Jasper Weekly Courier, Volume 35, Number 42, Jasper, Dubois County, 30 June 1893 — Page 7

WEEKLY COURIER.

C. DO-A-JCi. Vubllnher. JASPER. INDIANA. A GAY GONDOLIER. One of tho World' Fair llaatiiiru Taler a Quint Swim. Divinely picturesque und eminently attuned to their artistic environment, perfecting tho beauty of the cameo setting of tho magnificent palaces lining the shimmering lagoons, the gondoliers are a feature eminent among the novel ulluriug spectacles at tho great uxpo sition. Chicago's erratic knight of the barometer and tho festive forecast huviug graciously meted out an acceptable article of weather from his treasure houso during tho last few days, the gay gentlemen from Venice have been given an opportunity to shine resplendent in all their linery of raiment and bask in tho smiles of fair maidens reclining on the cushions of tho gondolas, who see in each handsome wielder of the long oars a possible duke or count. The weather being as near an approach to tho Venetian article as tho gondoliers have yet experienced, they were in a particularly bright and happy inood. He fore the crowd arrived to distract their minds with the Reductive jingling of hard and shining coins they reclined in the sunshine near the piers where their fairy-like craft are moored, rolled cigarettes, listened dreamily to the music iloating over the lagoon from the bandstands and discussed the comparative merits of gondoliug and running peanut stands. From all that could be gathered from scraps of tho conversation, the sentiment was unanimous iu favor of tho former. .Standing on one of the bridges and watching tho boats glide so smoothly along, with the parti-colored hangings trailing in tho clear waters and the gay gondoliers softly singing in time to the rhythmic sweep of the oars, one would think that the romantic-looking oarsman lived in a Venetian palace, with its thresholds touching the water and its latticed casements half-concealing divers and various dark-eyed Italian beauties, to whom, iu accordance with the tradition and romance, the gondoliers, when off watch, would offer their hearts and hands in rounded verse to the accompaniment of lute, a guitar or at least si harmonica. Hut they don't. Down on the west bank of the south pond stands' a lowly frame cottage, rough and unpaintcd. Tho most romantic observer would never for a moment connect it with the trailing oar, or softly splashing water. It is more redolent of the soil, more suggestive of the festive lumber shover or the equal ly unostentatious sewer-digger. And here the gondoliers live, move and have their being. Shortly after the gilt head of Diana bad begun to glisten In the sunlight this morning a gondolier stepped out of the cottage and walked to the edge of the lagoon. He wore not the gay livery which illumes the gondolas later on, merely an undress uniform and a pensive air of melancholy. As he gazed at the water it was evident that he was filled with a wild longing toundre.sseven more yet and try a plunge in the lagoon. At length his determination became fixed, he hastily disrobed and a moment later took a flying leap into the water, instantly nnd irrevocably fracturing regulation "No. 14SÖ7" fot the guidance of visitors and employes. Any one wishing to use water in any form on the fair grounds must use that furnished by a concessionaire from Wisconsin or incur the dire penalty of walking behind a Columbian guard for some distance and possible incarceration in the cold-storage building or the Chinese theater. Hardly had the splash made by the audacious gondolier died away when there was a run on the bunk and a guard was qu hand. "Come out of that, now, yez murthorin' dago, or I'll run yez in," was his salutation. The gondolier grinned and quietly replied: "Si. Calcimine Ho lllustra clcM'hio cste boulevarda," or words to that effect. Then the gondolier calmly pursued his sinuous course down the lagoon, ignoring tho guard, who almost developed hysterics on shore. A few moment! later on an alarm whistle sounded neat bv. the guard rushed to respond aid the gay gondolier quietly swam to the bank, gathered up his clothes and stole into the little cottage with a smila which spoke volumes. Chicago Record Turn-About Transportation. One mode of transportation among the poor whites of southern West Virginia is known as "riding and hitch ing." It is resorted to when two travelers find themselves with only one horse and they are going too far to ride "double." In "riding aud hitching" one traveler takes tho horse and goes a mile or more, while the other foots it behind. The equestrian naturally Makes faster speed than the walker. So, after ho has ridden his share, he dismounts and hitches his steed to a tree by the roadside, and pushes on afoot In time the other walker comes to the hitched animal, mounts him and dcs on until hu has overtaken the first rider and got somo distance in front, when the operation is repeated. 'Thus each rides alternately, and tho orse gets a breathing spell. N. Y sm. . llnnunas in Jelly. Make a mold of joinon jelly. Cut bananas In slices and the bottom and sides of the mold, our tho jelly hi slowly, that it may not float the fruit. Set In ice water u"tll hard. If you have no mold, use a rohd, glass dish, l'ut the sliced baäaiiiiH on the bottom, and turn in a litJJc jelly; when hard, put a row around JnesldoH, with spaces between nnd fill "e center with bananas; cover with eJb' Reserve a cupful of jelly, and licn ready to servo break this up Willy and scatter it over the top."oukekccDcr.

ECAUSK the early tnornlns rackfr's erucUinj; ltko pOSMCSMCd, If any man's complaining that hu'H broken of hUrost; It any fellow's crusty over so much bun and lzz Anil tho boutlm; and tho popping int mm tell us who ho hi We'd like tho chance to scorn his poor, unpatriotic spirit, Who listens to tho rumpus and who doesn't like to hear it. Hurrah for all the noisy boys that riot everywhere With craclcor and torpedo and with hubbub and with blare; For every country lad who brlnjs a rosy country maid To city I tilts and soda-water, peanuts and parade; For every workman idling by exactly as ho pleases; I-'or every flag that shakes itself against the buoyant breezes: Hurrah for every orator that roars Jwlth might and main. Declaring that we lead the world and swearing It again; Who never mentions drawbacks, but with alle glance proud Believes la Yankee glory and yells it to the crowd! Hurrah for independence and tho swaggor of the nation That dares to snap IU Angers at the rest of all creation I Star-Spangled Danncr, oh, and Yankee Doodle doo; Hail Columbia. Happy Land: Red, Whlto and Illuc! I.et us have it once a year, boisterous and free, Vaunting it and Haunting it for all tho world to nee. Who's afraid of ridieulof Who's ashamed of bluster? Let us, just for one short day, polish up our luster! Mrs. George Archibald, in Judge. II E child's namo was un questionably Simeon. T h c man who had brought him to Ammoniavillc tavern called him that, and the boy had responded to the name In a sort of dull fashion, yet with some faint glimmer of intelligence. What his surname was no one learned; for the man abandoned him and disappeared before anyano had become Interested In tho question, and the boy appeared wholly unable, or sulkily unwilling, to answer any inquiries about himself. There was no police or detective force in this little hamlet, and the one coustable who was expected to "solve all dark mysteries and make all arrests in Ammoniavillc never learned anything about the past history of this child. Owing to some peculiarity discovered In his disposition, the boy was nicknamed "Sulks;" and as "Simeon Sulks" he was known forever after. lie was about five years old when ho was brought to Ammoniavillc, and he was a plain, dejected-looking child, not particularly bright. Life must have already become serious to him, for he shrank distrustfully from everybody who approached him. He never confided in anyone, nor became attached to any human creature. No one thought of adopting him: but ho lived on at the tavern because no one was suOlciently interested in his presence to drive him away. lie slept somewhere in the building generally curled up in a corner of the kitchen and ho ato such scraps as tho servants chose to give him. His wardrobe consisted of odd pieces of clothing which the guests of the inn chanced to give him in payment for the small services he rendered them, lie was not apt at nnj'thing, but in time he learned boot-blacking, nnd he could hold a horse long before lie could hold a fork. Jn course of time he had the oddest collection of old clothes that ever disgraced a garret However, when he was twelve years old he had managed to collect what aiiHwered for a suit of boy's Hothing, and, clothed in these habiliments, he drifted into the Ammoniavillc district school. Ammoniavillc was not a prosperous place; indeed, it was rich in nothing but endless, unceasing gossip and nicknames. It had at first been named Hartühornville, in honor of a certain Mr. Hartshorn, who had founded the village nnd who owned the only factory It contained; but the townspeople could not leave tho name alone; they changed it to Ammoniavillc, and so it remained. It had one school where tho sternest of schoolmasters made life miserable to his scholars from nine until four o'clock five duys of every week, and succeeded in making them hate learning as much as they were taught to hate tho scribes and Pharisees. And it was into this school that Simon Sulks drifted and enrolled his remarkable name. Mr. Horace Carver was the schoolmaster. Ho had a white, cold face, a pair of appalling spectacles which did not hide his steel-gray eyes, and a mouth that closed like a trap. Simeon shot n glance at him when he entered the school for the first time, and waa never known to look at him again. ThiH man and child were natural cnemieo. Mr. Carver had no patience with the boy's dullness, and ho ridiculed Simeon's Ignorance. A boy of twelve years only beginning to learn his letters, tad muttering and stumbling beftuaeh cbaUaafttoUDfrcn G. AU I

this seemed Inexcusable to Mr. Carver, He did not rellect that this waif had never had a chance to learn, and it never dawned upon his superior intelligence that thiH friendless child could have any pride or any feelings which ho bhould respect. Mr. Horace Carver had a littlft daughter at home. Every day sho played school with a dozen dolls of high and low degree. Some of them were made of wax, -had pointed faces, and curly, blonde wigs. These were the aristocrats of the school. Then there were china dolls, and one gray rubber doll that was considered the dunce, and which received all tho punishment that his severe young schoolmistress could inflict. (She hammered the rubber doll

...1.1. . t l i i i iii j Ith ; fertile, she slapped and pounded , it until she was tired, and occasionally she hung it to a bedpost by its neck. She was a veritable "chip of tho old block," and was conducting her school very much as her father managed his. Simeon Sulks was the rubber doll in Mr. Carver's school. I do not mean that the austere gentleman hung his scholar up by the neck, but lie pounded him without provocation. Ho went further; he continually prophesied that tho state would some day be compelled to hang Simeon Sulks by the neck, because of his total depravity. And yet tho lad never did anything worse than miss his lessons, and to fail to satisfactorily explain why he missed them. He was continually being plied with questions that were too suddenly asked or were too profound to penetrate to his slow Intelligence. Whj- he stayed in the school no one imagined, ne did not appear like one who had an inordinate thirst for knowledge. No one in the world tried to influence him to study, nor gave him the slightest encouragement to continue his efforts in that direction. While he was reciting, all other lessons were suspended; the scholars snickered or openly laughed at his blunders, and the teacher scolded or punished without restraint The boy endured this treatment with dogged patience until tho school year was at its close. Ho had so often been told that he was everything wicked that it would scarcely have been surprising if he lmd come to believe it, and to live up to his reputation. Hut he did not believe it. Deep beneath his reticence was a conviction that he deserved better trcatmeut than he was receiving. He had learned to hate the schoolmaster who punished him for Iiis ignorance. He had silently endured a great deal of suffering, but he was not so obtuse as he appeared. He had suffered more from ridicule than from Horace Carver's fertile; but the finishing trial of his patience came on the third of July the last day of school before the summer vacation. It had been Mr. Horace Carver's liab- ' SIJIEOX MEETS it to make a little speech before he closed the school for the summer, and on this occasion ho did not vary his rule. He told the old story of the early struggle in this country for independence. He told of all the taxes, battles and humiliation to which tho Hritir.li government had subjected the people in this country. He fought tho battles of Lexington and Hunker Hill over again. He told of tho privation, the cruelty, the cold by which the American soldiers suffered to make the United States an independent government. And then he got down to that celebrated declaration of independence, which is the keynote of our great government, which de clares all men equal and which rings with self-respect, justice and independ ence from beginning to end. roor downtrodden Simeon Sulks listened and bctran to think better of himself be cause ho was an American and entitled to some rights! When Mr. Horace Carver cold of the signing of the declaration of independence on that famous Fourth of July in 1770, he said that it was everybody's duty to celebrate the anniversary of this great event He meant to give the girls and boys of his school a treat on tho night of tho Fourth. Ho had bought a lot of fireworks for his chil dren, and they would bo set off on layfair hill after eight -o'clock. Kvery wholar in the school was invited to be there to witness tho display every scholar with one exception. Simeon Sulks, he said, had been an annoying and disappointing scholar ail tho vear. He had failed to learn Ins es.sons, had been sullen under reproof, had wasted tho teacher s time and dis tracted his fellow-scholars. Conse quently he had recommended that the trustees should not permit imeon to return to the school after tho vacation, and they hnd agreed to tho expulsion. Certainly they had learned from Mr. Carver that the boy was not a proper companion for clever scholars or good children. And in addition to the dis grace that ho had brought upon Simeon Sulks Mr. Carver had another punishment for htm. The teacher said that the boy would not he allowed to come to Playfair hill om tha night of th

Fourth Tho fireworks were not for him. In spite of all tho line speech about equal rights he was to share none of the pleasure that would be given ills mates, For the first time ho openly resented tho treatment he was receiving. Ho stoml up, his fuce llaming with anger and shame, and walked out of the schoolroom.

On tho night of tho Fourth all the children in Ainmoninviile, .save one, went up to Playfair hill. There was a deal of enthusiasm. The fireworks were hurried, for a. breeze had risen which portended a shower, and the pcr- ! formauce must needs bo over heforo t the riiu began. While the crowd was ! on the hill Simeon Sulks came out of 1... t. .....1 . "v "i uuu utau niun r uv mu roa(L Umler omj e carried a bottle wrapped in a piece of newspaper. llis face was very white, and be was as profoundly agitated as his nature purmittcd. Iiis blood ran sluggishly, but deep down in his inner consciousness had .slumbered a spirit of revenue, and to-night, for the first time in his life, it controlled him. He had readied a crisis in his history. He had determined to burn down tho school house! As he walked along bent on this evil mission, he recalled a'll the hardship ho had experienced within its walls. What had he done in the year ho had attended that school to warrant the treatment he had received? Ho had tried to learn, and if learning had come harder to him than to the others that was his misfortune, not Ids fault And the crowning acts of cruelty had been to prohibit him from seeing the fireworks and to expel him from the school. What harm would he have done if he had been allowed to go tol'luj'fair hill? If this was a frco and independent country then he would like to know why ho was not allowed to see the celebration of its independence with the others? And he wasn't to be allowed to go to school again! Well, it would be a good while before there was any school to go to, for he was going to burn tho old schoolhonse down. The people in Amrnoniaville were very slow about spending money.' It might be many a loug day before they would build another schoolhouso, and in the meantime Horace Carver would go without his salary. Simeon was revengeful enough to rejoice at that prospectNo doubt there would be a pretty blaze an Playfair hill, but there would bo a bigger one on Schoolhouse common. And tho people would come to see the latter blaze without any invitation. Everybody would be trying to put out tho fire. Well, they would not be able to put it out The schoolhouse was an old rat trap of a building that would burn like tinder, and there wasn't a big hose or a lire engine in the town. "Look out, lad!" somebody shouted to him. He was Interrupted in his incendiary DR. MAYUUKY. reflections by Dr. Walter May bury, who had drawn Ins horse up sharply. Something in Simeon's face as he shrank to one side of the road excited the doctor's p;ty. Ho recognized him as a boy ho had seen about tho livery stables. "Why don't you go to Playfair hill?" me doctor asict-u, icintuy. "There are great doings tip there." "1 wasn't asked," said Simeon, .shortly"Good gracious, but he's particular!" inc doctor sam to nirascif. lie was a young man and a merry one. "Ho doesn't look like a voting Ward McAllister, although he seems to be squeamish about ceremonies." The doa'or did not' drive on immediately. He spoke again to Simeon: "If you go you will see the fireworks and will hear Mr. Carver mako a speech." "I don't want to hear him," the boy said, inelegantly; "I've heard him jawing long enough," "Poor little chap!" the doctor said. "You seem to be down oa4 your luck. Well, here is a coin. Perhaps you can get somo pleasure out of that," And when he had tlroppcd the money in tho boy's hand the doctor drove away. There wnB a great lump in .Simeon's throat. This was one of the rwc occasions when he came near crying. Ho was already thinking better of his determination to burn tho schoolhouse when he happened to turn his head and saw one of Mr. Carver's skyrockets. A red flag would have been quite as pleasing to a mad bull. Ho shut Ids teeth very hard and hurried on to the schoolhouse. Tho bottle he carried contained lcc.roMhie oil, and in addition to this he had brought with him somo matches and a slow fuse. The latter he had picked up in the street that day after some coy had burnt all his firecrackers and had no further use for it Simeon opened n window of the schoolhouso and crawled in. Ho poured the oil on the floor and lighted the fuse. Then ho ran away. The wind was blowing from tho southwest It blew over Schoolhouse common hrto Dr. Marbury'a window

less than a hundred feet away. Um guilty boy had hidden under a kedf and was waiting for developments. Tho breeze had freshened when curious instinct mvde him creep out of his retreat and try to discover which way it was blowing. He trembled from head to foot, and ills teeth began chattering in his head. It had dawned upon his sleepy perception that if the schoolhouso burned Dr. May bury 's houso would also be destroyed. He was unwilling that this should occur. Dr. Maybury was tho only man who had ever spoken kindly to hits, and the boy would not injure him. He must go back and stop that fire. He went back and again climbed through tho open window, but before he reached the fuse tho oil ignited. There was an appalling glare of fire running across the floor. Then it appeared to encircle him. Ho was wild with fear and remorse, but he remembered tho water pail and struggled across the room to get it He caught it up and threw its contents upon the flumes; but he did not refill it lie was overpowered by a cloud of smoke which filled his lungs, and he fell upon tho burning floor. A day or two later he was vaguely conscious of being better cared for than he had ever been before. He was In d real bed with clean clothing on him. Gradually it came to him that he was in Dr. Mayburj's house. He was profoundly thankful to know that it had not been burned. Later he knew that the doctor had seen the blaze in the schoolhouse and had rescued him. Tho fire had been easily extinguished. The schoolhouse had a new floor, and this green wood had been scorched but had not ignited. The doctor had dragged the boy out and had cared for him. He did more than that; ho induced the boy to talk. Gradually the doctor learned that Simeon had wanted to be schooled, had stubbornly borne all tho hard knocks he had received in school btcausQ he was determined to learn, and had finally been expelled after all. Hcfore Simeon Sulks was well the doctor knew more of his character than anyone else had ever imagined. The boy had lost his obtnsencss. It was astonishing how his understanding and his better nature developed. He was never prosecuted for his attempt at incendiarism. There was no jail in Ammoniavillc, and no one cared to take tho trouble to drag him to tho county seat, when ho had succeeded in damaging nothing but himself. "Let us keep the little chap with us," Dr. Maybury said to his wife. "Cruelty was rapidly making a criminal of him, but kindnohs is making a gentleman of him quite as fast" "It was his gratitude to you that made him risk his life to save this house from burniug," said Mrs. Maybury. "He is not a brilliant lad. but his devotion will make him faithful to you while he lives. Tho Fourth of July has been a great day to Simoon Sulks. It has emancipated him from cruel treatment and has given him the protection and the liberty to which he is entitled." Frances Isabel Currie, in N. Y. Independent. A .Small Roy's Anticipations. This ycrc us boys are goin' tu hav a rakit i tell ycr. Were got 2& one-half pounds of powdir tide upp inn n bladdir & leven borla of twine rapt round itt az tight az ennythSng it were goin to sett itt orf in the strcte before the ICops walk upp. Mi! butt the winders will rattil wen the sploshuu taiks plais. it betes Kannons arl to pcesis. yude bcttir runn if U don't want tu git blode upp. ! Grone fokes wood 4 git there wuz enny Deklay Rashu of indypendent if thare wttz no little boys tu mailt Unit Its & shutc orf thare fingers wunst A yere. i dont blcve in scarin horsis it scttin

orf chasers to chaee pcepil but wy dont thay sta inn tho Hows like our dorg duz wen heo hcrcs the shutin. dont boys wanter hav sum fun on the day wich gorge washin tun maid spresly't them. II. C. Dodge, in Goodall's Sun. THE DAY AFTER. Ofl' Hoy I won't be down town for a day or two, Mr. Hrown. ÄIo mudder'a sick. Employer That's all right, my boy. was a youngster once myself. How mam fingers have you rot left? Chi cago Mail. 81s Miles of Roast IM. There has been a marked change in the fashion of Fourth of July celebrations since Capt Marryat visited this country in 1838. He was in New York on Independence day; nnd the sight thnt most impressed him there on that occasion was ''six miles of roast pig" that delicacy being the piece do resistance in every one of the hastily erected booths with which Hroadway was lined on both sides. Mrs. Cantwell "You should he ashamed to sell firecrackers to a little boy." Dealer "Well, ma'am, 1 do the best I can. With every pack I give a bottle of arnica." Philadelphia Pec-ord.

PERSONAL AND IMPERSONAL Mr. and Mrs. Grover Cleveland hav written to Mr. and Mrs. Henken, of Sheldon, la.: "Inclosed lind draft for 150. which please place in bank to th credit of your new-tnim democrat, llutli Clevelaad Henken, and may ab live to a ripe old age." Nicholas Thcodorianltes, a seventy-year-old Greek with long curia of golden hair falling over his shoulder and his full leard twisted into curls, who has posed for years before th most famous artists of Europe as a model for Jupiter, is on his way to tha fair. Thare lives a man ia Webster county, West Virginia, by the name o! Whorton, aged eighty-nine years, whoM hair aud beard are turning from whiU to black, lie is said to be cuttings new set of teeth. Ilia appearance U said to indicate a man of 40 years instead of one nearly 90. Charles N. Richards was appointed, through the influence of Charles Sumner, "mender of quill pens" for the United States senate, and, though chief of the stationery room, is still under that title on the pay rolL Only one senator, Mr. Morrill, uses quill pens, and these are bought ready made. The late Dr. Andrew Peabody, according to Dr. Edward Everett Hale, was looking over some accumulated papers one day, when he discovered that he was $40,000 richer than lie was the year before. Thereupon he wrote to tha assessors of Cambridge asking those oiliciuls to impose a tax on his property accordingly. Of King Mithridates of Pontus historians say that he spoke twenty-two languages and knew by name each one of his 00,000 soldiers. Cyrus, the Persian king, and Julius Cuosar were also familiar with the name of every soldier in their vast armies. Napoleon and tho duke of Wellington had the same faculty, though in a smaller degree. A young woman stopping in San Diego, Cal., recently went from the east to California, fell in love, married, settled down, broke up housekeeping, lost her husband and resumed her maiden name all within tho last month. Her husband during the same time left his situation, met and married the girl, changed his name twice and disappeared to parts unknown. Ex-Congressman John A. Itinghara, of Ohio, who took a leading part in the impeachment proceedings against Andrew Johnson, resides at Cadiz, O., and at the age of seventy-seven is in full possession of his mental and physical faculties, lie has been out of public life since his return from Japan in 1SS5 to which country he was United States minister under Mr. Arthur. Mrs. Gladstone is a regular attendant of the house of commons and sure to be behind the grill when her husband speaks, as she frankly admits to her intimate friends, "to see William home." For "William" has a habit of returning to Downing street insufficiently wrapped up unless Mrs, Gladstone is on hand to insist on what the great statesman terms "undue fussincss." Mrs. Cleveland drove up to tho White house the other day as Haron Fava, the retiring dean of the diplomatic corps, was leaving, and after exchanging greetings with him extended her hand in bidding him good afternoon. With a courtly bow he lifted her hand to his lips and kissed It like a true courtier, but, accprding to a veracious Washington reporter, two western congressmen who saw the act nearly fell off the portico.

A LITTLE NONSENSE.' He "Speaking of presence of mind, I remember beiug in a panic once when I lost my wits completely." She "Oh, was that the way?" Scribncr's Magazine. Droptin "How'd yon happen to call your paper the Sun?" The Editor "It was started principally to make things hot for a few people." Huffalo Courier. lVpi (to his sister) "Emma, if you give mo a bit of your cake I'll spoil the piano so that you won't be able to take a lesson for two weeks." Quips-of Buffalo. Hicks "Did you hear about Hrash ' death? He died quite suddenly." Wicks "It was like him. He always was so impulsive, you know." Horton Transcript "Which of us would you rathci have?" asked one of the two men who was running across the field. "I don't care," replied the bull, "it's a toss-up between you." Washington Star. He Got Her. Mundy (twisting tha corner of her apron) "I don't b'lievo we'd agree In politics, Josh. How do you stand on the tariff?" Josh "I'm fur hevSn'you only." Chicago Tribune. Hicks "The Rhode Island court, have decided that the father has tho ,legal right to aamc the baby. What do you think of that?" Mrs. Hicks "I think Rhode Island is about the smallest state in the union." N. Y. Times. Sub Rosa. Smith "May I mako a confidant of you?" Jones "Why cer talnly!" Smith "Well, I'm hard up and want fifty dollars!" Jones "You can trust me; I am as silent as the grave. I have heard nothing." Truth. A Valued Memento. Mother "Here Is a hair-pin, my child, that was used by your grandmother many yearn ago." Child "And did grandma use this to keep up her hair?" Mother "Mercy, no! That tvas her pickle-fork while she was at Vassar. .fudge. Cultivating tho Muse. Poet "1 have here some verses I would like tc submit. They arc not perfect, I admit; perhaps they want lire." Editor "You are quite right, sir; fire is what they want, but the waste basket will do just as well." Texas Siftingsr Lord English "What this country lacks, Miss Americas, is a leisure class such as we have in our country. I mean the class wo call gentlemen, who do not work for their Jiving, who take no part in business, but devote thelf time to observation and travel ander " Miss Americas "Ou, yes; w have that class in this country, but w sail them traraos." Tha WaUrlwry.