Jasper Weekly Courier, Volume 51, Number 14, Jasper, Dubois County, 18 December 1908 — Page 1
Jasper, Indiana, Fihdat, December 18, HH)8. No. 14, Vol. 51.
Riches Take Wings.
. . A CMmas Slorg Witti fin Unusual Erd'ne. it, i tine looking fellow. In his hands he carried , Uxlieci, though none too plump turkeys, and lieu sign behind him with its legend, "Turkey V ' ithin," gave a pretly good inkling of how he
'. V .:!.. c nnnno-li here to last a week, he soliloquized
he Wed to and fro on the edge cf the sidewalk. ;uess that turkey they Ve got at Urne lays overall tnese but then turkey is a thing you can't have coo much of. w then a nan approached him irom the shadows -inn v ith a :-aint loo!; and a coat that would fail to atncti the attention ot a rncr gatherer. It was the usual enuet for 'al;itie assistance.' q mi's they took all my spare change inside, panar. vt hold this -tutk' while I look.' ' He fund a quarter and handed it to the beggar, who Lei to move away, but a i idea, seemed tD strike the VrrirleHow and he called the man back. m that d ad straight about your having children at , ummd nothing to eat?' It's true sir, so help me God. Th 'n take this turkey.' , . AbUk farther up an old woman crouncned m the lee of n hHi board fence grinding out some melancnoly tune n a wheezy hand organ. Without a word the young fellow approached her and dropped one of the remaining turm vs in her lap. , . . ... Ym a trifle short on poultry,' he said, with a merry chik-k!r, as he hopped aboard his street car. On the opposite seat of the dummy sat an urchin, red eved and sobbing. . , What's the matter?' asked the turkey dispenser of the rrij man. . ,. . , Yi: ee the kid's mother is a poor woman living out mar the park, and she sent him down town tobuj a cheap frkev for their Christmas dinner. Well, he got it right e ,.uA but some thief snatched it from him at the corni r f Seventh street. That's what's the trouble. Sav take this home to your mother, said the man who . :.! f. o vnfflo n; hp Aim? the bird across the car
an 1 i;.me near knocking off the gnpman s cap m doing so.
The Christmas Stocking.
A Parody by Frank J. Bonnhlle. , How dear to this lies rt is the stock ing of childhood when fond recollection presents it to view! On Christmas St. Nick came from frost whitened wild wood with every loved toy which my infancy knew. The wide spreading chimney, t.-'e sled vhich stood by it, a horse and . some books remember them all a doll for- my sister, and baby house nigh it, and then the full stocking, which hung on the wall the Santa Claus stocking, the bountiful stocking, the Christmas mom stocking which hung on the wall! The well stuffed envelope I hailed as a treasure as early that morning I opened my eyes and found there the source of an exquisite pleasure, the purest and sweetest tnat nature supplies How ardent I .seized it with hands that were glowing and bück t o my white sheeted bed went with ah, then soon,
with the emblems of love overflowing, was hapty in what to my lot did befall the Santa Claus stocking, the generous stocking, the Christmas morn stocking which hung on the wall! H o w sweet though i t s round open t o explore it as poised on my knee it inclined to my view! Not a hot, tempting breakfast could make me ignore it for longer a t most than a minute o r two, And now far removed from the loved situation, the tear of regret will intrusively fall as fancy reverts to my youth's habitation and sighs o'er the stocking which hung on the wall the Santa Claus stocking, the plethoric stocking, the Christmas morn stocking which hung oa the wall! But grown people find there's a later sensation as grateful as any they felt long ago. It comes when they witness the glad exultation which on Xmas morn their own offspring show. And now, dear Santa Claus, let me petition your favor for clv'dren, bo h large ones and small. Bring all the kight hopes to the fullest fruition that rests in each stocking which hangs
What Attracted the Attention of.ihe. Solemn Faced Man. j On.fi of our southern salesmen'
brought home the following from his last trip: The proprietor of a tnnyard built a stand on one of the main streets of a Virginia town for the purpose of selling leather and buying new hides. When he hail completed the building, he considered for a long time what sort of a sign to nut up to at-
tract attention to the new estaDiisamont. Finally a happy thought struck him. He bored an auger hole through the doorpost and stuck a calf's tail into it with the tufted end outside.
After awhile he saw a solemn faced man standing near the door looking at the sign. The tanner watched him a minute and then stepped ou and addressed him. "Good morning, sir!" he said. "Mornirg!" said the other, without, tnk-ine his eves oil the siirn.
"Want to buy leather .-" askea tne
tanner.
"No."
"Got any hides to sell?"
U V J,
"Are you a fanner?"
"No." . J
iUciuKiiii. .r
in
ll.t
A UiUmrra's Horm. , out?- : tk M'.heil deeply and
u-j!s lnMi-t nlli'L'tcd to tears.
Harold." said, "declares that if I don't marry him he will end, his , life, ami 1 am afraid he will.".-. She stifled a sob, then continued: "And Handolph declares. that.ffIv-
IUUI1 t JllUUjr 111111 HC fc". JTVt itics and become great and fimqu,.. and then he says 1 shall see .what I have missed, and I am afraid he. will i keep his word too."
Overcome by .emotion, she ounea her face in her hands, not knowing whether to sn'C a life or to spare the country another politician.
The First Censut. The idea of the census originated among the Unmans, when a group , of the many functions performed, 1 1 . 1 .1 . , n1lf1 SWtnCtT. Tt
UV IIJU Hip" i"tivi i mum u vceived the name of t ens is. It was, taken even- five years and indicated, not only tie number of the respcor. live classes of the people, but their
domestic -options as nusoaupa, wives, fathers mothers, sonä and
daughters. The first modern nation to ta' n. up the census was tha TJnitcd St te of America in 1790.
The first BritMi census ras m 1801,
but this Uni not include lreianu. .
'No."
"No." - "Doctor?" "No." "Wlinf nrf vmi. ihnn ?"
"I am a n ulosonher. 1 vc been
standing here for an hour trying to
fienre out how that calt got tnrougn
that auger hole." Hoot Strap
i i i ime near KnOCKlng Oil uie gupiiiau öucip iruinon tnat resus 111 eueu mwckihü wuku u In tl-e morninp: some one knocked at his "bedroom door. 0n thewall-the wealthy . chi'd's siodnng, m- mof for?' i the poor urchin's stocfansrr yes, fill!
Mauer enough: Somebody got into the larder during TTl San in "AhS that his sister, who, fro, the ter News. It is Kinder bum,
1 i . n' i i.: ,,-nri Uli- o irnnr
nau canea nun, piuuuuicu nim 'Say, sis.'
lit 1U. ... , ,.
'Doesn't the Bible say something aoouc casting m vom
but it
A CHRISTMAS DINNER.
hav
M
You Don't Jfeed A Town Crier!
to emphasize therarits of yocr btKuiess or annoimce your special sales. A straight story, told in a straight way to this readers of thai paper will quickly reach the cars of the thoughtful, intelligent Iwying psblfc, the people who hiv money in their pockets, j"id the people who listen to asori nid not UOJM. O'OT
ho&s, Mjfbw yon& Jistoftbtfed of paoTte yon 5?eaJ to. Call sad tm them t this
COntento WIICICUX tXlC va iuuuna-nu( wuoin-u ui "uui, oa iVki- rtf KiiHar A rrppsp. 2 tiirkies. 2 rabbits. 4 wild ducks
l KJJ Jl UUVVVIJ Ö ' ' 2 woodcocks, 6 snipes and 4 partridges; 2 neat's tongues, 7 hlflpkhmls and fi nip-eons. It is suDDOsed a
ve-y g.eat curiosity was made by Mrs. Dorothy Patterson housekeeper at Howiek. It was near 9 feet in circumftri i t -r a Ml i.t i.
e.ice at bottom, weigns aooui iz stones, ui tase two . ncoi.t it- fn tnhip- it is npatlv fittpd with a. case
and four small wheels to facilitate its use to every guest
tnaC mCimea tO UU.ltu.ivt: ux uo tuuicnw uu iauic. jliiuo ii . TTTT.1 ?1
is no wonder Ueorge wiener sung so merrny: 5so new if came oar joyfulett feaf t 1 et ovcry man Ve jo y. Kach ro)i wi'li ivy leaves is lr st ' An8 v r post with n!y. ' Tiioiich some churls at onr ntfrth r jrfne, Round roar foihwds parlamls twine, Drown sorrow in a cup of wine, And let im all b.' merry.
Necessary Then.
fIt ain't true." said the milkman.
"that we always put chalk in our
milk."
fDo vou mean to sav." demanded
Mrs. Houskeep, "that you never do
it?"
"Well er never except after a
I heavy rair when the water gits brown and muddy." Ohio Steto
Journal.
Mhp BIllv. I rorret3 ter sav aat
O . c our engagement has got ter be broke off.
Billy Wot's de trouble now? Mas? Me ma won't leave me wear
yer ring no more, 'cos it makes ma
finger black. Leslie's WeeKiy.
Sarcasm.
"Shorrv I'm sho late, m'dear,'
hepan Dincle apologetically, "but
jshome fresh jokers stopped me an
would n t lemme go" -
"Indeed!" interrupted Ins True.
"Why didn't vou take the brick out
of vour lint and hit them witn itr
Catholic Standard and Timea.
How Ho Won Her.
"The man 1 marrv." said the girl
in the parlor scene, "must be but a
little lower than the angeis. "Well, what's the matter with
me?" queried the young man as he
dropped on, his Knees at nor ieet. "You see, I'm a little lower than one of them." Houston. Post
CONDENSED STORIES. ' ; A Young Minister! Verbosity Bring Pointed Reproof. When t! e Itev. .1. B. Gould, D. D., was pastor of the First Methodist Episcopal church in Bangor, Me., he accepted an invitation to deliv
er an address at some srt 01 an evening gathering in Brewer, .just across the Penobscot river. A young minister was invited tc moke a few introductory remark
Ibut with a fatuity not uncommon among young and aspiring orators, he lengthened his speech until he had consumed three-quarters of an hour. In a community where the
' curfew rings at 9 o'clock that meant
that Dr. Gould would not nave time to deliver his speech, and the fol-' lowing is the substance of what, he, said: "The time is so far spent that ifc is inadvisable to deliver the addresf which I had prepared. In thecourae. of hi? lengthy remarks the young brother referred frequently to the "great gun' who was to follow: h;nu 1 think I may safely say to the young brother that the people, would he better pleased if he wtuld decrease the length and increaet t. caliber of his gun." '
"Your frlcud D'Auber la an artlsL
Isn't he?" '
"Yes, tbnt fellow can draw any
thing."
"Indeed! I have heard It said that he
hnsn't drawn a sober breath for
years." Philadelphia Press.
Division of Labor.
The Last Camp-Fire
Sharlot M. Hall, in Out West Scar not earth's breast that I may have Somewhere above her heart a grave; Mine was a life whose swift desire Bent ever less to dust than fire; Then through the swift, white path of flame Send back my soul to whence it came; From some great peak, storm-challenging, My death-fire to the heavens fling; The rocks my altar, and above The still eyes of the stars I love; No hymn, save as the midnight'; wind Comes whispering to seek his kind. . .
To be, if nature will, at length ' Part of some great tree's noble str n h; Growth of the grass; to live ane In many a wild flower's richer h u ; Find immortality indeed In ripened heart of fruit and seed. Time grants not any m":i redress Of his broad law. ftrtfulness I parley not with shaft and stone , Content that in the perfume blown From next year's hillsides something sweet, And mine, shall make earth more complete,
'Excuse me. icy cood man, but are
rou iure you know tho difference be
twecn edible mushrooms ana poison on ones?"
"Oh. that's nothing to met I don'l
I tat em; I sell 'emr-Sourlre.
H..fLuheat Cake.
Thore is nothing on the dining . , 1 iat could
roora lauiu ,
r ..in Hin an f m 1 1 ! n wvy -
i . i .i naVna 'l hey are
iaco aa uutM"'-" . sure to make the comp ex.on yellow w Ii. .....4 1 Ana Don t
1 T1 Til 11 111 ILIUUUI "
ana coruu r-r- ...
insult your face iy Pul""B wheat kesinto it. head
entire list ot compiew uv-
Repulsed. The elTort to prod pastors and church members to greater cffuiTeness in welcoming strangers to ppb-
lie services may lead to veraomg hospitality in various ways. One of the ways was revealed to a warm hearted western pastor. Coming down from the pulpit after the earning sermon, he found a stranger
in the person oi a lair naireu aF.eue t . it i -
anu, greeting nur vwui a iu Imndelasn. said: "I am very glad to
see vou. I want you to feel at home here. I'd like to become acquaujtp, ed wi th you. I f you'll give your adI'll pall and see von." "Thank
you," she replied, "hut I have a fcl-
iOwi vongrcgaiiuuiiuai..
Nearly Throufln. A slrnnpor entered a church in
iÖ middle of the sermon and seat-
mi himself in the back pew After
awhile he iPegan to iidget. Leaning
over to the white Haired man at nia side, evidently an old member of
the congregation, nc wuisiwjcu.
"J low long has ne Deen prc-Bcu-f ng?" "Thirtv or forty years, I think,"
the old man answered. "I don't, know exactly." .
"III stay then' ucciucu mo
stranger. "He must be nearm done.'" Kverybodv Jtosazir.?.
paid HacK.
A mf.i. rt a hotel in a loud tono
of voice called his friend buck jugt ns he was leaving the dining room
and then whispered to mm, -uiow far would you have got if 1 hadn t called vou back ?"
The other, straightening himseii
rrmlind in a tone loud cneugh
for all to hear: "No, sir; I won't vmi .;. I haven't cot it on
me, and if I had I wouldn't let you
have it until you have pam m what you borrowed, two month 8liis friend will never call him imck in a public dining room. agm.
Exchange.
. .London i.xprj8
3