Jasper Republican, Volume 1, Number 16, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 1 January 1875 — The Pig. [ARTICLE]

The Pig.

The pig was thus written up by a Georgia boy, whose composition was published in his local paper, the Griffin News, and was as follows: “ The pig is about as big as a sheep, only a pig’s wool isn’t good for making stockings of. Why is a pig like a tree? Because he roots. That is a conundrum. A pig washes himself in the mud. A pig has four legs, one under each corner of his body. They pickle pigs’ feet, but not until after the pig has done using ’em. A pig squeals awful when it rains, also when you pull its tail. A pig has got a first-rate voice for squealing and he grunts when he feels good. You can’t make a whistle of a pig’s tail ’cos it is crooked. Why is a pig like Tommy Grant? ’Cos he’s got his nose in everybody’s business, Tliis is another conundrum, which is all I know about a pig.”

1875. New Year’* calls are in order to-day. A prosperous and bappv New Year to all. Hie weather has been quite changeable the past week. The Remington Guard has suspended for one week only. D. V. Garrison, of Remington, has built an addition to bis harness shop. ' w» »■ ■ ■ ■ The Odd Fellows festival at Francesville, will be held to-morrow evening. Go to BEDFORD’S for Jewelry, Watch-Guards, Chains and Keys. Charley Teagarden, of Remington, has 150,000 seres of Texas land for sale. Mr. J. Misner, of Remington, who has been lying very low for the past two weeks, with a fever, is now recovering. The new year commences to-day. Now ‘‘turn over a new leaf” and leave off your bad habits. The mumps have broken ou{ in Remington. Andrews, the singer has them pretty bad. Marble playing has commenced and the average boy will soon be found with a patch on each knee. The days have been gradually lengthening since last Monday week, that being the ahortest day of the year. No more appropriate New Year’s present can be made than a good dinner to some poor fellow. Somebody wants American wives te study the difference between housekeeping and homekeeping. Mr. H. S. Travis, of Oxford, honored us with a brief call on Tuesday. He reports Oxford in a flourishing condition. The I. O. O. F. of this place will have a publio installation of officers next Tuesday evening, nt the Court House. "We are under obligations to Mrs. S. A. Morgan, of Remington, for a Fottsvillo, <(Pa.) paper. An alarm of fire was sounded early one morning last week, caused by the burning of a chimney.

Go to BEDFORD’S for your Holiday Goods. A large stock just received. Elsewhere in this issue will be found the Auditor’s regular annual continued story. Peruse it studiously. Nearly all of the public schools in the •county hare a vacation until after the holidays. Goodland was well represented at the ball Christmas night by a number of y 'ung ladies -and gentlemen from that town. J. E. Hollett, a hardware man at Remington, is building a large addition to his .establishment. Our sister town of Rensselaer will be Tendy to start several brick blocks in the spring. A railroad puts spirit into a town. —Lowell Star. Quarterly meeting will be held at the M. £. Church, in this place, on the 9th and 10th instant. Presiding Elder, J. L. Smith, will foe present. Mr. Thomas McCoy, a student of Purdue University, Lafayette, is at home, in this {dace, spending the holidays among his old Associates.

The Masonic supper, given at Masonic Hall last evening, was quite a pleasant affair. All seemed to enjoy themselves and have a good time generally. To-day we are compelled to prepay the postage on the Republican outside of the county. The subscription price will still remain at $1.50 per annum, however. Quite a number of Remington young folks came over to Rensselaer last Friday to spend Christmas and eat turkey. A portion of them attended the ball at night. —» Charley McCulley, Charley Harlacher and George Griffin, all of Remington, havemade our life-path smoother by handing ns a $1.50 each for the Republican. "Am I not a little pale?” inquired a lady who was short and corpulent, of a crusty old bachelor. "You look more like a big tub,” was the blunt reply. Newspapf r advert ising is a permanent addition to the reputation of the goods advertised ; it is a permanent influence always at work in their interest. Two heavily laden wagons on Washington street did not pass each other with the smoothness that characterized the transit of venws, which led to the exchange of a few cuss words. A Uttle boy asked a lady who made her teeth? "My Creator,” she replied. "Well,” said the little youngster, "Dr. Kelley made my ma’s, and they beat your’n clean out of sight.” G<p to BEDFORD’S to get yonr Watches, Clocks and Jewelry repaired. We understand that when the streets of Remington become crowded with teams, end wagons loaded with corn, certain persons draw their revolvers and threaten to eboot if the way is not cleared for them. 1

A young poetess sends in a contribution entitled, “Let us Love.” We will do our best; but we hare been married aboutseven weeks, and are getting a little out of practice. Won’t the Renton county people have a grand time hunting the myth to-day? If some of them are not carried home to their dear ones a lifeless corpse, theu we are no prophet, that’s aIL The Christinas tree at the M. E.. Church in Remington was well loaded with presents for the youth, middle-aged and old of the land. The house was crowded to its fullest capacity, while qnietnde and good order were characteristics of the large assembly.

We had the honor of taking Dr, Maxwell, of the Benton county Herald, by the hand, last Friday. The Dr. does not look as if be was afraid to ride across the country in his buggy, tho reports of a Remington editor to the contrary, notwithstanding. Don’t fail to call at BEDFORD’S when you come to the city. m» Be it known unto all whom it may concern that C. W. Clifton is the agent for the best family sewing machine in America— Tho Weed. It sews from the finest muslins to the coarsest fabrics without any change of needle or tension. Several persons imbibed pretty freely the extract of corn, last week. We noticed one individual, Christmas, that used a little more of the sidewalk than was necessary and whose tracks would have made a good pattern for a worm fence. Just celebrating the holidays, you know. While at Remington we called on B. M. Donnelly. He has been taking lessons in coloring photographs in ink and water colors and is now turning out some very fine frame pictures copied from old ones. Any one wishing copying done in good style will do well to give him a trial. Some lmg-necked, narrow-nosed, bigmouthed fellow asked us last Saturday, “bow the papers in Remington lived?” Just as though a paper would not make more money in Remington than in Rensselaer!— Remington Record. “Blow ye the trumpet, blow!” A goodly number of those fond of “tripping the light fantastic” assembled at Spitler’s Hall Christmas Eve and improved a few hours very pleasantly. The music rendered by Hopkins’ Quadrille Band was splendid, everybody were in high glee, and at a late hour all went away feeling that it was good to be there.

While in Remington, lost Saturday, we called at Church & Lyon’s mammoth mercantile establishment. Such is the business done at that house that to stand for a few minutes and look on reminds one very forcibly of a Chicago wholesale house. Mr. Church wears the same smiling countenance he was wont to wear in days of yore.

Go to the RAILROAD STORE for fine Toilet Soaps. The Freewill Baptist quarterly meeting will be held in the Presbyterian Church, commencing Friday evening, Jan. 8, 1875, and is to be continued over Sabbath. Services Saturday at 10; 30 a. n»., 2; 30 p. m , and in the evening at 6; 30; also, Sabbath morning and evening. Rbv. S. E. Rogers, Pastor. Snyder cannot imagine what’s the matter with his daughters. Twice this week he has gone home before the regular dinner hour, and both times all four of his daughters jumped up suddenly on seeing him, and jammed something into the bureau. It is all a mystery to him, but it is very evident to us that they have been making him a New Year’s present. We have received for publication the proceedings of Jordan Township Teachers’, Institute, but for want of space are compelled to leave it out. The next Institute will be held at the Egypt school-house, on the 16th day of the present month. All teachers and others interested in the work of education are invited to attend and take part in the exercises. The Christmas Ball, given by the Rensselaer String Band on Christmas night at Spitler’s Hall, was a grand affair. The attendance was quite large, there being about forty numbers out, besides a large number of spectators. The music, under the auspices of Professors Abbett and Hopkins, was as good as could be desired, and not until the “wee sma’ hours” did the merry company seek their respective places of abode. We clip the following from the Union, of last week: “At a regular communication of Prairie Lodge No. 125, F. & A. M., last Saturday night, an election was held to choose officers for the ensuing year, which resulted in the selection of M. F. Cbilcote, Worshipful Master, S. N. Johnson, Senior Warden, A. K. Yeoman, Junior Warden, H. W. Wood, Treasurer, and S. P. Howard, Secretary.”

Go to the RAILROAD STORE for Best and Cheapest Undershirts and Drawers. The exercises at the Court House ou Christmas Eve were a success in every particular. she house was filled almost to overflowing and the affair was one which surpassed all expectations. The most attractive feature to be seen was the bower, it being a very large one, handsomely decorated with evergreen twigs and branches, adorned with beautiful pictures, and loaded with presents, many of them very elegant and costly oues. It was, indeed, a magnificent sight. The music was excellent, and the recitations by the little folks meritorious and were greeted with rounds of hearty applause. Taken all together the occasion was one of pleasure and enjoyment and will long be remembered by all present;

The Rensselaer schools will open again next Monday, after a vacation of ten days. The Rensselaer schools have donated over ten dollars to the Kansas grasshopper sufferers. Winter set in again last Tuesday, since Which time the mud has been completely bridged over. Mr. James Slattery, who is at present boarding at Mrs. Howard’s, has been very ill for two weeks past, bat is now convalescent, Mr. P. Dunlap has taken charge of the bay scales at the public square, near the bank. They have been thoroughly overhauled and are guaranteed to weigh correctly. Give our old friend Prestley a call When you have anything to weigh. He will always be found at the Kansas City Hotel. Go to BEDFORD’S for Bill and Letter Paper. During the month of December marriage licences were issued by the Jasper County Clerk to the following named individuals: William Gilmore and Mary B. Cox. Jasper Guy and Emma V. Hartman. David Miller and Martha J. Biggs. William H. Snow and Mahala J. Hurley. John Cossey and Amanda Smith. Silos Potts and Mary Gratner. Pupils Wanted.—The undersigned desires to take a few pupils, ladies and gentlemen, in the studies of the preparatory or regular college courses, Latin, Mathematics, or the Sciences. He is a member of this year’s graduating class of the Northwestern University, and can show satisfactory testimonials. For terms, address CHARLES E. LAMBERT, Rensselaer, Indiana. Go to BEDFORD’S for best Cigars in town. Prof. Emery, a semi-mute, will give an exhibition at tho Cenrt House to-morrow [Saturday] evening, consisting of a grand illuminated mirror of worlds. Tho “order of creation” will be illustrated, from the universe down to atoms. Admission 25cts. Children, over 5 and under 12, 15 cts.— Doors open at 7. Commence at 8. Tickets for salo at Kannal’s and Harding & Willey’s drug stores.

The concert at Remington, on Christmas night, given by the Remington Glee Club and the Wolcott Musical Union, was-a grand success. The “Beautiful Golden Sometime” was done in handsome style. Tho “Rustic Festival” was simply splendid. “Corporaj Snapps,” impersonated by Mr. H. H. Walker, was rendered in the regular German style, while “Esau” and the “Little Farm Well Tilled” called forth cheers and rounds of applause. Taken as a whole the concert was one of the best we have ever had the pleasure of attending in Remington.

Go to tie RAILROAD STORE for the best Table and Pocket Cutlery. Just see what the Valparaiso Vidette says about the lion and then get over your scare. Here it is: “The Benton county beast, about which so much ado has been made, is now acknowledged by its inventors to be a myth. Several owners of large tracts of land on which were valuable groves, devised this method of deterring hunters of game and nuts thereon, for fear especially during the dry season of their setting fires which would be dangerous. They now acknowledge the making not only of the stories, but of the monstrous track themselves by artificial means, and acknowledge that they beat themselves in doing it, as they incurred more damage to their lands from hunters of the myth than they avoided by their frightful stories. Our information is from an intelligent and reliable gentleman who has just been spending some time in the immediate locality of the sensation, and knows whereof he affirms.’ ’ Go to the RAILROAD STORE for Prints and Muslins.