Jasper County Democrat, Volume 23, Number 67, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 17 November 1920 — SOME SMILES [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

SOME SMILES

Expert Situation. “All the world’s a stage,” remarked the ready-made philosopher. “Yes,” responded Mr. Groucher. “And one of the best actors I know of is the hotel clerk. I am often tempted to applaud when I see him depicting the emotions of one who is delighted to meet another carload of perfect strangers.” No Time for Training. “Your business college for young ladies• seems to be all right." “It Is all right.” “Do you give the girls a good, practical business training?” ‘Tn reply to that question I can only say that 60 per cent of our graduates marry their employers the first year.” Natural Action. “Here he is complaining of having his payiheld up for every little thing, and I am sure they have nothing actually on the boy, for he is a real vessel of election." - . “Then if he poses as being a vessel, he can’t complain of being docked.” Use and Beauty. “Why is it that homely men are more popular with girls than handsome men ?” .... “Because,” answered Miss Cayenne, “in a'motorcar the handsome man is usually worrying about lunch time, while the real chap is helping repair a blowout.”

End of the Honeymoon. “I guess the honeymoon is about over.”* - —AWhat’s the matter?” “He’s begun to discover that some of her folks make him tired and she’s declared that some of his relatives are a nuisance.” Might Live Too Long. Old Gotrox —When I proposed to Miss Peachy last night she said that before answering she must see my family Bible. What do. you suppose that was for? Her Friend —Oh, she probably wants to see if you come of a long-lived family.

IN ORDER OF IMPORTANCE “Yes, I’ll be delighted to aqt as one of your bridesmaids. But you haven’t told me whom you are to marry." " “I haven’t given It a thought. I’ll pick him out after.l’ve arranged the more important details." A Real Optimist. A cheerful man Is Oswald Spire; He grins when he Must change a tire. Worth <More Dead. “Why was it you never married again, Aunt Sallie?” inquired a “lady of an old colpred woman. “’Deed Miss Kllle,” replied the old woman, earnestly, “dat daid nlggah’s wutb moah to me dan a liVe one. I gits a pension.” Most Unusual. “Anything unusual about the sec-ond-hand car.” “Yes, "indeed. It’s the only secondhand car I of that wasn’t especially made for the general manager of the company which builds these motors.” *The Pinch. “Don’t you suppose,” said a member of the police force, “that a bobby knows a rogue when he sees him?” “No doubt,” was the reply, ■“bpt the trouble is that he does not sdlze a rogue when he knows him!” —London Telegraph.