Jasper Republican, Volume 1, Number 34, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 7 May 1875 — The Boy on Moving Day. [ARTICLE]

The Boy on Moving Day.

One of the most disastrous elements in a moving Is a small boy with an aspiring disposition. If he carries anything, it must be a chair, which he takes on his head with the back at the front, so as to prevent him from seeing where he is going, and with the erect legs in range of the chandelier and upper door casings. Thus equipped, he strikes a military step, improvising’ his mouth into a trumpet, and starts out In less than a quarter of an hour he has that chair safely on the cart where it is not wanted, and is hurrying back after another. Before the carman has returned for the second load, the one boy has developed into eight, each boy with a chair, each boy under feet and each boy making as much noise as a planing-mill on a damp day. If a boy cannot get a chair to carry he wants two bed-posts. He wants two so he can carry one under each arm. Then he starts down-stairs. First the posts cross each other at the front and nearly throw him down, then they cross at the back and the front ends fly off at a tangent, one of them digging into the calcfanined wall and the other entangling in the banisters. But he won’t let one of them go, but hangs on to both with exasperating obstinacy. In the meantime the carman, who is working by the load &nd not by the day, is waiting at the loot of the stairs, and wishing that he had that boy back of the Rocky Mountains for about fifteen minutes; and the anxious father, with a straw-bed in his arms and his eyes fall of dust, is at thread of the stairs waiting to come down, and vociferating at the top of his voice, until the dust from the tick gets into his throat and precipitates him into a violent fit of conghing. By the time the third load is on the way the novelty of helping carry furniture is worn off to the boy, and be and his companions are firing rubbish from the garret at each other, or fooling with the horse just as some heavy object is being lifted into the cart. The best plan for a moving family that has a boy is to get him a half bushel of frozen potatoes to throw, and set him out in the suburbs until the affair is over. —Danbury News.