Jasper Weekly Courier, Volume 29, Number 19, Jasper, Dubois County, 4 February 1887 — Page 3

WEEKLY COURIEK. C. DOAXS, JPubllMlMtr. JASTS R. - IK WAIT A.

LOVER CATKOHIBM. a TaoM mt aowr www hanr PiwUf Mm, I'd ktH Mm UtWMIW(Ml Mt! TTnla I'll u I h iia Utt. jg smmt on en sTe It ky torn www tort," KoMtfi WWMtt tiHMI MjVS SM If my MmmmS TfcMgU ay bMty htMr BMHito Km, 14 mvs um " ,f. If tlgr btoMM wMt;' Tm tees, kMwtaff, Oirii, BMutytatwtlMtr Kefekf, wlArt tkn Mve km gfcoaM wr M4r Mm jp-sjr? 'WevtMt tlw tans aw, Kt&fejr, MJm btoarail alwayy " gwsotMt'XM, r 4 mv Uhm hiM thy lock tare wMts; Um, I'd Willi tek Him TkiM eyss (Hn te sight." XebfeT, WMtMt tlw a Ye BVS If sqr atey frrew Oow ! LtMlffcHMf! Xe,M, aer M0y Xm, I'd kre tfcM. WlMMM'W MUM, StM I take taee Mtjr, Xm, tobewj WW; TWO WEDDINGS. 'At "Which There Were Neither Brideetiialda Nor Flowera. "Such wedding! No bridesmaids, no music, no breakfast, no reception! I declare, I should not feel a if I had been married!" exclaimed Marion Wiltotighby, throwing herself down upon the low fauteuil in her own elegantlyappointed drawing-room, and throwing off the delicately-tinted gloves which served a a finish to the exquisite Parisian toilet. There was only one other occupant in the room, a man, tall and handsome, standing with one hand noting on the back of her chair. She did noL glance up a she spoke, or note that Charles Thornley a face had lost color. Yon are speaking of Miss Mar vine's wedding." he said. There is one essential to mot marriages that you hare not enumerated in your list of things lacking. Was love wanting?" 0h, no. I believe she loves him. She certainly must do so to an almost absurd extent. They are to go to housekeeping in an unfashionable locality up town, where he must be away from early morning until quite six o'clock. He occupies pome salaried position clerk in a bank, I believe ami she might have married any body." Honest labor degrades no man, Marion," came the firm, quick answer. "Even a clerkship is not always found, and I woukl rather break stones in the street than live on money acquired dishonestly or doled out of charity, though in such case I would ask; no woman to share my lot" "This looks like breaking atones, does It not ?" she laughingly answered, letting her own jeweled fingers close over the man's hand where it rested a hand whose shape betokened its aristocracy, and whk'k was soft and white as a woman's. At her light touch hkt strong arm quivered. He bent ami let his lips rest an instant caressingly on her hair, for the girl beside htm was his aMtfnced wife. 'It could lreak stones, though, dear, ami I don't know but it woukl make me a better man. Suppose I lost my money, Marion ? Suppose it wore all swept away from me in an hour, ami I had a position offered me a position which woukl enable m to live humbly, very much as your f He nil is going to live tell me what you would do ?" You are only talking to try me, Chester, and 1 hate such questions. In the first place it is entirely out of reason, for even were it so, papa, yon know, is very rich, ami our home coukl always be with him." I said to yon that I woukl rather starve than eat the bread of charity. Therefore, putting this possibility aside, tell me what yon woukl do P" Her fingers released their grasp upon his hand. Was there significance in the action f He smiled bitterly as he saw it. His face was very pale now. Except that he stood still behind the chair she must have noticed it "You are utterly absurd this afternoon, Chester," she said, petulantly. " Hate I not just toM yen that Edith Marvine's wedding was more like a funeral than a weddfar? And thnuvh I presume I shall one slay have to attend my own funeral, I will not, I as sure you, be voluntary agent Have you nothing more agrfcenbto that you can find to say to mc?" TImj man sliook off certain some thing which seemed to envelop him in n almost invisible cloud, and he an swered with the ohl courteous grace wnieh sHited him so well, and made his power with women almost a proverb. Money always seemed to' taking to him by an inherent right. It was so natural that he should be rich. Ko one eoukl have imagined Chester Thornley poor. He knew so well hew to axttend his wealth. He gave it so generously, yet without ostentation, that no man envied Mm. Yet he knew half an hour later, when he left hk farw1l Wilbmghby's lips, that it was a fareweu u ail Hopes and happiness. The blow had already folk. H IsVaua a a. aleeJI t t - mmm, witn seavceiy a hilling ha H call hk own, ha had nm mt wm mffrattmM money eonki proetwa tn Ms thirty years el Mfg. It M miwn too, thriHurh no f)t of kU ttKHtfhlhtrtWM MA eosafort

in thai. Tk i waaeminV." Tm' hi Um kMokljfe that ha TV'0 man, and that he might start a. "JJ the world with no bttrdoa o Ids t. rmA shouldartf or hht eoNseience, Tru'

thare waa a dep wonad m his haart He had loved Market mi well that to give her tip was to voluntarily rsMoune God's sunlight IhH all bar life had been spent amid luxury. It waa to her a necessity. Deprived of it ahe would droop and fade; and better any kt than to see her struggle and know that ha had brought it upon her. Beskies, she had made her uhoiee. To her a wedding meant flowers, tnusie, friends, the toilet of abrkle. The future, the eomntttnkm of two hearts, the solemn responsibilities incurred were but secondary considerations. "Good-bye, my darling," he said, as they parted; but when ahe added "until" to-morrow" he added neither yea nor nay. "To-morrow" the work! knew that Chester Thornfey's ship had gone upon the recks. Many f his butanes associates woukl have held eut to him a helping hand, but firmly and kindly he refused every oner. He wrote Marion a few lines, recall tng to her mind the conversation of the day before, and released her from her vows to him. 'Itany good fortune comes to ine," he concluded, "you shall hoar of it. If 1 am silent it is because my life is wrap)ed in silence and shadow. Bless you, darling, for the light you have cast upon it. It will be like looking back to Heaven. I dare not see you again I tested ?ny strength to its full extent yesterday, God grant that some better man may win you; to love you better is not within his power. Nor must you think that I blame you that you shrank from sharing the new life upon which I enter. Flowers can not live without sunlight. I only wanted to be sure that 1 made no mistake i u interpreting the best course for your happiness." Ami then, with a few more warm, jmssionate, loving words of farewell, the letter closed. Two years passed, ami the little workl that had known Chester Thornley so well knew him no more. He had entirely disapicared. It was as tlnnigh the sea had opened and swallowed him up. Marion Willdughby was Marion Willoughby still. If she suffered site made no sign, tltose who had seen the one sparkling stone which had leen the pledge of Iter engagement to Chester Thornley noticed that she wore it still, and others, yet more narrow watchers, observed that always when she entered a crowded room she woukl take a hasty glance around, as though expecting to find some one not there. She was yet but 22, a lelki and a beauty still. The third winter of his absence she left home to spend several weeks with an aunt. "I can not spare you' her father had said, when the invitations came. But she, going close to him ami laying her head for a moment on his breast, sakl: "I think, papa, it would be best" They were simple words, but he interpreted them aright Theokl wound woukl not cease its bleeding. She wanted to go amid new scenes, so he only kissed her and bade her to remember that the okl father awaited her return. "You have net been through the steel works," some one sakl to her one day. "It is really a most interesting sight. Will you Join a party if we make up one to visit them, Miss Willoughby?" "With pleasure," she answered, lightly. And her aunt, charmed with the success of her beautiful niece, smiled at Clay Clayton's numerous devices to insnare Marion's society. He was the great jmrii of the place. She hail heard something of some early disappointment in Marion's life. It woukl be a splendid triumph thus to obliterate it. The morning appointed for the expedition dawned beautiful and bright They seemed, indeed, like drones in truding utKMi some busy hive of work era as they entered the great buikling and koked about them. Department after deitartment they visited, watch ing with interest the delicate machin ery ami its wonderful Working. Marion's cheeks flushed with interest, and Clay Clayton, noting, thought he had never seen her look so beautiful. To-day he determined he muH speak, when suddenly he heard a cry, and glancing up saw her standing quite apart from the xroun, her eyes ablaxe. her Hps quivering. At a little distlnce from her, adjusting some piece of machinery, was a man in a working blouse. Her cry also attracted him ami he looked un. Their eyes met His face grew deathly pale, but gave no other sign of recognition. She went straight towanl him, oblivious of all, with hand outstretched. 'Chester," ahe sakl, in avoiee scarce louder than a whisper; ,4at last?" He bowed low in response and took no iiotk of her hand, but the old dauntless pride was in the uplifted head and fearless glance. "lMd you know that I was hers?" she questioned. "No," he replied. "I am mo longer inyeur www." "You will eonw to see mm?" "lean not" Here hk voiaa loke a little. "Mr. Clayton," she sakl, "let me preef it ny friend, Mr. Thornley." ShU of the innate breeding of the Mas, some of the instinctive surprise at hearing a stoat-worker addressed by Miss ? iWoughby as a frhMtd made H mM UHMfMt la Um mmmmm Im Ytt. j w sv nrjwi drwa wwwb smm awa sw j fv trove 19 concern. Than the party passed on. He wondered, howtrar, why Markm ttasrcrsd

a NMmtMtt in aha eMaa to

snptriuWadestt sou qnssttow as they came out into the air. Ma had ma a at, too. to aak her ea tha way heata the question which all the day, and for many days, had been tremottn oa his but there was a new expression ia iiit. fvea and mouth which instantly totflrifi w " UnM P"1 Hfrd that www inside, who bowed so like a fc 'ontleman, been otherwise than a werkm.ftMt ha might have suspected him as in way responsible. It was quHa .sguhw anough as it was that Miss Wilkkr kve dressed him aa frkuul. Douhtlesa some man who ha "f "ttf and for whom ahe fcJ1 womanly ptty. Can I sm Mr. Thornk?", , ' The mistress of tha hmahC outage in one of the suburbs "JFi city looked up amaaad at tha ba.ut"ul young lady who asked the quasti "Indoed, I auonosa vou mav. Mak gone up to his room, where he spans all his evenings, and not a bit of map per to-night has be touched. Shall I call him down?!' "No; let nte go to hint." It's the first room to the right ofj the stairs, miss. He ia the only lodger I have, ami you are his first visitor." But the girl beetled not the words. A stratige vision she surely was as site stood an instant outside his door, clad in cotitly velvet and rich furs. Then site softly turned the handle ami entered. He dkl not hear her. He had thrown himself upon bis sofa and buried his head in its cushions. He was so still, so motionless, site thought lie must be sleeping. She swiftly crossed the room, ami laying her hand on his shoulder, called Ins name "Mv God!" he cried, and woukl have I started to his feet, but she held him back, falling on her knees beside him. "Chester, site pleaded, "ye would not come- to me. My pride is less than yours,, my lave greater. I have come to you. Dkl you think my heart uttered the unworthv words for which 3ou have punished me all those years? I have tried to find you so1 long so long and hopelessly." And site bowed her beautiful head and sobbed outright "Hush, dear, hush! ion shoukl not have come here, Marion. It might compromise you." "Compromise me with mv future husband? See,- Chest or," and she held up the hand on which gleamed the ring, "I have never accepted y free dom." Mv own brave girl," he said, his voice softening even while he girded himself up for the strength of which he stood in such need. "But the heaven you open tor me can not be. I am foreman of the works where you saw me to-dayv Marion. My knowledge and love of machinery eteod roe in good stead. I heard of this epening and secured it To-day I was adjusting some difficult piece of work I daretl not to t rust to any workman. I am in receipt of a liberal salary, which I am laying aside, dear, living as poorly as I can, hoping one day to buy an interest in the business. One er two improvements I have made are rapidly attaining me the goal, but it h still far off. I can not ask you to wait, nor to forget the years of labor which have helped me to reach it" I have waited already to long, Chester," she whispered. "I'm ready now to Income your wife." His face grew deadly white. "Oh, Chester," she sakl, "when I have so much money why are you so cruel and so prowl?" I can not go back to a life of ease and dependence," he answered, "even with you, dear . love, to brighten it Bless you for coming to me, Marion 1 Bless you for showing me all a noble woman can be! The memory of this hour will lighten all the future years." "Cheater, you do not understand me," she persisted. "I will forget that I have a single penny in the workl except what you give me. X will share whatever home you offer me -even this. For Itetter, for worse, darling, we pledged ourselves as sacredly a though we stood before God's altr. In God's sight I am your wife. I claim my right to share your dark days as well as those on which the sun of prosperity may sh'ine." He strove to answer, but his voice broke. She had conquered, but, woman-like, she gave him the glory of her victoty aa she sobbed out her happiness upon his heart A month later there was a quiet wedding, at which there were neither Howers norhrhlesmakls nor music; but Marion Willoughby missed nothing. It was only after the ceremony had been informed that Chester showed her a document which had Iieen his wedding ynit irom tne nrm ite nmi scrvcu so (faithfully, ami which admitted him as junior partner from thjd date. Rut she smiled half sadly aa she looked at it through a mist of tears. You sakl once, dear," she whispered, "that Mowers to live needed sunlight. My darling, I had not then made the wonderful discovery that love made sunlight everywhere. With your heart for my home, be its outward adornment what it will, I envy no King his palace or Queen her throne." Ms Jtfoefe. It is wrong not to sweep a carpet thoroughly before removing front the Moor. A little soap Itark or fcennlne will remove stain, but nnleaa of htk or similar chemicals, hat soapsuds and a Matt i) id ekrih are with impunity en the Maest and newest mm I Make k nliettat "At Home a the Farm."

POLrThOAt MMMtATTTUOC.

JI4Mletotoe4tMb Some fool f Heads of lUMbHeaa chiefs of divisioas at Washington whose places bare been vfrea to susmortorsof been retai neuaschhW aletks at i si arias hut slightly lest than those they have formerly received, have for back been sendiag'slueh to SepubUcaa journals, tolling how incompetent the new eh ten are and hew essential tea ax-chtefs are to tha conUaaedeflcietiey ef tha divisions. To a man not wholly Minded by partisanship, the fact that these chiefs of divisions have been retained in ofltoeat food pay and have been given positions where they are protected by the ctvUaerviee rules as long as they behave themselves, weaiu seem to demon rate the earnest desire of the Administra tion to reform the abuses of the "spoils" system. To one not affected with this partisan obliquity of vision, tfc distinction between an osnec which fcwroh'es immediate personal responsibility to the head of the bureau or departaeeat which, therefore, requires personal trust and eonAde6, and a merely clerical position is well narked and easily apprehended. A head of a department may very weU desire that his chiefs of division shall be men upon whose Mdelity he naay rely and who will be in sympathy with bis administrative methods, and not the legacies of a former administratieu and at the same time consckntiewriy strive to enforce Civil-Service principle aa applied to department work generally. And when he takes pains to provide displaced ex-chiefs with good clerical positions, it does not fit the Republican mouth very well te assail him. for these acta of graiousnee. The statement that the Administration or any department thereof ia dependent upon these Republican exehiefs forthe efficient conduct of affairs ia simple nonsense. If hey think the Government can not get along without them, er if they do not think their present pay k great enough, there is no law whatever against their reigang.Diroii Fret Pre. PRESS 'NOTES. , , , The Nanry Department hae ordered another trial of the Atlanta, which, it is to be hoped, will be more satisfactory than the first one. Little dependence can be placed on those Republican contract built vessels left ae a legacy to Secretary Whitney. We will have to wait for the new ships to be constructed under the auspices of the present Administration. JWnwy Argtu. On a pinch, Senator Ingalls, ef Kansas, is willing .to admit that the negro has a legal right to vote the Democratic ticket, but he is positive that one who does that things is an i n grate who does not deserve his freedom. The nero who would suit Ingalls, then, woukl only be about half emancipated. The men who are running the Republican party now are not those wbe freed the negro. Chicago Ifermid. What a nonentity Senator Mitchall, of Pennsylvania, is, appears from the fact that he received no support complimentary or otherwise, in the Republican caucus for the nomination ef a candidate for United States Senator. The dearth of great men among the Republicans in the State is shown in the fact that Matthew S. Quay received every vote ia the Rep'ichcaa caucus with the exception ef nine. Detroit Free Trt. M. S. Quay, the successor to John L Mitchell in the United States Senate was chairman of the pardoning hoard that spared Ketnble, of "addition, division and silence" fame, the merited disgrace of a term in the State penitentiary by convoking the board immediately upon the passing of sentence upon him, and rushing a pardon through before he could be removed to prison. The record of this ottcial eondonercf corruption has not injured his standing in the party that once boasted of its "moral ideas," and does not cheek the exhuberanee of a Chicago organ of t he Republican party brand, which, noting the nomination ef this ringster and political boss in Pennsylvania and of a reputable Democrat in Maine, exulting!)' adds: "Mr. Quay will be taken and Mr. Clifford left." For blinding Men to the difference between right and wrong, there is nothing like partyteat. CafMee Time. m m Democratic N agrees The Republicans are making a wry face over the fact that the colored ofloial Mr. Matthews has proven both competent and . honest They have carefully vivisected his record and can find nothing to object to except that he is a Democrat As a sign of the times the prominence of a Democratic colored man is portentous to the Republican party. Suppose it should become known throughout the South that the Republicans are not the sole political dependence of the negroes; that the pleasant little fables which were freely etrculated in the South in 1881, to the effect that if the Democrats eante into power slavery would be once more esnegro children served up e the half shell to satisfy the ogreish appetite of the Democracy, are shown to be false, what then? And suppose that the colored people who are not as easily duped as they were ten years ago should get the fatal notion into ! their heads that a Democratic Admin ietrathm will look after their rights, 1 and, an in the Freedmun's Bank swindle, help them to get hock the money Iwhlah KMMtUksMte stota fiom them aswl a id oh tha Rnnuhltoaa muti" rased to make feed, what then? if. I".

POOWaTD TO DCPCAT. M wMartiHr" War m WW tae ffanoalaala SUprtHiana Am rniSi

adytlSkMwa of M 'T'' and Pennsylvania have just demon at rated that they have learned nothing by recent Xational defeat The lees of the rioaklenuj" on their part waa due aa much to the widespread papular improsaion that the men at the head of the Bopublician organ iaatiou were unworthy as to any other cause. It was hoped by many of the bolters of 1M4 that temporary defeat would send sosM of these fellows to the rear, hut in the light of recent erente ia two of the principal States ia the Union there earns to be no reason to look for such a result. Ia Xew York State the aeeentMy had just re-elected to the Speakership the odoreue J. W. Hasted, of Westchester County, than whom no legislator in the last ton yean has obtained a more questionable reputation. Hm methods have all been obnoxious to decency and uprightness ia polities, and he never yet gained, a place of prominence in hht party without encountering the protcste of the best eietuents thereof. In Pennsylvania Matthew S. Quay, a long-time henchman of the Cameron gang, has been elected to the United States Senate almost without opposi tion. He has been asiociated with all the scandals of Republican rule ia that State for twenty years, and hae on all ia proved himself a willing and eat tool of the corrupt heeses against whose methods the election of Governor Pattison in 1881 was a proteat, Aa a lobbyist Quay hae long bee unfavorably known to the people, and as a politician of the most extrctne and reckless type he has commended- him self eary to the rings which have now eonclnded to give hint his reward. It waa Quay who worked hand in hand with the notorious Kernble in lobbying through the Fennsylva i nia Legislature the 1,000,000' grab for the alleged settlement of riot losses in Pittsburgh. For bis part ia that labor Kembkt was nadieted, tried, convicted and sentenced to the penitentiary, and t it was M. 9. Quay, who, aa a member of the Board of the State, had a reso lution in favor ef Kemble'a release ready for the Governor's signature beforethe culprit had been removed from the court when sentence had been passed upon hinu In the case of Hosted a disposition to adhere to aa okl and disappointed poUtkfian is the worst that can be charged against his party. Ia the ease of Quay the situation is different Aottung but a slavish submission to the dictation of the Cameron, which woukl have induced the Legislature to aeleet any creature whom they might name, can explain the elevation of such a man to the Senate. A party so wedded to its eld-time idols, smeared all over ami broken aa they are, ia evidently electioneering for another licking. PROVED TO E FOOLS. Instead of showing that the predictions of the Bl nines and the Shermans that a change by the people ia their Government would bring disaster upon all busuvess enterprises the record of failures for the last six years seems te prove that the change was made jastia time to save the country front wholesale ruin. In 1841 the number of failares waa 5,939. Ia ISSf this bad increased to 7,886. In 1888 the number had risen to 10,391. Ia 1884 there was another inereaee to 11,890, and ia 1888, the first year of the new regime, the failures dropped to 11,110, to be succeeded ia 1888 by another drop to 10,886. Ia the loot four years of the rule which the croakers sought to eon vines the people they could not get along without the commercial disasters nearly doubled. Ia the Cnt two years of the new management they have decreased by more than one thousand. Probably by another two years they will be back again to the place where they started ia 1880. These Mgwree are neither new nor suqtristngto men of intelligence and fairness, for the ascendancy ef any party which represeato the majority of the people will not be injurious to their or any ether interest, but they need to be hammered into the heads of the men who have attempted to teach the vicious doctrine that changes in party goTernmeatv are apt to hurt anybody except the politicians. The proof here submitted that things were growing worse with groat rapidity under Republican rule, and that under Dentoeratie rule they have improved slowly hut surely proves nothing but the propensity of party worshippers to make fools of themselvss on very alight provocation. If the improvement should ge on the Democratic Biaines and Shermans will need to be warned not to make the same mistakes that hare now been shown up in the ease of their adversaries. Ko one parry k necessary to the prosperity of the Amerioan people. Ckieff Ifermid. mmm Aa the statistics of the year are published they show that although there hue been a Democratic Admtaietratkm the country hae prospered. Our esteemed Repuhlieaa ctm temporaries, howerer, are cheered by the hope that some groat national distress may come to the of their lugubrious predietioas during the coming year. A. J Work. The Albany Jmnml (Blaine Bop.) feels called on to remark that "a feed many of Mr. Btwiac's feel friends are Hae froaen dynamite earWdges; when you warn them up atabiruW ner. they blew the roof .'

FIMOWAL AKO UTCTAJtY.

nkaMt mI Lm vMrm snewun jrawmnu m seen lees thaa any other man, ht '. Hhram P. Revels, the hret man elected to the United ate, is now a well-to-do farmer in siseiaoL Chiemmm Jalar flwia. mmt, InteumV nfckmamma JleTfimS; 8maN8) Bmmuff antmMT Idward Brerott Hate, ia noted as chief among the most charitable women ia Mrs. Logan was wont to say: "John is a familiar name with me. M ia my grandfather's and father's, and is my husband's and and my ton's CAmmmm Jiatmtat U""JfrU' w WrV 4BW V The new editor of the Brooklyn Union, Major B. Page, has never been MoAcerin thetirmyortaemHkia,ad dees hot hear A military title. Major is hht Christian name. He has been a reporter, correspondent and edtteria writer for the Brooklyn Boole for a doaon years. .w Mrs. Heory Ward Beecher has contracted with an English pufalkihir to write a series of articles on topics relating to women for a religious periodical. Although several years beyond the three score and ten limit, Mrs. Beecher is continuously engaged in literary work, besides aUendlag to nearly all of her husband's large correspondence. X Y. Stmr, Patti has arranged to take hack te Wales her niece, Caroline Dug champs, aged seventeen yean, the only da ugh tec ef her brother, the violinist, Carle Patti, a native of New Orleans. The aUC4 has been at a fashionable boarding-school in that eity for several years, the excises being paid by Patti. It is ejsdetwtood that the young girl win be adopted and receive a large share of nW diva's wealth. Mrs. Joseph Farrell. ef Winnipeg, is famed aa the first white woman married ia the Canadian Borthweet The ceremony took place at Fort Whoop Up in 1877. It was the occasion of sv big blewout on the part ef the and Blaakfset Indians, who tamed in great numbers in holiday garb, firing guns, yeffiag. eating, dancing and having- good time generaky ha genuine Indiesr faehiou. Congressman Townsendr of Bew Tork, who- lived in the same boeidSng--house with General Logan during the former's entire Congressional Mrs or, says: 'Pblftical opponents have delighted to'vepresent General Logan no rude and uneducated, but he was really one of the best4nformed men m mottors of history and literature that it hae been my fortune te associate with." Mark Twain is now said to he worth 84.500,000. Twenty years ago, on a salary of $36 a week, he was editing the irnVsy Brnmslie Review ht Sam Franeiseor a theatrical program printed for free distribution by the De Young brothers, who now run the San Francisco CrMefc At the same time Bret Harte was writing "eondensed no row" for the Osiee Jfra at the munificent compensation of $6 per column. HUMOftOUS. It is only when the minister the knot that the matrimonial engagement may be considered a match safe, LheU Cttrier. If a potteema ht by, and your shoe eontes undone, don't hook k, as it wiH look suspicious. Stes and Zesator ZVadei' Ckrvmicl. Ia Mineralogy Class. Teacher "Johnny, give me the name ef the largest known diamond." Johnny "The cM& "Dfclyott err m aft riapkaat SkVtia 9 sMmTsmnl nmmft tJunShmtsnff amf utn ifBmWat. -isB mt I rs. M0t w iWw .sunnBUniYnk, easm awamtemu? school. "I have," shouted a six-year-old at the bottom of the olaos. " Where?" inquired old spectacles. " On the elephant," was the reply. "Why," said an indignant manufacturer to Spieer, " out West a fellow has established a wooden-shoe factory," and he seemed no calmer whoa Lew OtllWr FCJPatJtl r3)lp WOOmWMa lnWMfc do the same U there was money ia k." Country Bride (In restaurant) "You do the orderm', John; that'll suit you'll suit me." Groom (studying the bill of fare) "Well, bow'il roast turkey, raw oysters, eora beef an' cabbage, ke cream, aa1 mince salt you?" Country Bride "Fuotrate, John, only hare Sm bring the mi ace pie het"--A. JT Shut Maud "Fa, my chin feek sere aa if I was getting some kind, ef skin eruption." Pa "How long have yea had it?" Maud-"I've only noticed the prickling sensation during the loot few days." Pa "Tell that feUew who calls to see you so much to shave. Thte under-the-mistletoe business has been overdone." Teas SKfMng. Omaha Man (at a restaurant) May I trouble you for the saHT CowIhiv (from Wayback) " You bet I you kin, stranger. Don't. care for salt, l myself." Omaha Man" I should j ikler it a very necessary part ef diet. A Berlin scientist proves conclusively that the generous use of salt m conducive of longevity," Cowboy Well, there's no ilcnyin that fellers m k too fresh don't Mve long out our way." Omaha Bach. "Well, now, juet toll me what comfort you've gained by getting married?" Young Husband "How do you fasten your juiipindorj when the buttons come off, as they generally do in about a. week?" "I net whre hooks usually." "Yes, and where do you get the wire?" "WeM, I finer ally have a time hunting for m piece I must admit I got the last off my whisk Wnfnhml ' YshB. fail BjMmtt teMft WftMl. BMreMHUt A VnVe ewewoa cpvuni ess is - "Just so; but what better are your "Me! Why Fve got a what, and she at t. j.jfct iuLA jaw aaaaja aafaa WITS MH IWfrtn 1B mym W aaaaam. aaaav waa. haAH-C)ooAa BVM.

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