Jasper Weekly Courier, Volume 36, Number 7, Jasper, Dubois County, 27 October 1893 — Page 3

WEEKLY COURIER. am i ii i i mi emu C. DOANK, FubliHher. JASPER. INDIANA.

OLD PÄKSON WADE. ow the Widow Blokford Mado Him Very Happy. HE pompons little chairman of the village church committee ended his , jYA. noat little 411111 tiwui inn ui his fat hands, and, loaning back in his chair, complacently awaited thu reply of his andieuee, Rev. Jam es Wade. flat thcro was no response, from the motionless flguro by his side. It was growing dusk, hut the flickering firelight showed him tho outlines of the old man's gaunt frame, tho droop of the Im) wetl head and tho trembling wrinkled hand upon which it rested. There was something In Parson Wade's attitude thatdisturbed the chairman's self-complacency, and he shifted uneasily from one position to another, and wished heartily that his words had romained unsaid. "lllest if I dreamed tho old man would feel so cut up about it." he said to himself. "As Mis' Prentice said, he'd ortor expect it He's lied his day," It had seemed a simple thing. Old Varson Wade had become old-fashioned and rusty, and outgrown, too, by the people of the bustlt g little factory village. Wlut was to bo done, then, but to throw Ulm one side, like any dingy old garment, and replaco him with a new minister of later pattern and more popular style? Hut, for tome reason, it Is an easier matter to discard an old c'oat than an old pastor; at least so thought Chairman Hicks, as he glanced uneasily at his companion, while several minutes slowly ticked themselves away. At last tho stillness became unsupportr.ble. He started up and fell to poking the lire with nervous, energetic strokes, which seemed likely to pat out the flames. His action, however, served to arouse Parson Wade, who rose mechanically, reached for his shabby beaver hat, and with a low "Good night. Mr. Hicks," moved with slow, mice Haiti steps toward the door. "You won't hold no grudge, parson?" said Mr. Hicks, following him. Hut the par.ion suffered his nerveless fingers to rest for an instant in the strong grasp of the chairman, then ilently opened the door and went out. He tottered down tho steps, and fumbled several minutes at the gate before lie could open it The day was ending in a dreary rain a' -chilly November rain that made people turn up their ioat collars with a shiver, and remark, that winter was coming. Tho wind whistled about the lonely figure as it ctcpt slowly up tho road. Fitful gusts played with the thin locks thut struggled over his collar and pierced his threadbare garments, while the rain moistened his spectacles so that the faded old eyes -could scarcely sec the path. Hut old Parson Wade seemed to heed neither wind nor rain, but, with head bowed low, staggered on in the blinding fttorm If passers by noticed tho desolate tigure it was only to clasp their bundles tighter, button their coats closer, and hurry past, leaving him soon forgotten. The news of his dismissal had come to Parson Wade with cruel suddenness, and only by degrees did he recover from his half-duzed condition. Over and over in mechanical fashion he repeated Mr. Hicks words: "There's some that's tired of old-fashioned doctrines, und wish a younger preacher. A progressive age, parson, is that we're llvln' in." They were tired of him, then, that was what it all meant, and there was no longer any use for him in "you won't hou) no oituuai:. i'arson?" the world. It would he so always, now; nobody would care for him, or look to him for aid. And the girls, his daughters, what would they say when they heard of It, liow would they receivo this news? With bitter reproaches, with stinging words, ho knew; and tho thought sent a shudder through him. Yes, it would make things worse for him at home, and thing were sorry nough thcro at the best All through the dreary years aince Jits wife's death the old man had been under the rule of two unmarried daughters, who made bo effort to con ceal the fact that their old father was an uncomfortable burden on their hands. Thov allowed him Bheltcr and food to avoid town gossip, and added his monger salary to tho comfortable utile income that they gained by teaching. Hut by continued taunts they succeeded In making his whole life sad and uncomfortable. Yet Parson Wade always expected that some day he would eomo home to Und a kind welcome and fcving word froaa them. "Taejr'r

Urn

fLJif

Mary's children," ho would say to himself. "Surely thoy must care a little for their old father." Hut this dreary Norembor night tho old comforting assurancu was no longer his. In tho bitterness of this now pain he g;ive up all hope that he could ever bo wuutcd anywhere. With these thoughts in his mind the old man stumbled on. and at last turned in at tho gate and reached the house that ho called home. He stepped out of the cold und gloom of tho night into the win intli and cheer of the cozy little hull. He paused for a moment and held his thin, chilled lingers over tho register. Tho grateful warmth stole in upon his benumbed senses, and despite his sorrow he felt a thrill of pleasure. Then as ho looked up It seemed or an instant as if ho were waking from a painful dream; for there in tho door-way stood a winsome little maiden, who eyed him with childish curiosity. Tho old man was passionately fond of children, und his faded eyes grew wistful as he said in quivering tones: "Come and see me, little one." There was little In the gaunt old man, with his stooping shoulders, thin, spectacled face, and shabby, scanty, illUtting garments, to attract a child. Hut she started toward him, and was almost in his arms when a sharp voice cried: "Father Wade, what right have you to touch her? Come away, Elsie dear, the ugly old man will hurt you." With these words Miss Harriet, the younger of tho daughters, led away the child, and Parson Wade was once more alone. The look of abhorrence and terror that stole over the child's face cut deep into the old man's heart as Iiis daughter's cruel words failed to do. A slight moan escaped his lips, but, dreading a fresh rebuke, he choked back a rising soband hobbled away into the darkness of his own room. Half an hour later the little household gathered at the tea table. Miss Wade, tall and stately, presided with cold dignity, and opposite her sat Miss Harriet and little Elsie, the daughter of a near neighbor, who had ileft the child with the Wade woman for the afternoon. The parson took his seat, and reverently bowing his head moved hislips in a murmured praycrof thanks.

Instantly his daughters began a clatter of silver and china while in needlessly loud tones they began to talk gayly on some amusinir and trilling subject. This was a disciplinary measure In their eyes. We must break him of the absurd habit," they said to each other, in talk lug the matter over. "Come, you've mumbled long enough," cried Miss Harriet "Tlit! toast is getting cool." Little Klsle eyed the old man furtive ly during the opening of the meal, and fidgeted uneasily in her chair, feme was a timid child, and Miss Wade's re mark lingered in her memory. "Will he hurt me now?" she whis pcrcd to Miss Harriet, after some min utes. "Why, you poor childl Does he frighten you? You'd better take your plate and cup into the kitchen, father. I don't wonder the child is frightened. You really are unennny to-night" So Parson Wado was banished to the kitchen, there to cat his bread and drink" his weal: tea alone. Ho longed for a bit of meat for his supper, and a little cream and sugar for his tea. Once, months before, ho had made bold to reach for the milk pitcher, but was stooped by the words: "Do you think we can afford to provide you with luxuries vou. who do not earn clear ten even?" After that he did not offend in this way again, but to-night he watched, with almost a feeling of envy, the sleek, well-fed cat as she lapped her briminingsaucerof creamy milk. Lucky cat! There was always enough food for her. On his way upstairs awhile later, Parson Wado passed tho parlor door mid naused a moment to look in. The fire was burning cheerily in the grate, there was a cushioned chair before it and on the table by the big lighted lamp was the evening paper. The old man hesitated. He was never allowed in that room, he knew; but the "girls," he remembered, had gone to take hlsie home, several doors away. And that paper, he was sure, had a long report of the conference held the day before in a neighboring city. The temptation was irresistible. He sat down In the big easy chair and began to read. This weary old Christian veteran, his years ofnetive service ended, yearned for news of the thousands of soldiers in the thick of the fight, and rately did a paper or magazine enter his hands That the work he so loved was still going on, he felt sure; but In his nar row. cramped life he longed for de tailed tidlnirs of tho progress of the church. With listening eyes he read, forget ting his own sorrows. Half an hour had passed when a hand drew the naner from his irrasp, and his eldest daughter's cold voice said: "You for pet that this room is not Intended for vour use." Miss Wudo was never so abusivo in her language as her hot-torn nured sister, but her icy, sarcastic words wero often quite as cutting. Hut to-night her father scarcely heard the words. He rose mechanically, and with feeble steps climbed the stairs to his chamber. There, in the bare, desolate room, with Its bit of faded carpet und its scantv furnishings, shut out from the cheery little parlor with Its lire, ninno, books and cushioned chairs, the old man pent the long evenings in drcarv loneliness. There he tolled over his spiritless sermons, trying out of his meager, barren life to una some thing that might bring eacouragemetit and comfort to some struggling soui When tho oil gave out in the little lamp, and the light grew dim, he would close his books with a sigh and gather his nanets together; and often, as tho Bound of music and laughter floated up ward from the parlor below, the lonely old man, on his knees, spent the re mainder of the evening, and, Indeeu much of the nicht, in agonized plead inu for release, for help. To-night his onlv wish, his one plea, wea for death and with tears falling from his eye he bMfired nlteouslv that his Father la I1mtb would take aim U Uiraseht

Bleep, however. Drought unconscious

ness, and with tho moraine came a new desire to live. It i:atae for ho curlousdocs tho trivial mlntrle with the tragic in this checkered life of ours from an invitation out to teal Tho invitation came from Widow Hlckford, one or his parishioners, rich and childless, and aa full of whims and oddities as a woman can possibly be. Doubtless she had summoned him to say that his dismissal was richly deserved, reflected the parson, but at all events he should get ngocd supper, and the widow's squash pies were famous. Afternoon came, and Parson Wado brushed his threadbaie clothes, tied and etied his rusty necktie with stiff, eager lingers, nnd smoothed his thin ocks with iulluito pauis. lie was trembling all over with delight this foolish old man, for it was many a weary month since anyone had invited him out to tea, and ho was us pleased as a child at tho prospect A little smile stole over the wrinkled face with its sad linos and furrows of care, and Parson Wade decided, in this new, intoxicating pleasure, to say nothing to his daughters of the parish. committee's decision until after his re turn from Widow Hickford's tea. So olT he started, with something akin to briskness in his gait, and his head quite erect, as became a pastor invited out to tea by a wealthy member of his flock. All through the meal, at which tho purson was the only guest, the cheery little widow watched him narrowly with her sharp little eyes, gossiping gayly the while about this tiling and that And the parson forgot his sor rows, forgot his. shabbiness; yes, forgot lis daughters even, and laughed his weak, quavering laugh which no one had heard for years, as ho told long anecdotes ot by-gone days. The widow, it seems, had observed the old man for many mouths, with mingled p'.ty and indignation, and had come to a somewnat startling ueicrmination in her funny, whimsical fashion. To bo sum she had been be set by a doubt or two. mainly in connec tion with her husband, dead some twenty years. Hut she was not a woman to hesitate long when she saw her duty plainly, and these doubts were there fore disposed of summarily. "Ef the Lord wants me to marry the parson and take care of him, why, I guess he'll take care of Hiram hickford's feeliugs, and I don't have no need to trouble myself about 'em. nd Hiram was allcrs such a sensible critter!" So the old lady, in her crisp black silk gown and best lace cap, smiled on tho shabby, sad old man, while she helped "THE UO.LY OM) MAN WILt HUr.T VOL". him liberally to the sweets on the table, and finally said: ".lames Wade, vou'd ortcr be looked out fur, and tho Lord scz fur me to do it." The amazed parson fairly gasped for an instant, but he had been ruled all his life by womankind, so he meekly murmured: "Yes'm." "It's kinder lonely withoutcr man bout the place, and that Jake, he wuthless 'n'less there's a man to sea tcr him. You and I, parson, are old enough to do without high-falutin' talk 'bout love and sich, and so, I say, the sooner we're married the better." Tim widow drew a slrh of relief as she ended, to think that now the mat ter wns all settled. The parson wiped his spectacles, and said tearfully: "God bless you." A little later, as they sat before the hl-izlmr fircnlace. the parson faltered out: "Hut what will the girls say?" "Say?" responded the widow briskly. 'Why, lots o' things. Never saw 'em when they didn't But we won't tell 'em till it's all over with, and then let 'em talk!" And so they were married. It was wonderful to see how soon Parson Wade got accustomed'to his fine broadcloth and his life of case. Then, too, he never rcnlized that the affectionate, almost obsequious manner with which his daughters now treated him wasduo to the change in his fortunes. Tho simple old man really believed that of which he had dreamed was come, and that his daughters had returned to their old, childish fondness for him. The old taunts and Blights were all foi gotten, und if ever Mrs. Wado were tempted to remind him she forebore, though she Insisted always that her money should not bo spent on "tho girls." So a wealth of cheer and comfort came Into the lonely, sad old life, and Parson Wade seems likely to eud his days almost unconscious that he was otherwise than happy. For, every day, the memory of tho old sorrow grows fainter, and ho drinks the sweet cup of oblivion. Springfield (Mass.) Republican. Correct rartlag. "What part of speech is k&?' sake a teacher at Vassar college. "A conjunation," replied one of tha smart girls. "Wrong, aid the teacher, severely; "neitglrL" "A noun." put in a demure maiden. "What kind of a noun?" continued the preceptress. "Well cr it is both common and proper," answered the shy irl, ad he wm promoted to Um head i la. Vogue.

A MISTAKE. OrIfrt He fore Ihr Ways and Mmhi Committer Talk fur tho Manufacturer, Nut Ilm I'eoplr, . appears that members of the ways And means committee are beginning to think that they made a mistake when ".hey announced that they would hear the people who have tariff axes to grind. They lind that requests for hearings are pouring in from all parts of the country, and that there is no telling when there will be an end of the talk If they allow it to go on. They also find tilat people who want

the same- tariff or more tariff are the j ones who want to be heard. These t people do not go to Washington to talk j about tha best way to raise needed i revenue. Revenue does not enter into J their thoughts at all. Thoy do not conceive of the committee as :i body ' created to consider how best to raise ! the "means" required for public pur- ! poses, but only as a body created to J consider how belt to raise means for the benefit of this that and the j other manufacturer by shielding him against com petit ion. They have already been more or less smirched by congressional favoritism, and they can afford to go to Washington anil plead for more favors. The masses of the people, who arc bled for their benefit, are too poor or too bus- earning money for the favorites to spend to go to Washington and plead their own cause. Resides, they are not organized. They are the many, and in their case the rule applies that what is everybody's business is nobody's business. Members of the ways and means committee have lieen there before, and have had plenty of experience. They ought to have known just how it would be before they opened their doors to the tariff beggars. They ought to have known that they would have to listen to a repetition of all the old and flimsy sophisms upon which the privileged classes have relied in applying for and defending their license to prey upon the masses. Rut it seems they hoped for something different and better. Now that they have been disappointed it is said that they find it difficult to draw tho line after hearing some, and shut out others. The result vse are told, is likely to be a long scries of hearings of the old and weary sort a prolonged "threshing over of old straw and the beating of the air with the well-worn flails of selfishness and cupidity." Rut there is r.o necessity for any such result So far as time is concerned, the committee drew a line at tho outset All it has to do-is to shut the doors when the line is reached. In the meantime they must endure the infliction. Let the rule be first come first heard, or whatever else they please, but shut and bar the doors tho moment time Is up. And while the committee is hearing it can be striking. And if the democratic members know what is for their own and the country's good thoy will lay on and spare not They will give the country such genuine and thorough reform that everybody can see nnd feel the difference between the McKinley tariff for spoliation mostly and a democratic tariff for revenue mostly. And the sooner they do their work the bet ter they will be prepared for their reckoning with the people a year from next November. Chicago Herald. FREE WOOL. Cheap Wool and Cheap Cnrinrnt Would II. Very Acceptable in Tlieie Days of Knfnrcetl Irilenrs. "Judge" Lawrence, one of the three political shepherds of Ohio, is the re puted author of a scries ol resolutions, recentlv adopted by his wool growers' association, in which it is declared that "free wool and mutton would le the colossal political crime of the age." In tb-se days of enforced idleness and hunger free mutton, even if it could le brought in for a cent a pound from the vast pampas of Argentina and the boundless ranges of Australia, would hardly be regard ed by the famishing aa savoring of crime. As for free wool, that would mean cheaper, more substantial and more comfortible clothing for the American people, and especially better clothimr for those who have small means with which to buy. Would it be a "colossal political crime" to irivc cheap food to the starv ing or to give cheap garments and blankets to the naked? So thinks the Ohio shepherd. And why? Jlecause in his opinion well to do Ohio farmers would not be able to get so much for their fleeces. Is it then, of so great importance that these farmers should get artificially high prices for their wool that it would be a crime to give the poor access to cheap food and , clothing? So thinks ''Judge" Lawrence. Uut sonic other people know that the McKinley increase in the wool duties did not give,the Ohio farmers any lietter prices for their fleeces. And they also know that free wool would be a benefit to most even of such farmers as own sheep, though they might get less for their wool, liceau.se they would gain more by the cheapening of tho goods they must buy than they would lose on the price" of their wool. Ve must have free wool as one of the first steps in tariff reform. This congress must and will put wool on the free list The democrats in congress will not hesitate to do this though all the shepherds from Maine to California bawl in chorus alout the "colossal political crime of the age." Chicago Herald CHAIRMAN WILSON. km Abi Tariff Krformer at the Heart or tta Way nnd Mean Committee. Hon. William U Wilson, the new chairman of the ways and means committee is the ablest tariff reformer In the house, and from away back. He is second only to Carlisle. In congress and out of congress the new chairman of the ways and means committee has taught the gospel of freer trade with an ability, nn earnestness and a persistence exceeded by no one. Who that heard It can ever forget that brilliant, that magnetic speech ho made when taking the gavel of the last national democratic convention? "Tho tnissloa at the democratic

party," he thundered, is toflglu few the under dog!" And "republican success in this campaign, whether we look to the purty platform, the party candldates or the utterances of the party leaders, means that the people are to be stripped of their franchiso through force bills in order that they may be stripped of their substance through tariff bills." And "whenever you confer on the government the power of dealing out wealth you unchain every evil that uaa prey upon and eventually destroy free institutions." And "in every campaign the privilege of taxing the people will be bartered for contributions to corrupt them at the polls; after every victory there will be a new McKinley bill to repay these contributions with taxes wrung from the people." And "for every self-governing people there can be no more momentous question than the question of taxation. It is the question, as Mr. Hurke truly said, around which all the great buttles for freedom have been fought. We, and the great party we represent, are to-day for tariff reform because it is the only gateway to genuine, democratic government Until we settle this question wisely,

permanently, justly, we build all other reforms on a foundation of sand." And "tariff reform means to readjust this system of taxation and to purge away that system of tribute; it means that we have not reached tho equality of true freedom so long as any citizen is forced to pay tribute to any other citizen." And "the people know by hard experience that protection as a system of taxation is but the old and craftv scheme by which the rich com pel the poor to pay the expenses of government I hey know by hard ex perience that protection as a system of tribute is but the old and crafty scheme by which the power of taxation of the people is regarded as the private prop erty of a few of the people." Chairman Y uson says that tariff re form will be at the front soon as tho financial issue is settled by congress. This was assured by the appointment of Mr. Wilson to the head of the way and means. New Age. A GREAT FARCE. Familiar Sound ilrfore the Home Wars ml Mean Committee. The means sound, cfitted hearings liefore the ways and committee have a familiar The manufacturer who Is benby tho tariff asks for a reduc tion of. the tax on materials he uses, or stays away lest he should only mako things worse, and neither the consumer nor the productive system of the country as a whole is likely to be called to memory, except as an individual mem ber of the committee may chance to ask a question. The speech of the manufacturer who wants all the tariff he has, and more if possible, always Informs the committee that the business he is carrying on is a new one. It may have been carried on for fifty or a hundred years, but some I feature of it is still new; it is in its in- ' fancy; when it is older it will get along without protection; indeed, it will make a price that foreigners cannot compete j with, but just now it is rather more dependent on protection than it was ten, thirty or sixty years ago. The manufacturer who appears before him (the committeeman) will tell him all about the differences between daily or weekly wages here and in Europe, but he will not tell him what the labor cost really Is in his product The department of labor has had the atmost difficulty in getting manufacturers to tell anything about the cost of production, and in some notable cases the superintendent of the census failed entirely to get information that would have shown approximately the cost of production. The information that has been obtained from public and private agencies shows some exaggeration in popular statements of the differences between European and American wages; they prove conclusively that the daily or weekly wage affords no idea of the cost of labor, and they go a long way towards justifying the generalization that where the wages are highest the cost of production is lowest The truth is that it has been abundantly proved that the higher wages in this country are offset in whole or In part by the greater efficiency of labor and the freer use of labor-saving devices, while the higher cost of raw materials cannot be offset In any such way, and so far as the cost of materials can be reduced, the manufacturer and his operatives will participate in the benefit These conclusions are not reached alone by statistical investigations, but by the testimony of such manufacturers as have taken the trouble to analyze their own expenses, and have lecn willing to give the public some information about the costs of production. Journal of Commerce and Commercial Rulletin. Two Old "Ilotinderft." No tariff hearing would lie complete without the appearance of those old "rounders," John Jarrctt and W. C. Cronenipycr, and It was inevitable that they should turn up, as they did recently, with their same old set of shopworn promises and predictions. Cronemeycr, in particular, we should havo thought the republican members of the ways nnd means committee would have refused to hear out of self-defense. He is the most thoroughly discredited tariff expert and prophet that ever showed his face in Washington. lie stuffed republican orators with his fairy stories about the tin plate industry, and let them go on record with assertions and predictions which are now enough to make even McKinley blush. Yet he came forward again with hi assorted figures, and t ul the commlte what he "estimated" would happen, as if he supposed no one would remember how the past few years have established him as an exploded humbug. N. Y. Evening Post For a person who declares his election sure. Gov. McKinley is rcsortlnjj to a great many remarkable campaign antics. He is now claiming that his tariff hill is responsible for the general resumption of bushMM bow in prog

PERSONAL AND 'LITERARY.

Mr. Gladstoae is wailing away hie leisure hours by translating Horace lato English verse. Tho grand old mas Is equally expert In capping a rhyme and cappisg a climax. William Perron attempted to klst Mrs. Coggawcll at Roston, Ind., and was doused with soup by the enraged lady. She did right in putting the spoon in the consomme. H. M. Curtis, who retired recently from the position of postmaster at Newcastle, N, H., was the 'only postmaster the town had ever had; he was appointed when the office was established is 1805. Joseph Samuels, ninety-one years of age, has lived all his life on the same farm in Pago county, Vu., and he and his eighty-five-year-old wife lioastjthat they have never been obliged o call a physician. Oscar Wilde is reported to have grown very big and fat and untidy in his appearance. He has been seen boating on the Thames a great deal, clad in costumes that were not in tho least suggestive of the aesthetic taste of his days of apostlcship.Vegetarianism has mado a distinguished convert in M. Fraclsque Sarcey, the great French dramatic critic. Ho has written a letter to a Paris paper describing his experiences, in which he .says that he finds that he is in much more vigorous health and in better working condition than before. Emperor William, after three years trial, has discharged his German cooks and reinstated Frenchmen as chiefs of his cuisine at Potsdam, where until his advent they had held sway since Frederick the Great. Rut William insists that the menu shall be printed in German, as it has been since his father died. Mrs. Margaret Rrane, who has just died at Washington, was a girl of fourteen when the Rritish burned the Capitol in 1814. She remembered the fire and told many an interesting tale about it Her father, was a soldier in the revolution, and was at Valley Forge. He lived until 18Ö0 and was one hundred and fire years old when he died. The duke of Westminster, the richest nobleman in England, isknown among his intimates as "Jnck Sheppard," because of . his resemblance, when a schoolboy at Eton, to Cruikahank's cartoon of the celebrated burglar and highwayman. Tho duke's charities, like those of many unduly rich men, are notorious for their scantiness. Mr. Ferris, of World's fair wheel celebrity, Is now engaged in constructing a cantilever bridge at Cincinnati, which will have a sheer span of ono thousand eight hundred feet and be sixty feet wide. It will be the second longest cantilever in the World, nnd, considering its width and its enormous size, it will be the greatest bridge of that construction that has ever been built HUMOROUS. Men who mean business do not waste much time saying so. Galvestoa L News. When it comes to jealousy and crowing man is about as bad as a rooster. Dallas. The fact that an author's nose red is no guarantee that his writings arc. Atlanta Journal. " Do you love her?" "Yes." "Why don't you marry her?" "Ask her." Hrowning, King &.Co.'s Monthly. Wickwirc "What Is the longest make you ever saw?" I.ushforth "About three days." Indianapolis Journal. "Hilly was too much bent on getting that girl?" "Yes. and the first he knew he was broke." Kate Field's Washington. One can not always judge from appearances. A man may have a sandy complexion and yet have no sand. Roston Transcript Miss Pruner "Have you got acquainted in the church yet?" Mrs Prim "Yes. indeed! I already belong o one of the oldest factions in it" Cleveland Plaindealcr. Fell to Him. Tommy "Where did you get that blaekeye. Dickie?" Dickie "Inherited it from my father, I suppose. At least my mother aays I've got my father's eyes." Yankee Rlade. "Waiter," said the guest, "bring me some mushrooms." "Single o double price?" "What do you give with double-price order?" "An insurance policy, sir?" Washington htnr. Talkative Harber. "There's one thing tliat never causes me any sorrow to part with." Luckless Customer "And that is?" Talkative linrhcr "A comb. Next gent!" Huffalo Courier. Jack "Cheer up, old man. don't look so blue!" Harry ' Can't help it" Jack "Oh, come! Think of your best girl." Harry "No good. 1 married her three months ago." N. Y. Herald. "Now," said a tvritcr to a para graph, "be a good little joke, and when you are old enough you thall have the honor of being ascribed by the magazines to one or another of the world's Star. Papa "Good gracious, what a point of Interrogation you are! I am sure 1 didn't ask such strings of questions when I was a boy." Son Don't you think if yon had done so you would lie able to answer some of mine?' TitBit. Inquiries "Who is the author of the saying that the man Is a licncfaca tor who maucs two uiacies or grasa grow where but one grew before?' Ignoramnus "Dunno; some lawnmowsr manufacturer, I suppose." Huffalo Courier. Hobbs and Dobbs were discussing men who stammer. "The hardest joh I ever had," said Hobbs, "was to understand a deaf and dumb man wh itammered." "How can a doaf a ad dumb maa stammer?" asked Dobs, iiasily enough," replied Hobbs; "a hi d rhamtW la ai fcaten.'V.'rifc Bit.