Jasper Weekly Courier, Volume 36, Number 16, Jasper, Dubois County, 29 December 1893 — Page 8

W. C. Downs, D.D.8.

Corner 4tb Ss Main Street, HÜNTINGBU11G, - INDIANA. MAKES SPECIALTIES OF: Crown and Bridge Work, Painlesi Extraction, Treatment and Saving too Teeth, FiratCUs Work, Raaaonable Prices. At the IbiIIhh Hotel, .Tier, Tuesday and Wednesday ofech week. All Work Warranted. Dec. 1st 1893 y THE HOLIDAY AND WINTER 8EASON la here and so arc we with the best STOCK OF FURNITURE. See Oar Groat 5 and 10 cent bargain countera. Your best Chance. Don't Miss It! OUR STOCK OF COFFINS Has never bean equaled. COME AND SEE US. We Will Endoavor To Please You. Alles Bros. N. W. Corner Public Square, Dec 893. Jasper, Ind. INSURANCE! LIFE ! ACCIDENT! TORNADO! LIVE STOCK Farm Fire insuranco for terms of five years, including lightning and steam thresher, at thirty cents a year on aach S100 of insurance: tornado at twenty cents. Representing twenty good companies and doing an axeltutva insurance business. I can give the above rates. Write or call ob me before placing your insur ance. N one, excepting George Nix nf Havavllle. and Theodore Gobmann of Ferdinand, is authorized to solicit Insurance ia my name. W. A. WILSON, General Insurance Agent, Jasper, Ind f Of the best quality, and easy draught are deinanned at this time of the year, when ao much heavy haul ing is to be done, by every ' Good Farmer, Who does not want to be delayed in his work, and have his teams idle on the'' road the breakage of a wagon poorly made, or of poor material. Qoorgo P. Wagner, isortn Main street, Jasper, warrants all his wagona free from defecta of material or workmanship, and will sell them as cheap as you pay for the inferior ones. Come and see. Ho will also repair your shoddy wagon, when it breaks, if yon call on him. Oct., 27, '93, ft CstmU, tad TndcM arks obtained, and all Pat- i Mt btuiataa conducted for mooinatc Frit. uh am ia Opposite U. s. patent Ornccf aid wt can secure patent in lest time than thote J rtaotiroaa Washington. ? Scad model, drawing or photo., with dejcrlplion. We advite, if patentable or not, free of i cfearce. Our fee sot due till nattntia secured. S i A Pamphlet. "How to Obtain Patents," with Seeac of ease in the U.S. and foreign countries 2 C.A.SNOW&CO.f mpp. Patent Orrier. ttfiauiMnrn n. n. t mr. SUFFERERS RECHIVK 1 R E L I E F N r ' c c o o 5 tn m r r hi ; s U. i UJ 13 . T o a. A N BY Thf USE OF D. LANGELUS asihka hd catarrh Oliver V.U. limine, ,tt ),- t si. ihm I find the Kemeily all atnl nri m.,,f ll'M if ictmtd. 1 reccitc iiHDiil inm tiir.i K. .M. tJf J! v. ,,., v, .,,, v,i trirteit by eniiiicil mtu. . ., :,, uMinliy ami l!rmjn. iritit (lie . iiht t- .i ,. n,. .(,,tr.-nolli me nlWiUil rlir i.tr nr i.r.i ,n,t . , I.. It'l'lieip. !' M , .-,,-,,, MH Asthma in e.i ...i ,,,,,t ,, , ,,,,,jel more Inr w tl.dt, Ii.. .,, ., r,,, , , , 4, ,j ,k, i in three exr .X F!.m " ' ' the Itenir.) , , cltige I KKi i . , ... vtniir uul

UrVII'i( -.ut..m, ..JI. tV. .

PICKS

BAD

BY

By GEORGE W. PEOK. ICopjTlcUt, 1883, by American Press Association. STI.VÜCD.1 C1LVPTER XXIV. THE flAUV AND THE GOAT. "Well, how is tho baby?" naked the grocery man of tho bad boy its he came into tho grocery smelling very "horsy" and sat down on tho chair with the back gono and looked very tired. "Oh, darn tho baby I Everybody asks me abont tho baby, as though it was mino. I don't pay no attention to tho daru thing, except to notice tho foolishness going on around tho house. Say, 1 guess that baby will grow up to bo a firo engine. Tho nurso coupled tho baby onto a section of rubber lioso that runs down into a bottlo of milk, and it began to get np steam, and pretty soon tho milk began to disappear, just liko tho water does when a firo cngino couples on to a hydrant. Pa calls tho baby Ohl No. 2.' I am 'No. 1,' and if Pa had a hook and ladder truck and a hoso cart and a firo gong he would imagino ho was chief engineer of tho firo department. 13ut tho baby kicka on this milk wagon milk and howls liko a dog that's got lost. "The doctor told Pa tho best thing ho could do was to get a goat, but Pa said ainco wo nishiated him into tho Masons with tho goat ho wouldn't havja a goat around no how. Tho doc told Pa tho other kind of a goat I think it was a Samantha goat he said wouldn't kick with its head, and Pa sent mo up into tho Polack settlement to seo if I couldn't borry a milk goat for a few weeks. I got a woman to lend us her goat till tho baby got big enough to chew beef for $1 a week and paid $1 in advance, and Pa went up in tho evening to help mo get the goat. Well, it was tho darndest mistake you ever seo. There was two goats so near alike you could not tell which was tho goat wo leased, and tho other goat was tho chum of our goat, but it belonged to a Nirish woman. Wo got a bed cord hitched around the Nirish goat, and that goat didn't recognize tho lease, and when wo tried to jerk it along it rared right up and made things real quick for Pa. I don't know what there is about a goat that makes it get ao "Oh, it lammed him." spunk, but that goat seemed to havo a grudgo against Pa from tho first. If thero were any places on Pa's manly form that tho goat did not explore with his head, Pa don't know where tho places arc. "Oh, it lammed him, and when I laffed Pa got mad. I told him every man ought to furnish his own goats when ho had a baby, and I let go tho rot and started off, and Pa said ho knew how it was, I wanted him to get killed. It wasn't that, but I saw tho Nirish woman that owned the goat coming around tho corner of tho house with a cistern pole. Just as Pa was getting tho goat out of tho gate the goat got crossways of tho gate, and Pa yanked and doubled tho goat right up, and I thought ho had broke the goat's neck, and the woman thought so, too, for alio jabbed Pa with tho cistern polo just below tho belt, nnd she tried I jt t a hold on Pa's hair, but ho had her re. No woman can get tho ndvantnge of Pa that way, 'causo Ma has tried it. Well, Pa explained it to tho woman, and sho let Pa off if ho would pay her for damages to her goat, and ho paid it, and then wo took tho nannygoat, and it went right along with us. But I havo got my opinion of a baby that will drink goat's milk. Gosh, it ia liko this stuff that comes in a spoiled cocoanut. "Tho baby hasn't done anything but blat sinco tho nurso coupled it onto tho goat hydrant. I had to take all my playthings out of tho basement to keep tho goat from eating them. I guess tho milk will tastoof powder and singed hair now. The goat got to eating somo roman candles mo and my chum had laid away in tho coal bin and chewed them around the furnace, and the powder leaked out, and a coal fell out of tho furnace on the hearth, and you'd 'a' died to eeo Pa and tho hired girl and tho goat. You see, Pa can't milk nothing but a milk wagon, and he got tho hired girl to milk the goat, and they wero just hunting around mo casement for tho goat with a tin cun when tho fireworks went off. Well, mere was nails of green and red and blue fire and spilled powder blazed up, and tho goat just looked astonished and looked on as though it was sorry so much good f wider was H-oiWd, hut when its hair began to burn tho goat gavo ono cnort and went between Pa and the hired girl liko it waa skot out of a cannon, and it knocked Pa over a wash boiler iuto tho COal bin and tho hired irirl in Rninmr thn kindling wood, and she crossed herself .... ... anu repeated tho catekism, and tho goat jumped up on tho brick furnnce, and iney couldn't got it down. "I heard tho celebration nnd went down and took Pa by tho pants nnd pulled him out of tho coal bin, nnd ho said ho would surrender and nlend guilty of being tho biggest fool in MilwauKeo. l pulled tho kindling wood off tho hired trirl.and then sho trot innd mid said sho would milk tho goat or die. Oh, tunt girl Has got sand. Sho used to work In tho elaas fnctorv. Well. t&r. It wna n Bight worth 3 shillinmi admission to son

TT mna. x tv .sjisi m

nut y v.., -

that hired girl get upon a stopladdor to

I milk that goat on top of tho furnace, with Pa sitting on a barrel of iwtatoe bossing tho job. Tluy uro going to fix 1 a gangplank to get tho goat down off j the furnace. Tho baby kicked on tho j milk last night. I gutvw besides tasting of powder ami burnt hair tho milk was 'too warm on account of tho furnace.

Pa has got to grow a new lot of hair on that goat or tho woman won't tako it back. Sho don't want no bald goat. Well, they can run tht baby und goat to suit themselves, 'cause 1 have re.-i; rued. 1 I havo gone into business. Don t you smell anything that would lend you to ' bUriUicU Villi 1 A ilUU U(tU 1 V v ,r--e j No drug store this time," and tho boy I got up and put his thumbs in tho armj holes of his vest and looked proud. I "Oh, I don't know as I smell anything except tho faint odor of a horso blanket. 1 What you gono into any way';" and tho j grocery man put tho wrapping paper under tho counter and put tho red chalk in his pockeb so the boy couldn't write any Bign to hang up outside. "You hit it tho first time. I havo accepted a situation of teller in a livery stable," said tho boy as ho searchtM around for tho barrel of cut sugar which had lieen removed. "Teller in a livery stable! Well, that is a now ono ou me. What is a teller in a livery stable?" and tho grocery man looked pleased and pointed the boy to a barrel of 7-ceut sugar. "Don't j-ou know what a teller is in a liven stable? It is tho sanio as a teller in a bank. I havo to grease tho harness, oil tho buggies and curry off tho horses, and when a man comes in to hire a horso I havo to go down to tho saloon and tell tho livery man. That's what a teller is. harness is a littlo too rich for my blood; but tho livery man says if I stick to it J will bo goveriior some day, 'cause most all the great men havo begun lifo taking care of horses. It all depeuds on my girl whether I stick or not. If sho likes the smell of horses, I shall bo a statesman, but if sho objects to it and sticks up her nose I shall not yearn to bo governor nt the expense of my girl. It beats all, don't it, that wimmen settlo every great question. Everybody docs everything to please wimmen, and if they kick on anything that settles it. But I must go and umpire that gamo between Pa and the hired girl and tho goat. Say, can't you come over and seo tho baby? 'Tain't bigger than a small satchel," and tho Ikv waited till tho grocery man went to draw somo vinegar, when ho slipped out and put up a sign written on a shingle with whito chalk: YELLOW SAND WANTED KOlt MAPLE ÜL'GAU. vt--(COXTI.VCCD.J THE WORLD'S DEAD. The Comparatively Small Area Which Would Provide Them u Graveyard. In that curious article "The Number of People Since Adam," which lias found a place in nearly all of the "queer" columns in the United States during tho past three or four years, the author asserts, "Thowholo surfaco of the globe has been dug over 120 times in order to get room for burial places." Let us see. In C,000 years we have CO centuries and in each century an average of threo generations or ISO generations in all, each being a generation of 1,1500,000,000. Give to each man, woman and child a grave 5 feet by 2 or 10 squaro feet. A square mile con tains something less thnu 28,000,000 square feet. If this last calculation bo correct, you will havo to have a cemetery C5 miles long by 10 wide for each generation. Now multiply this by ISO, tho whole number of generations "smco Adam," and you have a burying ground large enough for every human being that has died in tho last (5,000 years. Tills vast cemetery, although aw ful to contemplate, would bo but 1,800 miles long by 55 miles wide, or in order to got it m better propor tion say 220 miles wide and 450 miles long. In other words a burying ground containing 100,000 square miles would be sufficient for the graves of every human being that has over existed. Tho area of Mis souri and Iowa combined would be amply sufficient for such a cemetery. with 22,425 miles left for walks and driveways. If tho calculation is carried out for 100,000 years instead of C.000, it will bo found that tho cemetery need only bo a squaro 1,700 miles in extent each way. On this basis the United States east of tho Mississippi river is largo enough to furnish a grave for all tho human beings that have died during tho past C,000 and for tho 94,000 years .to come. St. Louis Republic. Mistaken Identity. A young lady visiting for the first time in the country was alarmed nt the approach of a cow. Bhe was too frightened to run, and shaking her parasol at tho animal she said in a very stern tone: "Lie down, sir I Lie down I" Calcutta Times. Mar. Tho results of six mnntha' - V iDV Tflions of Mars havo led an astronomer at tho Lick obeervntorv tn th elusion contrary to thn received views that tho dark nortions of tho disk renresent land nnri tho light portions water. This is BUPDOrted bv ohw'rvntlnno nf K Francisco hay from Mount Hamilton, in which tho bay appears brighter than tho neighboring valloy and mountains nt tho samo distance On this hypothesis tho "canala" correspond to ridges of mountains al most wholly immersed in water, whilo their doubling may represent parallel ridircs of which nur nwn earth furnishes examples. -Sciflnn

What is

Castoria is Dr. Samuel Pitcher's prescription for Infants and Children. It contains neither Opium, Morphine nor other Narcotic substance. It is a harmless substitutefor Paregoric, Drops, Soothing Syrups, and Castor Oil. It is Pleasant. Its guarantee- is thirty years uso by Millions of Mothers. Castoria destroys Woraus and allays feverishncss. Castoria prevents vomiting Sour Curd, eures Diarrhoea and Wind Colic. Castoria relieves teething troubles, cures constipation and llutulcncy. Castoria assimilates tho food, regulates tho stomach and bowels, giving healthy and natural sleep. Castoria is tho Children's Panacea tho Mother's Friend.

Castoria. " Castoria is an excellent medlclno for children. Mothers have repeatedly told mo of Its good effect upon their children." Dn. Q. C. OsaooD, Lowell, Mass. ' Castoria Is tho lcst remedy for children of which I am acquainted. I hopo tho day Is not far distant when mothers will consider tho real Interest of their children, and uso Castoria instead of the various quack nostrums which are destroying their loved ones, by forcingopiutn, morphine, soothing syrup and other hurtful agents down their throats, thereby sending thetu to premature graves." Da. J. F. KtsciiELOE, Conway, Ark.

Tka CeHtaor Company, TZ Mux-ray

G. ECKERT.

J. ECKERT.

Eckert

Roller Mills. oo co os oo ocToo cTp'oo oo o Hiving supplied these Mills with the LATEST IMPROVED ROLLER MACHINERY, we now make none but THE REST BRANDS OF Fancy and Patent Process Roller Flour. which itlinilR of no equal foi fhmilv use. TO TRY IT IS TU RH SATISFIED'WITII IT. We adviNV everybody to ttuy the llel axil in always the Cheapest. Had I'lour cause doctor's hills;

WHEAT WANTED.A-raMoV,f MARKET I'RIUEMN CASH, BY WAGON ou CAR LOAD. ECKERT BROTHERS.

FELIX LAMPEI1T, Corner of West Sixlh anil Clay Slrtct, JASPER, INDIANA. Headquarters in .Southern Indiana tor The Best WAGON Ob Earth Those who Use them once wilt have no other. For The Trades Ry lio lo.en or Immlm, wn will deliver them F. O. R. cars al Jnpor. To fanners or louirytcrs he wntiMtitH them free of defects of any kind. Blacksmithing In all its Iruiche. promptly ntteniUil to Itcagc Call and inspect stock.

Nov. 3, 1893 WEST Huiiibiido Township Trustees Notice. ilMIK undersigned, Trustee of I Ualnbridiro township, Dubois county, will attend to Township bus. incss on batunlay ol every wcck, at his residence on "North Main street, between Seventh and Eighth. in Jasfrer . ... The Library of salt! Township is kept at the bookstore of Mr. Jacob Gosmann where persons wantiuy books can obtain them at any time. JOSEPH ECKSTEIN, Trustro April 20, 1888-ly. Colt'iilia m oh nsliip Trustee's Notice. fiiF indnrsigncd, Trustco of ColX umbin Tp., Dubois county, Ind., will attend to Township business nt his rcsidonco on every Saturday, and persons having township business to transnctnrc requested to present it on that day of tho week. Tho townshsp library is kept nt the office of tho Trustee, where those entitled can obtain books. NELSON HARRIS, Trustee, Juno 27th. 1888 ly.

Castoria. " Castoria h so well adapted to children that I recommend It as superior to any prescription known to me." IT. A. Anciiea, M. D., Ill So. Oxford St., IJrooUlyn, N. Y. " Our physicians in tho children's department have sikoken highly of their experi. encc in their outsido practice with Castoria, and although wo only havo among ou. medical supplies what is known as regular products, yet wo nro frco to confess that the merits of Castoria has won us to look with favor tuxm it." United HosriTAt. and Dispe;sarv, Boston, Mass. Aux.v C. Smith, Jtm.,

Street, New York City. A. ECKERT. Brothers Hli STKJ3KT, .JASIMSK, INI). MILBURN & CO., JASPER, INDIANA. HERS WE ARES! Wo have frotjjooilH and they must tfo. Finest Wlntur Lap liobps. Horse IRauknts. Muggy Ihiinchf. Whips. Everything in tho Harness Line. Come and See Our Mammoth Stock, Which Wo Oder at, Ilottom Trier. MILBURN & CO., Dealers In Agrleut'Curnl Implements, JASPKl!, INDIANA. '.c-iiilj! Xl iH&w.Tfi. All

LOUISVILLE, & Si. LOUIS

21IH LINE l I. , I.. AM ST. I.IJUU CONJIIUUiUI. 1, vtm: t.usi.i: i.n i:ri'i;r, apuii.3 , i W I ST HOU.VI). i 1 1

I'.M 1' I .,; .u t i'j - I ,- fi . l. A.M. I. OU I. -HI nou 'i.r,s Hilft 7. 5 J .M' 0,16 m ' . M. I'.Ms 40 VJ 1 I a 3u l.t'ti l 5.1' M P. M I' MvSO I'JOS l :o 0.15 1.23

A I. MAIN LINK. Ml I ! ,1 i 4 1 I 8 111 I.V. I.OVIIVIM.t. All, Alt. IIUMIMHU'I.II L . I.V. " All. i.v. nr. v .!. i v. til. (T. ItlUIR II III II itl t ) .i t:. I 4 4 ) I II II V r M .1 Sf o sr II ill H VI .15 A M KVANDVII.I.K Ml IHN. I.V. JAKl'MI AB I.V. lll.WTIMJKUIill All ' I.1MHH.N Alt. KVAVI,I,H ,V 10 u tl '.'(I 11 ft.. I' II. 'J HI I tu I u 1 '.'I 41 S.26 tl 4'J IKICKI'IIIIT DIVISION Hi- 4, I.V. LINCOLN All. tU. llOOKI'dUT l.l . in r.i it. 15 10,02 1020 TKLI.CIIV MVUIO I.V. I.I. CM I.N All I.V TIM. CITY ' AU OANNri.TIIS l,V ff. . . . A. W , , T3.yi.-. -c "K.xcpjiI Sunday. Otlir trains dally. .1 It Ii NM) I I (JT, trout. .limpiT. tn,l. It. A. UAMlMtl.l.l, etil. I'asK Act , i;aii". i , , UNITED smS HO MIEL STREET. .1 AH'hl!. PROPRIETOR The traveliii: public will t., t house well furnifhed nnd liti"! v.n way, and the best ot nttention v ,1' 't :iven to tin1 wants ol inosts, T c lurniltire and beds are ail new. uml m able will bo Jonnd suppllttl u.M. it l..wl II, ..... ,). 'I'l.ll,.. iblc. Mi... I njsvot jak visits Von THK ,'iiiinii vau'inii' ii i a ii l mi i i . ... f i . .7 . I . i ii, ii i ii, iiiiii ii i im , I bcr to announce to tho public, hat! ti n fi im I it ntinlinil n ii t Hi iwi ti l nva 1 hni( pniic tint I v im fin nil n full Lit t Mm f.mTiitiin 2iiirrtta ti'Itli nil lltn lnec viuiiiiiu kjttii.ti r. villi tili Uli muH improvements. I have also a hrj' Linn!- f A llrw.l... XT,1 ! f.. ior an oiner tnnKes and nj'ies oi rwirf .Mnchiues. All kinds of Sewing MililllllUn IL'llllllUU. 1 111 II! !1 1 1 1 M III M'lUUb' hand machines. ( - O Äly place of business is on rth nirctt between Mill and McCrillus Streets, JASPER, INDIANA. PETE It J. GOSMAN, Acnt, For the Singer Manufacturing CompiM 1 nut also ayent for the old rclik: Xinuara Fire and Tornado and Cc1mi Insurance (,o ot New loik, n.inl rspcctlully nk a liberal patronn'e Dec. 5, 1890-tf. AI.llKUT M. 1I0I1NKKT. KDWAIll) WIISFC nnrn iiinnii i'i nun Jliiri jÄorrn uniuii iluuii iiiillu. nmivi.M(T llnnTili.M!U linVMllir inn i"lrl-"i mm ! nn i ill., null i I. ii. i.ii.k ill. ii ii ii ii .. nil. i " them thoroughly overhauled, i"l " now pre pared to make the tieft nvni in mli in DnlinifD rotllllV V l. I It. .11.. ic cli!, .IK- ii clrntcl.l L'ud' OI III'KI (Mill 111 V. Ulli I'll III I l.l 11'"' . ; - - .. - . . ... ii iii'iiii.i iiifii inr iy iiiiiimi' i'.:iiiiii.i 'i ' - celled. Wo solicit the custom oi r1 ...III I 1.. . ..II limn Infi" ci.-, :iiiw iviii uv i tiiuj hi, mi in i.i I. ........ II.... 1',... ...I,,. ill .1 tlill 1 . 1 1 Ilf !-, VllilllUll IIUIII IUI . II&.I.I. I. I. market price. RtMx-fi its Voint Wheat, and r,t? pav von cnh all the market will !)':,5r i!(ll!M Xt EAL at wave on hand f or exchange. Uran nnd Shins-lull ' lowest market price. Give n " and wo will try to please you. lllllln Uli IIIIJ AllJIIII BHIU "c 13th and Mill stroetü. t()IIX::iT HKOTIIHH"' Jasper, Nov. 7, 18ÜÜ.-V... . " FINE FAHM vmL'"'1'' TlfZll. . . .1... M..k I, a i n ll lllbl.l'I. In Madison Township. n.. f llirt Knct fa nil D i M-ltl'il'S township 1 now f r snle bv the uii'' . i . ..... . i . i ..... 1 .. c . ..' hlUUCii, tO'Wii: ncit'H m ' - Town One, South Range G West, w inerly bclon:iiig to John llurge, ceiified. It will ho sold at a rontsoiu' pi ice, and on partial payincnt n "r fired. If von want a good farm. 1,1 good locality, near the thriving town 01 Ireland, this Is your opportuuit j f''r prtilicularp, call ou Cl.KMR.NT OASE n Japper Courier Olllce. Also, 237 acics, formerly known thuAdam Smith farm, at tlio o' where tho railroad cronoes ratoh till bo sold chenp, Call coon. r Only 50c a Year, 1 Btirht riKci IntertitlnK ind enterUinW. matter. a.Write for wtmplo copy. Aui"r"L GOURIER'CO., 108 JlQin St., EV0I1SV