Jasper Republican, Volume 2, Number 3, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 1 October 1875 — An Unfortunate Predicament. [ARTICLE]

An Unfortunate Predicament.

People have noticed that one of the handsomest young men in Burlington has suddenly grown bald, and dissipation is attributed as the cause. Ah, no; he went to a church sociable the other wteek, took three charming girls out to the refreshment table, let them eat all they wanted and then found he had left his pocket-book athome and a deaf man that he had never seen before was at the cashier’s desk. The young man, with his face aflame, bent down and said softly “ I am ashamed to say I have no change with ” “ Hey?” shouted the cashier. “I regret to say,” the young man re-peated-on a little louder key, “that I have unfortunately come away without any change to ” “ Change two ?’ ’ chirped she deaf man, “ Oh, yes, I can change a five if you want it.”

“ No,” 1 the young man explained, in a terribly penetrating whisper, for half a dozen people were crowding up behind him, impatient to pay their bills and get away, “I don’t want any change, because ” “Oh, don’t want no change?” the deaf man cried, gleefully. “’Bleeged to ye, ’bleeged to ye. ’Tain’t often we get such generous donations. Pass over, your bill.” “No, no,” the young man explained, “I have no funds ” “Oh, yes, plenty of fun,” the deaf man replied, growing tired of the conversation and noticing the long line of people waiting with money in their hands, “but ;I haven’t got time to talk about it now. Please settle and move on.” “ But,” the young man gasped out, “ I have no money ” “Go Monday?” queried the deaf cashier. “ I don’t care when you go; you must pay and let these other people Come up.” “ I have no money!” the mortified young man shouted, ready to sink into the earth, while the people all around him, and especially the three girls he had treated, were giggling and chuckling audibly. “Owe money?” the cashier said,’‘of course you do; $2.75.” <• “ I can’t pay!” the youth screamed, and by turning his pocket inside out and yelling his poverty to the heavens he finally made the deaf man understand. And then he had to shriek his full name three times, while his ears fairly rang with the half stifled laughter that was breaking out all around him; and -he had to scream out where he worked, and roar when he would pay, and he couldn’t get the deaf man to understand him until some of the church members came up to see what the uproar was, and, recognizing their young friend, 'made'it all right with the cashier. And they on ng man went out into the night and clubbed himself, and shred his locks away until he was bald as an egg.—Burlington Hawk-Eye. Industry is but poorly efifcouraged in Trenton, N. J. A thief stole twenty-two ladies’ watch-chains there in one night, ’ and daylight revealed to him the fact that every one of them came from a dollar store’ —The honest man smiles and courts the investigation of his work, while a rogue grows angry and expresses indignation at the “ insult.”