Jasper County Democrat, Volume 21, Number 92, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 15 February 1919 — IN ANOTHER KEY [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

IN ANOTHER KEY

Wrong Direction. * “You are an hour late this morning, Sam,” said an employer to his negro servant. “Yes, sah. I know It, sah. I was kicked by a mule on my way, sah.” “That ought not to have detained, you an hour, Sam.’* ' “Well, you see, boss, it wouldn’t have if he’d only have kicked me in this direction, but he kicked me de other way.” The Right Sort. Two Aucklaudcijkwere talking abouta" mutual friend: Said one: “So Jim has gone into the -navy and is now ona destroyer. 1 thought he was it pacitist.” "He is; a naval pacifist.” tvhat is a naval pacifist?” “One who plants dypth bombs for tbe purpose of spreading oil on the troubled waters.” 'Accounts. “How do you account for the continued high cost of living?” "Haven’t tried account for It,” replied the anxious-looking man. “I have been too busy keeping books oa all kinds of things to take up any additional question of accqunts.” A Doubtful Honor. “I hear your daughter is engaged to be married.” “Yes.” "Permit me to congratulate you." “1 dort’t know whether or not I should be congratulated. The chapshe’s picked out to many is a poet.” A Simple Suggestion. "Is there any truth to the story that you requested your brother-in-law to leave your house?” “None whatever,” replied the giant Missourian. “I kicked him. out, and told him I’d break his neck if he ever came back.” —Exchange.

THE REASON.

Bella—Why did she accept Tom Gibson from among all the men wfib havepaid her attention? Della—l guess he’s the only one whoproposed. Close Relations. The fellow whs plays poker Should take this fact to heart; His ‘■ante” and hie "uncle” Will not be far apart. Scorn. “What were you doing In the library?”’asked Mrs. Cunirox. “Reading the old poets,” replied her husband. “What’s the matter? Aren’t we ableto afford the brand-new ones?” Startling Thought. “What did the old man say whea you told him you wanted to marry his daughter” “Asked if I could support him in the same style his daughter had accustomed him to.” The Way of It'. “They don’t reckon prize fights as they do money.” y “How do you mean?” “In money, it takes ten mills to make one cent, but in the ring It takes hundreds of pounds to make one mill.” A New Interpretation. Little Algy —1 say, father, what does the last straw mean? Father —It means the fellow who was foolish enough to wear ft probably wishes he hadn’t.—lndianapolis Star. Synonymous Terms. "The word ‘highbrow’ used to mean< someone excessively intellectual, but now it apparently means someone-, who is disagreeable.” “-Well, what’s # the difference ?“-—' London Answers. Meeting the Snub. Miss Flirt —indeed, you must pardon „ me. I know your face, but I can’t place you. Mr. Sorehead— *■ You mean,-you know the place but you can’t face me.