Jasper Weekly Courier, Volume 28, Number 3, Jasper, Dubois County, 23 October 1885 — Page 3

WEKKTJ COURIER. C. IJOANM. I'ubllMhwr.

INDIANA 1AILINQ. A Maiatrboat A tMHKit SO SWt, A jhk h nmU Ami i tliMNtwtly fa KmvH HtMi nj That hy hHrf hy I'm kwt wmitliflly. TheNse wtm'l ire Hr Utmut Iwhi row, Uhh4 Hmtr mlee, A toueh tllvlw Tfcw M, eM try. Willi won the knot Tk llae rMi A Happy lwverl Tm sky stows red, Ah4 eVtHHol Tke mm-hlrtls hover. The Hiinllght Cmles Ij 'b dim xhmles, Who hwMls thu hour When beauty' Hiwer With love U hlemlwl c .T years have kohs; 'WsftniMitOR Through life tOKOther: And ultle hy IUt, TllllfHtllIIVll, All BtoriHM we'll weather. The shailowH Kray Ot t crows I 10 way To life Immortal; HhcIi KrowH tiioru ilwr Ah wiMlmw umr The gohltMi iiortHl. Sim rrfiwl) Xey tAUr, ON HIS TRACK. Chance Discovery Which to Important Results. Led over twenty yoars ago. said Mr. Whitmire, a duteetive.with whom I recently li ail hu interview, I was on the police forou of New York. One summer night a few minuter past twulvo I was pacing my Ixsat in a quiet part of C .street, when :v mnn called from a second .story window: " 1 say, sir, are you a policeman?" "Yes," I said. "What's the matter?" " I heard a heavy jar in Mr. liradloy's house, nw.t door, and ho may have fallen and hurt himself. l just came in a few minutes ago. If I were you I'd ring the boll." Mr. Bradley was a wealthy old bachelor who had lived entirely alone for years in an old-fashioned brick house. Mis riches were a subject for frequent gossip, and it wan said that in his house, to which no outsider wan ever admitted, he kept a lot of silverware and money. 1 rang the bell, but there was no response. "Are you sure you saw him go in?" 1 asked. "Yes, sure of it. He hadn't been in half a minute before I heard a heavy fall. I have heard nothing since." "There must be something: wrong," I said, after ringing the 1m;11 a t-eeond time and receiving no repon8o. I tried the door, but it was locked. "If i were you I would force tho door," suggested the man at the window. " I don't like to do that. Is thero any other entrance?" " Ye, that alley jtift beyond the steps loads to a back yard, but the gale lirohsihlr locki'd. in viU bm tlm r.. Midoor." "I will go and see." said I; and walking up the narrow alley I discovered by the dim light of the street-lamp nearly opposite that the gale was wide open. I looked in, and perceived that the rear door was also ojKsn, ami a faint light shone out. All was perfectly quiet I returned to tlie street and said to the uian: lhe irate ami back door are open. Come dOWH uid we'll go in." In half a minute he joined me on the sidewalk, when I recognized him, as an acquaintance named Henry Collin. "Ali, is that you? I didn't know you lived here,'1 l said. "Yes, and l didn't recognize you when I first adilro-sed you." 'Well, there may have been foul work here," said 1; "so we'll go in." We went into the yard and entered the house. The rear room had evidently becu .used for a kitchen; and guided by a dim light we passed into a narrow hall with a stairway. Near the street door was an old table, on which was a lighted candle that had burned to within nn inch of the candlestick. At the foot of the stairs lay Mr. Bradley, quite dead, and a frightful wound upon Ids head convinced me that he had been murdered, At my request Mr. Collins hurried away to the police station to notify the Captain, while I made an examination of the premises. A number of drawers in the second-story back room had been broken open and ransacked, ami on the floor lay half of a fresh looking newspaper. Knowing that the old bachelor we not in the habit of spending money for newspapers, it struck me that the roblwr might have had It in his tracked and probably used the other half to wrap up some of his plunder, leaving behind him, in his hurry, what might prove a most valuable olew. I therelore folded up the fragment and put it in. my pocket. A moment later Mr. Collins returned acoom panted by several officers and a surgeon. To make this part of thu story brief, X will state that the usual formalities followed, the body being handed over to the Coroner, and the case was put In the hands of detectives. I at first intended to give up the bit of newspaper 1 had picked up, but I had some ambition to lie a detective myself, ami eoneluded to keep it, at least a day or two, to see if I could find a olew from it. It was lucky I did. JtOn thu following afternoon, while off duty, and walking around in ordinary drees, I paused opposite a well-known hotel to watch some painters who were at work on a scaffold under the eaves, and my eyes hRppened"to light on a man who sat by a third-story window, apparently packing a valise. The winnow was oven, and, as he mHed seme

paper on which it had mm eeute Muttering down Into tho gutter nenr my foot

I might not hare noticed this trifling circumstance but for the manner in which Ike paper had been torn- that hi, not in a straight line, but almost iu the form of the Tetter V, as though it hail been done in a hurry. This corresponded with the piece I'd found in the murdered man's hoi we, and 1 snatched it up ami ran into hu alley to compare them. What a leap my heart gave when I discovered that the two mvu of the paper 'flUcd exactly there whs no doubt of it "On hlii track," I muttered. "Ho must not get oil with that valine. " 1 lei uk familiar with the hottri, I oroer the street, went in, and wa soon rapping on tlte door of room twenty-one, from wIiom window the per had just blown. "Come in," said a voice. I opened the door and reeognuted, still Heated by the window, the man I had seen packiuj; thu valise, a he hail completed. He was a muoulr man of forty, with a clean-shaven fttou that wore an oxpretudoii of craftiness. Ue seemed confused when I entered, and said: "Ah, I thought it was the porter. I (avert' t you made a mistake?" Without replying I deliberately locked the door and put the key In my pocket, while he stared amazodiy. "I see vou re trottinsr ready to leave." 1 remarked fcarcastioally. 'Yo' "(suppose vou stay in Isew lone a little longer," I said. "Why, what do you mean?" he ex claimed, risinir from his chair. " Oh, nothing of coiuoquonoe," I re plied, coolly. " J'erliaps you wouldn't onjeot to my taking a look into that valise, oh?' "Perhaps vou will dome the kind iioss to get out of mv room," ho re torted. He had taken the valise from the floor audi auicklv snatched it from him. I had hardly done so whon he dealt uie a blow near tho temple, aendinir me reeling across the room, wnore I oronght up against tho door. . v . ' .... lie then threw the valise on tliu oeu angrily exclaimed: and " Look here. sir. are you drunk or crazy? Now baud me that key and get out of mv room, or I'll throw you out of the window." " Not o fas,t," said I, drawing my revolver. "I am an ofiicer, and here to arrest you for the murder you com raittcd la4 night." He stnh'd a momont, thou a change came over his countenance, and ho sat down ami fairly roared with laughter. "Come, vou'oan't play that," said I. "This is no lauehine matter. Where are the mouev and silverware you took from Hradlev's house?" "Are vou really an oflieer?" ho asked, growing serious again. "Certainly I am. Perhaps you never saw this bit of paper, sir," saut I, uw nlaviusr the piece that had blown from tiie window. "My friend," 1m replied, "I admire lli KMriHwtiina with 'which vou iro about your buduoas as detective, hut vou have eot on the wrong track. I am s-orry 1 struck you In a moment of anger, and I hope you will pardon me. I am Charley M a lioston detective, of whom you have probably heard. I arrived at daylight this morning, and have been tnklng'a good sleep before attending to iome businusti iu Brooklyn. I registered nn J. Brown, for a reason you will readily comprehend. Here is my card, and here are some sliglit evidences of my occupation." Here lie took two pairs of handcuffs out of his pocket and jingled tbem In-fore ray astonished gaze, "By the way, if that is the piece of newspaper that fell from my window, and you think it has any connection with the affair you speak of, it will probably afford you an important olew. I found it here, where it wjm probably left by a former lodger. I think you will find a name on the margin." 1 examined the margin over tho title of the paper, and to my astonishment found written in pencil the name and residence of Henry Collins. It was a weekly paper, which I observed was published in a oity he had formerly lived in, and its date was so recent that lie must have reoeived it on the day preceding the murder. I immediately took leave of Mr. M , saying I thought I knew where the paper had come from, and, begging his pardon for having been so rude to him, I hastened down to the office of the hotel, where I examined the register, finding tho name of J. Brown, with room 21 amigned. 1 knew the clerk, and I inquired: "When did Mr. Brown take room 21?" "Karly this morning, when I was not on dutyf" "Did any one occupy the room during the evening." "No yes let me see," he replied, glancing over the register "here is the name of Harvey Klton. I remember now. He was without baggage and paid for the room in advance, saying he wanted to be called at three o'clock. The iH)rter went up at that hour, but the door was 0en and the bed had not been slept in. The other clerk told me he gave the same room to Mr. Brown because he wanted a front room." "Do you remember the appearance of Klton?" "Yes rather small man, with a very full black beard." Henry Collins was a small mnn, but had no beard. Of course, my suspicions were Hxed on him as soon as I discovered his name on the margin of the newspaper, yet I never dreamod that he was capable of committing crime. My mind underwent a aeries of rapid changes. One moment I regarded it as almost certain that Henry Collins had something to do with the murder; the next moment I would say to myself it is preposterous; he is no such man. There are many ways by which this paper might have got into other hand, lie may. have lent it to Bradley; or it may have fallen from his window; or he may have lost it from his pocket Why should he have called my attention to Bradley's house? Besides, he has no beard. On the subject of this board, it did not first occur to me that he might have worn a false one, bnt it did Mnally, and I Maimed, very soon afterward, what 1

now regarded aj a very uayiutotw ob onwst amw

It was about midnight that Hoary Collin- told me that Mr. Bradley had been in but a very few minutes. I now remembered that the body was cold ami rigid when I Hmt won in, and I hasteuod away to meet Ue surgeon who fotd made tm examination five mIhuUm later. I had the luuk to find him soon, and in renlv to mv inoulry be stated that Bradley must have been dead two hour when hu was called. 'Have tho dotooMves found aay clew?" h asked. - "Not that I am aware of." I replied, and took my leave. Mv lirt stun now was to tto to an otablitii:neiit in which Collins was em ployed and inquire for him. I did so, ami was told that he had asked and ob tained leave of abuoe to vhrft Trenton. 1 next started for his house, which wad half a mile distant, carofully looking up and down every street 1 eroagou. 1 bau mauo half the instance when I caught a glimpe of tlte very man I was lookingfor. lie was coming toward me on one ol the cross ctrcets, showing that ho had coma directly from his house. He car ried a valise, and by his slue wauceu a small, rough-looking man whom I did IlOt KIJUW, HIKI Willi WHOM urn WM VUBversinjf earnestly. went a few steps to moot them, and was wKlifat a few yards of them before Collins saw nie. "All, how are you, Mr. Collins," 1 said. mo seemed to regain his composure ami answored my salutation. lie would hiive7ttssed on, but I dotained him by passing in front of him and opening a conversation. "Going traveling," said L "Yo(; to New Ilaven." "Wouldn't it Imj just as well to go to Trenton?" I asked, significantly. He turned pale, and in a voice that quivered perceptibly said: "Great Heaven. Mr. Whitmire, what do vou mean now?" "I menn that you and your friend must go to the station with me." With a look ot dospair on his white face that 1 shall never forget, lie dropped his valise and staggered a few stow to an awning post, which he held to for .suiiport At thesame mo niont his companion turned to dart away, but, luckily, two men, who had just stopped on the side walk to talk, stood directlv in his path. and his movements became confused. 1 reached him in one bound and seized him bv the collar, warning him not to resist, He was thoroughly cowed, while Collins had too little strength left him to escape. In five minutes I rn arched them intc the station, together with Uie valise, and had them locked up in separate cells. I then told tho Captain the whole story. He was disposed to think, at first, that I had made a blunder; but on questioning thu two prisouers, and especially on examining the valise au lindiug a large sum of money in it he concluded that I had caught the right men, and so distanced the regular ue te dives. 1 1 nrnnul in Its art ami ilia turn Til An were duly convicted ot murder on evidence that was beyond dispute. In deed, when Uollins lost all hope ot es caping the gallows, he was so broken down that he made a full confession, giving substantially the following account of tho crimo: The stories of Bradley's great wealth had first put it into his head to rob him. By. watching for a long time from a back window he had discovered the naturo of the fastenings by which the back door and gate were secured. He was not bold enough to undertake the task nlnnc, but he knew a certain bad character named Kevern, to whom he confided his scheme, describing the fasten hies on Bradley's gate and door and asking him if he thought he could force them. Kevern said ho could, and readily entered into the plot They went to work a little after dark one night whon they knew that Bradley had gone out; but the fastenings of thu rear door resisted much longer than they had exacted? and they had but fairly succeeded la entering when liradley came in at the front door, locked it and lighted his candle. Dotermhied not to 'be foiled now, they rushed upon the old man and struck him down with the tools they had been using. This, it seems, was between nine and ten o'olock. They then ransacked the house, finding considerable money, ohietly in bank notes. The latter were In a disordered condition, and to make a compact bundle of tliBtn, Collins hastily 'ore in two the fatal newspaper, which he chanced to have in his pocket, using one-half to wrap his spoils in, and lu his haste leaving the other on the floor. In order to examine their plunder tat leisure they went to the hotel alluded to, where one of them engaged a room to which he repaired, and in which he was soon joined by the other. Both of, tliem were disguised, a portion of Collins' being a false beard. Collins felt so nervous over the awful affair that night that he would not take any of the plunder home with him, and so, after comb ting, the money, he intrusted it to Kevern for the night, with the understanding that they should, meet next day, take a trip to New Haven, and there deposit his 'share in the bank in his own name, or any nam he might wish to nomine. When Kevern made a package of too money again he pfeked up fragment of another newspaer he found in the room, leaving that bearing Collins1 name lying upon lhe floor. It' was shortly 'after Collins' return tame that night that he called my attention to poor Bradley's house, foolkhly thinking that by so doing he would not come within the range of suspicion. Collins died of pure teVror Wore the. day appointed for his execution, but Kevern paid the extreme penalty of the 2 AW It was in this case which I worked upon my own aocount and in whieh J was largely assisted by mere ehanoe, that gave me a place on the detective force, and I have been pretty successful everfdnoe. Many a man has worked harder and displayed more sagacity than 1 did on that occasion without accomplishing so groat an end. CfttofS

OARPtNO OftlTIOItMi.

eeeMok ee Jo4jn rtmw mt thm Ami tt t A4wltot H The fierce light of publicity which heata upon this Administration and invites oritieism and discussion of every movement aud appointment to office is thoroughly appreciated by the President and his Cabinet They know that they are the objects of uaoeasing scrutiny and discussion, and that their words, motives lad actions are weighed and examined with a eloMmess of attention such as never has been applied before to an Administration, Over six mouths have passed since they were called upon to take charge of the Government and during that time they hare accomplished a vast deal of work, and a fair opportunity has been afforded of judging them. The yerdict of tlte country has I teen eminently favorable, and Mr. Cleveland and his official family have wrung praise from even their political opponents. The President has declared more than once that ho is pleased, rather than annoyed, at the close watch kept on his Administration, for, honest aud high-minded in his purpose to give the people the good Government they expected from him, ho does not fear honest criticism. But there is a el ass of grumblers in both parties who are inclined to take a distorted view of everything done by this Administration. Some labor under the delusion that oftioos under the Government belong to lieuublicans by a specie of divine right, when the Administration is Democratic, and that Civil-Servioe re? form should m construed so as to liar all Democrats from office. They raise a howl when a Democrat is appointed to a position, and endeavor to give the impression that, being a Democrat, ho is unfit to hold oflioe under the Government. If his Republican predecessor should happen to have "held the position for many years, these carping critics think that he is entitled to it for the balance of his life, whether he be competent, faithful aud In accord with the Government or not The Administration has given abundant evidence of its desire to deal justly and honorably with servants in office, and has, at times, incurred the adverse criticism of members of its own partr, In carrying out its admirable policy in reference to the public service. But no reasonable or fair-minded person oan expect it to submit to be saddled with worthless or hostile agents in the work of refortn. The carping critios we have alluded to are too much in the habit of jumping at nonclusious when a removal or appointment Is made without taking the trouble to inquire into the merits of thu case. The President is not one to act precipitately or contrary to the principles he so fearlessly advocates, and while "lighting the bad clement in both parties," he is honestly endeavoring to secure the best and most efficient men for public oflioe. When a removal is made, in some instances, a storm is raised by these critics because the person removed has filled the position for twelve or lifteen years and has been cenerally regarded as an efficient offi cial. They never stop to inquire what dereliction of duty and, perhaps, mal feasance in office may have taken place and have been concealed until the im partial test of reform has beeu applied. In manv cases the very length of offi cial life has caused a Government officer to become more lax in his duties and more inclined to make a pernicious use of his opportunities and position. Having enjoved immunity so long under Republican rule, he appears to think that a Domocratio Administration should be equally lenient Reform he considers necessary, perhaps, for newcomers in office, but not for an old stager, like himself, who has been so long in the Government service that he has some sort of lien on it There Is no one more willing to listen te honest, sincere criticism than President Cleveland. He can afford to look down upon those who are forever barking at his heels because their own insignificant influence is not regarded, and on those who are ever prepared to condemn before they have an opportunity of judging of a question. The recent history of affairs in the New York Custom House abounds in oases of carping criticism. The Administration has no small amount of labor to purge that institution of the evils which years of misrule and corruption gathered there, and removals and appointments have been made witli the one object in view, the purification of the public service. -The Republican officials in the New York Custom House have had a long lease of power, and how they used it the oppressed and swindled merchants of the metropolis can tell. Every change there is a decided im provement, as it would he m any of thieves. Albany Argu. A POLITICAL LIE. Mir Miller's MtHt That ths XIHiMtcMM FTr Civil -Servta Reform CMtrery te M kvtnrjr. Mr. Warren Miller is the senior United States Senator from New York, and, although it would be a somewhat exaggerated statement to allege that he is the leader of the Republicans of that State, it is not going beyond bounds to say that he is certainly as influential as aay of his brethren. In taking the chair at Saratoga as the temporary presiding eftioer of the Republican State Convention, he made a few remarks suitable to the occasion, in the course of which he uttered the following sentiment: "When we turned over to the opposition the civil service of the Government, no better eivil service existed under the sun." The New York Republicans, and, for that matter, all Republicans, now that they are out of power, find no difficulty In resolving in State conventions in favor of Clvil-Seryme reform. To this eauee they have not the slightest objection to pledging their lives, their forttunes and their sacred honor. The resolutions look well on paper, sound well when vowed by experienced reading secretaries, and do no harm, because they mean nothing so long as the Democrats have the reins of government But if any one has any curiosity to know just the sort of, civil service Republicans approve, precisely the kind tkev would set in motion had they the rsspoMieUity, nU that k ainisarj t

swisto fre to the full extent Mo moaning the quoted utteraaoss of Senator MtiW. He speaks not akwe for himself, not only for the Kepublioans of New York, but' for the party throughout the country. When Mr. Cleveland was inaugurated no better civil service existed . ..ri.. . f

ttorutesun," aoeorumg w una -nt authority. What that eivil service was we all know. The Federal omoeholders were organiasd into a vast political machine which sought first to control the Republican party and then the country. Under the prevailing abuses it was as muck a political offense to be a Republican, if opposed t the ruling clique, as it was to be s Democrat no one of either stripe being allowed to hold office if it were poseibW to prevent it These officeholders also wore required to pay to party committees fixed percentages, apportioned according to thdr salaries, to defray the expenses oi political oampaigns, and were comlulled always to vote as the bosses of the ruling faction dictated, and tomaks political speeches, if they could, and ds such other work as was demanded, undei pain of dismissal. Their enforced vote and contributions turned the scale in 1880, when their aid was so valuable that ven General Garfield asked how the departments were doing, and mad the contest so close in 1876 as to invite the fraudjwhioh was perpetrated. Th civil service which the Republicans conducted, which was in existence, accord ing to Senator Miller, "when we turned it over to the opposition." and than which "no better civil service existed under the sun." was the spoils system, pure, simple and tinauuuemieu, unuer whloh the country revolted and from . m ..I .1 - which it is to be hoped we are now free for pood and all. There is considerable diBcrenoe oi -1T7 ..... i on in ion amousr uemoerais as 10 in . a -WW 1 . A. A. 1 eiHcaov of the present Civil-Service statutes and the ability oi me men who are charged with their execution, but there is none as to the merits of the . ... . . . . . m . 1 . civil service as it existed prior to March 4. 1885. Democrats are as much op posed to the whole system as Warner Miller and his Republican friends favor it Xhere is no trottDie aooui arawing the line and framing an issue right here. WaikmglOH von. North and South. As every unprejudiced observer is aware, the manner in wnicu oenerat Grant's sentiments of good-will were received and reciprocated in the South signifies much more than personal sym pathy with a brave, chivalric and suffering foe. The South believes no longer in slavery, no longer m secession. Some ex-rebels said not long ago: "We are glad we were whipped, and we are in to stay: flow let us see Massachusetts trv to set out of the Union!" One of the leading men of the South lately told, in private conversation, a significant incideut He was compla'ning, he said, to one of the officials of his own State that the official salaries given were not large enough to attract ambitious young men powerfully and nermanentlv to the State Government; that their bright youths would be looking rather to the General Government for a career, and would perhaps thereby lose the feeling of superior loyalty to their own individual state, "wen. why not?" was the official's reply. "We have given up all that idea: why should we want to. cultivate State rather than National loyalty?" This incident and similar ones rive color of reason to .i , i i - . li ineiueory.neiuny oneoi uieioei.puuiiuspirited of Northern Republicans, that the turning of the intense Southern lovaltv of patriotism from the various State Governments to the National Government and fla may yet make the South the most enthusiastically loyal section of the whole country. t'e?iry . The President's Kindness. The'Washingtoa correspondent of the Philadelphia Jlecord says: "A statesman of the old sohoel, speaking of 'his first visit to the President said the other day: 'While I awaited my turn in the library I observed very carefully his reception of those who preceded me. I saw that he received Senators, Representatives and other politicians with great reserve. He stood very straight. He held his head high. I said to mvself: 'I am afraid he is too un bend! nr. I am afraid he won ft do.1 But presently the President spied a lit tle girl poorly elad over m one corner oi tne room, and as soon as ne saw nor timidly steading there he left the great politicians, and eseeting over to her, asked her what one desired. He listened to her story as courteously as though she had been the highest lady in the land, and then answered her in the gentlest manner possible. Having done so, he conducted her to the door with as much respect J as he could have shown to any one. And then I sahl to mvself: 'You are mistaken. He can unbend, and he will do.' Other men and women have found out that the President has a rery tender sympathy for the needy and the helpless as well as a stern indignation for all mrms of falsehood and hypocrisy." m m "Suffering" Negroes. 4 . . An interesting incident illustrative of the feeling of the whites for their former slaves, is furnished in Atlanta The Constitution of that city says: "On the premises of Senator Brown lives an Invalid female servant whose health failed while she was in the service of his family. She require the daily treatment of a physician, who is paid by the Senator to attend her. It is necessary for her to aro to the doctor s omoe every d ay. Regularly every morning Senator Brown's carriage drives to the door of the cottage which is allotted to the in valid negro woman. She is assisted into it by the Senator's coachmen and hi driven to see the doctor. In front of his office the carriage waits until the daily consultation is concluded, and then the woman is carried home. The 'suffering' of the negroes in the South has never yet been adequately portrayed." ... j m sr i Mrs. George Dawson Coleman, a Lebanon, Pa., owns a peftrak painted on a cobweb. The ootors are neauufully laid on and simply nerJeat as to H lUTVKHMl V s v 1ml oMhA o9

THE VALUC OF OAS.

Meet-Mtmte sfee. A Detroit res! toll aem doing a little ealeulating, sad meresMtt hi of vivid interest to all who bare to sell or want to buy. In sell In a vaeant lot be makes use of the feikiwlHg expMSions on an average of forty-eight mass: "One of the beet leceUens in me eRy perfect tMuiiutffe eau't kale but advawee In priee spietMlid neighbors all aroundbig yest bargain we ever offered," The following expressions are mwm mm ot forty-two times in selling a cottage; "Built It for his own hows everything fttvt-elass spa no expense slier dry as a bene sebooi-house two blocks away can't nod another such neignooruoM jm Detroit" Insetting a house and lot for Sl,9t me agent makes use of these expressions about thirty times: 'im want iis.oee, ouc win ine eie.ww to close out and get away. Can't fad such A TIP TO COUXTKYMKX. J I D Mr. Bunco Why, Jayhawk, hew art you? now is an uie ioiks? Countryman iy name isn i oay-aw, it's Smlthers, and I'm from Texas. a bargain great rush this way house as good as new neighborhood all you eouw ask for sell for f 15,000 in a year irom now." Wlien he has a S90.000 itouse to sell he shows the property to au average of twsnty-ty-two woukl-be purchasers, and te each and everyone lie repeats: It I wanted a Home i u can mis cneap for fi5,ooo. One of the finest oasewients see the size of the rooms observe the neighborhood note the finish beet sort of root large yard finest barn I ever sawproperty jumping right up can't do beBet tn all muoiUJjarott t rue rress. et m tlte mil. It was at a country hotel In Pennsyl vania, Tlie single stranger who sat down at dinner was amazed when the waits handed him a printed bill of fare whieh began with oyster soup and clam ehewdei and ran down to four kinds of pie ami choc olate Ice-cream. I'll take oyster soup," saw the guest. " Y-e-s, but we haven't got any," replied the waiter. "Very well, give me clam chowder." ' We are out of that too." "Then bring me baked whitensh, fried sausage, Saratcsca potatoes, Freoch wheat rolls, ribs of beef and a cup ot coffee." " We haven't got any, sir. All we've got Is beef-steak, b'lled 'taters and baker's bread and coffee." At tttat moment the landlord entered the room, and the guet called out: " See here, laudlord, what sort or a trie is this?" "What? Oil, that bill of fare. My deei sir, let me explain. My uncle kept a seaside Hotel, and he failed. He had thirty thousand bills of fare on hand, and I bought them at private sale for two dollars. These are hard times very hard and we must utilize everything and keep up style at the Mine time." A. 1'. Sun. A Sad, Odm, Indeed. Wilkins I see thst.BIo-WH has been sent to liloomiugdale Asylum. Fllklns Crazy, is be? Wilkins Yes. One of his eccentrteltles was a mania for exchanging umbrellas. Fllklns That's nothing. Lots oi teliows do that Wilkins Yes, but lie always left a better one than be took. Fllklns Poor devil I It's a sad esse, isn't It? The JfcjmWer Trwe Frle4ihlp. A New York policeman had a chum who a pickpocket One day tlie policeman noticed his chum picking tlie pocket of t itranger on the Uowery. "Look here, Rill," said the man In blue, ''some of those days a policeman will see Mr. Bunco Texas! Great Scott, that set tles It Countryman Well, I'll ne aumea. Judos. yon working that game, and then you will be looks up. e caret ai, out soy. iseee JSKttHfS. A Chip ef the OM WmIc, "How old are you, sonny?" 'Twelve years old, sir." ."You are very small for your age. What ts your name?" "Johnny Smith. My father is a baker on Austin avenue." "So your father is a baker. I might nave Koeeeed It by your else. You remind me one of his loaves." Taw iHfUtm. A Clear MplaUe. "How is It, Madgie, that you ate so pas skmately fond of ssrsspsrllla?" sahl a young man to his sweetheart, who had just entered the third bottle at a road-house on one of the boulevards. m . , .. "I don't like to tell you, Tommy, but If you must know, It's because H Pl so nicely, I guess." i '-' m i Ther were discussing plans keeping oafee way honH,-0'WefIsd-.

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