Jewish Post, Indianapolis, Marion County, 15 January 2003 — Page 9

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January 15, 2003 NATS

The Art of Observation

Teen Scene

Mental flexibility can be dangerous gift

The greatest reward

By RABBI ALLEN H. PODET The human mind, especially the Jewish human mind, is so powerful an instrument that it by itself is testimony to the care of a loving God. Much

as the Greeks "created" philosophy, and the Romans contributed administration and order, the Jews taught the knowledge of God who loves and guides us, and the idea of morality on a divine basis. The human mind, especially the Jewish human mind, is at the same time so flexible an instrument that we are able to convince ourselves of very nearly anything, no matter how silly, crazy, or self-destruc-tive. With a little practice, it becomes almost effortless. For example, a little story: There is a circle of rabbis of many nations who belong to a closed e-mail group. I very much enjoy reading what pleases and troubles, amuses or astounds, or just interests the members of this group. One contributor was contacted by a woman who had a serious complaint related to his mishandled marriage counseling with her some time past. He protested that he had not, in fact, been counseling her. When she began to quote what he had told her, he recognized the kinds of things, even some of the phrases and points, that he would have said. He began to rethink himself: had he really been counseling her? It was certainly possible. As she went on, it became more than possible. It became clear that he was the man, and in fact, he did, now that he thought about it, dimly recall being involved with something of the kind. In short, he eventually did recall and admit to himself that he had simply forgotten that he had been the counselor at fault, and he faced the moral necessity to confess to the woman and face whatever consequences his malpractice might

bring. About this time, it became clear that the actual counselor had been another rabbi. This is a truly frightening case! It is bad enough when a woman of 35 or 40 summers remembers, often with a little misguided professional assis-

for a moment suggest that the current flood of abuse accusations against Catholic priests is mostly false, or hysteric, or made up long after the fact. It seems most likely that for the major part, these accusations have a serious basis in fact, and the cover-up of abuse by the

The upshot is that even a confession, years and years after the fact, needs to be viezoed with suspicion. A lot of little kids found that going to shut or religious school was not what they wanted to do. They went because they had to. And little Catholic kids had the added problem of being, frequently, frightened by the Church experience. (]elvish kids seldom report having been frightened. Bored, perhaps; not frightened.) Where does that resentment go?

tance, that when she was a little child of 6 or 8 Uncle Hiram - or even better, the local priest - fondled her. But this case suggests that poor Uncle Hiram, who is now well smitten in years and will admit that he forgets things sometimes, can be made to "remember" terrible things. All of us, Roman Catholic Priests included, carry enough of a Jewish guilty conscience so that we can suspect that, just maybe, we really did do something nasty long ago. Keep thinking about it and thinking about it, and pretty soon you will indeed recall doing something that never, in fact, happened. The upshot is that even a confession, years and years after the fact, needs to be viewed with suspicion. A lot of little kids found that going to shul or religious school was not what they wanted to do. They went because they had to. And little Catholic kids had the added problem of being, frequently, frightened by the Church experience. (Jewish kids seldom report having been frightened. Bored, perhaps; not frightened.) Where does that resentment go? In a healthy person, it yields to understanding. But who among us is altogether healthy? And in a flawed person, the potential for creation of a disastrous "memory" is apparent. The human mind is a flexible tool. Make no mistake: I do not

responsible higher authorities represents at the very least an intolerable example of clericalism, blind defense of the system and its minions at any cost. At the same time, we must guard against letting our thinking behave like a runaway train. For the most part. Catholic priests, like rabbis and ministers, are not Bernard Law or Elmer Gantry, but dedicated, decent people who give themselves freely to the service of the Almighty. Another dangerous example of mental flexibility is how easily Jewish intellectuals have embraced ethical relativism, something that their ancestors of only a few generations ago would not even have understood. Ethical relativism teaches that there is no absolute right and wrong. What is right in one culture is wrong in another. The conclusion is that there is no real - meaning objective and universal - standard. Even within one culture, such as modern America, determining what is right varies with the situation: "situation ethics." The classic case is that of the young mother trapped in a Soviet labor camp. As long as she is able to work, they will keep her there forever, separated from her husband and children. The only way she can be dismissed is for pregnancy. A helpful camp guard volunContimieci on page 14

By JULIE COHEN One of the biggest disadvantages of being a teenager is the job market. First of all, most

places that are half-way decent don't want to hire teenagers. Usually we can only work part time, and with school, our schedules are very inconsistent and ever-changing. Not to mention, most teens barely earn minimum wage. Money is really scarce, job or no job. Teens have to pay for gas, movie tickets, clothes, and sometimes even food. So finding a solid, good job that supplies both money and flexibility is very difficult. Personally, I am not allowed to work during the year because I am a fulltime student. So during the summer I have to earn enough money to last me through the year. (I also get an $11 allowance from my parents every week, not that it helps that much.) Instead of busing tables at a restaurant or working retail, I chose a job that is probably a lot more difficult than the typical teenage job. I work at a local synagogue during the summer, five days a week, six and a half hours a day, as a camp counselor for 2-year-olds. The pay isn't great and neither are

the stinky diapers, but it is the most rewarding experience 1 have ever had. The past two summers I have been able to spend my time with adorable, innocent, lighthearted little kids. The relationships that I made, the affection that 1 gave and received, and the things 1 learned from the 2-year-olds were unbelievable. One of Ralph Waldo Emerson's most famous quotes says something like "...to gain the affection of children...that is to have succeeded." I can't agree with him more. To hear a big laugh coming from such a little person is so rewarding that it doesn't matter how much I'm getting paid or how early 1 have to get up. One of the many dilemmas of the teenage years is growing up too fast. I feel like I'm always looking toward the future and never really enjoying what is going on in the present. Working with children has taught me to slow down and appreciate what I have going for me right now. When I am with tire kids, everything else goes away, and I feel relaxed and happy and carefree. Now I know why adults look back on their childhood and really miss it. This experience has been far more beneficial than any other job I could have chosen. I know that it is a reliable, comfortable, and enjoyable job. And 1 know that the lessons 1 have learned will last a lot longer than the money I made. Julie Cohen welcomes reader comments at: [email protected].