Jasper Weekly Courier, Volume 48, Number 16, Jasper, Dubois County, 29 December 1905 — Page 3

A New Year's Bureau

of Chivalry

1

The f . i r

By MILTON MARKS

- to am , r i Aal made bei um Dave, nee:

rv

KNTLKMKN. It Is New Year's Era! And furthermore, on general

prior IptQI I believe that the ti.ne has come a the L'nor of our

; tH club demand that seft Jm and jointly we

elor energise to the . d cause of chivalry. " brought his fst down

with sueh a thump upon the table at his elbow that a gtgaa that 1. id stood too near the edge rolled off and broke tn bit upon the hearth tiling. Eeh occupant of the club room btar'ed per rnt it iv tn his easy chair. ?.erou.s

Mr. Emmet Keene dropped "hi newsjape r in alarm. Mm, daik-eyed Mr Warren Uloom forgot to light his j dear, and Leid the lighted Watch u bis hand until it burned the ends of his long, lank fingen. Ex Alderman Samuel Hiller torturtd his face with one of his homely, laconic emilefc and , stroked his chin with aggravating rautu These and ail the other X upants of the room directed their , attention to the speaker. Gen. Friesble Wiggins, and waited for him to COatiMM. That he was In earnest was! apparent at a glar.ee. His rather flashy face aas flush ml. his tuft of chin whiskers showed some signs of agl-! tation and his eyes had a look of kind I ly seriousness. "Gentlemen." he continued, "you j bavs read the newspaper. You are 11 aware of the great stir which has fottoWCO1 the appeal of that admirable dub woman. Mrs. Dexter Uloom. for p-otection for the members of her sex who have occasion to walk alone amid Ihe dangers and iniquities of OUT city Btreets. Could any sensible man

be insensible tc such an appeal. I peak with all seriousness. Mr. Hiller I beneve that the time has come for us as individuals and as a club to act There is more In this matter than the newspaper humorist see. In spite of the fact that we are bachelors. I be lieve we stand ever for the best nter est of woman " "Because we are bachelor. I should aay. Un. Wiggins," remarked Mr. Hiller, with a grimace. "We stand. I say." resumed :he general " for the best interests of woman kind. Indeed, for a quarter century the Bachelor club has never been the last to lend ita influence to any warfare aeaint that which does not make for a better and a safer city. Again the time has come for action There has been some talk of establishing a eurean that shall supply maiden ladies of goo 1 character with r iia' and Areeahlo escorts, i he idea is taken

a'b other slyly in tue ribs; but a half hour of discussion and planning was enough to promi.e the enli-tment, on one ground or another, of every mem ber present. It need sein ly M aided, however, that it was well iuto the night before the new bureau of chivalry was by all pre -1 i"h'y understood to be a paffet ' ' tanUat Ion. Before the plans were couplets w .1 Ham. the one hired a' tri.laut m.vr.u the club boasted, had been Beany tims requested to pile more wool on the open hearth blaze as a means of 00fying the encroachments of the New Year's cold. Which did what !t ould to entomb the gayety within the ancient tut distinguished frame resident that served as a club house, by cover ing all wiadoar panes erfth a quarter oi i. ar from i pi nanybt here and there a peephole through which an Outsider might catch a glimpse of a red dancing flame of the Jolly fire. Otherwise, no heed was paid by the originators of the bureau of chivalry to the new fall of snow in th early part of the evening nor to the cold which succeeded II when the MMN came up. W hen at last still small

to liana, meeting the bal'-ne: a half induced Maah on her face wiltthe bow of a oaurUer bat be thai ht ! The them- -if latereat in the Qlohf office that night and in various o'.bei j 'l'iart ra was the impromptu "si read' of the Bachelor lab. The compositor were put to work setting up the "aid" reporter's spirited story cf the day'i New Years calls, whi h was to have as a heading: 'Old Boys Frolic." Tne thing was done up brown. Ihe: organ! sat ios of the bureai f ch.vtflry1

PECK'S BAD BOY WITH THE CIRCUS

By HON. GEORGE W. PECK A of bd Bey A mad " Etc.

LA

Tl. Ctreos Has a Yellow Fever Scare The Bad Boy ar d His Dad Dress Up as Hottentots Pa Takes a Kaatara Bath and Attends a Be- . . : 1 Meeting.

1 ft f.

nd stor? stter, lor orth it

life. fa'. antti c-

r'w frr our ' anyjody , . :. : . tna :. . are, a c.uar-

li of

re pe

air than the staid la helor upbo. :ery and hangings had absorbed in many a year. '1 h c irk lity rf some i f the fair sei having beon ar. used by sundry lnade

of HtMl ' : pa to strip off bis cloth. and tav a bath of prepared mustard, ai.a rub it in tboroughly and thei. wl( :' jff, and take a vinegar rub. and after that sprinkle a little red pepper n himself, put on itflsrenl clothes and drink about a gallon of red lemonade ai d he could defy yellow fever. i'a bl an easy mark and he believed the old sailor, who U blttooed and makes a show of himself with the frea. - al 1 ya took a ihMg of clothes and a i tttlo ot mustard and a i met of viL. -ar and a bottle ot r '. m j.per an1 wer.: into a dressing room and got I a wagon and began to take the i i.ie (he sailor had prescribed I don't r ao It was rixht to do it but about the time pa bad got to the red pepper rat and was sprinkling it on his skin pretty thick, and be was begln- , t' get pretty hot, and was yelling a little. I told the chief of police, srho was looking around with the health officer for suspicious cases, that ii. a .nan acting sort of qu.er

lie. rid the wagon that had a pieee of j aaavas over the wheels. They loth mobed in on pa and grabbed him. Gee! but na lOOhoä at,: . I ike

a plate of pus' feet and the OOCtOT said I ii was an oaatlstakable eaat oi ye llow i fever, he could tell by the smell, and j i then pa turned pale and yellow from . frigh . and they wrapped h'm up in a i piece of canvas and took him away in i an emergency hospital ambulance, and the whoie snow at once knew that we wer .:: for a quarantine. They burned up the suit of clothes ! pa to-k off anil tb- on' h a- :ir

r r- -

quate refen dropped darin ization and p bureau of h expected that

n of-th

med M

SUR WILL LOOK AFTER MB HERSELF OK. THAT U Tu SAY" I . Si began to whisper in the ears of those whose habitl were most r s alar, warning them that It was high time they betook themselves to beu. the plans for the norrow were fairly complete. The day dawned bright and clear. The snow was fine and hard and gave back a thousand sparkles for every glance from the bedroom window of the early riser. The ladies of ."warn pucket knew nothing Of Whol was in .-ore for them, but rose tarlf to finish their New Year's cake and candy making and to attend to the thousand details of this day of nut era- kin? and

way to a

so that had been the day to the organ--.ses of the prjposei ry. it was naturally matter would be ex

plained in full at the lanqueL The members of the Bachelor club were somewhat divided as to how mu-h of their plans on this score should be made public. It had at first bn thought advisable to wait until the banquet and then to make a general announcement. Lr. to be effective, the purposes of the bureau ought to be known to those who would require 'he ervteon of the professional escor'i which It wouM supply. But aoaae members thovight this world bring unpleasant publicity at the present personal stage of the proceedings, and that it would be best for the memcers to drnp appropriate hints while making their New Year's calls But the experience of Mr. Emmet Keene to divulging the matter seemed to have been the experience of nearly all whe had essayed the embarrassing task. Nor had the general embarrassment of the situation visibly decreased bj the time the coffee had been reacheC that N w Year's night Ex-Alderman Samuel Bfltar, as a ready speaker was urged by those near him at tanle to divulge the deta;ls of the stoafel mysterious plsn. But in a speech that was considered felicitous, he eferred the whole matter to the Origin atc.r of the plan, "to the eat eetred and confirmed member of our . . Gem, Prlesble Wiggins." That gentVman sppeared to be risfbly affce! Ly

Z-, " vT :

THE bo T . SAIL IT WAS AN . NMISTAKA! ' K A8E OF YELLOW FVER.

Is raging, and finally got through the quarantine guard somewhere in .iissisippi. and got to us Sa'urday af-er-dix n and some official telegraphed to the mayor that two yellow fever refugees had struck his town to join tne circus, and he ordered the chief ot police to hunt them out. and put them in a pest nouse. The Honduras females were yellow as saffron, but it was causeu by the climate of Honduras bu: the whole show was scared to death for fear we would a.l hive yellow fever and the n:auaemnt detailed pa and I to hi i- 'he yellow girts from the pel ice.

to put on. and the ambulance drove

away, whila pa shook one fist at the

sai.or and one at me. and his skin began to shrink and amart, and he yelled, and the audience stampeded, and the show was in the dumps. ha! to .- i er Sunday .n Flvansville. and the show people were so scared the manager thought he better have religious services in the tent Sunday, so they got a reeivalist preacher to preach to them, a fellow who used to preach to the cowboys

a thing to

He stem- th-

r.r, h- c

ty woman t r when he eir idea was ell on h.-

rs. cat:,- It ki. mi i sat dow M the reserved sests in front of thO Itttbj pulpit, improvised fron the bare reis the ms stand on. and sOHMf Of then: laughed and said: "Hsllo BUI!" and "Ah. there!" and 'Get on tf his collar," and a lot of other thinga The little husk area in r uad a Salvation Atniy girl to play the mclodeon. and he didUt't take any not lea of thO) remarks the boys made, except to Sethis Jaws together and moil M his lipa. Finally they were all seated, and he got up to open the services, when a big canvusman, a regular Stuart Aleck, got up on a seat and said: "I'anlner. how 'i patng to open this jack pot?" The crowd laughed and the preacher pulled bis long blue gun up out of bin pocket, and laid it on the barrel, and then picked It Op and pointed it al ihe big ram a-man and said: "This tains is going to be opened with this band, seven of a kind, all 45 caliber, dumdum bullets, and unless you alt downv quick I will asud a mess of bullets into font carcass right where your heart ought to be. If you open your mouth again before I say "amen!' real loud at the i..' Of the .-T.' .-5. I Will ShOOt all your front tee h nut. Do you comprehend? If so, be leaigjdj The big fellow dropped on to tbo blue scat as though he hail been hit with a pile !r;wr. and the crowd was, an tickled to have the bully's bluff tailed, that they cheered the preacher. Then he said: "YYe will now op-en this Ja k t with singit g and 1 shall keep one eye on the gen.leman who waei last up. but who is now seated pretty You couid have heard a pin drop. The prea h r wiped his face calmly, and said: "We will now sing and 1 expect every man will sing, and to that en l I will appoint big Ike. who asked me how I was going to open this jack oae down in front of the seata and ! ad in the singing, for I know :y his voice, whic h 1 heard In debate, hat he is a era kerjack," and the Tea 04 r took hold of the bandle of the iilue, gun and liig Ike walked down through the rows of Beats, and as the m lodeon began to squawk. Ike got down in front of the audience, and some of the loys said: "Bully for you. Ike." and after scratching bis head a minute Ike turned and walked towards the preacher, at the edge of the ring, and I thought there was go;:.g to be ti.- fight ever was, and as the preacher reached for the gun I crawled under the seat, and neked out ' i - ween the legs of a fat man, but Ike walked up to the minister and said, as the melodeon began to cough: Boys, this tune is on Ike." He started! it and every man sang. When it was ended the boys clapped and stamped for sn encore, and they sang it through again, and the face ot the preached beamed with Joy. and I saw there was not going to be any fight and I crawled out from under the .eats. I'a came in the tent Just then, witb a new milt of clothes on. having been discharged from the hospital as cured of yellow fever, and I gave him my seat, and he held me in his lap. The preacher then preached a eermOa that did them all good. He dwelt upon the hard life of the showman, and gave) them such good advice that when It was all over and h said he wanted to ' ake hands with every man In tho I. une h. Ike marshaled them all up to the ring and introduced them, and no minister ever was more cordially congratnlated, and they wanted him to go a' B v. :th the show, and preach er-

ed and Tlti:

W r '

I

i ml n 1 1

1

h.r wr.

I well P

ivalry which i to tho Bar- : tie nnd the with maid-

THEFtK ENTERED AN APPARITION THAT SEEMED TO HAVE A DOUBLE IN Tili. STOREHOUSE OF HIS nmow have an organized bureau which would end out agreeable and dignified l ro f- ssional escorts on call. But,. gentlemen, everything mutt have a beginr .n. We must in si m manner have the ear of our Swamjvueket society on this subject. We must apprise the fair sex of our purpose. They must knowthat our peisonal integrity is Ik I in 1 this movemenL We must at first le willing to act personally in thhl matOur city Is not so large that our fforts will le misinterpreted, nor Is It so small that our every act will be everybody's concern. And now I propose to pan, ja Ottensen, in n means of latin. hin,; this enterprise, that thmembers of this club to-morrow, in eome appropriate manner, place turn eelves at the disposal of the unatten I en among the gentle sex of our society la this city. Could there be a time more proplt: n . for launching such a movement? (Gentlemen, It Is Now Yesr'e Eve Need 1 ask for voiun teers?" It were aim st Impossible fal'hful y to describe the emotions which thes heroic words of (Jen. Wiggins arvsel tn the circle of bachelors tba- sur I ne'ed him Some smiled. One or two ' La hswtd. ' Some punched

enly a-Mt.ifi 'n to the very garret. t ing hl ndm!ttan-o t ) othetl erhlle i alive to the spirit of the OCCasI decked neraelf ont with a wonder c

hoop skirt which her niece Phoebe had planned to wear thai very night nt n Nw Year's arenti rptnp Bntnaat Keene never had g. f a' : ! of c ar --a Frey, and he wouldn't ein so at thit late d.iv if she eOOM help It. Mr. Keene i i ehai tnamatnth when, after a cons d rable delay, 'here entered the grawlBg room an anparllon thai seemed to have doubl in the storehouse of Ms memory He tried to account for M potrn gOM by. t tit for the life of hfm could not make It more than 80 In the ficure before him He had to admit as be hid done In time past that Clarissa Frey was a remarkabl woman. Af er the r. change of New Year's greeting and roudp Mr Keene tried to cp'a n the organization and purposes of the new bureau of ihivalry. "a new er parMire of Ok Ri rr'nr club" nj he explained, with rervnen',ui. Rut

an ha over wi tat as fa

; 'a-:-e

got far her. ir amid tot an ! the en: fair sex.

eg

A STRONG INCENTIVE.

I

somehow Inadvrrter tri depart much disc from Mr-

he jnnt di

Hunger I

T H

we were tao.ing ginoerisa to ca n em er a country Jake got mad and he b 0 crowd to o;x n (be a,e and make ui remove our .-h.rts to prove that w

: RED

ir! eW .LS

ixing religion vv

I coubl g

Ml we wer thef wai

n ia -a d ' ectt. at the e

1 open the prohMfhw he found ! p and

I N iter Bloon

himself launched upon a

e'hlcal discussion of woman's clubs whbh ended only with the tlncle of the dorbell. nnnouncinc the arrival of a fellow clubman, and Ind.ea' ng that Mr Keene was not proper!) a portie)nlng th ttgM at his disposal amone the meml r.t of the fair ret Og his list. Mrs 1'exter Flvim was a widov- of considerable dignity and aggressive Intellect It cannot le raid that sne ratnntawi any signs o; agkatloa v.ien Qem friestle W.c&iuj was anaeuued

hear that the sal-on

keepers have r'lved to s;o-i 'h - s om of giving tt'lcs of liquor 'o -heit customers for N w Year's presen'.a Humper They have, have theyl Then hang me if I cl-n't stick t raj Ke Year's resolution this time. He Imparts Information. Little Ethel- Mamms told Fredd; that if he wasn t good Santa C!au wouldnt iricg him anything. Won i be? Little Ccorge-Oh Mammas Jusi throwing a scare into Freddy, sc I he so little he don t know any btt'er Saut ChWM leaves you telsgs ntalaof fan kjoJ or rot' - Ph.

r.e ter.c

it

iuat

The mayor and police closed the Show on ac ount of yellow fever, and e couldn't get o' t of the tent. Pa ha . bean quite eh- to the yellow gir'.s and vhn be found out that yellow fever was a disease that catches you when not looking, and in 1 mlmres you look Ime a corpse, and in f hours you are l able to be a sure enough corpse, he shook the yellor r.rla and asked an oil bailor what a i,au aogdtt to do who aas tn exxsi1 to yellow fever. aZ tb o '. ilar who has ud t Bow (ever lot

aana haeaaaa the taUown ill the lit. on t.h y n . led er, when the show was laid

up and he would see the boys through .r anything they proposed to do to the: pilot tl..- a - o play hia! -ame in rlac No. 1 at 19:39 the next tap. We'.l.aft-sr I heard 'he circus mon , j talk about what they would do to the: preacher, l was nfraid they eroalo kiir ' him. so when he and a helper btnogttt a little melocieon Into the ntiv. facing j he reserved seats. I told him the bOfl ' were going to raise a roaapM and driva h.m out of the tent Wim the bulldog j ' hanging to his coat tails. He p it his, hand on bis pistol pocket and lulled a long, blue gun about half way out.

and let it drop htL"k down be.-ieje nis leg. and he winked at me and said he russcd eot. scarcely, as he had preached to crow d ao tough that a clr- ' ' igang w as a Sunday school In comparison Then 1 got on a ror.t seat to watch b fun About Sivo of the ciro-is hau I a, . "jriiiers. cicwoi and teaut buttb-

The preacher -aid he couldn't Join Iba slow, but he traveled around m good deal and he would probably be in the sam0 town wi'h the show seval times d urine the summer and he .Id drop In n them occasionally and keep thm straight. I'a was wate hing the crowd for the aallor who prescribes cayenne pepper for yellow fever, and wheal saw the sr. or CC BBS up to thn c Inister, with tearj in his eyes, and amp: . - i ha- ; '. ba 1 i an and 1 .lied a man once, but he was a Porto16 sailor, and be had the drop on ma. - you did on His Ike at the tpeniag of these proceedi..-.s. and 1 had o kill him. And I begs the pardon ihis old gentleman for lying tev him." :. i then pa book handa with th aallor and the parson, and the parson put his blue gun down his trousers leg, ead Slid: "Hy the way. the bulldog you were going to let take a lunch off me. Is he all right?" Then tho pars n and the girl went away, and the boys carrle-d out the melodeon. and the quarantine was declared off After dinner the boye took down the tents and put them oc the train that Sunday afternoon, singing decent songs as they pulled up the itakee and rolled up the canvas, and m Ihe train. Ia in the night, we 1 hnr "Old Hundred" beint; sunt .,- tho cars ran through the pennpftf district of Indiana Some of Missouri's Boasts. Missouri has 23 state institutions; it bj v-r had general crop failure; It la he leai'.lne clover state eef the union; H has more stock farms th:n any other täte; it has the tartrat acreage of btaej crass of any state; it has tie largest permatrat school fund in the rtlted Btatea; it rahaa one tenth of al! the e rn relscd In the world' it produce ao pi r cent, of the 7inc mined in th.- world; bus one-third rrv re nppV -res than tap other state; its farm land baa advanced 4o per cent. In the lat fonr yesrs: it has the targes! yield ef cotton a r acre of any state In the union ; It haa the lowest rate of taxnti n of any state. Kansas City Journal. Th Fatal Question. "Pn you think thl hnhf looks like me?" said the fond mother "Oh. ne." rentled the old frleng thoughtb'Fsly as he leaned over th lb, I can't say as t do! What bright little fae he n.-a, h.sn t he Detrult 'rse Press.