Jasper Weekly Courier, Volume 31, Number 51, Jasper, Dubois County, 6 September 1889 — Page 3

WEEKLY COURIER.

O. XM9AXJC, PnbliHhr. JASIKR. INDIANA. THE PWOGRCS1 OF MAN. 'Hard m w lt of iwr fathers, the na of the Mrir werw. toam-ltke r teals the earth for a niggardly dole of her frMjt, ;Wedd thu elefu f the hit), la 1 h hollows 4 l-ee-lrunUs eurled OrorHnK " the kIohi the eav- tarvla uh berry and root. Shelterless. waatHisteiwi, weak, a bagfjard and wutKloriHK brood goarred by I fee brutl of the sea, by the whirlwind scattered aad tossed, ; Hartal m drift of tkt mow, whelmed by the rivers 1 Hood. Flaytd by the spourxe of tha stars searree by the dagser of Irvt. ,A wretched and barbarous raee, unskilled, at the werey of all, la haste to eape from Its foa t tho hWlaK ptaeeet the deadi Heated of kunitraad lean, whose li(e was a iiitcous crawl Frow the dark of tk wh to the dark of the iirave through the shadow t dread. "But wh! vre are euaalaK ami strong, we have iuit ul wiittom oar own; We have Mlrtl Mil art. we have teU and raiuteat and rour overneau, nv laugh at the shriek of the wleds, we dance I (Hi the brute overthrown. With bis ki we have clothed us about, with bis Mesh we bare Oiled us and fed. 'Our f:itter. the rewr-itaz men of the eaves. wr the cavis-bear's try; Tkey ttfil him. we Meek ttlir.; the snows with hi blood, not ours, shall be dyed, Ve (llow hla traeks through the drift, hatha! we incur bim and slay. We least on the fat of his ribs, we eomtort our lelne with bis bide. O aaarvelous proven of man ! Oraceofua iHakarle craft; O strikers of Hre from the heart of the roek ia a fortunate hour! Who have lilted the sUarpened Hint to the wen detlnl nine-wood bait; 1b the day of your weakness and want who dreamt of tbe dy of your j.owrf -IL D. Traill. In lloston Transcript, BILL, THE LINEMAN. 'The Friend He Found at the Top of a Telegraph Pole. Bill was very well known in a cor tain quarter and not the ploasantost quarter, oither of, a certain great city. He patrolled the wires of the Eastern Union Telegraph Company for about- half a mile along Kiver street, a narrow, dirty thoroughfare lined with tall tenement-housed, whose very windows and stairways told o the poverty-stricken condition of moat of the families that dwett therein. Bill was a large, lanky fellow, with bit; hands and feet and a face that was as hard as a rock and as brown as berry, through years of exposure to sun. wind and rain. The clothes ha wore were not made to order, and by the time Bill got to wearing them at his work they were by no means new. Lpon his head in the summer he gen crally wore an enormous ten-cent straw hat, and in winter he pulled an old rabbit-skin cap down over his ears. Ills leet ail the year round he encased in monster-boots, to which ho strapped lib climbers. For the rest of his attire he usually wore a heavy blue flannel shirt and jean trousers fastened by a. broad belt that held his tool-, to which in cold woather he added a rough pilot coat. There really was nothing remarkable about Bill the Lineman's appearance, and yet a keen observer might have noticed a merry twinkle at times in his gray eye. and kindly lines playing about his large mouth but then, tho denizens of Bivor htreet woro not in tho habit of studying tho countenances of those who worked in their midst So, to them, Bill was a common overy-day workman, who minded his own business up in the cross-arms while they attended to theirs in the stores upon the street below. Indeed, all tho storc-keopqrs and their customers were so very bus' that not one of them remarked the fact that there was a certain pole up which Hill the Lineman stayed every day, except Sunday, for several minutessometimes remaining aloft as long as a. quarter of an hour although the averago condition of tho wiros, insulators and cross-arms at that pole was as good as the rest of them. The why and wherefore of Bill's strange predilection for polo number 774 was on this wiso: The long crossarms of tho pole in question were very close to a window on tho fourth story of a shabby tenement house. The frame of this window was quite crooked and tho squares of glass were exceedingly small and full of cracks, while two at least of them had such large holes that brown paper had been pasted over them to keep out the wind and the rain. For nearly two years tbe room which, that window dimly lighted had been unoccupied, and Bill had long since arrived at the conclusion that it would never again be rented. But one day towards the close of a dreary winter he noticed that the unbroken squares -of glass had been rubbed bright and clean, and, looking through tho win dow, he perceived that the floor of the room had been well scrubbed. "Ah!" thought 1U11, -new neighbors, oh!" Bill always considered the folks who occupied rooms near his polos as his own especial neighbors. "Well, he muttered, " 'pears they ain t fond of flirt, and I'm glad of that!'' Tho very next day there was another surprise in store for Bill tho Lineman. On the sill of the crooked window vdka a long, narrow green box, and, al though it held nothing but brown earth (it being too cold yet for plants), xmi juugeu mat the new tenant was partial to flowers. And lie was glad

of that too, for Bill liked flowers aim

Mif, neeause they reminded Him of hU

eltl home ia the Berkshire 111 Us. The lineman wiw now anxious to see who the new tenant might m, but his curiosity in that direction wan doomed to disappointment Never, ia all '.he many time tiiat liill afterwarda ollinbwd the tall telegraph pole, did he unoe aee through the window the owner of the hands that scrubbed the itoor and cleaned the glatm and ilaeed the Howor box upon the win-dow-alll, But before very long he did see a. face at the window such a wee, wan little face it was, too so pule and yet so pleasing the face of a little girl. perhatMi seven or eight years old. lllll saw that she was a cripple, lying upon an adjustable invalid s chair, and, a the lineman turned his head from the white fact) with lu large, sad eyes, something fell from his brown and roughened cheek to the blue walk below, where it made a wet spot about as big as a twenty-tlve-eent piece. For the Wight of the crippled child awakened memorioti in the heart and mind of Hill the Lineman that were more outer man swoei, ami always very and. Teii voara before, when Hill wai a strapping young fellow in extern Massachusetts, he had married one of the prettiest girls in tho village.' Iiill was proud of his girl wifo and loved her vory dearly. Ho was a happy fellow indeed when thero came to his homo a baby girl and his love for the tiny thing was second only to his affeetion for tho baby's mother. .Soon after the little one came Hill moved to the cltv. where ho had obtained employment, and then all his bad luck came to him. liis wife, who nau been so neui a houso-wHo, gradually changed into a slatternly gadabout Site road cheap story papers and went to tho matinees at tho, third-rato theaters, while her homo and her child, as well us poor Hill, were altogether noglectod; Hill was beside himself with grief, and had it not been for tho baby, which he watched, tended and played with all through his leisure hours, possibly he might have done something rockloss. One day while Bill w'as at work the careless wife and mother, engrossed in a dime novel, dropped tho b;i upfront her lap, and the little one was hopelessly crippled by the fall. When Hill came home and learned tho truth he cried like a child with grief. Ho fretted all the night, and in the morning remained away from his work that ho might hold tho baby, laid upon a pillow, in his arms. Often the tears would roll down his cheeks, but ho never once scolded or reproached his wife. At last, overcome with remorso and unable to endure the sight of her husband's grief and her child's pain, the girl (she was but twenty) put on her hat and went out, to return no more to her home. For six years tho poor fellow tender ly cared for his baby, but when tho little girl was seven years old she died, and Bill was left without any comfort at all. Tho lineman hud been alone for three years when ho behold the face of the little child at the crooked window a face that opened old scars, but which none tho less swelled Hill's tondor heart with kindly sentiments toward the little cripple. Before he went down he nodded cheerily to tho girl, and it sent a thrill of pleasure through the big fellow whon the win face answered his greeting by a faint smile. For many days Bill nodded from the cross-arms to his little neighbor, and he felt as though they were really getting quite well acquainted. Soon the spring time came, and ono warm, sunny day the lower sash of the crooked window was thrown up, whilo the child leaned forward as If to inhale and enjoy to the full tho sweet balmy air of the May morning. Then the acquaintance of Hill and the small, pale-faced cripple was begun in earnost That's good," said the lineman. after nodding as usual. "You want some of this fresh air to bring back tho roses to those lily-white cheeks. How does my little neighbor feel today?" At first the child only smiled, as shy children will, in response to her strango friend's remarks and inquiries, but before vory long this bashfulnoss woro away and then tho girl chat ted lreoly to the big man on the lofty. polo. Down in the street the people and the teams hurried to and fro, but forty feet above them Bill the Lineman and the tiny child conversed to gether with as much privacy as though they had been in tho quiet and secluded parlor of a country house. From tho child Bill learned that her name was Millie, and that her aunt hor good aunt, she always called hor was obligod to loavo her alono all through tho day because she worked In a big factor), where thoy made men's neck -ties and such things. The child seemed to know nothing about father or mother; as long as she could remember she had been with her "good aunt," who was with hor every evening and all through the long Sundays. Bill, as may be imagined, possessed some line feelings, though ho was but a lineman. Nothing could havo inducod him to intrude on th' privacy of this good woman, who was evidently poor, yot who, In her poverty, cared so well for the child that was, apparently, not her own. So Bill always timed his ascent of pole No. 774 In the forenoon, about ten or eleven o'clock, whon It was tolerably certain that the woman would be at the fac

tory, aad on Sunday he never weat up

at all exeept for a moment quite early ia the day, The child from time to time auked Hill a hundred question about his work and the telegraph, and she was iwrtloularly interested in the music of the wires, which murmured so sweet ly all the time, like an loolian harp. And Hill, who was a splendid storyteller having amused his own little girl in days gone by with his original tales told her that the good fairies made the music on tho wire. He ex plained, too, how messages 'are sent by telegraph and, for her amuse ment, would friueutly place his ear to an insulator and relate a pretty htory, which he mado believe was passing over the wiros. Yes, indeed, they were great friends, were Hill the Lineman and little Millie, and after they had been acqiiiiinted a few months it is hard to say which would havo missed the etlior moit Bill was always taking the child something. Ono day when he swung himself up the pole his big bolt would be bulged out with a flower pot containing a choice and fragrant plant. At another time his hip pocket would be tilled with a pretty box of chocolate drops or ho would carry, by tho handle placed between his teeth, a basket of ripe peaches. .Sometimes it, would bo a picture book, but always on Saturday, if on no other day. Bill would take his little neighbor something. Hut it grieved Bill sorely when ho noticed that tho summer sunshine and the fresh air passing through the open window failed to bring tho roses to tho pale cheeks of the crippled child, and he almost wished he might somehow got acquainted with the "good aunt" and propose In some way to sond .Millie to tho seashore at his own expenso. He spent many hours each day in turning over this idea in his mind. but Hill was very roservod and disliked to force his acquaintance upon strangers. Ono Saturday in September Bill, as usual, climbed pole No. 774, taking with him a basket of luscious pears. He hnd to stand at the extreme end of the longost cross-arm to be able to set the basket in the window, and as he did this Millie, who Has not feeling so well as usual, said to him "Do you think you could roach over and kiss me? You're so good and kind I should like to thank you, sir, and all I can give you is a kiss." Bill wanted to say somothl ng in re nlv. but ho couldn't do it he felt too "choky." He managed to lean over, howover his feet on the cross-arm and his hands upon tho window-UU, whilo his lank body spanned tho space between. He kissed the soft white cheek of tho delicate child, while she whisporod In his oars I s'poso you never hoar on the wiros mo8si''03 from tho angels for mo?" she astxed. childlike, but, oh, so wistfully. How the words did cut into Bill' heart, for he had grown strangely attached to his little friend. Ho feared that all too soon tho angel of death would carry a message to the helpless little cripple but he hoped not just yot He gulped down tho lump that rose in his throat and answered as pleasantly as possible. Well, my dear, they hain't sent ao message to you, not direct but often I hear 'em, thoso blessed angels what watch over all little children, and thoy says to me: 'Bill, you must try and make it pleasant for that there Httlo Millie. She has a tough time of it a-lyin' there so quiet and patient day after day; so you must go up that pole o' your'n and soe hor every day and choer her up a bit And these blessed angols tells mo, 'you'll find you're a happy man, Bill, if bo be you can win the love of that there little gal.' " "Ah, well," said the child, as Bill finished, "I'm glad the angels think about mo, and if I could I would tell them that you're vory good to rao, sir. I do lovo you a groat deal. Will you kiss me again before you go?" So once moroBill the Lineman kissed tho crippled girl and then descended to the sidewalk. Tho next day, it being Sunday, Bill did not see Millie, but on Monday morning, as usual, he climbed pole number 774. It was a bright sunshiny day in early autumn, but the tenement house was on the east side of tho atreet, so that curtains, where they had such luxuries, were never drawa in the forenoon. Up went Bill, eager to see the child, and he noticed before he was half-way up that tho window was up to its usual height but there was no pain little face to greet him. Porhaps Millie's "good aunt" was at homo? Well, Bill thought he would take just a hasty glance to satisfy himself, and then hurry down. He listened for a moment, but he heard no sound of footsteps or of voices in the quiet room. So he peered through the open window and thero, only a few feet back, he saw a small, white coffin. He was unable to see the face in the casket, but Hill the Lineman, knew only too well that a message from the angels had come to Millie slnco he klssod her on Saturday morning. The truth flashed upon tho poor fellow painfully onough and the shock was ao severe that it was only force of habit that enablod him to retain his foothold on the cross-arm. He was dazed for several minutes and could not tatyhls dimmed eyes from the little white coffin all alone In tho quiot room. He trembled with mental and physical agitation and was woak as a woman when he commenced his descent of the tall polo. It was with much difficulty that he struck the climbers Into the hard wood, to get a foothold, and his hands r-

ud to give him the support of their

usual Mria grip. Half way down hU eeble strengt.i completely failed hli, and he fell more than twenty feet to the btoaa sidewalk. Insensible, and with a broken leg poor Hill lay there, while a knot of idlers and nasers-by gathered about him. "Hill the Lineman taken a tumble at last!" exclaimed the grooerymaa from the corner, while Hill's friend, the policeman, telephoned fer the hos pltal ambulance. Iiill the Lineman did not die. but he was confined in the hospital for many weeks. The pain of his bruises and lis fractured limb did not hurt him nearly as much as did his grief when le thought of the little child at the tenement house window, and of the small white coffin which he had seen. Ie could not forgot Millie and the kiss with which she had thanked him. One day, when he was getting along retty well. Bill's nurse said to him: "There's a young woman would Ilka to suo you. She says she s 'Millie s aunt' and that you will know her by that" Millie's good aunt," murmured Bill to himself. "Yes," ho added aloud, "I should like to see her. nurse," When, a moment lator, "Millie's aunt," stood beside the sick man s bedsido, Bill could scarcely believe his eyes, indeed, he was so doubtful ol his own vision that he was afraid to speak his thoughts. But the woman, who was still vounsr and ouito goodlooking throw her arms about his neck ' and sobbed as sho kissed his rough, unshaven face again and again. Oh, Bill," sho said, "wilt you for give me, can you? I am Millie's uunt I took the child, a little crippled waif, to caro for, in memory of our own baby that I oh, Bill, forgive me for that! I wanted to come back to you and the baby many times, only I was ashamed. But 1 have lived an honost lifo, Bill, and I am truly sorry for all the badnoss and wickedness of years ago. And now, dear Bill, for out baby's sake for little Millie's sake, too will you lot mo show you how good a wife I can make you?" And BUI the Lineman, whose tears were by this time mingling with thoso of his wife, threw his big arm around her and forgave hor tho easier, J think that she was Millie's "good aunt" Well, Bill the Lineman, is no more. But in a neat telegraph cabin on a railroad in tho Berkshire Hills there is a big-bearded operator whom his wife calls Bill, and whenever you soe Bill, the operator, you may bo sure that not vory far away is his two year-old daughter Millie.- William H. S. Atkinson.in Philadelphia Times. CONSTRUCTION OF DAMS. An Art quit Within the Orasp or Ever; Intelligent Kagineer. Most of the dams constructed for four thousand years have been in all essential particulars.liko that at Conomaugh. Where, than, was the trouble? In tho construction of the dam there was a total neglect to consider tho first and fundamental problem the duty the dam was required to perform. The works woro not properly related to tho natural conditions, and so a lako was made at Conemaugh which was for a long time a menace to the peoplo below, and at last swept them to destruction. When the construction of such a dam is proposed, the first thing to be done is to determine the amount of water to be controlled and the rate at which it will be delivered to the reservoir under maximum conditions of rain-fall or snow-molting. The proper method of procoedure is to determine, first, the area of the drainage basin supplying tho resorvoir; second, tho declivities of tho supplying basin. Tho very first thing, then, is a topographic survey. The second need is a hydrographic survey. Tho precipitation in rain and snow over the basin must be determined as an average from yoar to year, ana also the max imum precipitation at tho timos of groat flood. This must be supplemented by the gauging oi streams to determine thoir average volumes and maximum volumos. All of these factors are necessary and preliminary to the construction of a safe and efficient reservoir system by making mountain lakes. Before a reservoir data is constructed, it is of prime importance to determine what will be required of it With these facts ascertained, the engineer can easily plan works adequate to control the forces Involved; he can readily determine how much water he can store and what waste-way will be necessary to discharge the surplus. The art of damconstruction is quite within the grasp of every intelligent engineer. In the case of solid masonry dams, the wasteway is over the whole surface of the dam, as at the Great Falls of the Potomac, whore a dam has been constructed to divert the water Into reservoirs that supply Washington. But masonry dams are few; earth dams and those related to them, are many, and with these special waste-ways must be provided, adequate to meet all possible emergencies. Tho rules for their construction are well known, and have been known for tons of centuries. In American engineering that which has boon most neglected Is a precise determination of the duty of tho dam tho conditions which ll mtmt fulfill or else be destroyed. Major L W. Powell, in North American lie. view. m m Evergreens of all kinds aro in' vlgorated by an application of ashes.

CHOOL AND CHUROH.

Southeastern Maine has rather venerable aeademies. That at South Berwick was incorporated la 1791, and thoe at Fryehurg aad East Machlas the year following. A oo noise prayer said te hare been offered by an earnest New Ea gland deacon was as follows: "Lord, give us grace to know Thy will and grit to do It" Brooklyn National Monitor. Miss Kate Drexel, the wealthy young lady of Philadelphia, who recently entered a convent of the Sisters f Mercy at Pittsburg, has decided to build a college for the exclusive use f colored people. Mr. A. II. Baynes. (the honored secretary of the Baptist Missionary Society of England, recently gave a striking proof of his unselfish devotion to the cause of foreign mission by declining the offer of an appointment with a salary five times that which he Is in receipt of from the society. A minister was told of a Mr. K., who lived in a town where he had been pastor a few years before: "Mr. K. thinks the world of you, and that there is no one whom he over hoard whose preaching he liked so well." And he answered: "I wish ho had said so while 1 was pastor. It woud have made my work easlor and my lifo brighter." The Los Angeles public schools are organized on a liberal basis and rank among tho best in the country. The superintendent, Prof. W. M. Freisner, receives a salary of $3,000 per annum, and his deputy. Prof. A. E. Baker. $1,500. The principals, twentyone In number, receive from f to $135 per month. There is a special nrincinal of drawine at $135, and one of writing at $125 per month. Teachers hold their positions at the pleasure of the Board, and are on pro bation until thoir work is approveo. when thoy are permanently assigned. Tho last Harvard College bulletin shows that our American colleges have souuted some long-lived men among their graduates. Nathan Mlrdseye,, a rrailuata of Yale, lived to be more than one hundred and three years old; Kov. John Sawyer, of Dartmouth, was also over one hundred and three when he died; ho received from his college the degree of D. D. at tho age of one hundred and two; Judge Timothy Farrar, of Harvard, lived to be over Dno hundred and one, and received the Inrrron n f LL. D. on tho completion of his hundredth year. M. Chovreul. the French chemist who recently died In his ono hundred and third yoar, had lsn rncuivod a doeroe from Harvard College. The late Rev. Dr. Nathaniel Bur ton. of Hartford, was. says a Connect! cut paper, a very unconventional man. Some voars ago he heard a great many nnmiilaints about the lontrth of his prayers. To settle the matter he ora nlnved a. stenographer on Sunday to take down his prayer. On reading it over he was overwhelmed with astonishment at its longth. and determined to shorten it thereafter. Speaking of the matter afterward he said: "It seemed a sacrilege to me when people began to animadvert on the length of my prayers, but they kept on all the same (never harshly, though, in a single instance) and by and by I went over to their side, and have had a comfortable amount of peace ever since." What Steam Has Dene. A very Interesting calculation has rocently been made by the Statistical Bureau in Berlin. Four-fifths of the power machines at prosent in activity in the world havo been erected during the past twenty-five years. The country which possesses the hlghost amount of horse power Is the United Statos. with 7,500,000 horse power; then follow England, with 7,000,000; Germany, with 4,600,000; France, with 3,000,000. and Austro-Hungary, with 1,500,0000. These figures do not include locomotives, of which there are 105,000 at work, with a total horse power or 3,000,000. Thus tho total horse power in tho world Is 46,000.000. A steam "horse power" Is equivalent to three actual horses' strength, and each living horse represents the strength of seven men. Thus the total horse power of the entire world represents the work of 1,000.000,000 men, or more than twice the total working population of the earth. Steam has thus tripled the entire human work powor of the earth. London Tablet. A Semi-Barbarous Fashion. Tho fashion of writing up funerals as though they were social events is one to be sincerely doplored, not to say frowned upon, by the community. Public characters have obsequies thrust upon them, but pray let the curtain fall on private individuals and their sorrowing friends. The late Mrs. Hayes may, perhaps, come under the category of public characters she certainly would had she died during hir husband's term of office and the recent description of her burial robes, the flowers sho wore and the expression of her countenance are probably due to the position she once occupied in the White House. Nevertheless it jars on the sensibilities of every one who has lost near and dear friends to find the same reportorlal jargon that would be employed in describing some festive occasion applied to the sacred dead. If persons are to be flattered and complimented In their fashionable shrouds and caskets, It will behoove us to live on awhile longer until the custom blows ovef. Boston Herald.

PERSONAL AND LITERARY.

- Louisa M. Aleett wjote the eal hymn of her life. "My Kingdom," al thirteen years of age. -It has keen found that tea thou sand books have heea written fey women in the United States. The brightest of English maga zines have but small circulations com pared with those of America. Farjeon, the popular English nov elist rattles off his stories on the type writer just as though he were playing the accompaniment to a comic song. Joaquin Miller is described as "a slender, sparely-built man well along in years, with long, yellowish white hair that lays oa his shoulders ia curls." -William E. Gladstone has only three fingers oa his left hand. Fortyseven years ago his Index finger was shot off by a premature explosion while loading his gun ia the hunting field. An old chum of Explorer Staney's. now city comptroller of Omaha. says that when they were both there twenty years ago Stanley was tne roadlest and most accomplished liar he ever knew. Stanley was xue corre spondent of several Eastern papers. The recent death of the blind deal mute Laura Brldgraan, wno was indebted to Dr. Howe for hor education a task which called for extraordinary patience and perseverance brings to mind the fact that the blind owe to Dr. Howe the possession of a Bible printed in relief oa heavy paper. The work was done in Boston at the expense of the American Bible Society and consists of six volumes. American Bookmaker. Francis S. Saltus, who recently died, Is coming into a great deal of post-mortem mention. It turns out now that he was a man of many extraordinary accomplishments; but owing to his erratic manner of life his more commonplace brother easily distanced him in the race for fame. Francis Saltus seems to have been a man of almost universal polish as far as literary work was concerned, and his death had the effect of bringing many clever bits of verse and odd specimens ef prose writing to the surface. The most extravagant Instance 'of literary relic worship on record is said to be that of an Englishman of letters, who wears constantly around his neck a portion of Shelley's charred skull. It Is inclosed in a gold casket The bones of Victor Hugo are being turned into money, for among the relics exhibited to sightseers at his former home is a huge tooth, with this inscription below: "Tooth drawn from Victor Hugo by the dentist on Wednesday, August 11, 1871. at Vlanden. in the gardens of the heuse of Mrao. Koch, at three o'clock in the after noon. HUMOROUS. The sugar trust will never bust Hat ever firmly stand; It's welt prepared and can't be scared. For tt possesses sand. Omaha World. "What is the matter, my man? Why do you look so sad?" "I have lost my wife.' "No wonder you look saa. "Besides that I have also married another." Fllegende Blatter. Easterner "Is Nebraska a very healthy State?" Western man "Very healthy? Well, sir, there's an old man ia Omaha named William baakesneare, and hang me if I don't believe he's the original." N. Y. Weekly. "Pat Is this truo that I hear?" 'An' what's that Yer Honor?" "That you are going to marry again." That's so. Yer Honor." "But your first wife has only been dead a week." "Sure she s as dead now as she iver will be, Yer Honor." Pick-me-up. Mrs. De Merrltt "I suppose. Major, that since the war the oldtime colored aunty Is rapidly becoming a thing of the past?" Major George A Kernell "Bight you are madam, right you are. The boys consider themselves lucky now to be able to put up white chips." Terre Haute Express. -"Here, John, I am going into the country on ray vacation to-morrow.' "Yes, sir." "Pack up ray oilskin suit my rubber boots, my tarpaulin hat and half a dozen umbrellas." "Yes, Bir. Any thing else?" "That's all, I believe. Held on. though! Yen might ( put in a salt fish or two. I'm bound to keep dry if it's a possible thing." Boston Transcript Scribbles "Where's the foreman ef the composing-room?" Editor "Oh, he's gone off on a vacation.' "For his health?" "Yes. Ia our Weekly Theatrical Gossip the copy I gave him to set up read: 'Miss De Rouge, the opera queen, has some very noticeable fads,' and he got it -pads so he asked for a vacation. Tice. "Disapp'lnted In Oklahoma?" Nary dlsapp'lnt" "But what are you coming back for with your family and stuff?" "Caln't git no claim?" "Then how does It happen you are not disappointed?" "Wat, Betsy, she's alius preached 't they wa'a't no other fool sech a blamed fool's I be; but sence I tuk her down to Oklahoma she hain't hed nuth'n to say." Puck. Expected too much. Merchant "You think your son would make us a satisfactory errand boy, do you?" Mrs. Morlarlty "Whatever 'odo, sor, e do It very quick." Merchant (turn'tgto boy) "James, take this note to Captain Centerfield at the ball ground and be back In twenty minutes." Mrs. Morlarlty "Nlver raolnd, Jlramy. Come ahn home. It's not fa bye they're wastia', It's a angel. Life,

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