Jasper Weekly Courier, Volume 51, Number 9, Jasper, Dubois County, 13 November 1908 — Page 1

mifirf. Vol. 51. Jasper, Indiana, Friday, November 13, 1908. NO. 9.

' Grim Humor.

.... i i,.i. v..' Vand do tue same tnintr in umint:.

i , m( toothache ban hepun Just at the j! ii lit tliat I wa olii to take my i 1 r, ana the nearest dentist lives at I never uu imv - -

' three leagues from nere. e,e. successful geography lesson' that . 'is the idea in a nutshell. From - - , . ii r. Ill II. If 1...

Taking No Chance. TOI

iii

ua Wife (who has cooked tliedin- ter of ucnesis. it is reaiiy a corner f.ir the first tlrne)-,Vhatevcr -will ruptcd form of St. Thenog, or The-

ay nusuauii suj v."- - Lave iu!te spoiled the Joint? Coioe, Anna, we will toss who shall take it Id Anna, we will toss who shi to luni.Fl legende Blatter. Hit Limitation. "Your friend D'Anber is an artist,' Isii t neV" i Yes, thnt fellow can ,draw any-thtnc-' "luded! I have heard it said that ho hnsu't drawn a sober breath for years "-Philadelphia Press. Division of Labop. Ei-iise me, my good man, hut aro you ure jou know the dlfferenee 1tweeti edible mushrooms and poisonix's oi, es?" I Oh. that's nothlug to mo I I doa'l tat 'ein; I soil 'cmr Sourlre. Percy Bore Love you? Wby, gtrl, I ove you from the word "ja." MUsa Shari Then pleas gm.

To tke Pelat.

Don't Speak to Your Horse. Carcsa must promptly reward performance and the voice be never used the horse does not under pfnml vnnr words, und if von aro

nngry your tones will only further! üisconceri mm wmie u you urn eternally talking to him you simply render him careless and inattentive. Caress the spot you have just ad--a t t f 1 ouarters spot, and where two parta have been

dressed nor tmnk mat ne unuer- ÜCTf)S$ 1i,u ponobscot river " master. "Nit bej stands a pat on the neck , reward, ; . rf broinpt, Su u, no. , va- . :. for something he has just done-with - ' . nor your o..n. Understand? his hind ouarters. Uo direct to the! make a few introductory remarks, .

i addressed caress them both, as tn

! backincr. the hind quarters and the i i sides where tho loirs came, etc. i . , .. .v. Do not pat the neck it you asked him to yield his jaw. ''Don't rc n-nrd your daughter for your son's .1' . ,i "Directing me auuuic uorsc, uy, F. AI. Ware, in Uutmg -Magazine Corruption of Names. The name of Appleoro., the old Uoss-shire seat of the Mnckonzie., is a modern corruption of Abercroean, meaning "at the mouth of the Crosan," the little river which there flows into the Atlnrtw. The names of many places in Scotland have undergone changes as carious and confusing. The thousands of traveler.1? who weekly alight at the fine 6ta , tion of St. Enoch, in Glasgow (called after the neighboring church), no doubt identify the name in some ! vague way with the pariarcu Enoch, mentioned in an early chap- . T" I 11. Iiaw, wno was uiu iiiuuiui ui ii.-uii-Gl;iP?ows first bishon and pa- . . , . , th Kub;,.t of as quaint a legend as any to he found in mediaeval sacred histoy - Modern Society. A mn nt7hot"Tn a loud ton

of voice called hisjriend hack just to deliver his speech, and the loins he was leaving the dining room lowing is the substance of what lie nnd then whinnered to him, "How said:

far would you have got if I hadn't f-nllml von bark ?" The other, struitrhtening himself up, replied in a tonf loud enougli for all to hear: "N'o, ?ir; 1 won't lend you 5. 1 haven't got it on me, and if I had I wouldn't let you have it until you have paid me months what von borrowed two aio. life friend will never call him aock in a public dining room again, London Ji.xpres.

A Fish Scale.

Bohemian. Very Urgent Busineji. Wife- Oh. William, why are you so tale? 1 haw leen so frightened. William (ho has been to his dub) Portant IiIsiiIhIi. ni'ilear. Wlfe-Woiihln't It keep till tomorrow? William-No, love not after corksh flrawn. Po plfiyfutty he grabbed him And t him tn the chair, And Tommy, howling fiercely, Leaped right In the air. Then, comtnif down not cently, Still feellnjr that pin prick. He aald In mournful language, aranrtpa, 'twas a mean trtekl" Then dear old tovlng grandpa Said, "I only wished to test That very ancient saying. 'Hb that laughs last laughs best'" -Washington Poet.

CONDENSED STORIES.

Youno Mnst.r, Vcrbo.it, Brlng"f

Pointed Reproof. W1.cn t: Rev. .!. B. Gould, D. D., was pustor of the First Methodist ' Emseonnl church in ßansor, Me., he accepted an invitation to dolivor an address at some sort of an TOE TOCNO MAN r.ESOTnESED'lIia Bl'EKC H. but with a fatuity not uncommon amonjr vouncr and aspiring orators ue lengtneneu n tpwcu uuu u had consumed three-quarters ot an lmnr In n enmmimitv where tho he lengthened his speech until ho curfew rincs at U o'clock: tnat meanv that Dr. Gould would not have 0 The time is so far spent that it is inadvisable to deliver the address which I hud prepared. In the course of his lengthy remarks the young brother referred frequently to the 'great gun' who was to follow him. I think I may safely say to the young brother that the peope would be better nlensed if ho world decrease the length and increase tho maimer 01 nis gun. j Proved Her a Flirt. 1 I Senator Penrose at the dedication nf PrfnRvlvnnmfi nlendid can:tnl of llnrriclMirrr cnirl nf n POrt.lin speech that had been made at a private dinner before the dedicatory ceremonies : "That speech was pregnant with meaning. It revealed in every sen-. tence its author's character. Brief and full and illuminating, it rej minded me of the beautiful voung lady who murmured tb herself one 'afternoon as she paused uncertainly jon a street comer: J "'What a bore! Kor the lifo of me I can't remember whether I'm to meet Morris in Tusker street or Tasker in Morris street.' " The Mark. Eva Yes, Harold Hatband brings Ethel violets at $2 a dozen and candy at $5 a box. Edna Gracious! I suppose that is a mark of affection? Eva Yes, an easy mark of affection. Boston Transcript. A Favorite at Court. At the reception today his mn'e-ty honored me by graciously singll . r.i out to speak to me In person! HI majesty tapped me on the cheek nno said. "Are yon here, too. you old numskull?" You can Imagine. Adelheid, how envious all the others were l Sliu pllclsslinus (Munich).

I evening gathering in Brewer, just u mi com vcu you ;-et r atty,

An Ea Task Tn his oJ7r Unterstem had l,?vi,r-,Mr f ninnv n.u.

""V " ' , t hut .pamulv , Imb.t of ' i. Dl FV .1 "1 n .1 i u .1- I w . . 1,,,.. I , .,m. f. rm ennoi I. .ri. .i .-.i I i .M lesson lw. rro r" asked om -f hifew pupilNo. Lest. This way for 'Ollnway! 'Ollnway!'' when a wo'ild lie witty je?ter mi the jti"mc: t (!!!. 1 o it: "Stun, eonlnctor! Ynn''-o drnpcl or.c of your 'hV.' " 7'iere vn a titter inido and "! ;dc the but the conductor mtn''d. with n -broad irrin "Never in ,d. sir. I'1 W r ' pick it up a Win wlien et to tnei Han-el "- .oiidc A rfvor'. Golnc Him One Ilcttpr.

I

QA QvMvmnn (lls thev passfthat m a y ljm ot an cxeenont View lr all w t iiir ncvium rn: tin riilrnv. ' .u.. nn.

.scapeu j-unanr .h, mu yo uugm T .T.T" Teacher NMi at la WCU V.'l OV- rC'd, BaUby? BjnDy- wnpHaonuient for llfe,-c Zku Edith I don't know what It 19 that draws mo to that fellow IIUKgurly. Alice--I do. It's his arm. first Diner OutI shay, ole ennp, uyou know Wllshon? Fecond Diner Out No. Whatsh tab name? First DHer Out I dunno. Tatter. Ilie Contlnir Sr"nll. Woman's Uoma Companloa.

Heasiurlng Ulm. Cholly-Doctor, tell me th. '0rat' Am 1 ring ttOW. a brUS

MB? Physician - Calm younelf, my dear fellow. You have some of - rV:3 t ,ecr,Pl " J O" Infalliblt Sign. "That man' said the great detective, "is evidently a genius." "Why do you think so?" queried the ordinary person. "The fringe is beginning to form on the bottom of his trousers," ex plained the U. D. Chicago .Newi. Real Need For Hurry. The Gentleman with the Bonnet Boa - Don't stop me. 0I1 chap! Don't stop aic! I've ot a cw hat for my wir In here, and if I'm not quick It'll bf out of fashion before she'8 worn It: Drawn by II. M. Bateman In SVotch. Most men and maay women, for that matter, carry natchei. To nearho us? them they aro a niceaslty and not a luxury. Th buglaesi of hundreds of thousands of persons comnels them to buy watches. All auch will be interestd iü ttf6ttW "The conBlcnment of watches recelved at headquarters of the Democratic congressional campaign committee In Washington will bo an Instructive object lesson in tho methods by which thr American consumer la robbed under the benign protection of tho Dlnglcy act "These watches were made la the United States, but they were not bought in this country. They wore bought In Europo at $T.98 each, wh-reaa the lowest price at which the watch trust would sell them to American dealpr is $10.58 apiece. Th difference is $2.00 on each waleh. "The Dlngley tariff, therefort, en bles th watch trust to charge lh American dealers exactly oaethlrd more for the watchea it makes thaa it Is willing to take for the same articles in countries where tho tariff doe not glto It the power to levy tribute upon people who want to know th time of day. "By the time the retallar profit Ib counted In, this tribute of $2.C0 amounts to $3.50 or. $4 on each watch of this Rrada carried In an America pocket It is paid by railroad conductors, engineers and other train handa, by railroad station agents and tele; raphers, by streotcar conductors aad motormen and by hundred of thousands of others whoee business requires them to carry a serviceable but aot too costly timepiece." Making the Krmt nf I. Mrs. Newlywed-N'ow that we are married I don't mind telllnat you that several times 1 was on the point of I breaking off the engagement. Mr. Newlrwcd (uloomlly) Well, I don't auppoae it caa b helped mw. rhlUdelpbia

WONDERFUL MOVING VINE.

On of the Moit Interesting of Ant Phanoncna on Reord. Near the I ak of the GUftdÄlup. river 1 saw MiinutHimr trreen ufwil - . ; g the p-ound and, hurrying forward, found a lovely ine with "tea'Te iinaller Than those Of the srnilax. of a pale, tender crreu. The vine had its root n:o.it live feet from the trunk of a toworin? cotlonwood tree and spread out on the ground four or live inched wide, becoming a little mrrrower as it approached the tree. 1 could fee no stems of tendrils, so thick was the irrowthJ , - , and as 1 drew close to the tree 1 6aw that the vine branched ju?t above the grnunil and went ciunmiig np the great truik aii'l tlie hranclie?. It grew innre and more slender mitil far up I f uld distinguish only threadlike line of green. As I stood intently watching the delicate, graceful vine, I became aware that it was pervaded' by a curious, trcn nous motion. J hen I snw that the individual leaves were not ptat onury. Picking up a twig from tin ground, I touched one of tho leaver' and foundto my amaeinent V a, there wm a hrown ant under it about as long as my little linger nasi. r.a.-h war was held in the mandible of an ant'in such a way us to ronreal the body of the insect, nnd tne ants were coming down the tree. The discotdfy came upon me with a shock. I hid stum bled on a noH of umbrella ants. Books had told me thnt fuch ants were found in the tropics, where they carried bits of loaves over tneir heads as if to protect themsches from the snn. But here, on" the banks of a Texas river, I lud found a onlnnv of them, shadlntr them selves whprc there was no lun and completely hidden by their covering of green. Charmed at the sight, I turnel back to ciill my companions, who were fishing in the rirer yHhin a few yards 1 irnt my husband corning j i i. r it. ' . 10 iook ior ire. nc was even uiuicjcxciteifpvrr i.c pn-nomenon uian i was and shouted tor tne others to come quickly. On investigation wis found that the spot where the vine geomeii to have its root was really the opening of the ant nest. The ...... ' .i. . i i i... . liny ereaiures nau m some manuallearned that the topmost branches of the cottonwood had put out their first small leaves. They had nlimbcd the immense distance and had cut oft nnd brought down their leaves to feqd their young onei, we supposed. The ants whick, issued empty jawed from the nest mnde a long circuit to tne lanner n?flr nf Ili trpe and climbed ur where they would not interfere will. the leaf bearing thousands coming dowTi.t St. Nicholas. A Lively Chill. Tho old time darkr had a neat admiration for high soundinar wordai i MP .1- V.J ana pnrases. u aiso nau uee respect for n man who has the boldr ness to devise innovations of -speech. "I jes tell you Jiassa itawson nas a now'ful control oh lancua:c,' said one old plantation negro thoughtfully on his return Irom a rjeighppr,ly call. "I 'spect to learn, somet'ing cbery time I hear liim talk. He was telling Major wuiiaaia 'bout his wife beintr tooken sick aft er dat dog bite she had, an' 'stead ob saying in respects to her ßhaking lit she had dat she "shook like ehe had do agi r,' surae as mos folks would say, what figur' is you s'posing ho used r" "1 dunno," said the old man's wife sulkily from tho ironing board. "Tie suio she 'sh'öofei like an ash pan.' Dat's his figur an' I tin't gwine forget iL" Youth's Companion. I "Not Born There. A Washington man, whose business had brought him to New York, look a run not long ago into Connecticut, where he had lived in hia childhood. In the place where he was born he accosted a venerable old ohap of some eightv years, who proved to be the very person the Washingtcnian souchi to answer certain in quiries concerning the pla.ee. As the conversation prorc;qt:u us Washington man said: "I suppose you have always lived, around here." "Oh, no, ' said the native; "I was born two good miles from here, '- Cincinnati Lornnicrciai 'itirn.