros almost evcrywhrr the high lnnd and In tho low Un the open country and In tho 1 You will find him when you Ira pect him, nnd most often when Ing through his habitat, wboli conscious of his presence, you denly hear his 'chug, chug" God help you If you are not pre with a rlflo of large caliber an4 - o ing steel bullets. Your only char to do n Bwlft Bldc-step, nnd oven " ..ma 1. n .. n -. 1 . r i rfl. ulmlo t Vi II I
juu natu uiiij i..t-'u otiwio count tho brain, the neck and li -rt shot. When he is chnrglng head t 't Is impossible for you to reach f ' r ono."
Locating the Trouble. Customer (looking at himself glnss) The trousers uro not the I they aro wearing this season i they? They seem to bo out of - Iudlgnant Iteady-Mndo Clot''. Merchant Mein frondt, dose i ' vns nil right, but your logs vns on slitylc. Easy Money. "Authors would do well to dramatl royal weddings." "Why so?" 'Because on those occasions It Is easy to collect tho royalties." Da more American.
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