Jasper Weekly Courier, Volume 36, Number 8, Jasper, Dubois County, 3 November 1893 — Page 8
PICK'S BAD BOY.
By&EOlOEV.fEOI. OsprTteat, IMS, tr American Press tlon.
ICOXTUrUBS.) CHAPTER XV. im PA JOINS A TEJCTERANCK SOCIETY. "Don't you think my Pa is showing his ago a good deal nioro than usual?" asked tho bad boy of the grocery man M he took a smoked herring out of a box and peeled oil tho skin with a broken bladed jackknife and split it open and tipped off tho bone, threw tho head at a sat and took somo crackers and began to sat. "Well, I don't know but ho does look as though ho was getting old," üt. J tho grocery man as he took a pieco of yellow wrapping paper and charged tho boy's poor old father with a dozen herrings and a pound of crackers. "But there is no wonder ho is getting old. I wouldn't go through what your father has tho last year for a million dollars. I tell you, boy, when your father is dead, ana you get a stepfather, and ho makes you walk the chalk mark, you will realize what a bonanza you have fooled yourself out of by killing oil your father. The way I figure it your father will last about six months, and you ought to treat him right tho little timo ho has to live." "Well, I am going to," said the boy as he picked tho herring bones out of his teeth with a pieco of a match that ho sharpened with his knife. "But I don't believe in borrowing troublo about a stepfather so long beforehand. I don't think Ma could get a man to step into Pa's shoes as long as I lived not if she was inlaid with diamonds and owned a brewery. Thero are brave men, I know, that are on tho marry, but none of them would want to bo brevet father to a cherubin like me except he got pretty good wages. And then since Pa was dissected he is going to lead a different life, and I guess I will mako a man of him if ho holds out. We got him to join the Good Templars last night." "No, you don't tell me," said the grocery man as he thought that his trade in cider for mince pies would bo cut off. "So you got him into tho Good Templars, eh?" "Well, he thinks he has joined the Good Templars, so it is all tho same. You seo, my chum and mo havo been going to a private gymnasium on the went aide kept by a Dutchman, and in a back room he has all the tools for getting up muscle- There, look at my arm," said the boy as he rolled up his sleeve and
showed a musclo about as big as an oyster. "That is the result of training at the gymnasium. Before I took lessons I hada't asy more xauscla thaa you have got. Watt, the Datchmas was going to
a w Mise oa the south side the other Bight,
Mid he asked my ckum to tend the gysMnsiui, and I told Pa if he would Joaaths Gee Templars that might there wouldn't be many at the lodge, and he
wewdB't be so embarrassed, and as I was
6M of the officers of the lodge I would
put it to hin light, and he said he would
gje, so my chum got fire other boys to
help; us put him through. So we steered
hisa(down to the gymnasium and nsade
hisa rap on the storm door outside, and I said who comes there, and he said it was a pilgrim who wanted to jine our
swMisM order.
"Pa actually thought he teas being hauled clear up to the roof." "I asked him if he had made up his mind to turn from the ways of a hyena and adopt the customs of the truly good, and he said if he knew his own heart ho had, and then I told him to come in out of the snow end take off his pants. He kicked a litvlo at taking off his pants, 'cause it was cold out there in the storm door doghouse, but I told him they all had to do it. The princes, potentates and paupers all had to come to it. He asked me how it was when we nishiated women, and I told him women never took that degree. He pulled off his pants and wanted a check for tHem, but I told him the grand mogul would hold his clothes, and then I blindfolded him, and with a baseball club 1 pounded on the floor as I walked around the gymnasium, while the lodge, headed by my chum, sung 'We won't go home till morning.' I stopped in front of the lcewnter tank and said, 'Grand worthy duke, I bring before you a pilgrim who has drank of the dregs until his stomach won't hold water, and who desires to swear off.' "Tho grand mogul asked me if he was worthy and well qualified, and I told him that ho had been drunk mors or lees since the reunion last summer, which ought to qualify him. Thea thr grand mogul made Pa repeat the most Mood emrdllflg oath, In which Pa agreed if he ever drank another drop to allow anybody to pull his toenails out with tweesers, to have his liver dug out and fed to dogs, his head chopped off and his yes removed. Then the mogul said he
would brand the candidate on the bare
back with the initial letters of our or
der, 'G. T,,' that all might read how a
brand had been snatched from the burn lug. You'd a-died to Pa flinch when
X trailed wtj his shirt and a-ot ready to
Drawl nun,
"My chum got a piece of ice out of the
water cooler, and just as he clapped it on Pa's back I burned a nies of horse's hoof In the candle and held it to Pa's
nose, sad I gnees Pa actually thought it
He jumped aTJout six foot anil said,
'Great heavens, what you dew-in? and then he began to roll over a barrel which
I had arranged for him. Pa thought ho was going down cellar, and ho hung to the barrel, but ho wiis on top half tho
time. When Pa and tho barrel got through fighting, I was besido him, and I said, 'Calm yourself and be prepared for the ordeal that is to follow.' Pa
asked how much of this dum fooling there was and said ho was ßorry ho joined. Ho said ho could let licker alono without having all tho skin burned off
his back.
"I told Pa to be bravo and not weaken,
and all would be well. Ho wiped tho prespiration off his faco on tho end of his
shirt, and we put a belt around his body
and hitched it to a tacklo and pulled
him up so his feet wero just off the floor,
and then wo talked as though we wero
away off, and I told my chum to look
out that Fa did not hit tho gas fixtures,
and Pa actually thought ho was being
hauled clear up to tho roof. I could i j ho was scared by the complexion of his
hands and feet as thoy clawed tho air.
Ho actually sweat bo tho drops fell on the floor. Bimoby we let him down, nud ho was awfully relieved, though his feet wero not more thnn two inches from tho
floor any of tho timo. We wero just go
ing to slip Pa down a board with slivers in to give him a realizing senso of tho rough road a reformed man has to travel and got him straddle of tho board when the Dutchman came homo from tho danco, fuller'n a goose, and ho
drove us boys out, and wo left Pa, and
the Dutchman said, 'Vot you was doing here mit doso boys, you old duffer, and vero vas your pants? and Pa pulled off tho handiercliief from his eyes, and tho Dutchman said if ho didn't got out in a
holy minute ho would kick tho stuffing out of him, and Pa got out. "Ho took his pants und put them on in
tho alloy, and then wo come up to Pa and told him that was thothird timo tho drunken Dutchman had broke up our lodge, but wo should keep on doing good
until we had reformed every drunkard
in Milwaukee, and Pa said that was right, and ho would see us through if it cost every dollar ho had. Then wo took
him home, and when Ma asked if she
couldn't join the lodge, too, Pa said
Now, you take my advice, and don't you
ever join no Good Templars, i our sys
tern could not stand tho racket. Say, I want you to put some cold cream on my
back.' I think Pa will be a different
man now, don't you?"
Tho grocery man said if he was that boy's Pa for 15 minutes ho would bo a
different boy or there would bo a funeral.
and the boy took a handful of soft shelled almonds and a few layers of raisins and
skipped out CHAPTER XVI. ras pa's marvelous escape.
"Got any vaseline?" said tho bad boy
to the grocery man as he went into tho store ono cold morning, leaving the door open, and picked up a cigar stub that had been thrown down near the Btove
and began to smoko it
"Shut the door, dum you I Was you
brought up in a sawmill? Youll freese
every potato in tho house. No, I haven't got vaseline. What do you want of vaseline?" said tho grocery man as ho
set tho sirup keg on a chair by tho stove whero it would thaw out. "Want to rub it on Pa's legs," said the boy as he tried to draw smoke throcgh the cigar stub. "What is the matter with your Pa's legs? Rheumatiz?" "Wuss nor rhenmatiz," said the boy as he threw away the cigar stub and drew some cider in a broken tea cup. "Pa has got the worst looking hind legs
you ever saw. You see, sinco there has
been so many fires Pa has got off ul
scared, and hn has bought three fire escapes made of rope with knots in them, and ho has been telling us every dry how he could rescuo tho whole family in
case of fire. He told us to keep cool whatever happened and to rely on him.
If the house got on fire, wo were all to
rush to Pa, and he would save us. Well, last night Ma had to go to ono of the neighbors where they was going to have twins, and we didn't sleep meafh. 'cause
Ma had to come home twice in the night to get saffron and an old flannel petti coat that I broke in when I was a kid, 'cause the people where Ma wont did not know as twins was on the bill of fare, and they only had flannel petticoats for one.
"Pa was cross at being kept awake
and told Ma he hoped when all tho chil
dren in Milwaukeo wero born and got
grown up she would take in her sign and not go around nights and act as usher to baby matinees. Pa says thero
ought to bo a law that babies should arrivo on the regular day trains and not wait for tho midnight express. Well, Pa ho got asleep, and he slept till about
8 o'clock in the morning, and the blinds
were closed, and it was dark in his room, and I had to wait for my breakfast till I was hungry as a wolf, and tho girl told mo to wako Pa up, so I went up stairs, and I don't know what mado mo think
of it, but I had some of this powder they make red fire with in tko theater that mo and my chum had the Fourth of July, and I put it in a wash dish in the bath room, and I touched it off and hollered ire. I was goin g to wake Pa up and tell him It was all right and laugh at him. I guess there was too much fire or I veiled too loud, 'cause Pa jumped out of bed and grabbed a rope and rushed through the hall toward the back win iow that goes out on a shed.
"I tried to say something, but Pa ran
ever me and told tue to save myself, and
l got to the back window to tell him there was no fire just as he let himself out the window. Ho had ono end of the rope tied to the) leg of tho washstand,
and he was climbing down the back side of the shed by the kitchen with nothing on but his nightshirt, and he was the aorriblest looking object over was, with Ids legs flying and trying to stick his toe nails Into the rope and the side of the house. I don't think a man looks well in society without nothing on but his nightshirt. I didn't blame the hired girls for being scared when they saw Pa Incoming dowa SSbjWs.U
window, and wSRm they yelled I went down to tho kitchen, and they said a crazy man with no clothes but a pillowslip arouud his neck was trying to kick the window in, and thoy run into the parlor, and I opened tho door and let Pa in the kitchen. He asked me if anybody elso was wived, and then I told him there was no lire, and ho must havo dreamed h '.vis in hell or somewhere.
- .1
"He was the horrlblest looking objeef ever U'tU." "Well, Pu was astonished and said he must bo wrong in tho head, and I left him thawi"i; himself by tho stove while I went after his pants, and his legs were badly chilled, but I guess nothin was froze. Ho lays it nil toMa and says if
sho would stay at homo and let people run their own baby shows thero would bo moro comfort in the house. Ma came in with a shawl over her head, and after sho had told us what tho result of her
visit was sho sent mo after vaselino to
rub Pa's legs. Pa says that ho has demonstrated that if a man is cool and collected in casoof firo and goes deliberately at work to savo himself ho will come out nil right."
"Well, yon aro tho meanest boy I ever heard of," said tho grocery man. "But what about your Pa's dancing a clog dance in church Sunday? Tho minister's hired girl was in hero after somo codfish
yesterday morning, and she said the min
ister said your Pa had scandalized tho church tho worst way." "Oh, he didn't dance in church. Ho was a little excited, that's alL You see, Pa chows tobacco, and it is pretty hard on him to sit all through a sermon without taking a chew, and ho gets nervous. He always reaches around in his pistol pocket when they stand up to sing the last timo and feels in his tobacco box and gets out a chew and puts it in his mouth when the minister pronounces tho benediction, and then when they get out doors ho is all ready to spit. He always does that. Well, my chum had a present on Christmas of a music box just about as big as Pa's tobacco box, and all you havo to do is to touch a spring, and it plays, 'She's n daisy, she's a dumpling.' "I borried it and put it in Pa's pistol pocket, whero ho keeps his tobacco box, and when tho choir got most through singing Pa reached his hand in Ids pocket and began to fumble around for a chew. He touched tho spring, and Jost as. every body bowed their heads to receive tho benediction- and it was so still
you could hoar a gum drop tho music box began to play, and in tho stillness it sounded as loud as a church organ. Well, I thought Ma would sink. The
irnuister heard it, and even-body looked
at Pa, too, and Pa turned red, and the mmsio box kept up 'Sho's a daisy,' and the minister looked mad and said 'Amen!' and the people began to put on their coats, and the minister told the deacon
to hunt up the source of that worldly mnsic, and they took Pa into the room back of tho pulpit and searched him,
and Ma says Pa will have to be churched.
They kept tho music box, and I have got to carry in coal to get money enough to buy my chum a new music box. Well,
I shall have to go and get that vaseline or Pa's legs will suffer. Good day."
TO C0N7I.NUXD.
The Blue Glaaa Fad. Perhaps tho queerest fad of modern
times was that which placed the elixir
of life in bluo glass. That the color of light has certain influences on life, especially life of tho lower sort as in plants, is a fact. Plant life is undoubtedly affected by the color of light, and animal life needs light. If an animal bo deprived of light, it will become what is called anaemic, but exactly why no ono knows. Reasoning from tho observed effects of bluo light upon somo plants, tho inventor of the fad prescribed baths under
bluo glass for all.
You wero to strip yourself, I re
member, and lio down under tho bluo glass for many hours each day. And
the queerest thing about the whole business was tho fact that some of the dovotecs not only declared themselves benefited by tho treatment bo long as they belioved in it, but were unquestionably so bonefited. I sny so long as thoy belioved in it, for I
do not think thoro aro many if in fact thero bo one who bathes in blue light now. Cyrus Bdeon, M. D., in
North American Keviow.
A Queer Ilac For a Nett. Four years ago a pair of robins built their homo on the top of tho farm bell of W. H. Weemer in Don. egal township, and notwithstanding that the bell was in daily use, they remained and raised their family. During the ringing of the bell the female would remain on the nest, swinging to and fro apparently as unconcerned as though she were hatching iu some secluded spot Whether it was the swinging that pleased the robins or whether it was the iastiaot implanted in the breast of every migratory bird to return each year to the same nesting place must remain a mystery, but it h a fact that every year since tho supposed tamo robins havo returned Htid bt their ujetoa the easse old bell.
What is
Castorla I Dr. Samuel Pitcher's prescription for Infants and Children. It contains neither Opium, Morphine nor other Narcotic substance. It Is a harmless subetitat , for Paregoric, Drops, Soothing Syrups, and Castor Oil. It is Pleasant. Its guarantee is thirty years' use by Millions of Mothers. Castorla destroys Worms and allays feverishness. Castorla prevents vomiting Sear Card cares Diarrhoe and Wind Colic Castorla relieves teething troubles, cures constipation and flatulency. Cast aria assimilates the food, regulates the stomach and bowels, giving healthy and natural sleep. Casteria is the Children's Panacea the Mother's Friend,
Castoria. " Outoria If aa excellent medicine for children. Mothers fears repeatedly told me of its good efeet upon their childrea." Da. Q. 0. Omood,
Lowell,
"CaatoriaW the beet remedy for children of whlchlamacquaiated. I hop tho day U not far dietaat when mother will cowider the real Interest of their chlldrea, and um Caatoria Inatead of the variousquack aoetrums which are deetroyiss their lored ose, by forcias opium, morphlae, sootkiac eyrup and other hurtful ageata dowa their throats, thereby sending them to preaaatwa graTee.' V Dm. J. P. Krxcamos, Ooaway, Ark.
Castoria. " Castor! Is so well adapted to ekldiwa aal I recomratadkaa auger tor to aaj prweripMoei kaowB to me." H. A. ft uses. If X., Ul So. Oxford Si, BreeUya, X. T.
" Our phjalcUa in the children's i
meat hate spokea highly of their expertesoe la their outaide practice with Cat oria, and although we only have amoaff oi& medical euppUea what is kaowa at regular producta, et we are free to eoefeaa that the merits of Caatoria has woa us Is leak wtta favor upon it."
VirrrxB Hoern-ax. aits Dta
Bastes, :
Alum C. Sam, Pre.,
LOUISVILLE & St LOUIS
air line: (L., X. AKU Sr. Leon Co-iolip.t K. R.)
TIME TABLE IN EFfXCT, APRILS, 1893
WEST HOUND.
TBOUN ti
r.m
aft
4.
7.80
r. m
0,0
4 4..W
.1
.4!
A.M. 0.1
ft.10 11 10 11.20
r. m 3.J5 SM
MAIX UM.
LV. LOUIiVILLB At,
it. cTinioa ir.
LT. " A.
IV. NT. MIDI
AI, IT. tO Uli
IV,
r
o.S 65
3.63 3 45
A.M.
11.40
SO
r
A M, 10.4 TOO 4 19 4.10 r. M. IUI LIS
A. M. o Il.tO 5 4
5O0 .30 10 40 ir, JAiril AI. S3 4.1S .to 8 00 t!..'.S ll. Lr. HUHTIIUIl'ie Ak. tt.SO 3 40 B.34 8.36 T.3S 11.65 ' Li COLI " T.M 3 04 7 M 3,00 8.15 1 30 Al.iTAmmn IT. S SO 1.45 S.t3 45 43 41 iocki-oitdiviiio. 46 41 44 CM. r.m. A.M. i A.M. A.M. T M. 8.40 13.01 8.SS lt. LiicoL AI T.S6 1145 7.3 .30 1.00 43 AI. occroiT LT. 40 10 M 6.10 55- 63 51 tiLlciTTDITUio 5o 53 64 r.M. r. m. a m. A Mi 4Mi rll, 4.40 13 05 8 15 LT. UlCOLN am, 7.85 11.60 7.45 .37 1 10 10.03 LT TILL CITT " 41 10.67 8.00 9.45 1.35 10.36 ai cauhltox lt. t.U 10,60 5.46
Kxcipt Sun J jr. Othir Irilw daily. J HKNEUIOT, geat. Jateaer. lad. H.A. CAXPBKLL, dial. Pii.At..lTiaiTlll,lnd.
UNITED HOTEL
MILL STREET, JASPER.
AUGUST :: KAEGIN,
CmmpmMj, TI M array Mreat, New Terk OMf.
C. ECKERT.
J. ECKERT.
A . ECKERT.
Eckert Brothers
Roller Mills.
PROPRIETOR
The trarelingr public will find this honae well furnished and fitted every way, snd the best of attentloB will be given to the wants ol rueilg. The für uiture snd beds are sll new, snd tho able will be found tupplled with tho beat the market afibrdi. Terms reston .ble. Aug. .Kaesln. March 10 -93
CO OO PC CO OO OS O O OO OD o
Having supplied these Mills with the LATEST IMPROVED ROLLER MA CillNERY, we now make none but THE BEST BRANDS OF
Fancy and Patent Process Roller Flour.
which admits of no equal for family use. TO TRY IT 18 TO BE v SATISFIED WITH IT.
We atlritie evcrybsly t Buy ike Best an it is always
the Cheapest, uaa rijHr cause aaciar'tj in;
1TTTT IT Afp IT A TrnT7iT FOR WHICH WE WILL ALr
VV ft Pi f I VV aA I n. I I. "w A VC IAV tmf. TimntRT
MARKET PRICE IN CASH, BY WAGON ok CAR LOAD.
JnlyStb, 1SS9 17. ECKERT BROTHERS.
i
:tiie
Jasper
Courier!
IS TH
Pioneer Paper of Dubois County ! 1.ÖO Per Year!
Always in favor of the Rights of tbe Common People. Favors the Masses against Monopolistic Glaases.
Only 4(1.50 Per Year Gives all the County News, besides tbe news from every where else, for $1.50 Per Yornr! '"ftrT ,.l-.r, rfaSB As a Family Paper, it is unexcelled, containing s large amount of good, moral literary reading. Now is the time to aiibscribe! Ws want a correspondent at every post office in the county, as our aim is to benefit all parts of the cosnjj C Donne Publisher, Jasper, Indiana.
Columbia iwnshii Trus
tee's Notice.
Thi indftrsigned,Tru8teeofColumbIa To., Dubois county, Ind., will at-
tesd to Township business at his resi
dence on every Saturday, and persons bavissT township business to transact arerequeited to present lt on that day
of the week.
The townshsp library is kept at the
ofllee of tho Trustee, where those entitled can obtain books.
NELSON HARRIS, Trustee. Jut 27th, l8W-ly.
Hain bridge Tan naip Trat tec'M Notice. tliHE undersigned, Trustee of BslisI bridge township, Dubois county will attend to Township business on Saturday orovory week, at 1. 1 s residescs nn Vrtrlh fain a I fast 1,..
enth and Eighth. In Jasper. rtat a ft ... m a . .
i ue Liiorary 01 ssiti Township kept at the bookstore of Mr. Jacob Goshssw . I . . .
w uro iierauna warning BOOKS can Obtain them at any time. k JOSEPH ECKSTEIN, Trsatfe Aprjl tO, ISM-ly,
HEADQUARTERS roa tue
Singer Sewing Machine ! I beg to announce to tbe public, that I have again opened as office, where I have conatantly on head a full Use of tbe Genuine Singers, with all the latest improvements. I bsvs also a large stock or Attachments, Needles, Oils, e., for all other makes ssd styles mt tiewing Machines. All klsds of Sewing Ma cbises repaired. Bargains la sesoadhand machines. , My place of business is on 7th Blreet, between Mill and MoCrlllus Streets, JASPER. INDIANA. PETER J. GOSMAN, Agent, For the Singer Manufacturing Company I am also agent for the old reliable Niagara Fire and Tornado and Cyclone Insurance Co., of New York, a.nd re
spectfully ask a liberal pstrosaf s
uec. o, lBW-tr.
ALBERT X. BOnNERT.
EDWARD B0RRKKT
JASPFR UNION FIOUR MILLS 1
Bohnert Brothers bavins purchased
tbe above well-known Mills, have had them thoroughly overhauled, and are now prepared to make tbe best Patent Roller Flour
ever made is Usbote county, lne Pearl Belle is strictly a straight grsde
of first quality. Our Family Flour is a brand that for its quality cannot us ex
telled. We solicit tbe custom ot Farm
ere, snd will bs ready st sll times to ex
change flour for wheat at the highest
market price. Brino ds Yodr Wheat, and ne will
pay vou cash all the merket will allow. CORN MEAL always oa head to aell
or exchange. Bran and Salpstuft at tbe
oweet market price, uive us s trial
and we will try to please job.
Mills on tbe North aide of Jasper, on
lltb snd Mill streets.
BOHNERT BROTHERS. Jasper, Nov. 7, 1890.-y.
FINE FARM FOR SALES In Madison Towuhip. Oas of the best farms is Mslison
township Is sow f' r tale by the sadersigned, to-wit: 119 acies la Sec. 30,
town One, South Rssgs West, for
merly belonging to Job a Barge, de
ceased. It will be sold st a reeeesable
irlce, end oa partial paymests if de
sired. If yoa west a good fares, is a food locality, near the tsrivlsg towa of relaad, this is yoar opportealty. For particulars, ealloa Clement Doaxe at Jasper Coarier Oslee. Also, 137 acres, feraerly kaowa as tbe Aden Smith farm, at the point where the railroad cresses Patoka river, will be sold cheep. Call eoea.
aiaiaiiaWlaSSSM
Only 50c a Yeah
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