Jasper County Democrat, Volume 21, Number 87, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 29 January 1919 — PHILOSOPHY OF WALT MASON [ARTICLE]

PHILOSOPHY OF WALT MASON

Oh, Wilhelmina, may I not congratulate you on your guest? His merry ways will hit the spot, and give your humdrum, life new zest. There’s something doing all the time when I'ttle Willie is on deck, some fascinating curves in crime, new stunts in arson, death and wreck. He’s come to eat your Holland prunes, with you' he’ll, .rest amd break his fast, and I would always count the spoons when he has finished his repast. The kaiser at your door has knocked, you’ve let him in, without his crown; now see. the henhouse safely locked, and all your portables nailed .down. Oh, Wilhelmina, may I not suggest a safe deposit vault, for all the goods you prize a lot, for' everything except the salt? Your visitor’s a Charming skate, when he has will and wish to please, but wlfile he strives to fascinate, hang firmly to your cupboard keys. No doubt ’twill grieve your gentle heart to see him with his crownless brow, but you should bid your tears depart until you (have secured the cow. His hair is white, his cheek is pale, he bears the marks of misery; but while you listen to his tale, just chain your palace to a tree. 'Hte’ll doubtless talk of Me und Gott until your woman’s heart is sore; but Wilhelmina, may I not suggest a strong new cellar door?