Jasper Republican, Volume 1, Number 4, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 9 October 1874 — That Detroit Justice. [ARTICLE]

That Detroit Justice.

There is a Justice in Detroit who, if we credit what the Free Press of that city says, has made himself remarkable for the impressive solemnity of the sentences he passes upon prisoners. Here is that paper’s report of one of the latest cases in his court, a man who was arrestedjfor vagrancy: “ Can’t find nothing to do but loaf around the wharves and gallop up and down the alleys, eh?” remarked His Honor, as a young man was rushed out. “ I am a stranger in this town—deadbroke and nobody to borrow of,” replied the prisoner, his hair climbing up to 85 perpendicular as ’Bijah glared down upon him. During the momentary pause a boy in the alley was heard singing: “Not a shilling in my pocket— Palling hard against the stream!” “I can’t help it that you are dead broke,” said the Court. “I’d be glad if everybody owned a silver mine and two coach dogs. The officer says you have been wandering aimlessly around, sleeping on bales of hay, taking free lunches and making no effort to amass a fortune. You don’t seem to have any aim—any ambition.” “ Yes, I have,” replied the prisoner. “ Where is it, sir—where is it?” asked His Honor, leaning forward. “Didyou ever hear of Cicero taking free lunches? Did you ever read that Plato gamboled through the alleys of Athens? Tell me, sir, did you ever hear any one say that Demosthenes slept under a coal-shed or on a bale of hay? If you wanted to be a Plato there would be fire in your eye; your hair would have an intellectual cut; you’d step into a clean shirt and hire a mowing machine to pare those finger nails. Sir, you have got to go up for four months.”