Jasper Republican, Volume 1, Number 12, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 4 December 1874 — Picking Up a Thimble. [ARTICLE]

Picking Up a Thimble.

There is nothing that a man can mash so hopelessly, awfully flat by stepping on it as a thimble. Other things are capable of being pressed out into a remarkable condition of thinness, but after a man lifts his foot off a thimble gold leaf is not a circumstance. And, it is a mortifying fact, speaking for our sex, that a man is never asked to pick up a thimble that he does not invariably step on it. Sometimes he reaches it and flat tens it out with the first stride he makes, as he springs from the chair, but, as a general thing, he backs up to it, teetering along across the carpet-in that ridiculous way which no created thing but a man can imitate, and looking down at his toes and in every other direction except behind him. When he has backed right up to |t she says, with a sweet smile, “There it is, right behind you.” And then he turns around and plants his foot on it. When he lifts up his mudhook that thimble looks like a nickel, in the gibbos phase. And when he picks it up and looks at her, her lovely face is about as destitute of a sweet smile as that thimble is of a place to put her finger. And then to see that wretched man break all the blades of his pen-knifs trying to pry that thimble open with it; and to see him set it on edge and try to pound it open with the poker; and to hear his heart-broken attempts at jokes, .and see the horrible shape he finally works the thimble into ; all this requires the sarcastic descriptive powers of the woman who sent him to pick up the thimble. —Burlington Hawk-Bye.

—The Prejsbyterian Synod of Virginia contains 191 ministers, 236 churches, 19,522 church members and 14,875 Sab-bath-school' scholars. They contributed last year $20,644 for home and foreign missions, $108,547 for pastors’ salaries, and $140,000 for other objects. —“You’ve sewed the wind,'and now you reap the whirlwind,” said the schoolteacher, as he brought his cane down hi a hurry on the back of a rebellions boy. “Yes, and it’s a regular hurry-cane, too,” sobbed the youngster, between the Whacks —JT. F, Commercial A4torti*or,