Jasper Republican, Volume 1, Number 25, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 5 March 1875 — A Parisian “Industry.” [ARTICLE]

A Parisian “Industry.”

There is an artful dodger in Paris whose operations have been so clever as to deserve respectful notice. He is a middle-aged person of an innocent aspect, and his pretty plan was to meander slowly along, and, seizing the first mildeyed old gentleman he met, to lisp in a childlike manner: “Totty has lost bis mammy; take Totty back to mammy.” The mild-eyed would naturally feel somewhat confused and alarmed, when to him would further appear a confederate of Totty's. who would remark in accents bland that Totty was a harmless idiot, and if the stranger would see Totty home it would be a real charity. Fired by benevolence, the old gentleman would undertake to bear the soft, sweet Totty to his abode, and would trot along the boulevards among the toy-shops, which appeared to enchant Totty. That gentle being would observe: “ Totty wants a harlequin; buy Tot>y a harlequin;” and his antique warder would hasten to gratify that mild longing. Before the ingenious Totty reached his home he was usually laden with the marketable results of the kind-hearted old creature’s benevolence, and did a thriving business until several benefactors happened to compare notes, and Totty’s innocent industry was quenched. A certain eminent lawyer is celebrated at the bar for the following mode of examining a witness: “Now pray listen to the question I am going to ask you. Be attentive; remember, you will answer as you please; and remember, I don’t care a rush what you answer,” etc. One of the Judges, somewhat tired of the monotony of his exordiums, one day accosted him in the street: “Hal hit you, T Now pray listen to the question lam going to ask you. Be attentive; remember, you will answer as you please; and remember, I don’t care a rush what you answer. How are you f What is the longest word in the English language? Smiles; because there is a mile between the first and last letter. —Chicago has strawberries in market, but dealers have to keep a stove for every strawberry, and prices are awful. —During 1874 the Roman Catholic lost by death three Bishops in this country— Wheelan, McFarland and Bacon.