Jasper Weekly Courier, Volume 33, Number 16, Jasper, Dubois County, 2 January 1891 — Page 1

Weehlu QTnuftEf VOL. 3. JASPER, INDIANA. FRIDAY. JANUARY 2. 1891. NO. 16.

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CARRIERS' TALES. "Veracious Stories Related by the Boijs Who Dclicer Your Papers. By CURTIS PUN'H AM. . : vrizM. lfTiJ A Hjliw iwrw.1. ku Tn. rds. who wait our comia' In the wwmu'orct nttit. And &- wnit in v iin (Vausp lelieve la srnrtm' right). You f, n-tii;n'rt wonder, don't yoa. what the Carrier Boy w ill do Wfcea they Uave famblie tu support the same a some of you? Tbe most ef aa are growia mighty fast, ns you can tell By slxin' p our jacket and our pantaloons n. well. It's gcttio' pretty serious wliea la a year or two Tbe Carrier will have fntabllcj to support tbe Kime as you. So this Now Year we offer yoa our Carriers' Fairy Tale Please buy Nome xtra copies for your friend, 'i'ie rapid sales And mod'ratc profits suit us best ef course you'll sec us through, Slice we will soon hare farablie to sapprt the msw as yoa I

EE AST WHEX THESE TRCTKFCL TALH3 WERE TOLD, "e call them Fairy Taks, 'oatM day or B'Sbt We 1 tk by a dira asd ikkering t. iklii

Down tn '.... r -onr oj the room Behind the I'ns. and sometimes in the glooni. It seemed like little Elves and Guomaa mpt out To gather wht our cl:u t all about. And so, jrt"tuii4 often where Wf were, Too intcrttl in sonic Tale to Mir Or nute the flight of time, h Hidden clack And clank of tlying wheel wouW it.trt tu To earth, and "Fold your paper!" that command Would end the spell ami banish fairyland. Twa there we at and told thex Talei, aud when Th Press warawd to Its noisy task, 'tvae then The Camera dally toll began THE SNCVVDALLS WtRE FROZEN. An CmMhmh Title of Hip tSuttle if .Slmpnn Field. This tnle wa volunteert'd by one, A you"ll perceive, win the tun, Aud Who for nuuoii tbit are plain Won't care to we the like nyuiu. Von hure all hcen to!d That our warriors loId, .To their extreme concern, Were forced to yield On imp-on- Field But why you have yet to learn. The rival force H id pursued acotme Very much to be deplored; i And talked so loud

P 4 Thty could not be luored. So faptatn Jim Surrounded him With hr Micro traennd tried White Captain Jack Ami hi rude pack Responded full of pride. Thof r chance looked slim To Captain JltU, For they numlwred only ten. While w M-t out To put them to rout With a dozen Klliiiit men. We had our way, Ami New Year's day W.h nameil for the final charRe; Near SimpW field The foea were concealed, And Siniion'K field u'aa lare. But larger yet To our regret, We found wan Slmpfton'a heart; In his cattle stalls Thev stored anowlialb, Which doomed us from the start. Our warriors bold Behind the fold For aheep were all arrayed And knowlnx naught Of tlw foe'rt dark plot, Were not a whit dismayed.

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A frosty night, To their delight, Embnrraaiod uh Minewhat; Hut a midday thaw Dinpelled that (law, And furnished us with ahot. Ob, who can say That on that day Our valor whh In doubt? Whan blow for blow With sphcrea of snow We charged them all alntitt We charged them down lh low the town, And charged them up a gala; In the-altle .thed They hid their heal, Bo fierce the froxen rain. Then, with a shout For their redoubt We Marted on a runTo learn, alas! How it came to pas The iluht had just twguul Our captain thought The foe was caught Within that cattle abed; To storm it well With shot and shell At bis command we sped. ,

"Ilave at them, then. My gallant men!" Our leader blithely cried. "Xnriell norfihot Defends the upot Where these poltroons now hldcl" As soft an clay The miow now lay Eenrath the noonday un; It made us vmile To think the while Our foemen they had none. Hut oh! how Mwn We changed our time That fateful New Year' dayl Thoe frozen halls, Storel in the stalls, Were not at all like play. Our lefon was twught With the first onslaught, For the volley that laid us low. With painful t hum pa And blue black bumps Was a volley of frozen snow. On Simpson's field We were forced to yield, Our twelve men to their ten; And now you know Why thin was m. But let theiu try aainl AB'M LINC'M JONES. The Diverting Tale of a Small Darky hiiiI m Lars Watrrmelnn. No Carrier quite so small and dark Has ever made so fine a mark As this Mine Ab'm Litic'in .fonea. Hu's three feetaix in height, and owns A route that jwys so very well He dresMss like a howling swell. A ningle fault his friends bewail, And you'll olmerve that in this tale The tale of Ab'm Llnc'iu Joues: Oh, down byde rlbberon the sandy grown', Wha de melons grow so Wg, DrTs a high bo'd fence built all aroua'-

Itut dHtTlou' Ktop dla ni. On top ob de fence wha iley coteh yo' ohli Am sj)Ikt dat make yo Kinile, An ! Iio'ila sj c!ow!skeetera can't git is Hut dat don' stop dia chilw. De KHV) am locked like de big hen roost Xejc' do to de cullud chu'eh Golly, fnlkadatV waitin' for to be lnt'duced Don't know dm darky much! De Ikm am waitin' wiv de ol' ahot gua. An' a b'ur trap watch for yo': De folkt dat'n )ectin' to ee some fun Don' know dis chile for aho. Yo' nebler kin war' cullud man dat way, Deni ineloji am too Mvecti De bit; b'ar trMp an' de gun come to stay

N(.'l)lcr mm'; dis chile done eatl An' how he uet In, yo' like to know Jen' come erlong wiv me By de aide ob de fence whar de thick brush grow De bohs he nebber we. Dar's whar yo' kin fln' de tunnel dat leads To de watermelon patch; An dar yo' kin eat and spit out de aeeda Till yo' heah de gate unlatch. Golly, den yo' scoot like a possum up a tree. For do boss am after yo'l . Scoot lwck frew de tunnel bafo he kin see, Je as fas' as yo kin go I Bight dar am de spot die ctdle almor Don gib hi!H'lf away. FuV time dids't know how long, ob co'se. Was les' for him to stay, Oh, de stars nebber shine like dat befo' (No moon yo' see dat night) l)i watermelons all dead rie, an' se Jtt' took do blggea' ia sight. Etick le knife lu de center an' heah hlra crack 1 Dis melon couldn't wait no mo'. So jufcy an' red an' daseexli so black. His time hah come for alio' I Dig out de middle au' swallow him quick An' keep yo' eye on de gate, So de Ixjvi when he come for to make yo' sick Be shush to come too late. FuV half ob de melon done tickle dta chile Like nebber he tickled befo'; So he tackle de las', keepin watch all de while, For to take de hint to go. An' jes' aa be swallow de las' big bite An' done spit out de seed, De boss he see by de gate wiv a light Golly, dat was all he need! Sho't cut for de tunnel, mos' soar'd to death, Do las' jump am a slide. An' got to de fence clean out ob breath Wiv all dat melon inside! Oh, den what trouble hab struck dis nig He couldn't get frew at all! Yo' f-ee de watermelon was so big An' de darky am so small! But de Iioh nebber catch dis chile dat way, 'Case he lieen dar befo'; Jus' scoot for dc place dat melon lay As fas' as he kin go, An' git inside ob de empty skial (Dat am a fac' Indeed; When de darky scoop dat melon la He done spit out de seed!) De boss come erlong, but nebber kin tell Somebody done wit his fill, As' de higgea' watermelon am an empty shell. Dis darky keep so still, Oh, down by de ribbcr on de sandy groun' Whar de melons grow so big, t Dar's a high lio'd fence built all aroun', But dat don't stop dis nigl THEY GOT NO SCALPS. The HnrTHwlHR Tate of Five Injn Fighter. The "Injun Fighter" took the floor, And told a tale oft told Iwforo; If you mid on quite to the end Its moral you will comprehaiid. In me you see a boy, With 'eisure to employ Upon the game Of circulating news, And editorial views Oh the sane.

It used to seem like work Which I was glad to shirk This carrier job; But now to me it's play, And, as I learned today, Also to Bob. I'm very glad to find Bob in that state of mind. For it was he Who led that "bravest Iwnd Of Injun fighters in the land" Including me. That's what you called ub whe Wu straggled home again, Ambition gone; But. when we started out To put the fiends to rout You cheered us on. To mo and all the rest Said Bob, "On to the west Where fame awaits! Let future song and story Cover us with glory. Onward mates!" Toward the setting sun, Each with his little gua And powder horn, Grim faces five we turned; For Injun scalps we yearae4 Ti-at April morn. ur tooa wc tiadn't any, " Three dollars to a penny We were cashed: And thus we marched along With shout and martial song All unabashed. Two days of finest weather Held our band together On the trail; A frigid, drizzling rain Then changed our joy to pais. And we turned tail. Alas! what had we done Each had his little gun And nothing more; Wherever we applied For a chance to get inside They shut the door. "Show us tbe scalps," they said, "Of Injuns that are dead Because of you, And then we'll let you la And stuff you to the chln.H What could we dof Thus we were fed with sneers. And warmed with cruel jeers Or heartless smiles, As homeward worn and sore We crept from door Those weary milea. From that lmnd I've now resigned. Quite satisfied to find A road to fame Through circulating sews, Aud editorial views On the same. WHY HE DRESSED WELL. Tbe Sentimental Tale oT the Orrle DhiIo. He liked our company and we Were willing that the Dude should be A listener, but more than that Wo would not grant Said we: "That's fat. You and your kind were made to fill The world with Iwauty, and until Our tongues get very tired indeed Your silence will be all we need." It lmpiened though that soon a tale Turned out so stupid, flat and stale Pat vowed, "Not e'en th' Dude, iKnlad, CVd tell a sthory twice as bad." "Good! Let him try," we all replied, And thus the Carrier Dude complied: Over the htll a "sub" of mine, (Xo matter who) la father to one aud sie'a divine 1 mean to woo. You may laugh if you like you are always rude But your laugh later on will be more subdued, For there's triumph ahead for the "Carrier Dude." Annie's her name, and she hi a prise; But her father's got Besides her a dog of enormotM b4m That should be ahot! However, quite friendly he's growing to t (I wear good clothes and am clean, ye usee), AaM even her father Is takiag to sae.

It happened this way: I had stopped talk Te Annie there, When her father mmv quietly up the walk, Began te swear, And declared that no dude with aetklas to do, 4 Whose chief delight was a toothpick shoe, Could talk to hU daughter not if h knewl Tbe bundle of papers beneath my arm Then poke for me ' In a man m that quieted aiy alarsa. "Ah, now 1 see," Her father remarked. "I judged yea wrong; To that idle crowd you don't belong, But pay your way aa you go along." Now here is a lesson for some of yoat This millionaire, Who works all day as hard aa we da, Said to me there: "My boy, let them jeer if they please; your plan In the boht. aud gladly I'll help you wbea I can Good taste in dress always helps make tba man."

take the old man at his word soma day, And then you'll see The millionaire give his daughter away Away to me! What thea will you sayr Will you still ha rudef Or remind each other in tones subdued What a long headed chap was that "Carrier Dade?" THE CARRIERS' PARASITE. Aa Admealtery Tale Addressed t a Nuisance. A parasite vine on the oak tree feeds. Ami tbe oak has no redress; But the parasite boy who this tata read Will take the hint, I guess. If he don't We won't i Oirs hint a chases ' To miss The bliss Of a lively dance! This dance will be In the form of a jig, Atid the tune will make him jump; For a good thick stick on the baek of the prig Will raise full many a lump. With each swlsa He'll wish Be was miles away; Black and blue Through and through lie will go and stayl He loafs all the year, this parasite boy. And jeers at the carriers' toll; And the carriers' harvest hails with Joy, For he makes their reward his spoiL He'd as lief Be a thief As an honest maa; Make him work. Not shirk. Is now our plan. These Carriers' Tales, on New Year's day. Will meet with a ready sale; And the harvest is ours this time, we say,For tbe parasite's schemes will faiL . They will see ' I That he Is a rank outsider, And will put Their foot On the greedy aplderl Let the carriers' parasite read aa he rtaaa, ' And remember what he has read; We are mad this time and have trained oar guns Oa the spot where he hides his head , if he don't We won't Give him a chaaee . To miss The bliss Of a lively dancel What a strong, quick thrill of ym rmtliy mast laeh from lieart to beart when two baiting cripples taeet and DAM OB a crowded ainet whlla all ' boat w hPT straight limbed oaa

wno ireaei aie'g pathway like rows . A ,4