Jasper Banner, Volume 2, Number 46, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 3 January 1856 — The Joking Husbands. [ARTICLE]

The Joking Husbands.

Three\jblly husbands, out in the country, by the. names of Tim Watson, Joe Brown and Bill Walker, sat late one evening drinking, at the village tavern, until being pretty Well corned, they agreed that each : one, on returning home, should do the first thing'that his wife told him.

‘-v-a* 1 - - * < r I *- ( It ~r in default of which he should the [ next morniug pay the bill. They then , separated fob the night, engaging to 1 meet again next morning, and give} an honest account of their proceedings at fiouic, so faras they related; to Hio bill. The next morning Walker and} Brown were;early-nt their post, but it was sometime before Watson 1 ima le his appearance. Walker began first: “ 5u see when 1 entered my hod'“ the candle was out, and the lire giv- 1 ing but a glimmering light, I came j near walking into a pot of batter' that the pancakes were to be made I of in the morning. Wy wife, who} was dreadfully out of humor, said to. me, Barcustically, ‘Bill, do put your foot into the butter.’ ‘Just as you say, Maggie,' said 1, and without the least hesitation I put my foot in the batter, and went to bed.” Nejtt Joe Brown told his story: “Aly wife had already retired in our usual sleeping room, which ad-j [joins the kitchen, and the door of which was ajar; not being able to; a dreadful clattering among the* } hotisehold fnruiliH’e, an 4 my vvtfe, in i no pleasant mood, bawled out; “Do[ break the porridge pot.” No sooner! said than done. I seized the handle ; of the pot, and striking it against the i I chimney-jam, broke it in a thousand pieces. After this exploit 1 retired to rest, and got a curtain lecture til! I fell asleep.” It was now Tim Watson’s turn to ; give an account of himself; which he i did, with a veryjlong face, as follows: I “My wife gave me the most unlucky command in the world; for 1 a as blundering up stairs in the dark,, when she cried out: “Now, Tim,. do break your neck.” “I’ll be cuss’d lif I do Kate,” said I, gathering my-i self up the best way J could, “no I’d sooner foot the bill. ‘ And so, landlord,” continue ! Tim, “there’s the cash for you. But, by jingo, this is the last time I’ll ever risk five dollars on the command of my wife.”