Jasper Weekly Courier, Volume 35, Number 17, Jasper, Dubois County, 6 January 1893 — Page 3

WEEKLY COURIER. C. DOVNJC, Publisher.

JASPEB. , - INDIANA. MY PEOPLE. Some clay Roes to stop tue chlnk, Somoclay Kwa to niuke the alle; Keelcun ev'ry feller thinks folks sorter top the pile. Tvo ko'n trav'lln' some I Mow Scnco las' summer, an', omchow, i'ukln' iK-oplo through ' through Ain't none boliU a canulo to My iHropIo. Maw 1 'nomi we'll tako her tlrst " ureal lrt'r up In caMco, Let time 'lo his very worst, I'vcn then alio ain't so low. Se Iht at a country dance, Ulvc her Just the leastcst chance, Ho'v HhoUl Jlno a jltf or reel Ohr they'ro mighty light o' heel. My people. Jlutl, he's over 11 vo foot ten, .stronger 'an a team o' mules, iot no u.o fer Ink nur pen, Never hail no truelc with schools. Hut to sco that feller plow, Spitttin' rails er huMdn', now, An you'd say ho niatlo 'er humCome lo workln', why, they're soma My people, up likes onions fried In tripe, Goes a flxhln' in tho crlck.s, Git hlra now to smoke a pipe, Taeklc him on politics S'prlsln' what the old man knows Kf he docs wear homespun clozo; 'evtr ketch him half asleep When he's talkin' ohl they're deep, My people. Sin. tbc's turnln' sweet nlxtoen, Don't need nono to take her part! IVarteat one you ever Moen, Lightnln't hut that gnl Is smart i-pi-llud tho teacher down oni night, Spt-lleil hltn down on "anthracite," l'urty, too, as some wild rose, So the others say that know.s My people. I don't cay they'd reeiy make No benatlon In their way: Mum. fer Instance, häkln' cake, Itud, fer instance, pttchln' hay, P.ip er sio, jlst common folk, Singln' hymns an' cruchln jokes. All that lifts 'em from the lest , Is. becus I lovo 'em best. My ieople. I'rnest MctiaRcy, In Manner of 3old. THE COWBOY PliEACIIEK. Ho Tolls a City Comrrogatioa of Thoir Fallinga COl'YItlGHT, 1JWS.1 ONY HILL." thc (cowboy preach cr, was in the city last Sun day, having gone in with a train load of cattle from the T X outfit. Knowing he would spend Sunday in the city, he had taken his best clothes with him, and attend ed services in one of the fashionable church es, having previously been introduced to the pastor. Upon being requested to speak a few words to the congregation, lie laid- his hip sombrero on the Bible and said: "I ain't accustomed to handlin' fine btock, sich as I see afore me. I reckon the sumo sort o' talk I swing at common range sinners would be misappropriate to turn loose at a bunch o' thorough breds. 1 ain't no reg'larly ordained preacher that's trained fur the work. If I war' bunched in with a lot o' aspirants fur the long coat an' white choker o' the ministry, I'd be spotted by the inspector afore I got up to the conference corral an ho cut onto' the hunch an' throwed back among critters o' my own grade. 1 ain't no orator, an con ldn't open a jackpot on w'at little education I've managed to pick up as other people throwed it away. I'm jest a plain, liard-workin' co'.vbov, into whose wicked heart the Hood o' (.Sod's holy love come like a sheet o' staked plains lightnin', an' whose sinful feet war' snatched "from the range of iniquity an' sot down firmly in the ever srrccn meadows o' salvation. Wen I looked back an' saw the boggy ground I'd been runnin on, saw the poisonous weeds o' deadly sin lurkin' in the invitin' grass o' pleasure, I trembled fur -ny companions o' the saddle an' rope jv uirr vvi.viT. MtnWat' Jet !l raw'"' "P tlinr. nn' "i It war' my duty to round 'em up " Jn thc Father' name ask them to "mc over onto tho great range o salo"su bonr thu ho-y brand ' thc walC(nr1 f0Ur ycMii 1,avo böcn tuc,-C(1 Wi " rt;ccssos o' tho past sense I n,.. ".,J' Wor,t don on the ranges o' , A stami Cn' an' 1 thllllk (- 1 1in LZ ,4fo,e th!s flooded fitted m Vvo bcon Pcp lots o Canccl tho dövi1'8 brami in cU,. ?sus --"'to throw many preV.l Ä?U1S nto tho Plain tr.iU tn Hm-v. 1 preach tn u i.r.,.u i,n actio n J i o'em lM .?.n tho roundups, I ,prh 'i. . l-rnni 8ahr.lt on ti r.tuVkMri UcvU Uraal dauiutticw 4

the other, an' hold em up afore my hearers an' describe 'em in everyday

talk. I don't spend the hull week euttin big vords outo' the dictionary to hold my Sunday sermon together. "An' now, my friends, that'n all th claim X make to bein' a preacher, an as I said afore, my style o' talk may not sound good in a corral o' this high quality, thar'fore I'll cut it short an make as few bad breaks as I kin. "Do you know, my friends, that cow boys make better Christians than you city people da Some o you look like that pinches yer cars, but it's a dead squar' fact, an' I'll tell you why. Tho hoy out on tho range a ridin' after stock is with God all the time. Ho lives right in tho bosom o' nature, in a country yet as Uod made it, not despoiled by the hand o' man, an' he hus nol)ody but Ood to talk to. Wen ho sees thc beautiful flowers u-noddin him a graceful 'good mornin" from their grassy beds beside the trail, he knows that God put 'cm thar' and his heart throbs with thanks fur thb pleas ure Iiis eyes have enjoyed. "Wen the little birds see him a-cora-in' an' git near thc trail an' sing in music no human throat could produce. he know.s they sing the Master's praise an' ins glad soul echoes tho ripplin meiody. Wen he comes to a crystal brook that dances over the rocks an sparkles back tinkling laughter to the ticklin' rays o' sunshine an' gits down off his horse to quench his thirst, he realizes that Clod caused that water to burst forth from the earth fur the use o' man an' beast, an' his heart breathes thanks as he quaffs the refresh in draught. "If thc clouds bunch up an' heaven's tears fall upon the eart h, he don't look through laoe curtains as yon folks do an' growl at the weather 'cause it's goin' to keep you away from theater or social blowout, but he unties his slicker from his saddle, puts it on um says: I his .rain is a godsend. The grass '11 push right out o' the ground an' stock U get hog fat' "An' sec him w'en ho camps fur thc night. He pull off his saddle an' stakes his horse out to graze, a singin the songs o' heaven, an', after his plain lunch, spreads his blankets on the grass, Ihen he kneels down beside that blanket bed an' prays. Thar's nobody thar but God an' him, an' he finds it the easiest thing in thc world to whis per his thanks an' his desires into the cver-listenin' ear. He prays fur the rope o' salvation to circle over the boys yit bogged in sin an' fur the Almighty hand to stiddy them that's jest biu pulled out o the mud, an' his prayer is sincere. He knows he is all alone, far from human habitation, whar' deadly reptiles lurk an' wild beast prowl at night, an he asks God to keep an eye on him, an' guard him from peri!. Then ho rolls up in his blankets and lays gazin up at the sliiunr jewels set in the crown o heaven, an Iiis reverence fur the Great King increases as he sees the wonderful work o' His hands. Countless thousands o' shinin' orbs meet his view worlds like our own, greater than our own, all follerin their paths through space with theprc' cision o' soldiers at drill, while through them, like a great captain, the moon silently plows its way. He knows that the beautiful gem garden war' planted by the hand o God afore the be wildered gaze o' the first man rested on its twinklin' loveliness, afore the birth o' humanity, an' he feels w'at a blessed privilege it is to serve the Master whose hand could stud the heavens with such brilliant glories. "Wen at last his eyes are softly closed by thc finger o' the angel o' sleep an' he floats from the shores o' consciousness out onto the tranquil sea o' slumber, his sleep is untroubled an' he rests as calmly as a babe upon its mother s bosom. "Now, my friends, how docs your side o' thc pictcr show up? Some of you look sort o narvous an uncom fortable, jest us a calf looks w'en it sees a hot brandin' iron comin', an' you think I'd better not foller the trail I'm on too fur. Thank you, grand ma. A good ol Christian woman down thar, with thc calm o' Heaven on her dear ol' face an' flic light o' (Sod's love in her eyes jest nodded to me, an' I know her nod meant: 'Give it to em, Hill, fur most of 'em deserve it.' "How many of you ar' everyday Christians? Wat I mean is: How many of you live right clost up to God every day in the week? Hoi' up yer hands! Less n a dozen! Ihat s a mighty poor sliowin' o' fat stock in sich a big herd. I know you are all Sunday Christians; that w'en in yer grasps fur wealth an' fur the pleasures o' life you run up agin Saturday night you ask the devil to excuse yon fur a day. an' spend Sunday a-kickin' the rocks out o the trail to Heaven that you've allowed to roll in durin' the week. "Wen some o' you go home to-day you'll find a grand dinner ready fur you -do you ever think o' catin' a cold Sunduy dinner an' allowin' yer cooks to spend an hour with God? an' you'll set down to that dinner, an' the women'll talk about how the other women war' dressed at church, an' the mcn'll talk about the business w'ich they fqel they've slighted by layln' off a day, an' will one thought go fords God at that meal? True, the head o' the farally'U ask God's blessin' on the food, or ask some visitin' brother to do it fur him, but the blcssin'll be that same ol' worn out one that he or the visltln' brother has used till it's lost it's usefulnes, an' it won't git above the flavor o' the roast chicken afore him. It is a petition he begun on w'en he first went to housekecpin', an' the youngest child at the table kin say it over as well as he kin, fur ho hasirt changed a word of it sence he first huhg it together. It has long ago ceased to- be a thank offcrin' to God an' a prnyer furHis blessin' cn the food about to be tackled, an' has become but a recitation from the lipr, with no assistance from the heart, "Amid worldly chatter the worldly appetite 11 lie satisfied, while spiritual foczl ar' never givfcn a thotight. Wen the day closes, you'll pull off yer good clothes an dust 'em an' lay 'cm away till God's next inspection day, an' you'll lay yer religion w with 'em. At to-

I morrow's dawn tlm church scene of to

day 'l bo to soma o you as but th shadder of a dream, as you tumble into the great corral o business. You will not have slept the peaceful sleep o the Christian cowboy In your close rooms. "You will uot have gazed 'up Into (Sod's garden as he does, an' have gone to sleep wonderin' at His omnipotence, acknowlcdgin' His supreme power an thankiu' Hlin fur the privilege o' serv in' Him. When you go into the busy streets you'll see no beautiful flowcrti nor wavin' grass, nor crystal brooks to remind you o' the eternal Lord of all. No pretty birds will voice the music o heaven to delight yer ears. You'll sea nothin' to remind you o' God, an you'li bend every thought fords some plan to hoi' on to wa't money you've got an git a rake at some other feller's pile. You'll give the devil six days in the week an' God one. That isn't a squara deal. No, my friends, the city Christian don't live as close to God as tha Christian cowboy docs. "I kin see by yer looks that my words have not hit some o' yer ears pleasantly, an' I'm glad of St. They may set you to thlnkin', fur you know I've give you a dead ringer on the truth. Some o' you are scowl in' at me, as much as to say I dasscnt go 'round behind the incctin' house an' talk that way, but w'en you git home. an' yer crank hair uncurls, you'll think better o' me. Jest recall my words w'en yer alone, an' cut out the truth o' w'at I've said from the untruth, an' swaller the pill. It may be nasty to take, but it'll sure do you good. I know thar' ar' OS HKAVKJi'8 TRAIL. good, sincere, everyday Christiana here, an' they won't wear a pinchin' shoe. The shoe'll fit lots o' you, however, an' 1 earnestly entreat such to break away from the devil an' take God into full partnership every day in the week. Explain to Him that you've make a misplay, an ask him to overlook it He'll be reasonable with you. Jest grab the crank o' repentance in the right spirit, an' you'll find He won't b'ar down too hard'on the grindstone. "This are the first talk I ever made to an educated congregation, an' it may be I've burnt the brand in too deep to be comfortable; but that's the only style o' preachin' I know anything about If I've raised too high a blister maybe yer pastor, my gcod brother here, 11 apply some soothin' salve at to-nighfs sarvices. Adios, an' may God bless you all an' keep yer Christian spirit up to Heaven's desired standard.". Cait. Jack Ckawfokd. WHY HE WAS CONFIDENT. The rrUoncr Kr pt III Strongrftt Krulrn Till Mm Knil or the Trial. It was a case of chicken stealing, and the prints of bare feet were found in the gravel around the henhouse. The lawyer for the prosecution was one who, if he had been, Napoleon llonaparte, never would have crossed the Alps; he would simply have pulled them up by thc roots and thrown them over the fence. The prisouer was an unknown tramp, and lame at that "You say yon don't know anything about this theft? ' queried the lawyer, fiercely. "That's what I swore to, sir," said thc tramp, meekly. "You were in the back yard of Slamtipp's house about supper time?" "Yes, sir." "You know the location of thc hen house?'' "Yes, sir." "Yon were seen on the road in front of the house some time after dark'" "I was there, sir." "You were In the yard after dark?" "Yes, sir, and after supper also, sir," replied the prisoner, with a wan smile at his innocent little joke in such a place. "And you were seen by the cook sitting on the doorstep with your shoe off?" "Yo, sir; there was a pebble in it that was too big to get out of thc same hole It got in at" "2s ow, sir, I propose to prove that you made those tracks with your bare feet while yon were stealing the chick ens of the plaintiff." "You can't do It sir," said the pris oner.' mildly but firmly. "And why not, pray? " asked the law yer, with fine sarcasm. "Hccause, sir, I've one wooden leg. sir.," lloston Globe. Sign of the llnntijmoon. He always carrlestwo new grips and two umbrellas. He always offew her his arm. He's always clean shaven and wears, besides immaculate linen, a careworn, worried expression. He always pulls out his watch, pre sumably to see how much of the honeymoon Is left When he registers at the hotel the "and wife" is written twice as large as his own name. She never falls to nsk how many umps of sugar he tak es in his coffee lloston Ilcacon. -"Sav, Job, I havo just patented a new invention." "What is it?" "A theater chair that will sink to within a few Inches of thc floor when a woman who wears n tall hat lts upoa it" Uoaton Gazette.

GIVE US FREE SUGAR.

The n-rmiim Trulli That an Apparent hmiill llnty I'hU Into thn lNirUr-t of the NUK-r Truat. If there is one duty in tho McKinley bill that is more of a curse than any other it is the duty of cent per pound on refined sugars. It produces almost no revenue at all but puts about f'-O,-000,000 a year into the pockets of the sugar trust It, there was any doubt that tho industry of refining sugar would not remain in this country with out such government aid, there would be an excuse, from a protection point of view, for this duty. Hut there is none. Sugar is refined as cheaply here as anywhere on this earth. II. O. Havemcyer testified to this fact several years ago. Tho only excuso the rcpub licans had for leaving this duty, was that it would give them an opportunity to fry fat ot of the sugar trust an op portunlty that was utilized during th last campaign -to the extent of tlOO.OOO or J200.000. The sugar trust, the sole beneficiary of the sugar duty, has an unusually un savory record. To gain complete control of the re fining business in this country, it has purchased refineries at three or four times their cost, only to close them up to restrict production. A few months after it was formed in November, 1SS", but ten of the twenty original refineries in thc trust were in operation. It lias reduced wages in refineries to $1 per day for common labor. Is o Araer icans will work in the intensely heated rooms at these wages; hence their places have been titled by Hungarians, Poles and Italians. It makes use of the rebate system to kill its competitors. Hy this system large wholesale grocers who bought only of thu trust obtained special prices. It has, since it gained complete con trol of the refining business last winter, depressed the price of raw, while it has advanced the price of refined sugars The cost of refining is less than cents per pound. As the per capita consumption of sugar in tho United States is about 70 pounds, each differ ence of 1-16 of a cent between the price i of raw and of refined sugar extorts about M.riOO.OOO from the pockets of the people and puts it into the pockets of the trust Without any duty the trust would be making about $30,000,000 a year clear profit nearly 100 per cent With the duty it can and does raise prices yt cent higher and adds $-20,000, 000 to its already enormous profits. If the duty of 14 cent per pound were levied upon raw instead of on refined sugar it wonldproduce about $15,000,000 1 a year revenue and would encourage sugar growing in the south. The peo ple would pay tho same for sugar as now, but only a small portion would go to the trust Thi would bo far j preferable to the present duty. Hut At- 1 . . . . . M uiu peupie wan i, eiuirc-iv iree sugar, aud they will not be content till they get it PROTECTION ROT. Protection I the Deadtr Enemy of Farmer. the I'rotection more correctly "aggres sion is the deadly enemv of our farm J era; for, while the general tendencies are for monopoly to absorb our rural ( population, a protective policy, such as . we now have, derives its power to assist monopol, not from the planets, not from the mountains of the moon, but from the pockets of the farmers. Protection narrows down, to the farmer, the margin of profit between effort and result Thus his opportuni ties for progress are not only limited, but arc actually being reduced to noth ing. 1 he results are that thc class who, In the early days of America's hisj tory, laid thc foundation of its present greatness are in iie future to be deprived of the necessary opportunities for economic power, for political power. I for the gam of knowledge, for culture. for the exereisa of the higher faculties through which progress is possible. There can be no escape from this con elusion, for reports and proofs come to us from all parties and from all quar ters that the larmers ot America are becoming hopelessly involved in financial ruin. Who now control all our great financial schemes, with their far-reaching social and political consequences, but the men who are secured a profit In their undertakings by government at the expense of such as the farmer? Who hold the balance of power in our legislation, but the men who are secured an abundant reward at thc expense of those situ ated as the farmer? ho arts able to give to their families the shelter and luxuries of $100,000 homes, and to their children thc advantage of travel and Kuropcan education, better than those who are subsidized by government at thc expense of those who are situated as the farmer? WhoAlffh higher seats, and in finer churches, and in more costly robes, than those who are permitted to carry on a practice of legalized brigandage against the pockets of such as our farmers? Who travel up and down our valleys, occupying our palace and first-class cars, fill our best hotels, to a greater extent, than thc men who arc sanctioned by government in effecting combinations for systematic raids on the farmers' narrow incomes? J. II. Elliott, in American Farms, Their Condition and Future. THE SUGAR BOUNTY. It I an Unjaat 1'ltce or "Protection" That Krulrr the Attention or the New Ad. mliiUtrAtlmt. While "protection" was in vogue in .his country and sanctioned by a majority of the voters it was only fair that the capitalists of the south should receive their share of protection spoils. This they never obtained. About the only duty which gave southerners any protection at all was the sugar duty, which was probably worth $12.000,000 or $15,00D,OOO to a few hundred, or thousand, sugar growers. Hence when McKinley and his pals took the duty off sugar ! that Increased duties could be put on other articles, to give more protection to northern trusts and monopolies, it was necessary, to maintain a semblance of falrncst, to throw a small crust from the big protection loaf to thc south. 1 he bounty of two cents per pound, given to all but the nullest

producers, was that rast It ta worth about $10.009,000 to southera sugar planters; but the red tape and delay ia obtaining it has caused a little rebellion Iowa there. The Lotulsna Sugar Planters associatioa will sead a strong delegation to Washington to urge the abolition of the undemocratic and demoralizing bounty system. Kroat all over the sugar growing district letters are being showered upon Mr. Cleveland and the democratic leaders of congress asking that the bounty oh sugar be abolished and that duties be restored. They would prefer a daty of IK cents per pound to the bounty of 2 cents. Hut "protection" ao longer has the sanction of a majority of the voters. Ia fact only about one-third of thera have accepted this theory for the, last two or three years. Two-thirds have declared that "protection" is a fraud and a rubbery, and that it, with its bounty and subsidy relations, are unconstitutional and undemocratic They have declared that the government shall discontinue to give assistance to certain industries to the detriment of other and evea more important ones. Henceforth, bo industry and no mill can rely upoa government support Every business man must be independent and deserve success or go to the walL The next administration will not be his rich father-in-law partner. There wiU be no east, west north or south. Government help and patronage will be withdrawn from all and extended to none. The south has contributed hundreds of millions to the Carnegies, Haremeyers and Dölaus of the north during the last thirty years. The 5,000 millionaires of the north owe much to the south, but the debt will never be paid. The south should feel thankful that "protection, which has been plundering its people as well as the masses in all other sections of the country, will ba stopped; and that all sections and all industries will be put on fair and equal footing. If the bounty system were worth twenty times as much to the south, it would be a small sacrifice to make to get rid of the robber tariff system. "THE HEALTHIEST STIMULUS."

Free Ittw Material Hotter Protection to American Industrie Than Governmental Alllanre. Now that thc election is over and we cannot be accused of partisanship ia dealing with the subject of economics, we want to say a few words to manufacturers. When the McKinley egg was in process of incubation in. the committee rooms of the national capital in the spring and summer of 1S00, no one could get thc sympathetic ear of the Ways and means committee unless he presented himself as a petitioner for higher duties upon something. To the man who felt that duties were high enough as they were, the framcrs of our present legislation showed a bored indifference, while those who went so far as to ask that certain duties be low ered were "traitors," "free traders. "foreigners" and bitter enemies to American industry. Upon this paper particularly were the vials of wrath of the McKinleyitcs poured out to the last drop; and the Free Trade Economist was thc customary terra of endearment of thu protectionist press when referring to the pleas of this paper ia behalf of moderation. Things are now changed; the result of the late election Is fair notice served upon the American manufacturers that several rows o( bricks were coming off thc Chinese walL If thc recoil against McKinley extravagance does not result in sweeping away practically all protection, the change in the rates upoa manufactured products will be in the main compensated for by the advan tages of free raw material. But in any case, the fiat of the nation has gone forth, aud manufacturers can no longer rely upon the government for their market This means thc healthiest possible stimulous to our manufactures. particularly to those of textiles ia which value and stability depend so much upon tho artistic quality. This means that if manufacturers want this market they have got to deserve it It brings technical education to the front and puts a premium on skill, en ergy and steady improvement in de sign, quality and finish. We feel now. as we felt two years ago, that a tariff covering thc actual difference in actual labor cost between corresponding for eign and domestic fabrics is what oar manufacturers arc entitled to; and it will not be surprising if within the next year "the Free Trade Economist," without having mowed a hair's breadth from its original position, is looked to as thc champion and advocate of pro tection to American industry. Hat whatever may be the immediate course of legislation, It is merit of product. not alliance with any party or with the government, upon which the manu facturers must rely for their market, whether foreign or domestic. Dry Goods Economist "ReBabllran Protection I a Fra4." The people have so declared. It ia robbery of the poor bv the rich. In stead of protecting' the hard working people and increasing their earnings, it increases their expenses and turns the surplus over to trusts. Instead of re ducing prices It always prevents their decline, and often compels as to pay more than foreigners for our own man ufactures. Instead of oncnhicr hnm markets it shuts us out of foreign markets. Instead of bringing -peace and plenty to all, it has brought millions ta a few and poverty to millions. It is a delusion and a snare. The people are sick and tired of it and have applauded the position of thc democratic platform. Heecher tntrotlnrtlen. Some years asro. at a dinner of tha Hrooklyn Reform club. Mr. IWrhr-r in. trmluced David A. Wells after this line: "At thc last dinner von littcntMl to th addrcsi of Mr. Kelly, the great advocate of protection, from Pennsvlvanfn- ami ho told you how he had formerly been a iree traucr, wncrcas he is sow a protectionist Now, to-nlirht you will hear Mr. Wells, who was once a nr. tcctlonlst but Is now n fr These two distinguished gc&tlcmea have met half wav: that U tn Wells, In going up. has met htnllv vm. lag dowa.

PERSONAL AND IMPERSONAL.

KossHta Wars the harden of his venerable years iapat ieatly. To many other obvorvatioB of a like character he added recently ia coaaeetkm with his yoth birthday: "For me. the per iah without a home, the Preacher's words are fall of sigaifieasee when he says that for the son of maa the day of his death is better thaa thc day of bU birth, Mavroyeai Bey, the Tarkkh ratalstcr, is a great favorite ia Waahiagtoa society. Being unmarried, he cannot eatertaia as much as he would like at his owa house, bat he gets up aaater ous theater parties which, beiag properly chaperoned, not infrequently terminate in charming little sappers for the yonng people who are his guests. The sew member of parliament from India is Mr. NaorijL He is the son of a Parsee priest, and was the first satire professor ia any leading college ia India. lie held the chair of mathematics and philosophy ia the Elphiastone College school, and has been a prime factor in many progressive movements for reform in India. lie has bow lived ia England for thirty years. Mrs. Langtry has added yachting to her fads. She has jast paid 25.000 for Lord Ashburton's beautiful aad swift steam yacht, Lady Mabel, bow at Cowes, after a long cruise with his lordship aad family. Mrs. Langtry is said to have recently declared that, beiBg bow 49 years of age, it was time that shebegaa toeajoy life, instead of fooling away her money and time in theatrical speculations Montesquieu once applied very happily thc old proverb, "Lespetitscadeaax entretiennent l'amitie," He was at variance on some parliamentary question with a gentleman of position aad influence, but who was also somewhat bigoted. "I would stake my head on it," said the latter to Mbatcsqaiea. "And I accept it gladly," Montesquieu replied; "for trilling presents cement friendship." A plucky little Louisiana woman, who runs a big saw-mill in thc pine districts of the state, and whose business ability has enabled her to amass a fortune In her unusual sphere, lately attended a Convention of southern lumbermen hi New Orleans; and the chivalrous southrons, recognizing her ability, appointed her on several responsible committees and gladly availed themselves of her knowledge of the business. Lord Tennyson lived far longer than thc average British poet ShakR pea re died at 52. Milton at 03, Byroa at 36. Scott at 61, Pope at 56, Thompson at -IS, Campbell at 67, Coleridge at 62. Cowper at G9, Butler at 62, Barns at ST, Shelley at 30, Keats at ?4, Leigh Huat at 75, Chatterton at IS and Chaucer, "the father of English poetry," at 6. Tennyson was born three years before Browning, who died, it will be re meatbe red, in IS SR. Mine. Camilla Urso, the violinist, had a narrow escape from a serious accident in New York recently. She was walking on the boulevard with her husband, Mr. Frederic Laer, ia the early evening, when a man oa a big bicycle with neither bell nor laatera, ran directly over thera, knocking them to the pavement The law-breaker made his escape in the darkness, and fortunately no injury beyond a few bruises was sustained by the surprised pedestrians. The drawing-room at Ha warden castle is a veritable museum of curios. Mr. Gladstone's admirer have testified their devotion by the gifts they have showered upon the "Grand Old Maa." Among the golden-wedding gifts are a large gold inkstand from the prince of Wales, a gold model of an afternoon tea service aad at least half a dozen gold miniature axes. One of Mr. Gladstone's cherished possessions is a pencil-case made in thc shape of aa axe and bearing on the blade the inscription: "For Axing Questions." This was a present from the princess of Wales, "A LITTLE NONSENSE. A Real Gallant Mother "So yoa wish ray daughter for your wife? Ha (gallantly) "Partly that, madam, and partly that yoa may be my mother-in-law." Detroit Free Press, Mrs. Mason "Your wife does a great deal of fancy work, doesn't she, Mr. MigffsT Mr. Miir?s "Ahem, yes that is, she lias alwavs objected to doing any real work,' later Ocean. ("one Into Seclusion. "Young Dudely has entirely withdraw from contact with the common herds of thi mortal snhen " "Hnw oV "11 srw wears aa eye-glass. Chicago Dispatch. .Ma, said a aewsaaper man's sob. "I know why editors call themselves 'we " "WbyT "Sos the man that doesa't like the article will think there arc too many people for him to tackle. nssuiBgum aiar. "You want me to ret on the roof of that towcrr said the workman. "Vm." "Do you notice there's a clock ia the tower?" "I know it What difference does that make?" "I'll hare to rkmrm ' you for working over time." Washing ton aiar. His Expectations. Old Creases 'You want to marry rar dansrhtf r. ekf Well, what are your prospects, young man? 1 oang Knurre "I hope to come into a fortnae some dar." "Whose fortune?" "Yours. Uifihnm. ton Leader. Hicks "Your wife, of cotim U & lover of the beautiful." Wicks e rally speaking, yes; but she doesa't particularly dote on the women I consider beautifuL At least, I gather as much from her coaversatioa. KotnB Transcript -They Never Cease Goin? 11 n Mr Wantling "Diamonds are now taW from a depth of nearly feet in the South African mines." Mr. Waatlinr Yes; but they're hhrh ewoMc-h W th time they get into an American jeweler's window. Jeweler's Weekly. A provincial paper calls attention to a fcedinr-bottlc (L nnrsirur.w. tic) advertisement which oonolnde with the words: "Whea the baby U done drinking it must be nascrewed and lakl in a cool place under a tip. If the baby does not thrive nn trrnA naitlr H should be boiled." Loadan Truth. "