Jasper Weekly Courier, Volume 28, Number 6, Jasper, Dubois County, 13 November 1885 — Page 7

WEEKLY COURIER

C. IX1AXK, lMbiUU-r. J A K B. I?;il!AKA "FC1TINA LCNTE." Iiowwr wuwiaqr m jHr tw Watk tiMr IfMtM MMMNty I VWki Art baas tbft bMln jomM wnw nr ts i aaa. Am4 tbe l.taa wtm wrtlaa "with StC in bis Mind, twdi J Ah, tbr mm whe pmmmmI Um aete Wasta mm eveta wbN he wrvtw. J lb f for K wUl wH jtt tbe w twiow. br Mm mtsa, J taMrwr, tbw atrvH. Lhrt'ataer for thy foot fteatt But her Mwk will Suafc and mm TUl it com- hv rw'kir mmii. lador Hi barb baa m reeae: a x WW. wtw t b Mi 14." lHk.tr wwrrft aowM iMit 4-tfot. Tbo wonU'H perish, poatal rv Oh. far beybofs aay war, jcwnnr last rteept all iter. Or fiw rtow hi t of mr, TW raVlw 1Yrw on the run. tor jour iart tb ImmmI not by: yoryour parch. Ih Uump pa bark for tour plenum, ou taw wmi lkm$ ar Bxbring. 4 mm are beat; For roer take tta boyish fr if, fHmm-frimirr. ruaawar: Trow for your uarele arse J "or )tar mm the bobtail car. Kvarjr I'Urw imi evrry wheal Toe re mat wanted, tdu am tbare. 2aslfaw, MUnar. kttt'riaar "Nml ntM tfeow lb bMMWttt Mafapf Mar tbou not lea- bf4lr nr tor; Krt. vaawwr. afelad4la, toy! Me tfief aroand tlMt corner Hindi, mmm tter, wakes apatnl fetewts irbu aavabim I'm tetter, where It wm aoiag, wbat be 4M ltJi St. aad rrturn, tat the wrrar mm to my that affkvewtd tb man aa 4ft . was "Ail timhWi-M. J. inintats. to brnuUtut 1 CUNNING SCHEME. But It DWs't Work to tlie Author's Entire Settsfavotioa. His partoMoner wateiwd Ker. Mr. Browv with peculiar iatercal as b left the grara-yarU. leaUIa hit two Uule girl by Um baacL They woaUered, kaoww; how muth sh Itati 1 h U) h:. how h wtmM endure the U-rriWu Uoar of his wife's death. Hig faca was Kkt; marble as tbm colBs wu lowered into the grave; thrt wa ao outward t 'n of agvk, but ao one tloubtod for a moment that h suJeretl keenly. Ha had beta rather a mrtbarr to kk coareatioa aiwavs; hat thuj knew him to be capable of deep feeling, in spite of his eold. impassire manaer. A B!Ky deasoatra:iT show of grief would bare bcea iatpoaiihie to him. lie was a mob of great traaquilitr of rc'ad. aad with UUk ergy of dtspowon. If teok all that I'rortdeooe Mt bin very dm.fullr. without any rort to change or atnead it. ao natter how objectionable it in gat be, aad be possessed in perfection iW art of pot-t.nz-up with1' whatsoever befell him. lie waa not a fajorlte with his flock, but he wa by no Beans uapopttlar. The poor loved hum, for his band was always ready to go to his pocket at a tsic of ii.trs, liraiteil a were hki locuis. aad Us reproof vera always of tbe mUdest ton. The rich, though they bad little to ay for him. had nothing to S3j againet hiss. They invited him frefpraUr to their houses, entertaised hint haadeowdy. and bore very ccmplaeeatlr with his habit of failiag into a brown r.wdy at the diaaer-table. As for the yonagrr portion of his Hoc. h:s good look, his rich chestnut hair and dreamy dark eye had early iaipnswed tbeta (Yofottndlv. and they sang 3 praues without stini It wsw a sonree of reerjt to Many of tlte yonag lad .e and a few of the o'Jcr ottc--that Mr. Krowa was a married atan. Many year before he itaa coae to the church at Rarstow he had wedded a gentle, sweet-tempered girl, who fairly worshiped him, and had proved herseU a good wife and a dwpced mother. Their weJdod life had flowed on csw'mIv a a meadow iToofc. nndiistQibed by aay pettv omet?c Jar or troubles. It had never occurred to Mr. Brown that it might not go oa so forever. He did aot notice hw wife's falling healtii, and as she was ooeof the kind who n ver complain, he was utterly uu prepared for her death. It stupefied him. he eould not amlrt-taod it. It scewd to him incndible, impoible, and be felt bewildered and bsTf-nuied even when he heard the ods falling on the co n. He went back to his lonely home with his two Kuie girls, and hut himself up his study, where he lay down on the Well-worn iocta-iv m Juil Haiti tsn la 12 head, it sewmad ia biui tUt l Uara must know how much he needed tr. lie cook! aot re;.. tbt iu w. gone. He lav there, half-exnectinr to her eater and to feel her tender tweh on his brew, soothing awav the pam as she had often done when he was hra:a weary. But hour after hour went by, and no owe eame near him. ad he beard m)r the voieas of his eaildretj x they talked loudlv to tbe k in tae kitchen. J-m mxt day he went out as usual. running bis accustomed round dotw as traminillr ami natientlv aMil waeifianta 1 1 V mix vr. ill tmrMbionr vemrm Uud in i evrvTS irntii v env tber expretc of admiratwa to each , W a tbey saw how well he bore his great sorrow, and tbey were very kiad , him, especially in the matter of ad Y"f- nis "tftetreetag situation ' was we .mbxt of debate in almost every owe in Rarstow. It was talked over t ihe meetings of the sewing circle, the reading club and the Indian Relief Aeeci3tJHt, and k was unanimously xrved that the best thing the poor whlwr conk! do was to employ a govfs. who could also act as heusektrper and general manager. Hut k was not an easy matter to Had Rgkt kind of a woman for the place, thong h there were many applicants for J1 w ,lccJ that only a middle-i;-respectable, ouiet woman, who would be ineanabM of sebemiasr to till ww s place, and who f fiZ ,v, Hptont to take charge of i IHUe girl, would do, ajl aih a " was hard to and. It was MWs AaaeteeM Bowen who at "ttgtb found juH the right person, aad ". Brown was willing to do just what Miss Bowen thought best that Hi U PonsiwlKy of installing Janes Piper in the parson are whfmeeky. Mke Piner wMxelteereld aerjonngi

iZJVL ryfomi whatever m fowl looks, and she was so exoseuJeJ! Sty that if the minister spoke tohe?K von the most trivial topLi she blushed as red as a peony. Hut these, aairf viu

""'""s were suea inmng drawbacks s almost to be looked unou ia tk of adriwitairiw, under the eireumaUnoes. Miss Hper was, si Mr. Brown soon aw, a very good woman, exoesdiugly eosMelenthMM and paiattrking. hbe did her best for th twpUttlegirU-healthv, hWy, pretty little creatures of nine mid eleven yenrs-wfao learned the idmple lesson she gave them from pure jjhr, not bscause they feared her Nispiensure. Probably there was no lady in Bartow who took a deeper interest in the household anairs of the bereaved widower than M! Anastasia Bowen. She was, in spite of the fact that youth had kmg since kft her, of a sentimental turn of mind, and the pale, high-bred foe and geotla manHor of Mr. Brown had inspired her with an iutm ation for him, which, after the death of hi wife, ripened into an undisguised attachment which was oatent in vi-v one hut the object of it Not a cbanoe did the spinster lose of seeing her idol, and scarcely a day passed that she did not run into the parsonae-a oa one exeuse or another. But the minister, absorbad l ki books and the metnorv of his diui Laura, was utterly and sublimelv un. eonscious of the passion he had inspired. The klea of a second marriage bad never entered his mind. He never even asked himself,, whether he liked MhM Ik) wen or not, but so constantly did she press her advice respecting every subject upon him that he grew to depend upon her in a great measure, and often consulted her ujwu different household and church matters, never touching, however, in aay manner wnatever upon the subject of lusUrimouy. The fact that she was making no headway in spite of her tireless efforts, spite of tbe attentions f he lavished upon tbe two little girls, at last dawned upon Miss Anastasia. and she set her. self to work to discover the reason. She came to the conclusion, after a careful review of the ground, that Mr. Brawn was too coarfortabie by far. Miss liner attended most assiduously to his crck "re comforts, and the societv of his children prevented any feeling of great loneliness. "He wouldn't hold out a month if he was left utterly alone,1' meditated the ambitious lady. "If be bail no one to see after'him or to talk to, he'd be apt to thin of me. There's no one also he'd turn to. He's one of the kinl to take what comes nearest and is most convenient" In which last conclusion Miss Anastasta was q'ute right, as my story will prove. She decided that no time was to be lost, and that it was best to begin op. erations at once. So, after carefully mapping out a course of action, she repaired to the parsonage and asked boldly to see Mr. Brown privately. Miss Piper, meek aad humble as usual, exhibited no surprise at the request, but made haste to show the visitor at once into tbe minister's studv, where he nat reading at his desk. The intention of "having a talk" on some Important subject was written Iriatuly on Her hard, lean face, ami Mr. wown laid down his book at once and prepared to listen to whatever she had come to say. "f hope Im not disturbing you, Mr. Brown, began Mum Anastatrfa. with a Kttle nervous coueh. as she took a seat She felt quite agitated, and an unwonted ' color briirhtened her tallow cheek. Her ' mission was so important, so much hung upon its success, that it was not strange site wa. not quite as calm as usual. "No, oh no," answered Mr. Brown, with a faint sigh, as he glanced at his beloriHl book. "1 am always glad to have you come. I hope there'is nothing wrongr' anxiously. r "The truth is, Mr. Brown, Tve come to see you about the girls. They are not managed as well as I could wish. Mis Piper is a good woman, but she can't bare the authority a a mother would have, you know, and she lets them do about as they pleae, and they are growing up rude and wild." Mr. Brown looked startled. It did not oeettt to him to question Miss Anastasia's statements. He took them in good faith always, being simple enough to believe her to have his interests at heart "Why, you were the one who reeommended Mke 11 per to me," he said at length, "and 1 hare been well satisfied with her." "She does the best she knows how," said Miss Anastasia. but she hasn't toiet authority to govern them nrouertv. Ah, poor tittle creatures, tBJtl HmmI flu. ttmrm ttt a mntJh.- " This was a bold stroke. A Hush rose to the minister's high, pale brow, but be gave no other sign of emotion. Any reference to his dead wife pained him, even now that she had lain in her grave two years, but of course he did not say so. "You are very kind to take such an interiML1 km Wimiinul a HttU U.1U. tinolly. "What would you advise?" i "1 would advise their beinr sent to a ooarainsr - scBooi. Mr. Brown, i have n . fn"' who keeps a rcry s sleet seminary l Woodstock. She would be delighted UKe barge of Flora and Annie, I am sure. " I .ohould not like to part with them," said Mr, Brown meditatively. "And and what would become of Miss Piper? 1 Wouldn't like to hurt her feeling, and she loves the girls dearly." " There'd be no cause for her to feel hurt Tetl her simply that force of circumstances wnipelsyou to dls miss her. A month's notice will be sufficient" " It will be very uaiileasaBt," said the minister in trepidation. "And where will she go? She has no homo but this, and not a relative In the world." " She mint find another situation," said Miss Anastasia. 'She can begin at once to look for ene. You can tell her of the contemplated ckango this even ing, ami, aner promising to write at once to the principal of the seminary . 4 ta ft . f . . . . a.7 at Woodstock, Mfss An astasia left walking home in a state of bliss bordering on ecstacy. She felt sure that "he had put in the first wedge that would lift her toward a home in the paraonaffe, and airendy began to plan tDe Chang she would nrnke in ke ar-raegemeat

u hl boon throw Mr. Brown'i peaceful Ufa. His was filled with despair uantterable at ha ogni. . .t courersation must nave with Mian HirM- Tk possibility of her sheddTa u.M mere a suuuoer run through his frame. He could not make up hU mind to apeak to her. and day after day passed, until it lacked only two weeks of the time when the aeminary was to open. Then at last be spoke. He eame into th sitting room, where he sat darning his socks by the light of a student lamp, the girls having gone to bed, She looked up in aur-pt-tse as be entered, for he seldom toft his study until midnight: but not the faintest intuition had she of the blow which was to fall upon her. "Miss Piper." oegan the poor man. feeling profoundly wretched. "I-I have decided to make a efasnge.M "A changer The sock Mlsa Plow was darning fell from her hand. She began to tremble, aad her face turned deadly pale. "Yes. Miss Anastasia thinks-and of course 1-it is all for the best you know Flora and Annie ought to go to ehool,' faltered the minister. "And you wish to give me notice, I suppose, Mir," said the little governess, in a tremulous, aggrieved tone, thai stabbed Mr. Brown to the heart. "When do you wish me to leave. sirP" looking at him with a quivering smile. "Oh, any time; suit yourself your own convenience," stammered Mr. Brown. " Do you want me to iret the s-irla ready, sir?" she asked, trviny to soeak cheerfully. "it you will be so srood." he an swered. Her ouiet resignation made him utterly wretched. He would rather have seen her hysterical or indignant inuuaaiiu iimes over. "I will see to it sir." And he then left the room, faal'nalike a criminal. But as he reached the study, he happened to think that Flora and Annie were vet to be told of the impending change. He wonld go back and ask the little governess to tell them for htm, for he was sure of open rebellion. - He pushed open the door of tbe sitting-room again, but started baol: conscience stricken, for Miss Piper, with her face buried in her true, was kneeling by the sofa, while a melancholy sound of sobbing and crying, pitiful to hear, tilled the room. "My dear Miss Piper," he said, for lornly, I am so sorry " She started up,- and tried to wipe away her tears with the sock which she still held. "Excuse me, sir," she faltered, "I I couldn't help it I am jo fond of the girls, you know, aad I'd begun to feel so much at home here." Mr. Brown walked up and down the room, with his hands clapped behind him and his head on his breast, for several moments without speaking. The sobs in the poor little woman's voice struck him to tbe heart He was turning her out of her only home. And she hail done her duty toward the girls, certainly. t "Suppose you stay here. Miss Piper," he said, suddenly. "You can keep house for me, anyhow." A deep Hush dyed the pale face of the lHUe governess. "Oh no, I couldn't, indeed," she cried, in a horror-stricken tone, "It would be impossible." " You might stay as my wife. Miss Piper," cried poor Mr. Brown, desperately. 1 "Oh, Mr. Brown, you don't mean it! You're just sorry for me, I'm sure," ened Miss Piper, the thought flashing through her mind, however, that er haps it was love, and not pity, after all, and be had only juit discovered the state of his heart as he was about to lose her. She had read of such things ia novels. Why should it not be to In her ease as Well? "I-I-dou't know-it is the only way you can stay," stammered Mr. Brown, in a confused manner. "Well, if you think it best," murmured the blushing little governess. Tan sure I'll try to make you happy." "I don't doubt that' said Mr. Brown. n And thus it was that the minister's second marriage eame about 1 need hardh say that Mke Anastasia was furious. No words could adequate-, Ir describe her surprise and chagrin. The very course she had taken with a view to installing herself in the parsonage had installed Miss Piper there. All her plans had come to naught Her castles in the air bad fallen to tbe ground with a crash, tier visits to the parsonage ceased entirely. She no longer considered it necessary to ad- ! The minister never found cause to re gret his second marriage. The little governess proved a devoted, dutiful wife ami a faithful step-mother, and she never dreamed oa what a slender thread her happiness had hung, nor eould imagine why it was that Miss Anastasia Bowen treated iter as a mortal enemy. DiMtC Monthly. ""a-ienaaaaaeaenm The Canker Worm. This destroyer of the foliage of the apple tree appears tb be constantly spreading in various portions of the Western States. It has largely extended in some parts of the East, while in others its progress has. been promptly checked. It seems remarkable that the owners of farms, who will employ very prompt means to turn marauding cattle out of their wheat and corn fle'.ds, will look on and do nothing to rid orchards of this equal destroyer, which may be easily and readily extirpated by spraying early ia the season with Paris greeu. Fo? large orchards, fill with water and with a seven-hundredth of its part of Farm Eien, or with its equivalent with Lonn purple, one of the wagon tanks used by steam thrashers, and drive through the orchard and shower the trees with a forcinc tmtnn. A nound of Paris rreen will treat an sore: and with these appliances fifteen acres may be gone over in a day. For smaller orchards barrels will do. We have known whole neighborhoods thoroughly cleared of the cankiir worm in this way, where it had before infested thousands of trees, litis remedy seems to require many repetitions before all owners are wiuMsf ie apply it. tnsmwy

HOW OJtOWM. Fouryeaws ago I was aWskaf to IsW turf at Atlantie City, gajtbjf up into the ky and thinking only of its hsaatlas. when Seeling somewhat tired I aaisyeol to stand up, but failed for the very excellent mason that I had nothing to stand on. I bad, without nottafng it, floated out beyond my depth. I am a very iadiftereat swimmer and make it n rule not -to venture Into the water where I can not secure a foothold whan I need one. Yet I found myself, not through any foolish venturesotnenssa, beyond the furtnest line of bathers. Of eourse I immediately truck oat for shore. After swimming until I felt thoroughly exhausted f found that I bad made very little progress, and I ftlso discovered that the bottom of the ocean was too far beneath me to be of any practical benefit as a basis of traveling. Now what would yon do under oeh eirourastanoesP Shout for help, you say: Exactly! That I suppose, ia what any well-conditioned sensible human being would do, and yet I found myself actually ashamed to do it I was positively morally weak enough to permit a consideration of what my fellow man would think of me to overpower the natural sense of self-preservation. I fancied that I might be laughed at for erying out for assistance before I was actually sinking beneath tbe waves, and so I struggled on until a sudden convulsive twitching in the calf of my left leg told me that I bad a cramp. Then I shouted "Help" quite lustily and shouted thrice. .Nobody heard me and nobody paid any attention to ne. Thanks to my good forttine, hosvever, I remained perfectly cool, else 1 would not be talking to you now, I was able to recognise on the shore the faces of people I knew, and. although I experienced no sense of fear, I felt fully satisfied thai I would never see them again. Now, by all recognised rules and regulations, in such cases made and provided, the events of my entire life should have passed before me in instantaneous review. I'll guarantee that you never read a novel but what, when tbe hero or villain is sinking beneath the wares, he thinks, with lightninglike rapidity, of every aot in his career. "And as Reginald felt tbe cruel waters dosing abovo him, all the deeds of his life, both good and bad, passed before hum as though a panorama was being moved by some masric hand." That is the way it generally reads, you know, and that is what should have happened to me. But 1 am . iconoclastic and cruel enough to say that I had no such experience. I found that my mind was absorbed with but one thought to the exclusion of all other sensations. I thought of absolutely nothing but of getting ashore just as soon as possible. After my first unheeded cries for help I again felt ashamed to call again, but made another effort at swimming. In my cramped condition I found this fruitless, and so I again cried out for assistanoe, but kept perfectly still in 1 the water while I did it Had I struggled I would have lost breath, and with it my life. My last shout was aru, i saw a suaoen excitement on the beach. I saw men point their arms toward me. 1 saw others run into the the water. I saw a man bringing i coil of rope. I could identify the imli vhluals who were doing these things. watched them coming toward me and simply endeavored to keep .as quiet as poseioic. in tnia way i managed to keep afloat until tbey got to me and dragged me to shore. Wii at Ijwish to demonstrate is that the verv poorest swimmer among you is perfectly safe in the water if he only aeens cooi ana does not struggle wfeen nothing is to be gained by such efforts. -nUiadtlpkiM Newt BAD FOR THE APPETITE. The rre4t mi Tw OwMtrr bjr a Poaa I'rlMt Oraba. '1 haven't got but fifteen cents. Want can I get the most of for that amount of ntoney?" inquired a somewhat seedy-looking man of a waiter in a cafe. "Pork and beans," replied the youth of white aprons and dude hair. "He'd better try soft-shell ernes," said McGough in an aside to a reporter who was liquidating, in a two-fold sense, for n lunch. "There's nothing like soft-shell crabs for sausfvimr a ritTi-3,?r. tu.dti,r. ofS" Moulhfttl man's hunger. I've seen men lose their "And thereby bangs a tale?" said the reporter, inquiringly. "You might to have been in here and seen it, and you'd a-died n-langfaing. 1 can't half tell it to you, but ni do the best I eat," responded MoGough. "It was the week of the races. A couple of young fellows came in here, sat down at tbe table over there in tbe comer, and as tbe waiters were all busy I went over to take their order. They were looking at the bill of fare and one of them said: " 'Jim, did you ever eat aay soft-shell crabs? " 'No,' aid the other; 'what ate they?' " 'I dunno. Let's try 'em.1 " 'All right' " Give us some soft-shell era,' aars the biggest fellow to me. " How many?1 says I. "He glanced at tbe other fellow, but didn't want to give himself away, so he spoke up promptly. "Auosen.' "I'd just received seme hig follows; and, upon my word, tbey eost me two dollars and ninety cents a doaen besides the express charges from Ktw York. 1 was selling them at forty cents apiece and making nothing off them at that I suppose I ought to have told them bow much their order would cost, but 'twas none of my butiness only to fill the order and get my pay for it 1 sised the fellows up and made up my mind that they had got the money. They looked like a couple of farmer boys, but didn't have much hay. seed in their hair and wore abu clothes. Anyway. I thotisrht I'd take my chances. But for a ton-dollar aota I wouldn't have carried those crabs over to tee table. I sent them by one of the keys and got behind the fee-hex, where I eeuW kngk and keen an eve on Lhasa.

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I frUSTtafs i hi front of those two nUowa. them! ful down hi front of their eyes feitiy bulged out They tared at the platter and then at eacn other, but didVt any a word. Then they looked around to see if sjrbody was watching then, hot I dodged bs ninn ins oox. " 'How mueh la the biltr biggest fellow to the waiter. HH' 4MLsa0tt tO tikMI nKMT AttCt ftankejeei far a check. I ought to have ekarred them four dollars, but I didn't stab them hard; sent them n cheek for three dollars and fifty cents. They stared at that harder than they had at the crabs, and they began to go down in their pockets. I guess it about cleaned them out, tor they eot down to nickels and pennies, but they paid like genuemen. " How many crabs did they eat " Not a crab! 1 was out there by the asked them to have? eteatV" 00" "We don't smoker iTeJretf JTm Prm, A RANK FRAUD. mt Alt MWhy, hello, Busby. What's matter? You don't seem to be getting along very weU. " No, I ant pretty wall done up. "What's the matter?" "Well, you know I wan keeping a railroad eating-house." " Yes, and I thought you warn making money." c " I was, but they have taken the privilege away from me." "Why did they do that?" "Well, you see, they appointed an eating-house inspector some time ago. His duty is to go over the line, like a detective, eat at all the places and rsEort the poor ones. The eating-house sepers had no means of knowing when the inspector was coming or of Identifying him when he did arrive. WeU, a week or so ago, shortly after a train load of people had sat down to my tables, I beard one man, speaking in an undertone, ask bis companion: How do you like your position as eatinghouse' inspector?' That was enough for me. 1 approached the two gentlemen and asked them to sit over at another table. They did so and I fed them on tbe fat of the land. I gave them wine gave them the best of everything. Well, tbe next day my bill of fare was very naturally cut down. For a time I could afford to let the guests take their chances. One day, during the drought, an old fellow came along. He turned up his nose at everything. Finally I told him that if ha didn't like my house he could get out He went out and tbe conductor onme to me and said: 'I intended to tell you that the old fellow who just went out is tbe eatiag-house inspector, but I forgot it' " 'You must be mistaken. The eat ing-house inspector pessed here several days ago. I believe you were here at the time.' " 'Whom do you mean? One of those fellows that sat over there? noiatinsr to a small table. 'Those fellows that or dered so much wine?' " 'Yes. Wasn't one ef them no inspector?' " Well. no. They keep a rawhide house about fifty miles from here.' "I rushed out after the genuine inspector. I found him eating lunch with an immigrant I asked him if he would not come in and get something. He replied that it would be easy enough to Sin, but believed that getting someng to eat was impossible. 1 told him that It would afford me great pleasure to give him the best meal he ever saw, but be took up a fat piece of tbe immigrant's pork, bit out a piece and replied. 3o. I believe not I never could stand tasting. ' "Well, that settled me. The next day I received notification to vacate tbe house. I hate to be imoosed on. aad I think that the eating-house iuepoetmf system is a rank and poisonous Iran. jLrkoHw Trnesler. A POPULAR DRUMMER. Tbe Of at Feats eT eur4Nfcwe) Travslmg Man. "Greatest men to jump into a town and ret acquainted with folks I saw, dap Johnson was," said a travel, tog man. "Give Jap a night and a des iaaoountry place and everybody there would call asm by his first name, and he'd call everybody the same way, even the girls. In forty-eight hours he'd know every man,. woman, child, home. dog and ear in the town and eould tell who married who. who got drunk one to awhile, and who had fits or rheumatics. Give him three days in a town and he'd bave every bit of the gossip and old musty scandals that ever went over the back fences of that town down nner'n silk. He was a wonderful man. Jp was, and he could sell goods Uke a house a-flre. "The blreest thinr he aver did. though, was 'bout four rears as-o. He had four hours to sound in a little town out in Western Iowa. In that time be old two bills of goods, was invited to dinner by the Mayor, decided four bets, Was referee in n dog fight, proposed Marriage and was accepted by the belle of the place, borrowed five dollars front her pa, beat another man two games of billiards, and, it happening to bo election day. he canoed the mansard be ailing in and baring himself elected mmu oj n majority of eleven, votes. " Cftsestoo Jfermtt Morgenstern, whtoh, translated from the German means moraine; star, is a very common Israelitwh name. Most Rchaumburg junior to aware of tnia fact, and so one evening be pointed to the planet Venus, and asked nit father it it wae the evening stee. "Yea, mine son.'p Van he Chew?" "Vat for nek dot?' "Pecause I know dose morning stem vas Chews, so I ohoost wanted to know of dot evening star vas." "Moses, goes yen to dot house ha peters I makes yon; see mere store den Jon Van"Tswf JrMnf,

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THE GIRLS

OF MCW YOftfC

sM MsuAs I eeetra to say one ward In ibis ef New York, krs i I mat while there. We dM Btmortuuitr to become nmrougWy i sa, but I met a Jarew number of them eaaI need to got out anrty and of Mew York neon the lum to strotim the narta imd yearn to ride oa Jhe elevated railway, thai tbey may see what the people who live hi lbs seeaad stories of New York have mt supper; but I think that to atom the asmeife tide of yeang and beautiful atria in Osmam at certainly ae pleasant a onty as the or can nsrform. The girls of New York, whether m tbe warm, tailor-nttloar garments of wluetant spring, or tbe cool toggery of the heated sumroer-Ume, have a habit of me tag down the crowded street with their eyes Ixsd on some object two hundred and Mb miles ahead, and Jostling the giiifliann from the Far West in a way that stakes him almost giad be came. Of course, now aad than, m the never-ending hurry and rush aad bustle, yon meet a airi whose sym metry of form has been mislaid, er whose are well oaleulated to stee a stesac bat if you are on your guard you tan evade nerana catch me dimpled elbow of her. successor In your vest pocket l do not yearn for the wealth or the sewar-gaa of the great metropolis, bet I eften wish that I eould ship across the intervening miles, and once more be Joeaei by those young ladies with whom I have had tbe pleasure of meeting casually. l her have no doubt for gotten me tone ere Mils. Living, as they do, in a iaracand booming town like New York, it wonM net be surprising if they had ceased to lememoer my thoughtful face. Meeting new peo ple, as they do day after day, it would net be surprising If they bave forgotten one who never will forget them watte reason, continues on her throne. Olris of New York, we may never meet again, or at least hot as much as we have. we may never meet with so mueh exaresston and velocity as we have, but renumber that you bave made an Impression oa the subscriber whieh time can not erase. Never have I been knocked over and walked on by those who impressed me more with their aeaetne worth and their parasols, their earnestness and tbetr chubby elbows. lou, oc eourse, wui soon lot-get bet 1 will never forget lam not of a forgetting UOSfMOB I got so that I eould steer elect of tb girl with a wart on her nose in time to have tbe breath knocked out of me by one whose brirht smile haunts me still. After I get so that I eould do mat seeeessfulty, I dM not care for the other features of New York. I would eat a hurried breakfast and dash away to where I eould be Jostled. It is more exciting than lawn-teas is, and M is more congenial to my nature than tehee:ganbtg. The only conversation I had was with a young lady who ran into my outstietehed arms while her small wad ef hyerophe Ma wrapped his chain around us both tout or five times. Heretofore I have regarded the dog ae a nuisance, but I am now convinced that there are exceptions. Some decs are extremlv HNigaetous. I do not remember now just what out eonversatioa was, but it was brief, aad out remarks were quite common place. I only know that though I tried over and over again to and another sagsetous dog led by a whnome young lady in good clothes, I did net succeed in doing so. Manveeae msunet, out very lew oc i Massed with great mental powers. that the young lady alluded to, in ease this should come under her eyes, will try to overlook the past and remember that I har bor no feeling of antipathy toward her ttog. Perhaps, had It not been for him, we wight never have been thrown together. I wish to say to her that I am weH and hope these few lines will And her enjeyhsg the same great Messing. The lumpen my brow which she erected with the hub of hoc parasol grew quite large, and the next moaning I did not know whether it be best to wear my bat on the bead or the lamp, but It has subsided newlump, 1 mean and I hope the young ledf nud the cute little dog are welt Jf. T, Thrag Traatmaats. M0h, yes," saM Mrs. Porcine, "I have mj m 1 1 OJOWjfti 4a4ftifl tataa aaMVAJka.a.aaA-AftA.A uaa at J 1 tnea me sweotsn movement ears, ana x find k exeohent It's to stir up the eirtala tion, and that sort of shakes yen up an over. There's no other treatment begias to be as thorough in this direction." " What's the matter with a shlngier hv quired Tommy, gloomily. "Or a slltmerr echoed BiUto. Then a painful silence fell on the Wags, Th immbm. A IMsgeated Katie. An Kngllsh nobleman hi Mancrs moved to Western Texas. Not hmg hum the English exile, mtsttng Colonel hi B. Andrews, Tke-Ptosidsnt of the unset Itollroad, said: "His a blawsted kentry. ye knew. Pnt ping 'ante to hold England." 'What's the matter with the country!11 "Why, hlfs beastly. If a man esnH work he don't get anything to est,' ye knew CjuaAyu naa tnea nunaner rtwM ware mmi ft hnaw.!

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