Jasper Weekly Courier, Volume 31, Number 22, Jasper, Dubois County, 15 February 1889 — Page 3

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WEEKLY COUKIElt,

C. DOJi.'SlC, INibliwher. JASl'KK. INDIANA. THE FATAL SONNET He wrote a Mmnet, short ami swt. About hi lady1 fairy rt. Ami placed it wheia 'twould cntch fcr eye When she should enter, by and by, Aad he huiiK Mill and h sang guy, .As am Uhi hou be went away; Kwr h wan glad of what he'd oa, , And thus the tittle oiiet run: "I bar my My' footstep full. Upon taw stair una in Ut hall. As Ifcrntly a wnm u elves advaim Upon thecrtfrn Hi merry daae; It u my V,e, my hm, my love, DwJIh tntm her bower attovtt." A villain came upon the ne. lrk-browcd was he. a stormy nlt(ht, Ami raven were his lock, and ifrn Hit eyes shone out w tw jealous tight; He spied the sonnet, and between Hack open line he swiftly wrote. With pencil dipped In gull aad spiels. What chanpel the tHr o( th nute; Then no j.ele6ly he went away, Asnthtloe M from trtgM-iryl day. Tboi raifce the maiden, richly drwftsed Jh (.ilk anil roUI, an I to iter Kat Her two white baud were l'ahtly pressed; And when on t able's spacious round Sue saw the sonnet frown her lover. Her fod, tius heart jrsve sueh h botiad It win her blU'.h bnxht red all over; At-.! her joy took w.kks and tted, K-r ihH Js what the maiden read: " I bear my lady's footsteps uil A loud as any driKo,N btUrn the, stair and in the fc ill, l)rU(naway my dream of bktu: A lightly whun elves a I vane Sho thinks she st- s, alack! alack 1 Upon the creen In merry dance, What elha tratnps with ,uch a whack? Jt is my love, mv love, ity tore. TIm itoom', tb golden eg shall liy, T)cer.i)!r! (row her bower above. To r.tw for me He fatal day." 'Twas deadlier than Kitjrjifs asp. And, wjth a h ver, shriek and She tore tlie sonnet thrice q twain, And loved a poet ne'er a;aln, J. 1. Sjolaader, in Yanke Illade, STOttY OF A MUTINY. Bow It Wm Put Down by th C&ptaiu'a Fair Daughter. For two years I hml been mato of the tohooner Jegio, Captain Martin, plyinff regulal'ly between Sidney, Xow Smith Wales, and Uohrttown, Van Diemnn's Uad. We had a trim craft, easily handled, and our crew never exceeded six men. Tltere was no sccowl mate, and the captain stood his own watch. A yenr before I enjfHRed with her .-die hml ieen captured by convicts from the penal settlement, and when recovered, after two or three dayHhe hwl been suppticd with au ar.-enai. The trip which jrave rise to the incidents I am about to relate, brought the captain's (laughter on board for the Urt time, she having been away to school for a couple of years. The schooner was named after "her, and if a vessel could feol pro ml of any thing then the Jessie would have been puffed up over the j?ood looks of the jrirl whoo name she bore. MKs ! Martin was a typical Englhiu yirl, anl ! just as handsome the lt Of them. I Jslie was then nineteen yeara old, in the best of health and spirits, and ,it was a srood ns medicine for a s.iqk jierson to hear her s-in and laugh. As our voyages were s.hort and safe we bad Ihnmi able to keep the fame crew for a lonjr time, but on this trip we we e all broken up. Two of the old men had been taken ill while we were loading, a third had mysteriously absented himself, and on the day we were to sail the cook walked ashore in huff. There was no trouble, however, in filling the four vacancies. Indeed they were applied for as soon ad vacated. The cook was another colored man with rood recommendation, while tho three sailors were Knjjli!'h--iKiakiHy and of English uativity. When a crew is sent from a fihijvping oflice. the matter mnst not find fault with their penional appearance. If they are what they claim to be that must satisfy him. no matter if tho whole lot are bow-legged, cross-eyed, bald-headed and hump-backed. It is the ftame whea tho mate engage men at the wharf. If they satisfy htm that they are sailors, he does not find fault with their looks. The three silor men I engaged for the trip were hard -looking fellows, anil I would not have trusted thorn not to rob me, but I took them just the same. At sea they would have their stationsand their orders, and tho discipline of a vessel discourages all exhibitions of impudence toward officers. Our crew waa now composed of six sailors, captain, mate and cook, and tho girl Jej brought the number on board up to ten. It Is a run of over five hundred miles Almost due south from Sydney to llolmrtstown. but until passing Capo .iiuwe we nau uie coast in view, and knew where sholtor could be had in case of a storm. Our crew went cheerfully to work, the weather favored un, and for three days every thing went as smoothly as you please. I had two of the old men and one of the now in my watch, and on tho fourth night, a we just held eteOragc-way during my -watch, the man at the wheel, whose name was feedlmm, and who had been "with us several voyages, fussed around for a tluMi, and Anally smids "Jlr. Lorlag, I'd like te spk with jtm aboMt a matter." " Very well; what Is It?" " I don't like them new men, sir." " For what reaaon?" "They've got their heads togcthor too often, sir, Hnd they've talked to XIhII and Tom. mv old tttatM. until aey ve quite upset them. o . rtinmi. wnat?" i . , Well, sir, about pirates and islaaJs

treasure and such htulf. I didn't

take to 'em, and they didn't take to we. and o they don't tru me, but 1 eun't help buK think there's something wronif in the wind." I Wasn't stHl-Lliwlnnt iivhh wnrrlitil. Sailors are always talking such nonMnsu among themselves, and aboard of every eraft there is always a talebearer who wants to curry favors. Noedham was distant and jioculiar, hh I had heard the men say. and that waa why the trio had not taken to him. I thought Uie matter over for some time, and then thanked the man for hi information and asked him to keep his oyos open. Wo had a light breeze all night, and the next day was very mild. W e got a stiff breeze from noon to mid night, and on the morning of the slwth day werebelow tho cape. Then the wind died out Hat and dead, and all day long we hadn't Millleiont to ruffle -a, feather. I had been watching tho now men closely Hlnco Needhum stated his suspicions, but not a thing could I dis cover to confirm his statements. They were cheerful, prompt and respectful. and I quite dismissed any thought of conspiracy. If Needhum hud heard or seen any thing further ho hud not re ported it, although invited to do so. The captain's trick that night vn from eight to twelve o'clock. At nine o'clock I was asleep In my berth, tho captain was lounging and smoking, and Jess was in the cabin nfter some article of clothing. There was no wind yet. while tho night was soft mid fctarlight. There was a man tit the wheel, but this was mere form' sake, he having nothing to do. All of a sudden, its tho enptuln pneed the quarter, some one in the fo'castie shouted "Murder!" There was a scramble and a rush, followed liy a splash, and a choking voice from the water gasped out: " It's mutiny, captain, look out!" It was tho voice of Xcedhnm, who hnd boon stabbed and Hung overboard. Next moment the captain saw every other man before tho mast advancing aft armed with capstan burs and belaying pins. The negro cook was with them, and tho old man was not long in realizing ihut something worse thstn mutiny was on. Instond of ordering, or arguing, or waiting for explana tions, lie leaped down Into the cabin and bolted tho heavy doors behind him. Iliad heard the row, and was now dressed, and so it came 10 pass that tho captain, Jess and myself were together aft, and all tnado prisoners at once. "It's mutiny, Mr, Lorlng!" shouted tho captain as I entered llie main cabin. "Arm yourself and we'll teaoh the rascals a lesson not to be forgotten!" He had scarcely ceased speaking when a bullet struck him in the right shoulder, and a shot fired at me grimed my head. One of tho mutineers hud tired through tho open sky-light. Tho captain staggered to the sofa, and In a jilTy I had the lights out. Then T pulled the heavy sash down and secured it, and wo wore safe for the moment. Jt needed no explanation to satisfy me of what hml hnpiwned. The crew had aeiaed the schooner and Xecdhatn had been murdered because ho would not join the conspiracy. I had a revolver, and I started for the deck, but the captain stopped me. "Come back, Mr. Lorlng. You have no show! They would kill vou before you get on deck!" "liut we must get tho schooner back!" I stud. "Certainly; but. wo can t do it by throwing our liven away. Wo nro safe for the present IJolp mo oil with my coat ;tnd attend to this wound. Jess, you take my revolver and stand in the companion way to guard the doors." I got at the wound as soon and as carefully as I could, and wa rejoiced to ttiid that tho bullet had struck the bone and glaoeed off. Indeed, it fell out of tho flesh as I washed away the blood. It was thus a painful but not a dangerous wound. I soon had it attended to, and the captain thought ho would not bo provented from handling a revolver. I hnd just got him fixed up when some one rapped at the doors, and h volco exclaimed: "IJolow, there! I want a word with you ' "What is it?" demanded the captain. "Tho schooner is ours, as you, of course, know. Wo don't want your lives. You can have a bont and start off a soon as you please." "Hut wo don't propose to go!" "Don't get cantankerous, old man. We've got tho schooner, and wo know enough to keep lL We don't want you here. If yo accept our offor, all right If you want to fight it out, thou look out for yourselves!" "That's what wo propose to do," replied the captain, and then all w.ts quiet I crept to tho head of tho companion stairs and heard tho mutineers conversing in low tones, anil while I sought tt catch what they satd. a man ran aft to tho wheel nnd the others began to mako sail. Tho calm was bfokon. I know tho course they would muko witho it seeking a sight of tho cabin compass. They would head to tho west, probably for King Island, and while between tho south coast of Australia and the north const of Van Dleman's Land, a stretch of over two hundred mllos, there would be no fear of meeting with any craft larger than a coaster, owing to the numerous shoals and shallows. The breeze came up lively, and the schooner went dancinjf away as lively as If all had been at peace. "They won't try to get nt Us for ti time, and perhaps not until morning," said tho captain, "and wo must make ready." We first made a barricade at this door of the main cabin, using the sofa.

table and chairs. Then we got ent

and loaded Jive nuiskets, placed three" outliuwesiiaHdy, and. In addition, each had a revolver, We worked in the dark, hut we knew where every thing waa to be found. You might huve looked for the girl to break down, but there was never a sign of it. Indeed, she expressed a hope that the men would not give in too sopn, and seemed to desire an attack. When we had done all wo could, wu sat down and waited for the night to jwtss away, Tho schooner reeled off the miles at a lively pace for the next four hours, and morning came without our having been dlsturlied. Then sail was abortenod, the craft laid to, and, as soon as the men had had a bito to cat, the leader summoned us with: " IJolow, there!" " Well?" answered the captain. "Wo will give you another chanco to leave. Vou can hive a boat, oars, sail, water and grub, and no one shall hinder your going." "Suppose we refuse to go?" "Then your blood bo upon your own head! ltuther than surrender the schooner wo'U burn her and you with her! I'll give you half an hour to thlnl- it over." We didn't want two minutes. Wo wore determined not only not to leave the fehooHOr. hut to recapture her. We expected to bo attacked first by the skylight, but this was a small affair, and did not command but a portion of tho cabin. And, ns wo afterward ascertained, tho only firearm among the mutineers was a double-barreled pistol, which had already been discharged, and could not bo reloaded for want of ammunition. They would also batter in the doors of tho companion, but wo hoped to hold them at tho barricade. -They could not como at us by way of tho hold, for that was full. Wo got a bite to cat from 4he pantry, had a glass of wine, and by that time were hailed for our answer. Tho onptain replied that wo would not go, and defied thorn to do their worst. Wo heard them moving softly about, and at her own request Jess was allowed to pull away a portion of tho barricade and creep up tho stairs to J lis'-en, ivhllo tho captain and I stood with our guns ready to repulse anv at tack by the skylight. Joan was return ing to roport wiien a battering ram drove in tho doors hardly an arm's length away, and the men who had wielded the spar raised a yell at sight of lit r. Not onO person in ton thousand, man or woman, would have done as she did. Instead of springing over the barricade, she leveled her revolver and shot ono of the men, the lender ol tho mutiny, through tho head as he itood above her. A3 ho threw up his arms and felt she shouted to us to come up, rushed up the stairs, and we heard her fire twice raoro before wo got over the barricade. When wo got on deck no one but JOss was to be seen erect. Two dead men and ono wounded unto death were lying on tho deck, and tho other three had lied to the fo'easlle. Two minutes later they were begging for their lives, and they crawled like curs us they euma tip to be loutid. Jess had killed two of the new men and mortally wounded the negro cook, nnd the mutiny had been put down and tho craft retaken before you could count a hundred. Her movements bad been so swift and her aim was so fortunate that every thing had to go before her. It would have mado your hair stand up to listen to the confessions of those rascals. The seizure of tho schooner had long been contemplated, and a part of tho plan was to get lipid of tho girl. Had wo accepted tho offer of the boat we would have been killed as soon as wo reached tho deck, Tlio leader was an ox-convict named Iko tho Reese, and ho proposed to turn I craft into a regular pirate, strengthening his crow from such small craft a he might overhaul. Tho negro died within nn hour, and we hovo the three bodlos overboard with out ceremony. During tlie forenoon wo worked the schooner to the east, and about noon got a couple of hands from an English merchantman and put into .Melbourne to report and de liver up out prisoners. One was hanged for tho crime, but one died before the trial and tho other escaped nnd was shot dead by the officers In pursuit X, V. Sun. A Slight Miscalculation. "John." said a wife who was supposed to bo on her death-bed. "in easo of my death I think a man of your temperament and domestic nature, aside from tho good of tho chlldron, ought to marry again." Do you think so, my dear?" M I certainly do, after a reasonable length of time." Well, now, do you know, my doar, that relieves my mind of a great burden. Tho Httlo widow Jenkins has acted rather demiiro toward mo over slnco you wore taken sick. Sho is not tho woman that you nro, of course, a strong-minded. Intelligent woman of character, but sho is plump and pretty, and I am sure she would make me a very desirable wife." The next day Mrs. John was able to sit up, tho following day "sho went down-stairs, and on tlto third day sho was planning for a now dress. -N. V. Sun. A phrenological expert says that Mr. Gladstone's head Is over twentyfour inches in circumference, and that tho frontal lobe is of almost preternatural length. " Another He untied," said a clerk ns he nailed a "Selling Out at Cost " sltru ou the door. Lif

SENATORIAL HYPOCRISY.

AHterloMH l.eicllHt.'r h tkn T! mt OrjchhIzkiJ MHHHty. The history of human legislation aloes not offer a jatrallel to the hypocrisy and rapacity of the United State Senate as revealed in the proceedings of Its night session on the 2lt of January, lHHti. In committee of the whole these shameless champions of tho tariff combines have for weeks debated House bill ",051, "to reduce taxation and simplify the laws in relation to the collection of the revenue." What was this "bill to reduce taxation." as placed before tho chamber by Allison, Morrill, Sherman. Jones, of Nevada, Vldrich and Hiseoek, all Republican hypocrites, aided by two or three doughface Democrats? It was a measure to increase the taxes in all but four of tho fourteen schedules, and to grant a bounty-tax in, place of the double duty in one of the remaining four schedules. Advancing to their work, the Senators deferred action on the woolen schedule until the night before the vote. The Presidential canvass gave America a good idea of tho wool robbery, Tho recipients of the duty quarreled among themselves, the millowners at last abandoning the flockmasters. In tho circumstances, tho less debate on wool the better. This great subject, tlion, comes up for an evening session the only one in tho whole moot. Mr. Vot offered tho amendment of the National Association of Wool Manufacturers, asking a reduction in the wool schedule of the bill to 10 cents from 11. To this Mr. Allison retorted with a suggestion making tho tax 12 rather than 11 cents. Tho present infamous war rate Ik 10 cents, being -13 per cent of value. It is needless to say Mr. Allison's idea was seized with favor, and the entire schedule was loaded with taxes L'O per cent, higher than the present rates. Heady-made clothing was fixed nt the figure ut 4& cents a" pound and -15 percent, ad valorem, and all tho other wool robberies nro to bo in proportion. Tho roador may wish a comparison. Lot him understand, therefore, that when Salmon 1'. Chaso and Lot Morrill in time of war surpassed, as they feared, tho bonHs of a free people's generosity. Chase and Morrill mado these taxes on a dollar's worth f goods -18 cents, ' After the war, when the god of protection was further exalted when the National debt was three billions the rate on tho dollar was made cents. Now, twenty-four years after Leo's surrender, tho rate is made t0 cents. In contrast with the vicious tax of 183:. which is 0-1 per cent, tho new exaction is 90 per cent. This bill "to reduce taxation" now comes before a Democratic House. Whether or not that House accept a "Conference the IIora:d cares little. for it knows that if the President get the form of this bill against the skv he will unload his honest blunderbuss I in such a way as to further carry on the war of education which is- to en franchise the people. Chicago Herald. WHO PAYS THE TAX? Tlie- l.ic !lvrn to tin- Two lVt Aisrrtlons of Illicli-Tarlir SliouU-r. During the lust campaign, in iml tation of the statement in Mr. Iiarri son's letter of acceptance, itwa urged from every s-iump that tho tariff was not a tax, to be paid by tho consumer, but an impost, paid by the foreigner. Mr. Harrison Mated in his letter of acceptance that those who argued that tho tariff was a tax were by that net attacking tho very principle of protection. It was further argued that, the effect of the ti riff caused a reduction in tho price of all article) "tibjcct to its provisions. Iu this connection tho following extract from th Snnnli? smb. gtltute for tho House Tariff bill will ba found suggestive: " Sec S3ia AH lumber, timber, hemp, Manila, wire row. and iron and sleel rod', hars, spikes nnll, plates, alible, barn and lolt, T L : " , .pvt unit vv"H'ut siwn tut, nuivri iitAj lie ncce sary for tun construction and ctnilp. mentor vessels In ilia United Stuts for foreign account ami nrnirhlp. or for the pur1 oie of being employed In tho foreign trade, iHdud n the trade between tlie Atlantic and I'aCtle ports of the lnlted States, alter the passage of thN iwt, mcy lie imported In bond, under such rrsulatlons as the Secretary of the Treasury way prescribe; and upon proof that such materials have been uut lor such purpos, no duties shall ha iwhl thereon. Hut vessels recclv.K the benefit of this section shall net he allowed to meaice In the coastwise trade of the United States mora than two mouths In any one year, except upon the piysient to ti c United States of tho riutle on which a rebate 1 herein nllowed! Provided, That vessels built n ths United Stales for forelri account and ownershln shall not be allowed to enjjsita In the ro.tstw.se trade et the United States," . Now it may bo fairly asked why. If tho tariff is not a tax to be paid by tin Importer, but by tho foreigner, the allowanco of this rebate Is of any benefit to tho American ship-builder? Or, If tho effect of tho tariff tax is to reduce tho cost of every article embraced in its provisions, whore is any lament to follow fiom tho suspension of its operation? If it is said that those nro only a few articles, and can not bo said to form a basis for an argument against a tariff which embraces nearly four thousand others, it must bo reniembored that on every attido manufactured from raw mat'ilals imported from abroad, the law allows an almost similar rebate thus giving the He to both of the assertions Of tho tariff taxurs to which reference is made. This is not nn exceptional case. Every argument of the high-taxers is equally fallacious, when submlted to the test of reason. -Chicago Leader. The. lop should not bo alto gether displaced by electricity. It might lie a National misfortune, for give the protection Senators rone ; enough and they will certainly hang themselves Chicago Herald.

THE TRUSTS RtiUKED. The OMHgM-4 ttt MwlllHir CHJtetltlH lif rruMldllvf) XurlHW. In the decision of Judge lUrrett we have a warning which all of the tariff, pampered trust must heed The articles for the formation of the sugar trust were drawn by an eminent lawyer, and. while all the great trust do not conform strictly to these articles, it la still true that if. on an appeal to the court of last resort, the decision is against them, an effective check will be imposed upon the usurpations of the trusts, and their tower for widespread evil will be destroyed. The reason for the greater efficacy of the courts in such matters is found in the fact that most of these evils arise from special or class legislation. Among the railroads we find extraordinary charters and privileges inconsistent with public welfare and contrary to our constitutions. The wornt evils arise from over legislation,

and from tho fact that tho representative of corporations know what they want and how to get it. If the public mind could bo so enlightened as to insist on confining legislation to general laws, and to publlo purposes, the difficulties which so often embarrass us would not arise. One Legislature is kept busy rectifying tho errors of its predecessors. Unfortunately, instead of repealing bud laws, the members set about to amend them, thus strengthening tho hold capital and corporations acquire on commerce and in politic?. In dealing with railroads and other corporations; in rectifying the abuses of tho tariff; in correcting tho abuses of our criminal laws, it will be found best, in the main, to repeal tho Statutes which have given rise to so many abuses, rathor than to attempt to rectify tho abuses by now laws. The following trusts are especially concerned in tho decision of Judge Harrett: AmiTionn Cotton Seed Standard O.l Trust, Oil Trust. Tin Trust. Central Iron Trust, rurtridne Trust, Soup Tru, Knvelope Trust, Salt Trust, General Steel Trust, Nai, Trust, Kmc Trust. Glass Trust, Spool Cotton Trust, liessemer Steel Trust, Cordage Trust, linseed Oil Trust, Paper Hug Trust, Croehery Trust, Plow Steel Trust, Coffee Trust, Lead Trust, Hu titer Shoe Trust, Spool Silk Trust. Legislation against those combinations would avail littlo. but if Congress should put all those articles on the free list twolvo months1 open competition would free us from tho worst of these. Limiting competition by a prohibitive tariff gives a bonus to tho organizers of trusts. Hence we .say they are tho ercaturo3 of vicious legislation, and that tho ba4 way to deal with them is ;o repeal the law which has warmed thorn into life. Louisville CourierJournal. SPIRIT OF THE PRESS. Wages in Pennsylvania are declining. So much for Harrisonian high - tariff prosperity. Louisville Courier-Journal. The Democratic party is a lowtariff party or nothing. If it does not continue to mako an aggressive and uncompromising movement against high "protective" taxation it Will be disorganized. St Louis Republic. Mil reh ison, alias Osgoodby, announces that ho will be in Washington on March 4 in order that General Harrison may become acquainted with him. If tho President-elect is going to do any snubbing in his official capacity ho will find Murchison, alias Osgoodby, a splendid subject to practice on. Chicago News. It is rather misstating tho case to assort, as a Republican organ does, that "a United States Judge very promptly and vigorously sat down on the attempt to smirch Colonel Dudley." Such talk. In view of tho facts, is likely to accentuate the general belief that Colonel Dudley smirched himself. Pittsburgh Dis patch (Ind. Hep.). Osgoodby says: "I did not com- . v . A . - . - .4 .1... l - i cop ed t and sent it on In my name, j Probably it was composed in the New v.,, m i nt i, Jinf.,- M... Stanley Quay; but that is immaterial, f '.. . Hotween tho vulgar villain that composed it and tho vulgar villain that copied it, the degree of villainy is so slight that it is not worth examination. Chicago Globe. Tho tariff reformers," says Mr. Chauncoy M. Dopow, " havo tho devotion of tho propagandists and the fire of tho Crusader." They have. ndecd; and Mr. Dopow ought to be sufficiently familiar with history to know that theso quail ties are much more likely to win in tho long run than all the ardor of Interested selfish ness, which Is tho main stock in trade with tho high protectionist Provi dence Journal. Jinge Howling for War. Tho Samoan trouble has boon the signal for a good deal of that blatant hifaltttin and llapdoodlo known aa "Jingoism." Follows with their mouths full of tho clamor for "wah" propose that some other fellows shall "sock it to" the successor of Charlemagne without further thought or hesitation. They are ontUiring the pungJ of humiliation because of "tho cowardice of the administration." From their ragged remnants of aackcloth and throne of ashes they cry out that the only proper caper is to shot tho guns ami blaze away and make tho Gorman Empire howl. They are a lino job-lot of Hotspurs, and if any thing could intensity the belief that War U a reproach to Christianity and clvllimitlon it wouid be the fact that these welktn splitters are Its first and moat tierseverlng advocHUW.llrookIva Eagle.

PERSONAL AND LITERARY. Mark Twain in aald by one wk knows him well to lie the most miserable of men. He Is powieenod of a wild, mad fear that ill-luck is bound to overtake him and deprive him of his fortune. It is said that he shed tears of despair when an old fourteen-dollar eow died a short time age, Mrs. Delano A. Goddard. who died in Eoston, was a lady of fine literary attainments and a linguist of unusual accomplishments. She was for many years the Hoston correspondent of the Worcester Spy, and a part of her literary work was tlie compilation, with Harriet W. Preston, of a volume of poems, "Sea and Shore." They say Thomas Hood first planned the phonograph; as witness, this, from hU "Comlo Annual" for 18!W: "In this century of inventions, when a self-acting drawing-paper has been discovered, for copying visible objects, who knows but that a future Niopoe. or Daguerre, or HorscheL or Fox Talbott, may Hnd out some sort of Hoswelllsh writing paper, to repeat whatever it hears." Toward the end of his life, it Is 3aid, Charles Heade was accustomed to dictate his compositions to a secretary while he paced the room, suiting his actions to his words. In " "Love and Money" the remark occurs in the dialogue, "There's a smut on your nose." The great dramatist gave the original exclamation off with such perfect intonation and gesture that hie secretary was for once deceived. n rose, went to tho mirror, handkorchiof in hand, only to bo laughed at by hla employer. N. V, Tribune, An old book has just come to light which was writton by Jay Gould, the railway mngnate, boforo he was known to fame. It is entitled "A History of Delaware County and tho' llordor Wars of Now York." Tho book is loud in denunciation of aristocrats, and in praise of liberty, honost mon and manual toll, containing, among other things, this sentiment: "The noblest men I know In earth Are men whose bands are brown with toll; Who, baoked by no ancestral graves, Hew down the woods and till the so U And win thoreby a prouder fame Than follow klnRS" and warriors' name,' General Low Wallace and his wife

are both handy with tho pen, and busy with it, too, having oach sent out two books during tho year just ondod. They made money. The Harrison biography, by the General, was well paid for, and tho "Iloyhoodof Christ," a high-priced holiday book, has already gone into its fifteenth thousand. Mrs. Wallace's two books, "Tho Kopose of Egypt" and "The Land of Pueblos," both sold well. It Is said that the General has made at least sixty thousand dollars from his "Hen Hur," and his Fair God" has also turned him in a neat sum. - HUMOROUS. Householder to tramp "No. you can't have any thing to eat here. Go right away." Tramp "That's what they told me over the way. They said you hnd only one meal a week here. Sorry I troubled you. Ta-ta." N. V. World. An Irishman stopped at a hotel, ot supper, breakfast and lodging, and told the landlord in the morning he had no money. The landlord asked him why he did not say so last night "Och, I thought you would feel sorry enough to hear It this morning!" "I don't seo why you can't got rich. You sell a mainspring for $ 1.50 thatenly costs you ten cents." "That may bo true, sir, but wo have to keep three clerks to wait on tho lady shoppors, and we must got our money back In some way." Jewelers' Weekly. A Lesson in Derivation "Pa,"; said littlo Johnny Fauglo. " what! does tho word 'cornucopia' mean?"1 It Is derived from tho Latin cornu,' which menus 'horn,' and 'copia,' meaning 'plenty ' Jsow form tho meaning yourself. Johnny." " Plenty r ft 8aloon. v1)ntW8 MHfjttIne. t, . , , " ... Mobby has boon imparting to thet nlster tho Important and cheerful itifncnmluin that. Iilu fullim- Imu trnt. n. iniormauon mat nis miner lias got a now set of falso teeth. " Indeed.' Hobby," replied tho minister, Indulgently; "and what will ho do with the old set?" "Oh, I s'posc," replied Hobby, "they'll cut 'em down and mako me wear 'cm. "Harper's Bazar. "Brothers Dumley, do you suppose I can got your wife to give our Young j Ladies' Domestic Economy Association1 an address on housekeeping or something of that sort? Her books and' magazine articles are so much admired that I think she must talk delightfully." "Oh, laws! my wife can't talk." "Why, what's the matter with hor?" "She's all write." Springfield Union. "Did any one in this car drop anj money?" called the conductor, as he opened the door. There was a painful silence for half a minute, and thon a man held up his hand. "How much was It?" asked tho conductor. "I dropped forty-five dollars at faro last night, hut I can't expect to get it all back. Glvo me thirty-five dollars and let the rest go to experionce." Detroit Free Press. " Have you done any thing for. mo? " asked the condemned man, in pitiful tones, as his lawyer ontorod tho cell. "Yes, indeed," said tho legal gentleman, gleefully. ''Oh, what Is it?" demanded the murderer, "a pardon?" "No." "A commutation of sentence?" "No." "Thon, in mercy's name, what?" "I have succeeded," said the lawyer, "In having the day of your execution changed from Friday to Monday. Friday Is m unlucky day, you know." Yt" made.