Jasper Republican, Volume 1, Number 7, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 30 October 1874 — Scissorings. [ARTICLE]

Scissorings.

Wanted for chemical purposes—A “lady dissolved in tears.” Lawyer’s maxim—W here there’s a will there’e away—to break it. Who is the largest man? The lover; he is a man of tremendous sighs. The World’s memory is short. It will forget you if you do not jog it frequently. The sweetest thing in hats is young ladies’ heads, says the New Orleans Picayune. “Sacred to the memory of three twins,” is the inscription over the grave of triplet* in New Hampshire. A contempory thinks that sky blue is a pretty color for ceilings, but not so tasty for milk at eight cents a quart. “She dyed for me,” said the young husband, when be beheld her dark locks gradually returning to their original red. The Duluth people call a canoe a gondola, and are so precise in their language that they speak of a jack-knife as a John-knife. An English girl has been taught by her father how to shoe ahorse. Among country American girls, about the very fit st thing they are taught is to shoo chickens and flies. Said that Detroit Justice: “It is my solemn duty to wain you, Jane Welch, that you are on the high road to degradation. This court is going to send you to the House of Correction for sixty days, but with only a feeling of kindness. You will have time to reflect; your nose will lose its rosy hue; you’ll have a chance to comb yonr hair and make yourself a bustle, and I havn’t a doubt'that, before you come out, you will have such high aims that a policeman can’t get within ten rods of yon.”