Jasper Weekly Courier, Volume 27, Number 50, Jasper, Dubois County, 2 October 1885 — Page 3

f VEEKLY COUIMElt

INDIANA. THE MOST READ BOOK. Of all the books the world can boast, The book men scrutinize the most Ik not or art, tuir Kietry, Not mwlluliie, nor ak'lieiny, Not MHiiiti, ami not eiiwic lorn. Not roimmee with lt legend store. Not travel o rr tlio iHiui or main, Not logic which will ruck the brain. Not live of heroes, (iihhII or Kttlit On bHttte-ell, in lialH of State, Not Ihw, nor yet theology Philosophy, nor hHtury -Thm may ixj Rpiiriuil without u look, llut all Hieu rend the imM'Imok! Thhi is the hook which mtwt men cravu, Would carry with them to the grave, Is all the hook they learn to read To hoiafort in tho tluui of nut; Tlit to their goo ami their law, Krowi which they consolation draw; They liave mo other creed than this To pretU'iit or eternal hllan; No OrHolo for them tllvinos Rut Mhwiiioii which thin hooK enshrines; It H to tliiun tho "hook divine," The "precious treasure, thou art mini'." Ih pocket-book there may pi To earth's estate a title clear, pear A pawpert to Kiyaiun noun Where nitsrlc wand some fairy wields, To height or bllrw and wata of Joy, To hupplneiii without alloy. It U a look which molt men prize. But who alone on this relies Wilt find that mind of men aspire. And aoiiI has afplratlotw higher Thau they can apprehend who look Never beyond the pocket-book, There they will Jeok In vain to find True HHtisfaciInn for the mind When under weight of win and grief, A soul from norrowa n-eks relief; For conscience here U found no peace, From Bin and guilt U no release. And though it lures to latent hreHth, No lairgaln can bo made with death. The Kcket-book who read It well Will hidden meanings strangely toll, For thee appear if ho Inclines To read tlte word. between the llneo, As orphaus' tears and widows' moan, The erk or want, and dying groans, The trick of trade, dishonest gain, With all their evali in their train; Or otherwise, and this may he, Uetween the line Is tkaritv; lite generous and noble deed. I.tke flowing of Immortal feed. Which lives In every gniteful thought. Ami is with Heavenly fragrance fraught. Tlienieanlng of tho pocket-book, I f you lut on the surface look. Is much the wwio In each and all; The deecr meaning you recall. And then appear the light and shade. And revelations strange aro made. 4 The "marks of trade" these twnfcs all boar, Hut many pocket-books there am Ih wtilch no content can bo found Iteueath tho lids in which they're Iwttud, A Hat as under weight of lead, Or'neath an elephantine tread; Awl empty, so that nought intrudes Mora than ldeaa In head of dude. Make not your library one look, tiive this but iui one little nook: put other volumes on your stand And have them ready at command. And learn true manhood is not wade Just of commercial Mock in trado, And you will Itnd man's highest need i tuir int iifu kft.tUxik tn read. -- J. B. Smith, D. D., in Boston Watchman AMONG LIARS A Charity That Is Novel In Conception and Noble in Aim. The Discriminating; IMillnnthrony or r.nrln .Irnki. a Vrnctlortl Man RHU M l'lillonoiilier Ameliorating tho Condition of the Mendacious. My Dkak Fiiirsi: You will no doubt bo glad to hear about the nowly-estab- . . ' Bahed iutirmarv at Lticvillc 1 visited it a few davs ago in company with Mr. Merkle, a Hoston lawyer, whom 1 happened to lucotjujton tho train. On the way down ho pave mo a most interesting account of tho endowment of this institution by tho Into Lorin Jenks, to whose discriminating philanthropy tho world owes tt charity that is not Jess novel in its conception than noble aud practical in its aim. Mr. Lorin Jenks, as you know, was President of the Saco Slocking and Sock mills. Ho was a bachelor, and a very rcmnrknlln -man, Ho made a million dollu.s one day by observing women as thev purchased hose in a cheap store in tremontrow. Mr. Jenks notiecd that females who hesitated a geod While about paying fifty cents a pair ior puuu a sww.ivii$, v,.Bv...j )tdd .saveuty-fivo cents for tho same quality ornamented with rod clocks at the ankles. It cost twenty-two cents a pair to manufacture the stocking. Tho " Ted filoselle for the clocks cost a quarter of a cent "That observation," said Mr. Merkle, "wiw tho foundation of .leaks' great fortune. Tho Saco mills immediately stopped making plain hosiery. From that time forth Monk manufactured nothine but stockings with red olooks, which ho retailed at sixty cents. I am told that there is not a woman under sixty-livo in Massachusetts Now Hampshire, Maine or Vermont who does not own at least half a dozen pairs of poor Jonks1 sixtv-cent rod dockers." "That fact," said I, "would interest Mr. Matthew Arnold. It shows that ' sweetness and light " Pardon mo. It shows that Jenks was a practical man, as well as a philosopher. Busy as ho was durinc his life, he took great interest in politics, llko all wmslblo citizens. He was also a metaphysician. Ho closely followed contemporary speculative thought, inclining, until shortly before his death, to the Hegelian school. Every midsummer hu left tho stocking mill to run itsolf, and repaired joyfully to Concord to listen to the lectures in tho apple orchard. It is mv private opinion that Moss. Tlnto. Ivant & Co. bled him pretty heavily for tho privilege. Hut acuoncoro; .Jonns acquircu, uuw uumo ' is to his duty to the race."

Air. Merkle puti.d to hand hU ticket

to the conductor. liuria; the last thn; years of hi life, inasmuch m he wiw known to bo eccentric, philanthropic, ami without a raniiiy, .juk was union imw ityponlo who sought to interest him in vari ous suhemtM for the amelioration of the human race. A week lxfor hu died ho sent for me. Merkle,' says he., ! want you tc draw mo a will so leathorly that no shark in Pemberton Square can bito H in two.' Well,' says I, vhat is it now, Jenks?' " I wish.' aavs lie. 'to dovoto ll)V entiro fortune to uio entlowment of an institution, tho idea of which occurrod to me at Concord.' 44 4 That's right,' said I, rather sharp ly. 4Put honest money mado in redcIock lio-c inuj tno uoncoru winunmt that's a lino iinal act for a summor phil osopher!' 'Wait a minute,' saiu .jonics, anu i fancied I saw a smile around tho cornorsof his mouth. 4It isn't tho Con cord school I want to endow, although I don't deny thero may bo certain oxnectations in and around tho orchard. Hut why spend money in teaching wis dom to the wisor Ami tnett no pro ceeded to unfold his noble plan for the foundation of an Iulirniary for tho Men dacious." Tho train was hauling up at the plat form of the Lwrvillo station. A few davs later," continued tho lawror, as wo arose from our soats, tli s far-seeiuer and tniblto-sinritcil cltl zon died By the tonus of his will, tho income of $l,u00,W0 in Governments, Massachusetts sixes, Hostou and Al bauv stosk, and sound first mortgages on iow Jnff anu property, is uevuw.-u to tho Infirmary, under tho direction ol thirteen trustees. How tho trust has boon administered von will sco for yourself in a few minutes." ... t ...... it. T W o were met at tno uoor oi mo xn iinuary by a pleasant-faced gentleman who spoke with a (jortnan ticcont, and . m it 4 f - . a. introduced nimseit as tno ivssiataui Superintendent. "Kxcuso me," said ho, politely, "but which of vou is tho patten t.'" Oh, neither." replied ftlerklo, with a buiLdi. "I am tho counsel for tho board, anu this gentleman is merely :t visitor who is interested in me woraings oi iu Institution." Ah. I see." saitl tho Assistant .Super intendent. "Will you kindly walk: tms way?" Wo entered tho oillce, anil ho handed mo a book and a pen. 44Plcase inscribe your name," said he, "in the Visitors' Hook." I did so, and then turned to speak to Merkle, but tho lawyer had disappeared. 'Uttr system, ' saitl tno .Assistant. Superintendent, 44 is very simple. The theory of tho Institution is that tho habit of mendacitj', which in many cases becomes chronic, is a moral disease, like habitual inebriety, and that it can generally be cured. Wo take the liar who voluntarily submits himself to our treatment, and for six months we submit him to tho forcing process. That i., we encourage him in lying, surround him with liars, his equals and superiors In skill, ami cram hint with falsehood until ho is fairly saturated. By this time tho reaction has set in, and tile patient is usually starved for tho truth. He is prepared to welcome tho second course of treatment. For tho I ..... 1...W i r.or- (Im ruitwwttrt llli'tllOll 14 " , -.rlll, ',, .Hsm,,!,,,! I IMUnUlUi Jt p liar is surrounded by truthful attendants, encouraged to peruse veracious literature, aud by force of lectures, example and moral influence brought to understand how much more creditable it is to sav tho thing which Is than the thing which is not. Then wo semi him back into the world; and l must say that cases of relapse are infrequent. s of relapse are infrequent." 44 Do you find no incurables.'" 1 asked. 44 Yes," said the Assistant Superintendent. 44 once in a while. But an in- ! curable liar is bettor oil here in the iniirmarv than outside, and it is better for thu'oktsido community to have him herc"V' . , . Somebody came in, bringing a new patient. After sending for the Superintendent, the Assistaut invited me to follow him. 44 1 will show you how our t(.itlenbt live, and how they amuse tltnmanlves " ho Said. "Wo Will go lira, if vou please, throusrh tho left wing, whero tho saturating process may be observed." lln led tho wav across a hall into a largo room, comfortably furnished and men, soiuo reading, somo writing, whdo nthnra sat or stood in croups engaged w Mniniated talk. Indued, had it uot hoeti fir tho iron bars at tho windows, I might have fancied myself in tho iMtmpfmr room of a respectable club. My guide stopped to speak to an inmato whO was listlossly turning tho leaves of a woll-thttmbetl copy of Baron Munchausen, anil loft mo standing near enough to ono of tho groups to over hear parts of the conversation. Mv roil creaked and bent double," a stout, red-faced gentleman was say tier. 'and tho blroh spun llko a tcoto turn. I toll you if Piorro Chaveau hadn't had tho present of mind to grip tho most convenient prtof my trousors with tho boat-hook, 1 should ltavo been drairgod into tho lako in two seconds Well. sir. wefoueht sixty-nine minutes by actual time taking, and whoa 1 lmil Mm in. ml hlid, Sot " m hunt tn tho hotel, ho tipped tho scalo, the specklod beauty did, at thirty-saycu pounds and olovou-slxtocnths, whether you believe it or not" "Nonsense," said a quiot llttlo .niihiiian who sat opposite. "That is mpossiblOi" The llrst speaker looked flattered at this, and coiorou witu pawuiw.

retorted, 4,lt's a fact, on my honor a a sport I'Umaa. Why do you say it's iMiinxMlhlef "Bocatwe," said the other, calmly, 4 it k an ascertained scientific fact, as ovry true fisherman in this room knows parloeuy well, mat mere nrn ao iroui, In Moowlemagtinticook weighing under half a hundred." . . "Cwtainly not," put in a third speakwr. 44 Tho lottom of the Jaka is a seiva a sort oi sciiwiohb siero junuation and all llh smaller than the mty wunders fall through." 44 Whv dowm't the water drop through, too?" asked tha stout patlwnt, in a triumphant lone. 44 It used to," repliod the quiet irentloman. srravolv. until tho Maine - " rr ..- i Uegisiaturo passou au ui pihimTlt" My guldo rojomeu ine, ami wo wuni on across tno room. - aiiusu purumon liars," he said, 44aro among the mildest and most easily cured cases that coma bore. Wo send them away in from six to nino weeks' time, with th.i habit broken tin. and pledged not to fish or hunt anv more, 'ilia man wno lies about tho fish ho has caught, or about tho intelligence of his red Better dog, is often in all other rospects a tnmtwortnv citizen, xet uch iwi form uoarly forty per cent of all our nalients." WJiat aro the most oostmaio .. . i . casos? 44 Undoubtedly tlioso which you win a in tho Travelers' and Politicians' 800 wards of tho Infirmary. Tho moro be nign cases, such as tho lishermen liars, tho society liars, the ladj'-killcr or bonnes fortunes liars, tho Boeky Mount ain and frontier liars (excepting lexas cases), tho railroad prospectus liars, tho psychical research liars and tho miscellaneous liars of various classes, wo permit during tho first stage of treatment to minglo freely with each other. Tho efl'ect is good. But we keep the Travolorsand tho Politicians strictly isolated." Ho was about to conduct mo out at tho room by a door opposite th of through which wo had entered, when a detachod phrase, uttered by ti tmniDous 'ontleman. arrested my at- , , o tontiotu Scinio Africanus once remarked to mo " "Them couldn't bo a better oxample," said my guide, as wo passed nut of tho room. of what we call tho forcing system in the treatment of mendacity. That patient camo to us voluntarily about two months ago. The form of his disease is a common one. Perfectly truthful in all other respects, ho can not resist the temptation to claim personal acquaintance and even intimacy with distinguished individuals. His friends laughed at him so much for this weaknoss that when ho heard of tho establishment of the Infirmary ho came hero, like a scusible man, andput himself under our care. Ho is doing splendidly. When ho found that his reminiscences of Bcacousficld and HIsmarek aud Victor Hugo created no sensation here, but were, on the contrary, at once matched and capped bystill more remarkable experiences narrated by other inmates, bo wits at first a little staggered. But tho habit is so strong, and tho peculiar vanity that craves admiration on this score is so exiictiusr. that ho bcirati to extend his acquaintanco, gradually ami cautiously, back into tho past. Soou wo had him riving reminiscences oi xatieyrauu, oi Thomas Jofterson ami of Lord lornwallis. Observe the psychologic ellect nf our svstom. The ordinarv checks on tho performances oi sttcn a uar ocmg removed and, no doubt, suspicion, noteven wonder being expressed at any of his anecdotes, he has gone back through Voltaire and William tho Silent to Charlemagne, and so on. There happens to be in tho msiiiuiton nnoiuur patient with precisely the same troublo. Thev arc, therefore, in active competi tion, ami each serves to force thu other back moro rapidly. Not long ago I heard our friend in here describing one of Heliogabalus'.s banquets, which ho had attended as an honored guest. 4Whv, I was there, tool' cried tho other liar. 'It was tho night they gave us tho boar's head stuflcd with goose giblets. and that delicious dry Opmiian umscadinef " Well." I asked. 4 'what is your prog nosis in this case?" Just now tho two personal reminiscence liars are driving each other back through ancient history at the rate oi threo centuries a week. Tho Hood isn't likelv to stop them. Bofort long they win ho mate hiiiiT reminiscences oi wiu antediluvian patriarchs, and then they'll bring up square on Adam. They can't go any ittrtner man auam. - mai. time tllov will bo readv for tho truthcure procoss; and after a few weeks spent in an atmosphere of strict veraci ty in tho other wing oi ino tniinuwj. they'll go out into tho world again perfectly cured, and much more useful citi--rtna limn linfnrn tlldV flll tn US." We wont tip-stairs and saw the scrupulously neat bedrooms which tho patients occupy, through tho separato wards whore tho isolated classes aro treated across to tho right wing of tho building and Into a lecture-room whoro tho convalescent liars were gathered to hear a most interesting dissertation on 44 Tho Inexpediency of Falsehood from tho Local Point of View." I was not surprised to recognize in tho lecturer my railroad acquaintance, tho Boston lawyor, Merkle. On our way back to tho rcccptionroom, or office, wo mot a pleasant-looking gentleman about lorty years old. "Ho is a well-known society man," the' Assistant Superintendent whispered as tho inmato approached, "and ho was formerly tho mostfpolitely insincere pornn In America. Kobotlv COttld toll WllUtl he was uttering tho truth, or, indoed, wUen ho ever did uttr tho truth. Ilia

4iNverthele," h

hsblt paean so exaggerated that his ralativwa induced hwtj to com o

raifturm ihuucw - Lugvill for treatmt I t.uvu viwi ium liitu. for hu is am giaa to a good ex dleal otira, WtJ shall lia i if. . I.I,., 1 tVtu (irat nS roatiy to iiMKJunrji" "j -- next weak." TAvoitrtu liar was about M)pastw, but the Assistant bupennieHuei i 8tonn4l him. "Mr. Van BaHi,evoort, ' i.o Am "lut mt make vou awiualntsd witli tliis eentlemaa, who has boa iusctlngoursystein." 4'1 am giau io mm Ransovoort." I said. Ho raised his hat and made me an unexceptionable bow. "And I," h replied, tfitli a smile of charming courtosy, 4 'am moot you, niri iiutinnr riau nur bvi lyj sir. 1 simply don't care a The somewhat startling candor of lite words was so much at variance with the porfeot politeness of his manner that 1 was taken aback. I stammered something about not desiring to intrude. But as ho still stood thero as if expecting tho conversation to bo continued, I 44I supposo you are looking forward to your release next week?" "ros, sir," ho replied. "I shall be rather glad to got out again, but my wifo will bo sorry. I looked at tho Assistant Supcnn tendent. He returned a glance lull or professional pride. "Null, goou-uy, Mr. Van Bansovoort," I said. "Per haps I shall have tho pleasure oi meet said he, shaking my hand most cordial ly, and giving tho Assistant SupcriniiiiiMi utiL. nil. lb a lAiiiui v. timiiour n irienmv n as ne iiaa-eu uu I nnultl fill manv more iasos than 1 have to write with descriptions of what 1 saw in tho Infirmary, intelligence and thoroughness were apparent in all of tho arratiffomenLs. I encountered and conversed with liars of moro varie tie nnd deirreo of mendacity than you would believe bad distinct existence. Tho majority of the casos were common place enough. Liars of real genius seem to be as raro inside the establish mcnt as thoy aro outside. I became conviucod from my observations during tho profitable afternoon which I spent at Lugvillo that chronic mendacity Is a disease, as tho Assistant Superintendent said, and that it is amenable, in a great number of cases, to proper treatment On the imoortanco of the experiment that is being carried on at Lugville with so much energy and apparent success It is not necessary io unaie. I slnecrelv hone that vou will not miseonstruo'my motives in laying the. matter before vou: and I can not too strongly urge you to go down to Lugvillo yourself at the earliest oppor tmiitv. Yon otitrht to see with your own eyes how admirably Lorin Jenks' bnnuest Is administered, and what a prosj)cet of retorru anu regenerauuu the Infirmary's system holds out to unfortunates. The regular visitors' day is Wednesday. No doubt they would 'admit you at any time. A". 1 is. HOUSEHOLD DOTS. - ThlHss That It U 'Well or Every Homekeeper to JCtiovr. That it is easier to retain health than to regain it'll i at serious headaches often conic from ill-fitting spectacles. That tin cleaned with paper will shine better than when cleaned with flannel. That powdered rice sprinkled ujon lint aud applied to fresh wounds will stop bleeding. That suit win remove tne stain irom silver caused by eggs when applied dry with a soft, clotii. That cistern water maybe purified by charcoal put m a bag and mmg m tho water. That hot, dry flannels applied to the face aud neck is a very effective remedy for a "jumping toothache" That fruit or rust stains on table linen or other white cloths may be removed by soaking iu a weak solution of Oxalic acid. , That hard waters anj to be preferred to soft waters in the tea-pot, a the hard waters dissolve les of the tanuiu of the leaves. That after tea has boon steeped m boiling water for throe minutes a large proportion of tho Valuable constituents aro extracted. That tho most effectual remedy fot slimy aud greasy drain pipes is copper as dbsolved and left to work gradually through tho pipe. That plaster of Paris ornaments may bo cleaned by covoriug them with a thick layer of starch, letting it dry thoroughly and then brushing with a still' brush". That a room crowded to discomfort with furniture and ornaments, no mattor how costlv. is never restful and homelike, ami always suggestive of the shop or tho museum. Ihat old feather beds, by puttm them unon a clean rraw plot during a heavy shower, permitting them to bo thoroughly wet through and then dried and beaten with light rods, will freshen and enliven tho feathers. That a dark and gloomy room may Imi brightened bv niacins clwnizod shelves over tho doors and windows, irrounlncr scarlet, yellow or elided fans upon the walls, and placing pretty bric-a-brac and vases in positions where thov will bo brought into reliof by tho cheerful background. Good llouiekcci9 A Now Jersey fisherman carries .,.!!, I,im an rlielrip mstchinQ with whlfth lm can stir mi the fish from the lowest depths of a pond. When ho gets them moving ho squirts a gallon nf tonic Into tho water. This sharpens their appetites and makes them bite voraciously. & T. Suh.

PERSONAL AND LITCrTAwY. THs last book read hy

Jraat was 44Tha tau oi a niA'. Y. W. A Caaadlaa bwrymaa reany preaoked ave mm on a atreUa to eoMgregaOoa wkiok patiently awlurwl Nearly a half la aaniber aad twothirds ia poiat of oiroulauoK oi ijw . aewspairs of tk world are pnaVed ia K8' . . Condensations ol such Hoveis mm Tk Vicar of Wakelieki" appear la a new series of school "readars" mw bng publlslied ia Imdos. "a Umm- Bildressed to "Caarfe . Kmitk. K mil." didn't bother the Bos ton postmaster over te seconds. H. forwardenl it to Cape Ana. Botim Transcript. Mason Mitchell, an actor, quit is Kat Claxtoa Company to fight ia th Biol rebellion aad got killed. It is now said that he enlisted because an aoireea had jilted him. The death of an aged Oaloan waa caused by the shock at discovering that lie was only nmety years oiu, of being a centenarian as he had suppoed. Uieveiana x.aer. The name r.raraa itseu ooaveja luck. Emma AlbanI, Ivmnut xseyaua. Kmma Thursby, JCnuna Jucn ana traHKi Abbott, au aga sojiriKw, u successful. Chicago Inter Ocean. General Buckner's staff ia the Conederate Array furnished me eousiry with three Episeopal Ulshops uaua2her. who is now Bishop of Kentucky; Harris, Jiisuopoi Miciugsu, uu Bishop of Texas. N. 1. Mail. ...... "Hiawatha," told in woros oyair. Longfellow, is borne put into carvea wood uy wmuirop rrorce, rusi, . w f'ne new house of George Slater, at Norwich, Conn. Mr. Slater inherited about 15,000.000 from his father, who "ave $1,000,000 for the benefit of Southern freedracn- Hartford Font. One of the richest women in Denver is Mrs. Bishop Warren, of whom so much has been written since her niarria"c with the handsome and gifted, Methodist preacher. Many years ago this lady went to Denver a poor, hardworking sowing-girl. Her face was bee fortune, for as she bravely plied her trade she was wooed and won by one Ilift", a miner, and when he finally died he left hor a fortune of several million, dollars. Mrs. HifT was a devout Methodist, and Denver gossips tell that Bishop Simpson sent Bishop Warren to that city on purpose to marry the millionaire widow. Their wedding was a popular one, every Methodist in Denver being invited Chicago Tribune. HUMOROUS. L'shtning wrenched a cornet front tho hand of an amateur performer tas other day at Laucastor, Pa. Yet thore arc poople who don't like lightning. Guest Waiter, did you say mis was genuine turtle soup? Waiter les. tir; it was maue out ui iav v trend near here in wnion a Rime wa kept last summer. Seedier Union. Mother to little boy What ar you trving for? Boy 1 mashet my linger. iioiner niienr uvj xvoterday. Mother Win didn't you cry then? Boy'Cause I was playin' a didn't have time. Arkansas. Traveler. 44 Have you any malaria here?' ' asked a lady who was looking at a rural boarding-place for her family"Well," said the landlady, "we nam e

otnone jistnow; ioiks naven i asKeu for it; but we'll got it for your family it . you want it."

Mary (aged seven, out uigninca;- ,

.Tohnnv. 1 am surprised that yott should say "too previous." It's naughty. . . .' i t .. i. r.. .N ilolinny tageu six, uui iitwwwiu t What should I say? Marj- (loftily) 44 Say "take time by th bangs-' " Chicago jieraia. ; A Tennessee young man recently .. sent 9, fervent note to his girl, as King her to elope. The old man, however, ( guarded her so carefully that she was unable to do so. But she mauaged to , send him a nice muskmeion. xi9 eantelopo" told him just how matters stood. In order to explain in a clear ana simplo manner the necessity of regu-,,; lating our conduct by some fixed stand- , ard, a schoolmaster asked a pupil what f .... ..... t It !. he ought io uo wim ma .u went sometimes too fast and sometime too slow. "Sell it," was the immediate) response. K. Y. Independent.

Summer Sport A wnall boy stts on an oM oak stump And into a rotten hole , He tokM with the force of a sno4tea-rws U The eml of a hlokory lol. lint nnon the maaU boy ssadly Hess S With a wall as loud as a kob. jL Alasl he al tackled a nen or bees T9 And was hit by the queen bee's prenr. Washington JIatchcL Uncle Jake (to his chums, as an illustration of the simplicity of a stageload of city folks recently under his charge)-E wo turned ClaggoU's Bluff, about seven o'clook, the hull crowd burstedout ia "olts!" arid "aba!" An' what d'ye s'pose 't was all about? Why, ono of them common red an' yallor snnsetsl Harper's Ikmw. Scene English primary school. Mistress (teaching her class the alphabet) to Jolmwy (aged five.) Now Johnny, lot's hear how well yeu oaa say your letters right through. JohnnyHa, be, se, de, he, her, ge, haitch School-ma'am Can't yoti say "aitca," Johnny? Johnny Yessemiiaitch, hi -fa, ka, sheoi Soho-ina'am WhatU Tliere's no snoli letter as that. Yo mean L. Jehhny Yessem, hi- know; but. ma says yon musa't say' hell any!, more, cos they oaUs k skbel wiw. A-t

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